Dont know what to do?

Guest12

Hi All, this is my first post here. Dont know where to start.Anyway, this fella asked me out b 4 xmas 2005.Unfortunately, his mother died that following week and we never got to go out. Bumped in to him out a few times after that and always spoke to each other. One weekend in May of this year, we got chatting again and he said he didnt want a relationship, i said that was ok. He paid for the taxi home from the club, I was just in bed then when he rang and asked to come round for a coffee as he didnt want to leave things that way. He called and we had a cup of coffee and I told him not worry that i understood and that we would still speak when we saw each other. What confuses me is why did it bother him so much to ring me, its just that I do really like him alot.
since that we have always said hello to each other when we`ve met, anyway last weekend i was sitting own and he came over to me and sais he really liked me and had good time for me. He sat down anyway and we began chatting, my sister then came over and laid into him telling him to grow up and to act his age ( i know she didnt want me to get messed around or get hurt as she knows how much i like him) but i do think it was none of her business. He was very complimentary all nite and at the end of the nite as we left with the crowd we got seperated but he did come over to me and said he`d talk to me again. Anyway, i usually always meet him on the road everyday coming and ging to work but so far this week i havent.
i`m just feeling now that either i have blown it with hin because of my sister or that he`s just avoiding me. Have been tempted to text him but now thats its Thursday dont know whiether its too late to so? I am away this weekend so wont get the chance to speak to him on Saturday nite.We are both in our thirties. Any advice, Please......Sorry for the long post.

smk135

why are you even thinking bout it? text him and tell him you hope he wasnt offended/pissed off by ur sister. its what youre thinking so just bloody text it!

Zulu

Guest12 wrote:

We are both in our thirties. Any advice ...

I think you know already in your heart. If he was that interested, you'd be together.

Guest12

Hi Zulu, i know what you`re saying but i didnt want to push it after his mother died. Previous to this he had just come out of a four year relationship so i guess i wanted to give him time and space. i know everybody usually goes through similiar situations, but last saturday nite was really the first time that he tried to closer. Maybe i`m reading too much into it, but wonder if a text would do any harm because of the way my sister was with him?

BoozyBabe

No, a text wouldn't do any harm.
You're both grown adults, I thought your post was from a 16 year old until I read the last line, no offence.

Text him just like the poster above said, & take it from there.
Invite him round for a coffee or whatever & just find out exactly where you stand.
What have you got to lose?

Ickle Magoo

Why not just call him & say "I wanted to appologise for the way my sister acted...." and see where that leads you? Texts can go awol, be accidentally deleted, misconstrued - if it's something important you want to say, then use the telephone or say it face-to-face....hth

Zulu

Guest12 wrote:

Hi Zulu, i know what you`re saying but i didnt want to push it after his mother died.... ....but wonder if a text would do any harm because of the way my sister was with him?

A text would do no harm. You have nothing to loose. I think you might be using the mothers death as a bit of an excuse. Sure he wouldn't be ready to go on a date right away, but Jan. Feb. March. April. May. and then when you did hook up, he said he "wasn't looking for a relationship".

I'm sorry to be negative here, but if I liked someone I wouldn't utter a peep about "not looking for a relationship" or the like, I'd just be chuffed to have scored someone I like. That being said everyone is different and people sometimes say stupid things they don't mean. Only you really know. Follow your heart and if you get hurt - boo hoo - at least you were honest to yourself. Good luck.

ircoha

Ickle Magoo wrote:

Why not just call him & say "I wanted to appologise for the way my sister acted...." and see where that leads you? Texts can go awol, be accidentally deleted, misconstrued - if it's something important you want to say, then use the telephone or say it face-to-face....hth

Ditto: Call him before u go away for weekend

Guest12

Thanks everyone for your replies. I know it may sound silly at my age asking for advice but i have been hurt so much in the past as i kow alot of people my age have probably been.I`m not trying to use excuses but Its just that this has been going on for so long and that i do like him alot and feel so bad for what my sister said to him.
What i was wondering was if it was too late too text as it is now thursday? or should i have done so last sunday? i guess i`m afraid of not getting a reply, sounds stupid i know.

BoozyBabe

It's never too late!! Just go for it.

I waited 4 years before telling my now bf my feelings (after a lot of stuff had happened between us years earlier).
We're now going out 10 months, & we've never been happier.

If I'd have thought it was too late to tell him, I wouldn't be in this wonderful situation right now.

Just go for it.
If he says he's not interested, then you won't have him. big deal, you don't have him as it is anyway, so you lose nothing, on the other hand, he might be interested.......

Black Swan

Text him. Maybe go for a lunch together?

LegacyUser

Text him or phone him.
Ask him for a coffee.
Maybe he is slow because he doesn't
want to lose face.

And tell your sister to buzz off !