Best mate's sister...

LegacyUser

So, got my self into quite the mess last nite. Ended up going with me best mates sister on his birthday nite, he saw went mental and stormed off. Later sent me a bit of a savage txt you can guess what it said. Havn't been speaking to himsince. What i did was it wrong? Or has he overreacted? Best bit is we are going to be living together in college next year! But i'd really like to patch things up with him cus he a good mate.

oulu

|__|__|__ wrote:

So, got my self into quite the mess last nite. Ended up going with me best mates sister on his birthday nite, he saw went mental and stormed off. Later sent me a bit of a savage txt you can guess what it said. Havn't been speaking to himsince. What i did was it wrong? Or has he overreacted? Best bit is we are going to be living together in college next year! But i'd really like to patch things up with him cus he a good mate.

Do you like his sis? if so tell him to grow up, if you are not interested in her tell him to grow up

Ruu_Old

He is probably just defensive of her and some people believe there is such a rule like no going with your best mates sister. Sit him down and tell him your intentions are good, that you will look after her, thats if you are serious or was it just a once off thing?

The Bollox

I fully abide by the 'don't date your mates sis' so I can deffo see what he is coming from. if you really do love her, you should explain this to your friend. if it was just a fling, I would advise you give him some time as you have no need to speed up his approval

fillmore jive

what exactly did your best mate catch the two of yous's doing? if you were kissing her, i'd say he'll get over it, but if you were lashing her out of it, you can understand why he's so pissed off. all three of you's should sit down and sort it out. soon. then you'll know if she's worth it and, most importantly, how much of good friends yourself and your mate actually are.

Trinity

well how old is she and how old are you.

I am sure he is just looking out for his sisters best interests. Perhaps he thinks you are just using her.

Hes your best friend, he knows you, you prob talk about girls you dated/shagged whatever you may get up to!! (not saying you do i dont know you) but i'm sure he knows you quite well.

i'm sure he just doesnt want his sister to get hurt if you are not serious about her. Your going off to college etc i am sure he thinks you have no intention of getting serious with anyone.

just talk to him and say you were drunk, it wont happen again. Unless of course you really like her and wish to persue a relationship with her then thats a different chat.

ircoha

|__|__|__ wrote:

So, got my self into quite the mess last nite. Ended up going with me best mates sister on his birthday nite, he saw went mental and stormed off. Later sent me a bit of a savage txt you can guess what it said. Havn't been speaking to himsince. What i did was it wrong? Or has he overreacted? Best bit is we are going to be living together in college next year!< who, u and the chick or u and ur best mate?> But i'd really like to patch things up with him cus he a good mate.

Is the difference important to the advice being sought, perhaps not.

thehomeofDob

Meh... I'm goin out with a good mates sister, for the first few weeks he was annoyed about it, first time he saw me with her he nearly flipped his lid. He's gotten over it since, now that we're goin out over 3 months and he's copped I'm not goin out with her for a ride.
If it was a fling, then you've crossed that unwritten rule, but if your serious, let him do his thing, he'll get over it eventually.

embee

One of my best friends is going out with my sister. There was never, for a second, even the suggestion that he shouldn't. They're well suited, they're both happy with each other... whats your friends problem? Had ye some sort of unwritten, unspoken "code of honour" that sisters are out of bounds?

Frankly, I think thats the stuff of adolescence and your mate needs to cop himself on.

MrPillowTalk

I was in a similar situation once and it was a mess. In the end I decided falling out with a mate over something that could end up as nothing was way too much of a gamble and a bit of a liberty to be honest.

His problem was not so much that I would mess his sister around but more so he thought the dynamic between he and I would change and if we broke up it would be very awkward. He was completely right when I think about it now.

Id leave well alone.

Jules

all depends on your intentions! if they are honourable then you should be ok, if it was just a kiss and nothing after, and his sister is ok, well then he will get over it, but if things went futher and you are just dismissing her and she is pissed off, obviously she is gonna talk to him and tell him she is hurt, he is not gonna be a happy bunny, and well i wouldnt blame him! talk to her then talk to him, but just sort out where things are going!

nellieswellies

I'm with my mates sister five years and we have bought a house together, soon to be engaged, whilst my firendship with him is still important my relationship is more important.
As said above you need to think about your intentions, if they are genuine then you should not have much of a problem making a case to your firend if he is indeed a friend.

wyndham

He should be delighted, provided your intentions are honourable and you haven't got a bad rep.

layke

She ain't 16 or something that leaves a huge age gap?

padser

layke wrote:

She ain't 16 or something that leaves a huge age gap?

just wondering why you think 16 would leave an age gap? From the tone of his text I guess it looks like he is 25 or 26???

layke

Yup, just seen the wole 16 and 25 year old bloke thing before. Too many times tbh.

Dragan

|__|__|__ wrote:

What i did was it wrong? Or has he overreacted? Best bit is we are going to be living together in college next year! But i'd really like to patch things up with him cus he a good mate.

Think about it dude, you went off with his sister man. Do you even like her, or was it just because she was there and interested?

And remember, how many times have you dudes sat around talking about this and that, girls you were with, various escapades, various things you both wouldn't
Mind doing to that hot chick at the bar.

Think about THAT man. You really think he wants to think about his best mate, thinking about his sister than way?

LegacyUser

There is a 2 year age gap i'm 18 and she's 20. I'm going to be living with him next year. He was like a bull the whole of yesterday, but i got a txt from him today asking him to help him on his new laptop. (No mention of anything else) Hopefully he chills out a bit as the days go by. Don't know if i will pursue things further with his sister though as she also goes to the same college as us. Really nice girl like couldn't ask for much more but i don't know if it would be worth making life difficult for everybody.

Sarky

Marts wrote:

I fully abide by the 'don't date your mates sis' so I can deffo see what he is coming from.

Is it odd or unmanly of me that I have never, ever been able to see how a situation like this is a problem for anyone? I've certainly never had a problem with it, from either side of the fence. What precisely is the fuss all about?

Beruthiel

Sarky wrote:

What precisely is the fuss all about?

The fuss starts when one sibling has the mindframe of a teenage and hasn't acutally thought things through or copped onto the fact that quite frankly it's none of their busines what their brother/sister does with their lives.

Black Swan

A difficult situation. If you really fancy her and she you, then give your mate some space then talk with him, assuring him of your best intentions. But if this is just a fling, then drop her and repair the damage with your mate over time.

melekalikimaka

mneh i have mates whom are cool with that....personally if any of my friends touched my sister, i'd smash his fingers and toes with a hammer...but thats just me.

if he's like that you shouldn't have done it...time to beg for forgiveness