Used

TheminxIRL

How do you deal with someone who admits that nearly three years of your life have been wasted on them because they were only using you?

Shortened story, met man, man moved in, man paid nothing towards anything, man moves out, back in, out back in, along comes child (much loved) man moves in out still then admits he only ever moved back in to see child unlimited.

This man is a rat, I am feeling hurt at being used, stupid for not seeing through him and sad for my child having such a waster for a father.

There was a site mentioned in the papers recently where you can name and shame partners who treat you badly but I cant remember the website details.

Does anyone know?

Will this make me feel better knowing that I have exposed him for the rat he is?

Trinity

I dont think it will.

You may get temporary satisfaction but it wont take away the hurt and betrayal.

The only thing you can do now is walk away with dignity. Are you sure he didnt say these things to you in a temper?

It was 3 years of your life but something was gained, your much loved child.

There is not much anyone can say or do to make you feel better but if you do something rash when the real intense feelings of loss fade, you will also have feelings of regret. and you have enough to deal with now.

you shouldnt regret the last 3 years, it was him that messed you about you did nothing wrong. only trust the man you loved and gave him more chances than he deserved. That doesnt make you stupid.

he is the loser, he is the one that should be feeling bad.

Donegal Lass

http://www.dontdatehimgirl.com/home/

but i really doubt it will make you feel better tbh! its easier said than done but all you can do is try getting on with your life and dont get emotionally involved with him again! dont let hm move into your home and if he wants to see your child, make arrangements to suit you! If he is that bothered he'll work around them! Dont waste anymore time on this loser, and that includes spending time writing about him on the above site! good luck!

Ruu_Old

Cut ALL ties with this creep at once, as mentioned let him make arrangements to see the child but don't let that get out of hand. Good luck.

Beruthiel

TheminxIRL wrote:

Will this make me feel better knowing that I have exposed him for the rat he is?

Most people wouldn't even know that site, so he will hardly be exposed to the next women he meets.
You won't feel better btw. Best thing you can do is, move on, forget about him, lesson learned, enjoy the rest of your life. That's the best revenge.
Above all, do not use your child as a tool against him, s/he will not thank you later and they have a right to know their father, no matter how much of a waste of space he is.

John Mason

Donegal Lass wrote:

http://www.dontdatehimgirl.com/home/

but i really doubt it will make you feel better tbh! its easier said than done but all you can do is try getting on with your life and dont get emotionally involved with him again! dont let hm move into your home and if he wants to see your child, make arrangements to suit you! If he is that bothered he'll work around them! Dont waste anymore time on this loser, and that includes spending time writing about him on the above site! good luck!

brilliant - i am there - so many men to write about

el rabitos

TheminxIRL wrote:

Shortened story, met man, man moved in, man paid nothing towards anything, man moves out, back in, out back in, along comes child (much loved) man moves in out still then admits he only ever moved back in to see child unlimited.

you see the part in bold writing? well thats the point where he stops becoming a rat, you stop becoming used and you start becoming part of your own problem

you knew at that point he was useless and you kept taking him back, do you not have any responsibility for yourself?

Beruthiel

el rabitos wrote:

you see the part in bold writing? well thats the point where he stops becoming a rat, you stop becoming used and you start becoming part of your own problem

Couldn't agree more, she did indeed allow this to happen to herself.

TheminxIRL

el rabitos wrote:

you see the part in bold writing? well thats the point where he stops becoming a rat, you stop becoming used and you start becoming part of your own problem

you knew at that point he was useless and you kept taking him back, do you not have any responsibility for yourself?

I loved him plain and simple. Pluse the admission of him using me was the end this time.

We have a child and when he came back each time with excuses for his behaviour it was hard to close the door on him. I felt I would be always wondering "what if"

I didnt allow him to use me persay, I let him back each time because I believed what he was telling me.

John Mason

Jesus, i just read some of the stories on that website - i thought the men in my life were a-hole f-ckwits but hell there are a whole other breed out there. i think you should name and shame him, why let someone else go through it. but now you are rid of him its time to concentrate on you and your kid - its hard now but trust me, it will get easier

twanda

That website is something else! It's like an oestrogen explosion!!!

BrenC

feckin hell, that site will prob not become popular here, im fine either way though, good guy me is...i hopes

Dave!

Beruthiel wrote:

Most people wouldn't even know that site, so he will hardly be exposed to the next women he meets.
You won't feel better btw. Best thing you can do is, move on, forget about him, lesson learned, enjoy the rest of your life. That's the best revenge.
Above all, do not use your child as a tool against him, s/he will not thank you later and they have a right to know their father, no matter how much of a waste of space he is.

Agreed 100%