Girlfriend scaring me!

Crea

bug wrote:

tell her to go to her GP and speak to him/her about the fact that the pill isnt suiting her, in fact, fuk it, demand that she does! Its your life too!

There is, for example (one of many by the way), a new "ring" that can be inserted into the vagina and emits hormones locally, rather than directly into the blood stream. Apparently it suits some people that have issues with accepting hormones directly into the bloodstream.

To be honest, if you cant talk to her about contraception and she glums up like that, I'd hate to see her trying to deal with other issues in your relationship.

In all honesty she'd do my head in.
Tell her to go and get informed, and while your at it, get yourself some info too.
Be direct and dont take the silent moody s**te, its as immature as she seems to be.

It doesn't sound like this girl can be relied on with any contraceptive. She does seem to be intent on risking getting pregnant despite what she says. She is testing OP to see if he's serious enough about her to take these kind of risks. She probably wants some kind of commitment given her insecurities and getting pregnant takes the decision out of both of their hands. The "if it's meant to be then i'll get pregnant and we'll stay together forever".
OP -get real. You have to take responsibility for contraception. Everyone here has told you the withdrawing is balls so if she does get pregnant you can't go around suggesting she trapped you. You are both responsible for these risks now.

Zombrex

freeeked0utt wrote:

Hopefully she's got her head sorted out cos I like her.
...
We've tried condoms and to be honest I'd prefer not to have sex than wear one. They completely reduce sensitivity to a minimum, and my testes feel sore after ejaculation. The male pill may be an option although I'm not sure I want to mess around with my sperm.

It seems your girlfriend knows a bit more about sex than you do I'm afraid

Pulling out before ejactulating is not going to stop you too becoming pregnent. A couple of centuries of Catholic Irish children is evidence of that fact :rolleyes:

Your girlfriend most likely is aware of this (as I though everyone was) and is prefectly happy for you do keep doing what you are doing, as she knows sooner rather than later you are going to get pregnent.

If you don't want a kid wear a condom. Moaning that it reduces sensitivity is rather pointless, the sperm isn't going to care. Its not going to go "umm, well this guy doesn't like condoms so I better not fertalise this egg"

If you are having problems with condoms try something like Durex Featherline or one of the other ones that offers increased feeling. After using Durex Extra Safe for a while I moved to feather line and I must say it was a world of difference.

And seriously mate, read up a bit on sex, period cycles and pregnancy. Your girlfriend is either ill-informed or is manipulating you. You want to educate yourself to the risks of pregnancy, not go on the word of your girlfriend who might even be trying to trick you.

LegacyUser

Stop having unprotected sex for God's sake!
You say she is insecure in her relationship with you, has it crossed your mind that what the previous posters are saying is true, perhaps she wants to get pregnant to trap you??

Withdrawl method is unreliable...
With a previous b/f I was very silly and careless and this was the method we used, I am now the proud mother of a 3 year old.
Do you want to be a Daddy??

Tell your g/f to go to her GP or family planning centre for info on contraception.
There are many different types of contraceptive pill, and I'm sure there's bound to be one that's suitable for her.
There are also plenty of different condoms out there for yourself to use...

Always remember this:
"A condom is easier to put on than a nappy"

BC

freeeeked ouut wrote:

Thanks again for the replies. I will admit that I am only male. When my girlfriend starts arousing me its very difficult to say no to some fun. She claimed the other day though that sex is such a huge part of our relationship that if we were to stop it would hurt us. No doubt in my mind that our relationship is disfunctional, there are huge issues of trust on both sides, although I think deep down I've got huge paranoia problems. Her last boyfriend cheated on her so she struggles aswell. She goes through my text messages routinely and the questions are sometimes unbearable. When I meet her we dont take long to get lustful of eachother, its amazing I dont think we really 'chat'. Were going out nearly a year. We have alot of private jokes, and our own little language. At times I am really happy with her, but I know the relationship is f)ucked up. I think the main reasons I havent broken up with her yet is because 1)I cant bear the thought of breaking her heart. 2)I cant bear the thought of another man being inside her 3)I am scared I wont ever get over her and will be torn in two knowing that shes out having sex with another man, and possibly just for the sake of it, or to get back at me.4)In the time we break up and possibly get back together, she'll have sex with another fella. By the way she is always assuring me that she would never cheat and is entirely inlove with me.
My head is completely wrecked over this! I am seriously considering seeing a tarot reader for some guidance. Whats the story with the waves of mood change!!!A second ago I was all for breaking up with her, then now I feel lovvy towards her...AAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!

To be honest it sounds like your relationship is about sex and nothing else. All four of your reasons for not breaking up with her are sex related. While its obviously a big part of any relationship it shouldn't be the only thing keeping you together. If you broke up would you miss spending time with her or talking to her?

The whole fact that you both think your relationship would fall apart without the sex is very worrying and definately not an environment to bring up a child in. What happens if one of you has to go away for a few months for some reason?

Stop having unprotected sex, decide what you really want from the relationship and make a decision yourself! Dont be relying on tarot readers who know nothing about either of you.

Talliesin

If we take "bunny boiler" in its general usage, I would have to answer your question by saying she's not - the term is too sexist to mean anything real.

If we remove the sexist bias of the term "bunny boiler" and make it a term we could apply to both men and women, I'd have to say that yes, your girlfriend is a bunny boiler. You are also a bunny boiler. You're staying in a situation you think yourself is seriously dysfunctional because you're afraid that she'd have sex with someone else. That's pretty much "bunny boiler" stuff.

Sorry, it's one thing when someone is worrying that their partner may have other lovers - it's another thing when you're worrying that your hypothetical ex-partner having already accepted that you'd be better off not with her might have other lovers.

Your technical knowledge of sex and contraception is of a type that scares the crap out of me to hear from 15 year olds. Your "logic" about why you are staying with her is making me think about what alcohol might be around here, because I need a drink after reading that.

I think you might be well advised to give your whole notion of where you are with her, why you're there, and how long you're going to stay there serious re-consideration, preferably with the help of a professional (not a professional Tarot reader, quite a good few frriends of mine are Tarot readers and I won't disparage what they can do, but I think that's not quite the ideal tact here).

CathyMoran

You need to get away from this girl - she obviously wants a baby and will do anything she can to have one. My partner and I are having unprotected sex at the moment, but then again we are trying for a baby, you should not do it otherwise.

ircoha

Just looking at this post. the following thought struck me:

In PI u can post un-regged, what is to stop someone posing as the original un regged OP with the second and subsequent posts, and trolling the rest of us?

Just a thought.

LegacyUser

I did it I left her. Took me too long to realise she is after a baby after all and was not being honest to me. I'll miss the sex, god will I miss the sex but it's time to get with someone who isn't so freeky. Thanks all for advice.

Gordon

Congrats OP.

ircoha: we can compare posts via a blind IP matching tool. And Bru and myself can check the actual IP addresses to confirm. It doesn't usually happen and I reckon when/if it does the posters here will sniff out the trolls.

ircoha

Gordon wrote:

ircoha: we can compare posts via a blind IP matching tool. And Bru and myself can check the actual IP addresses to confirm. It doesn't usually happen and I reckon when/if it does the posters here will sniff out the trolls.

Thanks Gordon, I figured the IP address but a cafe would evade that check.
Thanks again

ircoha

freeeekin0ut wrote:

I did it I left her. Took me too long to realise she is after a baby after all and was not being honest to me. I'll miss the sex, god will I miss the sex but it's time to get with someone who isn't so freeky. Thanks all for advice.

We hope u take the advice about having uprotected sex.

I note that u complain that the liathroidi are sore if u use a condom, am just wondering how much of the hardware do you actually put into the condom:) .

Get it checked out if they are sore.

LegacyUser

Thanks again for all the input, Ive been really trying on this and have started using condoms. Its not great but better than nothing. She has accepted the fact aswell and after all this discussion I find myself making more of an effort to talk with her and make more jokes etc. Although my mind still isnt made up, the sex thing has been curbed at least and maybe the relationship will bloom elsewhere now aswell. Thanks again for the therapy!


PS. To the f-ucking asshole that posted as 'freeeekin0ut' last time, not pointing any fingers, but thanks for ruining the thread.