Girlfriend scaring me!

LegacyUser

Hi, going unregged as its too personal!

Heres the story. My girlfriend and I had unprotected sex for a few months while she was on the pill. Fine.Then she came off the pill and claimed the pill lasts a few moths after so we kept going 2 months after aswell. Luckily she didnt get pregnant. Then I wised up (finally!)and said fook this I'm gonna start pulling out when cumming. So I have been doing that for the last 2 months and everytime I do it she gives out to me and gets in a mood, as well as doing her best to make me leave it in before pulling out.
Anyway, yesterday we were doing it and during sex she was ruining it saying about how I can leave it in cos she's due her period and theres no egg and blah, I wasnt really listening as I was in sex mode. So what did I do yes I left it in. Now the scare, she went back on her words about being due her period, and told me that as she didnt get preggers when we did it for 2 months after she came off the pill, she doesnt see how she will now. Am I hooked up with a total bunny boiler?!!!! Whats she doing!!

Nevyn

Missing or forgetting to take the pill can end up with a woman getting pregnant never mind not being on it in the first place.
In some cases it can take a while for a womans fertilty to return after being on the pill but it is rare and can't be betted on.
Even if you are pulling out there is sperm in precum and that can be enough to get her pregnant.

If you don't want to be a father at this stage in you life use a condom or refuse to have sex with her until you have as a couple sorted out contraception.

Sounds to me she is either grossly misinformed about her body and how the pill works or she is trying to get pregnant.

http://thinkcontraception.ie/

LegacyUser

Double bag it next time mate!

Cianos

Thaedydal wrote:

Sounds to me she is either grossly misinformed about her body and how the pill works or she is trying to get pregnant.

^^^

Hippo

Thaedydal wrote:

Missing or forgetting to take the pill can end up with a woman getting pregnant never mind not being on it in the first place.
In some cases it can take a while for a womans fertilty to return after being on the pill but it is rare and can't be betted on.
Even if you are pulling out there is sperm in precum and that can be enough to get her pregnant.

If you don't want to be a father at this stage in you life use a condom or refust to have sex with her until you have as a couple sorted out contraception.

Sounds to me she is either grossly misinformed about her body and how the pill works or she is trying to get pregnant.

I second all of this. Sort it out now or you'll be a dad in no time!

BoozyBabe

Yes, as Thaedydal said.

Jeez, though unlikely, it's even possible for a girl to get pregnant without having sex.
I.E. your erect penis rubbing around her genitals. Precum on your penis could in fact get her pregnant.
People get pregnant all the time from forgetting to take the pill for a day, taking the pill at different times of the day, being ill while taking the pill perfectly etc, so for a girl to try & convince you that she's NOT going to get pregnant while you use NO pretection at all is ludicrous.

Do not listen to another word that comes out of her mouth.

It does sound like she's trying to trick you into getting her pregnant.

Like was said, if you don't want to become a daddy, then insist you use protection, & if it's condoms you decide on using, make sure you put it on. By the sounds of her, she'd rip it on purpose!!!!!

Donegal Lass

ditto!!!

plus you should know that just because you pull out before you actually come, really doesnt mean you cant get pregnant! :eek: there is a small amount of semen released at times when you get an erection! so definately be careful there!! its things like this that catch people out!!

As Thaedydal said- refuse sex until you have sorted out a method of contraception! If you dont, by the sounds of this girl, you could be pregnant before Christmas!

LegacyUser

OP sounds "grossly misinformed" too if he sees pulling out as a solution.

Its not like pregnancy is something trivial - Guys really need to be clued in about the reliability and workings of femalve contraceptive methods. It shouldn't just be up to the girl. Having "a rough idea" isn't enough - you need to be 100% certain about these things.

... and that's not to even begin on the fact that while female contraceptive devices may prevent pregnancy they don't protect against STD's.

takola

Does sound to me like she's intent on getting pregnant to be honest. If she was on the pill then it's likely the doc went through it with her, She has to know that the pill won't last when she comes of it! :eek: God, You forget to take it for one day and you've got to use extra protection for the next 7!

Has she mentioned that she wants kids with you at all? What age are you? I think you need to get yourself informed too though, You seem to be confused about it! Maybe you could have a chat with someone who could explain it all to you so you'll know what you can and can't do when it comes to sex.

I agree with Thaed though, Refuse to have sex until you've sorted it out. I would also advise that you use condoms if you really don't want to end up pregnant. The pill is not 100% protection, especially if not taken properly!

LadyJ

Be the responsible adult here.

Use protection. Your girlfriend obviously doesn't have the slightest clue what she's talking about and if she's bullsh!tting you just so as she can get pregnant then that's really really unfair.

Explain to her that you've researched the matter and she is wrong so you think condoms are the way forward. If she disputes this then you'll have to ask her is there any particular reason she's trying to get pregnant. Talk to her about it. Maybe she's doubting your devotion to her,as it were.

Marksie

freeeekin0ut wrote:

Whats she doing!!

Trying to get pregnant
.......and relying on your lack of knowledge and the fact that you want unprotected sex.

Wise up i am afraid... unless you want to be a father, use condoms.

Talking to her might be useful.

Ruu_Old

I think you both need some information on pregnancy and sexual issues. As Thaedydal mentioned it is possible to get pregnant even when you withdraw before you cum. Use protection and get clued in, its the only way.

metrovelvet

Wake up. She wants to get pregnant.

miles teg

You should really know better about how easy it is to get pregnant.

It sounds to me like your girlfriend is deliberately trying to get pregnant (I've known a few who've done that). If this is true and you're determined to stay with her, you might consider going on the male pill and not tell her about it. Considering it looks like she's not being honest with you, why should you be honest with her? Plus it might be funny to see her get frustrated after months of supposedly unprotected sex and she's still not pregnant. It's soap opera gold I tell thee

Kinetic^

Run for the hills dude!!!! :eek:

Your missus seems pretty set on having a kid, nice of her to take your wishes into consideration :rolleyes:

Get her to take a pregnancy test and if it's all clear, then get the first ticket out of psychoville.

Umaro

Eh, I hate to go all Columbo on this - but if she really wanted to get pregnant then surely she would've stopped taking the pill and just not told him about it.

ircoha

IMO, based on your post, You are being set up for being a daddy.

Get a grip here and learn about the facts of life.

You cannot blame her 100% if she gets pregnant, you are being irresponsible.

If she gets her next period consider yourself lucky.

I wondered about the BB description

A Bunny Boiler is a pejorative term for an obsessive and dangerous female, sometimes stalking a lover who has spurned her.

Another one
Plan A: The ultimate goal of a bunny boiler is to fix her mark's life by interfering and/or setting him up and blackmailing him in an effort to force him into a horrible relationship that was never meant to be. The bunny boiler's goal is almost certainly a recipe for disaster and a fate worse than death itself. When the plan begins to fail the bunny boiler then resorts to plan B: destruction.

You are right.

Sleepy

I think you need to ditch your girlfriend. Despicable behaviour.

Miguel_Sanchez

Why the hell aren't you using condoms?

It's incredibly stupid behaviour on both your parts.

But, yeah, she sounds a bit crazy - or stupid - or both.

Evil Phil

Umaro wrote:

Eh, I hate to go all Columbo on this - but if she really wanted to get pregnant then surely she would've stopped taking the pill and just not told him about it.

What he said. I think Thaed et all are right - she's misinformed and hence so are you. Actually it sounds like neither of you are any kind of informed at all. Use a condom (don't double bag - causes a greater risk of a tear) and educate yourselves.

seamus

Yeah, she's trying to get pregnant, whether you want to or not. Some women have this *thing* which pretty much makes them do anything whatsoever to get pregnant. She may have told you about coming off the pill so as it didn't appear that she was totally lying and could feign ignorance. Confront her on it. If she lies, dump her.

As a matter of interest, how long are you going out?

A friend of mine found himself in a similar situation. The 18 year old girlfriend (he was 19) was insistent on him not using condoms, and he resisted most of the time. Eventually she told him, "If you don't give me a baby, I'll find someone who will". They were only going out six months, so he was still all gooey-eyed, and for some reason obliged and 9 months later, out popped a child. Three months after that, they broke up anyway, but she got the council house she'd been looking for :rolleyes:

So, I know I'd run, but tis up to you.

Asok

Run....Run as fast as you can man!

LundiMardi

Sweet Jesus some people are just clueless about these things.

Nickibaby*

Wear A Condom!!!!!!!!

Chucky the tree

If the OP and his girlfirend are this clueless, i'd hate to see how stupid the kid would turn out(if there is one) :rolleyes:

smallpaws

For the love of God, stop having sex with her, she wants to get pregnant.

red_bairn

Give her a slap across the face! and tell her to wise up.
Don't mess around like that. If she doesnt come to sense-leave her.

Gordon

Helpful advice please folks. And less of the slapping across the face yeah?

embee

It sounds very much to me like she's trying to get pregnant.

Now, some people have said that, surely if she was trying to get pregnant, she'd stop taking her pill altogether and not tell you. Not necessarily true. She could stop taking her pill altogether, get pregnant, and just blatantly lie to you and say she'd been taking it properly and it hadn't worked. She's already lied to you about when her period was due.. who's to say she wouldn't lie about that?

Anyways, you should talk to her. Say in no uncertain terms "Either we both get serious about contraception, or no sex at all." You should always, ALWAYS be using condoms, as the pill will not protect against STI's (monogamous relationship or not, condoms should ALWAYS be worn imo, unless you are actively trying for a baby). No form of contraception is 100% reliable, so either ye both wise up, or stop having sex.

To put it to you in real terms, I have a six and a half month old daughter now due to contraception failing and/or not being used correctly.

FuzzyWuzzyWazza

RUN man!!!! .......... run for the hills, and what ever you do don't look back!!!!!

LegacyUser

FFS .. what age are you??

LegacyUser

Thanks for all the posts. Much appreciated. Brought her out tonight for dinner. Was going grand and then I got serious and told her how I felt about it. Her mood changed fast. She said she was due her period and agreed having a kid wouldnt suit either of us, and then told me she didnt want to talk about it. I tried to talk more but she told me to shut up and got moody.
That kinda tainted the night...then I tried to drive her home but she insisted we go at it in the back seat. So despite my best efforts we went at it again. Pulled out this time, and she seemed fine about it.Hopefully she's got her head sorted out cos I like her.
To clarify. She told me she went off the pill because the side effects were too much. She is 23, I am 29. We've tried condoms and to be honest I'd prefer not to have sex than wear one. They completely reduce sensitivity to a minimum, and my testes feel sore after ejaculation. The male pill may be an option although I'm not sure I want to mess around with my sperm.

Nevyn

The both of you shoudl make an appoint ment with her dr or with the ifpa and go in and talk about contraception options there is more them the pill out there either that or buy a pram.

the_syco

freeeked0utt wrote:

Pulled out this time, and she seemed fine about it.

Congratulations on the kid. Hope you enjoy being a daddy. "Pulling out" is nearly as funny as "you don't get preggers if you do it whilst standing up". Ie: Its just another myth.

freeeked0utt wrote:

They completely reduce sensitivity to a minimum, and my testes feel sore after ejaculation.

Either a)get thinner condoms b)get advice from a doctor: it may be a sympton of a larger problem or c)buy baby toys.

bandraoi

the_syco wrote:

Congratulations on the kid. Hope you enjoy being a daddy. "Pulling out" is nearly as funny as "you don't get preggers if you do it whilst standing up". Ie: Its just another myth.

It's not actually.
It's not a good method of contraception to use by choice like the OP is doing, but it does greatly reduce your chances of getting pregnant. If you are going to have unprotected sex, it is far better to use the withdrawal method then to use nothing at all.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Withdrawal_method

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/birth-control-pregnancy/birth-control/withdrawal.htm
The 27 in 100 is a far better figure than the 80-90 in a hundred without withdrawal.
With perfect use 4 in 100 is better still, course it's impossible to use it properly.

MojoMaker

freeeked0utt wrote:

she told me to shut up and got moody....That kinda tainted the night...then I tried to drive her home but she insisted we go at it in the back seat.

What kind of woman is this

She's upset, clearly annoyed, and yet the first thing on her mind is to have sex as soon as possible after, and in the cramped environment of a car? Dude, this girl desparately wants to prove a point. I wouldn't be hanging around too long if I were you...it's only a matter of time, and if it ain't you it could be someone else, and hey presto another major lie along the lines of "of course it's yours honey" is born (no pun intended).

tonyboy247

yeah the bunnys in the pot alright you need to get your trollys up and break out of the traps rapid.

missmatty

I'm just amazed she's not pregnant already!

You're some eejit anyhow! If you don't stop this carry-on with pulling out you'll be a dad faster than you can say 'sprog'.
The other issue is the long-term outlook for this relationship where she lies to you, manipulates you, and tells you to shut up when you are trying to have a mature conversation with her about something this important! This is not the way most girls carry on and she is 23 not 17. You should have more sense, she is manipulating you for her own (unknown) ends and it will end in tears by the sounds of it...

This is

thats a dangerous game my friend! id go for the senitive condoms c how they work out otherwise ur mad especially if u cudnt deal wit a kid!

bug

tell her to go to her GP and speak to him/her about the fact that the pill isnt suiting her, in fact, fuk it, demand that she does! Its your life too!

There is, for example (one of many by the way), a new "ring" that can be inserted into the vagina and emits hormones locally, rather than directly into the blood stream. Apparently it suits some people that have issues with accepting hormones directly into the bloodstream.

To be honest, if you cant talk to her about contraception and she glums up like that, I'd hate to see her trying to deal with other issues in your relationship.

In all honesty she'd do my head in.
Tell her to go and get informed, and while your at it, get yourself some info too.
Be direct and dont take the silent moody s**te, its as immature as she seems to be.

LegacyUser

Kenny 5 wrote:

Run for the hills dude!!!! :eek:

Your missus seems pretty set on having a kid, nice of her to take your wishes into consideration :rolleyes:

Get her to take a pregnancy test and if it's all clear, then get the first ticket out of psychoville.

You are a legend!
15 posts down before anybody said it as it should be.
You stole my post.


OP - Run for the hills. Pack you bags and leave town....she is a fruit and nut case

LegacyUser

Did you ever consider the possibility that your girlfriend might be already pregnant and is having unprotected sex with you so she can say that you are the father (whether you are or not)? If she does get pregnant, it's just as much your responsibility as hers & if you walk away that makes you the ultimate coward....

twanda

OP how many times do you have to be told that 'pulling out' is not safe?
Are you actually willing to take any of the good advice you have been given onboard, or will you continue to do the 'convenient' thing?
It looks like your girlfriend getting pregnant is the only way you're going to learn.





As the saying goes - you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped.

pablo21

GrrrArgh wrote:

Did you ever consider the possibility that your girlfriend might be already pregnant and is having unprotected sex with you so she can say that you are the father (whether you are or not)? If she does get pregnant, it's just as much your responsibility as hers & if you walk away that makes you the ultimate coward....

This sounds like the most likely scenario my friend! I've been that soldier and its not a nice scenario.
Even if your lucky and this isnt the case....
Flippant decisions you are making now will have unbelievable repercussions on the rest of your life! Things that haven't even crossed your mind yet. If she has her next period count your blessings and get the hell out of there!! Take a fools advice.

Darragh29

BoozyBabe wrote:

Yes, as Thaedydal said.

Jeez, though unlikely, it's even possible for a girl to get pregnant without having sex.
I.E. your erect penis rubbing around her genitals. Precum on your penis could in fact get her pregnant.
People get pregnant all the time from forgetting to take the pill for a day, taking the pill at different times of the day, being ill while taking the pill perfectly etc, so for a girl to try & convince you that she's NOT going to get pregnant while you use NO pretection at all is ludicrous.

Do not listen to another word that comes out of her mouth.

It does sound like she's trying to trick you into getting her pregnant.

Like was said, if you don't want to become a daddy, then insist you use protection, & if it's condoms you decide on using, make sure you put it on. By the sounds of her, she'd rip it on purpose!!!!!

I'm seriously surprised she is not pregnant already. Doesn't sound like a kind of honeytrap situation on the face of it because if she was just mad to get pregnant, she would probably just say she is on the pill (but not actually be on it at all), let the two of you go at it as is happening here, she gets pregnant and when you guys sit down to figure out how it happened, she'd just have you thinking that you two were the 1% time it didn't work...

This makes me think she has just picked up some seriously stupid urban myths somewhere along the line. TBH, you're mad to be running with any of this, if she isn't going to be responsible, you have to be, unless the two of you actually want to have a baby! You need to tell her there's a new game in town and insist on using condoms everytime you go at it, (and check them for damage afterwards!)...

BC

freeeked0utt wrote:

That kinda tainted the night...then I tried to drive her home but she insisted we go at it in the back seat. So despite my best efforts we went at it again. Pulled out this time, and she seemed fine about it.Hopefully she's got her head sorted out cos I like her.

"Despite your best efforts"?? You're 29 in fairness, grow up. If you don't want a child then stop having unprotected sex with your girlfriend. How is she going to take your talks about contraception seriously when clearly you don't really care as you are still having unprotected sex??

dudara

You had unprotected sex in the back of the car straight after this big dicussion! It strikes me that this woman is trying to manipulate you to her own ends. She is trying to exert her control over you.


If she did indeed come off the pill because it didn't suit her, then she should go to the doctor and investigate other brands of pills, or indeed, other forms of contraception.

She sounds like a person I would not care to know.

Marksie

dudara wrote:

She sounds like a person I would not care to know.

The OP is 29, he just had a discussion over contraception. Had sex with her in the car. Knowing what has been said on here he still had unprotected sex and withdrew... because condoms dont give sensitivity.
What was the point of him posting TBH???
That post indicates a selfish attitude, thinking of short term pleasure for himself rather than long term ramifications.

I would extend your statement to the OP.

LegacyUser

Thanks again for the replies. I will admit that I am only male. When my girlfriend starts arousing me its very difficult to say no to some fun. She claimed the other day though that sex is such a huge part of our relationship that if we were to stop it would hurt us. No doubt in my mind that our relationship is disfunctional, there are huge issues of trust on both sides, although I think deep down I've got huge paranoia problems. Her last boyfriend cheated on her so she struggles aswell. She goes through my text messages routinely and the questions are sometimes unbearable. When I meet her we dont take long to get lustful of eachother, its amazing I dont think we really 'chat'. Were going out nearly a year. We have alot of private jokes, and our own little language. At times I am really happy with her, but I know the relationship is f)ucked up. I think the main reasons I havent broken up with her yet is because 1)I cant bear the thought of breaking her heart. 2)I cant bear the thought of another man being inside her 3)I am scared I wont ever get over her and will be torn in two knowing that shes out having sex with another man, and possibly just for the sake of it, or to get back at me.4)In the time we break up and possibly get back together, she'll have sex with another fella. By the way she is always assuring me that she would never cheat and is entirely inlove with me.
My head is completely wrecked over this! I am seriously considering seeing a tarot reader for some guidance. Whats the story with the waves of mood change!!!A second ago I was all for breaking up with her, then now I feel lovvy towards her...AAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!

supergirl2

Umaro wrote:

Eh, I hate to go all Columbo on this - but if she really wanted to get pregnant then surely she would've stopped taking the pill and just not told him about it.

Mayb she wants it to be a "joint" decision or "their" fault rather than hers, by her saying it "should be safe" and for him to make the decision to cum inside her or not means he's up for the outcome, all in physo world of course!!
Don't think i could trust her to take the pill again.... Mayb that's her plan B?
Mayb she hates the feel of condoms but still it is no excuse....

supergirl2

freeeeked ouut wrote:

Thanks again for the replies. I will admit that I am only male. When my girlfriend starts arousing me its very difficult to say no to some fun. She claimed the other day though that sex is such a huge part of our relationship that if we were to stop it would hurt us. No doubt in my mind that our relationship is disfunctional, there are huge issues of trust on both sides, although I think deep down I've got huge paranoia problems. Her last boyfriend cheated on her so she struggles aswell. She goes through my text messages routinely and the questions are sometimes unbearable. When I meet her we dont take long to get lustful of eachother, its amazing I dont think we really 'chat'. Were going out nearly a year. We have alot of private jokes, and our own little language. At times I am really happy with her, but I know the relationship is f)ucked up. I think the main reasons I havent broken up with her yet is because 1)I cant bear the thought of breaking her heart. 2)I cant bear the thought of another man being inside her 3)I am scared I wont ever get over her and will be torn in two knowing that shes out having sex with another man, and possibly just for the sake of it, or to get back at me.4)In the time we break up and possibly get back together, she'll have sex with another fella. By the way she is always assuring me that she would never cheat and is entirely inlove with me.
My head is completely wrecked over this! I am seriously considering seeing a tarot reader for some guidance. Whats the story with the waves of mood change!!!A second ago I was all for breaking up with her, then now I feel lovvy towards her...AAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!

Sounds like you love her alot, i think she is prob as scared as you are of not being together and maybe this is the reason for the cum test above and the head wrecking questions that you mentioned. All i'd be afraid of is that it's a destructive love on her behalf. Please do not get a Tarrot reading, decide youself - gut feeling and all that jazz. Tarrot readings only **** you up, you will always remember their predictions and it does influence your decisions.
Good luck!!