The Official "rant/bitch/moan" Thread

Kevin_rc_ie

Crash_000 wrote:

think i let you chat me up in the gingerman

cuckoo wrote:

Desperate times, desperate measures.

As I thought.

Agent Smith

smoke crack..............



it works on SO many levels

Crash

Kevin_rc_ie wrote:

As I thought.

Hahah yeah i noticed that straight off too

cuckoo

No, the desperate times was a reference to me watching 'celebrity love island' today!

Agent Smith

i was just too polite to say anything, tbh

John

Sure...

cuckoo

Hey, now i'm insulted at the implication that i was desperate that night. Guys, it was the gingerman, i'd be going somewhere else if i were desperate...

John

cuckoo wrote:

Hey, now i'm insulted at the implication that i was desperate that night. Guys, it was the gingerman, i'd be going somewhere else if i were desperate...

Be very careful about what you say about the gingerman.

Nietzschean

cuckoo wrote:

Hey, now i'm insulted at the implication that i was desperate that night. Guys, it was the gingerman, i'd be going somewhere else if i were desperate...

Anyone else find it odd that she doesn't deny being desperate? just that she wasn't extra desperate that night.....

Kevin_rc_ie

Cuckoo - How you doin'?

cuckoo

John2 wrote:

Be very careful about what you say about the gingerman.

Great pub, but i wouldn't view it as a pick up joint. Also, an ex of mine that i'm still on good terms with drinks in the gingerman so it's be weird to be trying to pick someone up with him as a spectator (probably spilling beer over himself laughing).

If i truely were experiencing a desperate drought i'd head over to Q Bar or somewhere like that, lots of guys on the prowl there.

And, anyway, one would not need to be desperate to flirt with the infamous crash.

Pet

Be very careful about what you say about the gingerman.

Yeah, he's from Lucan, he'll bate the head off yih.

Edit: damnit, too slow. twas an old joke anyways.

Nietzschean

cuckoo wrote:

And, anyway, one would not need to be desperate to flirt with the infamous crash.

lol that has to do him wonders when he's out on the pull...

Crash

Actually i was out one night, chatting to this young lady who was acquainted with some friends of mine, and i said "oh btw, my names neil" and got the reaction "ohhh! so YOU'RE the infamous Neil." then the bitch wouldnt tell me why i was apparently infamous. very odd.

cuckoo

Darth Bobo wrote:

Anyone else find it odd that she doesn't deny being desperate? just that she wasn't extra desperate that night.....

The biological clock is a ticking and i need to find me a man to have babies with, so Kevin, give me a quick run down of your family's genetic history and then we'll get breeding.

*echo*

*tumbleweed*

hmmm, why does talk of baby cravings always result in lots of empty space around me, and any guy with functioning testicles running to the hills?

Pet

I feel sick.

Nietzschean

crash_000 wrote:

Actually i was out one night, chatting to this young lady who was acquainted with some friends of mine, and i said "oh btw, my names neil" and got the reaction "ohhh! so YOU'RE the infamous Neil." then the bitch wouldnt tell me why i was apparently infamous. very odd.

boards n its army of lurkers

Nietzschean

cuckoo wrote:

The biological clock is a ticking and i need to find me a man to have babies with, so Kevin, give me a quick run down of your family's genetic history and then we'll get breeding.

*echo*

*tumbleweed*

hmmm, why does talk of baby cravings always result in lots of empty space around me, and any guy with functioning testicles running to the hills?

Alls i can say is LOL

Crash

This was prior to the thread - i eventually found out that she'd heard about some of the funnier stories about me before hand - but at the time it freaked the crap out of me

Nietzschean

crash_000 wrote:

This was prior to the thread - i eventually found out that she'd heard about some of the funnier stories about me before hand - but at the time it freaked the crap out of me

funny stories eh? do tell.............

Crash

most of them were stories from back when i was a stoner actually. those are just "hey lets roll something *THIS LONG* while holding your hands apart" kinda thing.

then there was the time i was awoken to a shout of "I cant believe he shat EVERYWHERE" - thats an amusing tale.

most of the others have drifted into anonymity and are no longer associated with me, so i think i'm ok

Nietzschean

crash_000 wrote:

then there was the time i was awoken to a shout of "I cant believe he shat EVERYWHERE" - thats an amusing tale.

Best i've heard is one of me m8's who pissed on one of the girls....

But do tell...

Agent Smith

like this one time, at band camp.....



































come on! it was waiting to be said

Kevin_rc_ie

wooh. crash shat himself and bobo pisses on girls. that's weird.

and cuckoo wants a baby. i want a baby too. let's have a baby.

Crash

Darth Bobo wrote:

Best i've heard is one of me m8's who pissed on one of the girls....

But do tell...

The story goes as follows (am only typing this up cus i dont want to go to bed)

at this party of a friend of mines, and this guy i vaguely know is there - getting hammered. has about a bottle of whiskey to himself (and i figure there was some sort of drug mixed into that lot too, no way he would've reacted like he did) and as i watch he runs out the front door, puking on the carpet just inside the door, and pukes and collapses on the ground.

so me being a good friend to the girl who's house it is says "look, dont worry, i'll clean it" and cleaned up the puke. then i got your man, got him over my shoulder and carried him up the stairs, as he hits his head off EVERY IMAGINABLE OBJECT. it was like watching someone drag a stick against railings.

Eventually, i get him up to the jacks, dump him in there, go back to my drink. i check in on him from time to time just cus i'm THAT nice. around 2am i'm feeling pretty knackered so myself and my ex steal the spare bedroom and crash out.

*3 HOURS PASS*

5am hits. i suddenly snap awake. theres commotion outside. i hear a shout of

"I CANT BELIEVE HE SHAT EVERYWHERE!"

at which stage i go "...i guess i should probably get up" - pull on trousers, leave the girl and head out into the hallway, where, through the open bathroom door, i see three of the girls cleaning **** off the toilet sink, the seat, the bathtub and the walls. it was, literally, EVERYWHERE.

so i go and ask them wtf happened and they said they found your man still passed out on the floor in a room full of **** and got him in the taxi. i'm like "wtf" and ask them if they need a hand. so i'm cleaning with a mop when someone goes to flush the toilet and notices that its beginning to overflow thanks to all the toilet tissue that'd been used.

at which point i go "**** we need to unblock that" and ask for the gloves. take one look at the gloves. the gloves are ****ty both inside and out, GOD ****ING KNOWS HOW. so theres only one choice.

I grit my teeth, reach my hand into the jacks while averting my eyes, wrap my fist around a wad of toilet tissue which has just been used to clean **** off walls and everything and drag it out and dump it into a bag. repeat this process three times.

I then promptly went and bleached my hand three or four times, and went and chain smoked 4 cigarettes.

The funniest part of this story comes when i discover that the guy who'd shat everywhere had been ferried out into a taxi at around 4:45am. Now this guy had long hair - with the result that he went to the taxi with DANGLEBERRIES in it.

ah fun times

Kevin_rc_ie

ehh. yuck.

cuckoo

I can't believe the taxi driver took him.

I also can't believe crash's actions - man, i salute you.

Pet

I'm gonna tell that story to my grandkids, and ensure the family tradition of mental disturbance is continued.

Nietzschean

Kevin_rc_ie wrote:

bobo pisses on girls.

Wasn't me, if ur in the maths dept ask one of the 3rd year maths/tp's people about polly pissy pants...

Agent Smith

legend.....



reminds me of myself one night, turned up at a 18th, drank 7 cans of bravaria, a naggin of vodka, and proceeded to throw up when the cake arraived....




ahh good times