Lonely in Dublin

WunderFull

I'm in Dublin for a few years now but all my friends have moved away or are living with their other halves. Everyone seems so busy and because I'm wandering around on my own so much I've become a whingy, messy person. I don't have the confidence to get a job or arrange social outings, I don't get much support from home and I'm finding it really hard to motivate myself. I don't know what to do with myself because I don't have much money and don't wat to be spending so much time on my own.

Not looking for dates by the way, I already have a recently-gotten boyfriend (but he works a lot of the time and I can't be hanging off him all the time).

Odaise Gaelach

Go and get a job. Even just trying to find one will occupy your time and distract you. Then, when you get one, you'll have something to keep you occupied, make a few new friends, and have a little money too.

Trinity

WunderFull wrote:

I'm in Dublin for a few years now but all my friends have moved away or are living with their other halves. Everyone seems so busy and because I'm wandering around on my own so much I've become a whingy, messy person. I don't have the confidence to get a job or arrange social outings, I don't get much support from home and I'm finding it really hard to motivate myself. I don't know what to do with myself because I don't have much money and don't wat to be spending so much time on my own.

Not looking for dates by the way, I already have a recently-gotten boyfriend (but he works a lot of the time and I can't be hanging off him all the time).

I wouldnt depend on the boyfriend too much - you said you've become a whingy messy person - he might not find that appealing.

You really should get a job, apart from the feeling having a few bob in your pocket gives you to treat yourself to nice things, you will meet new people and make new friends, that way you will get out more too.

its hard to advice you what to do with no money so you should focus on the job thing first.

LadyJ

Get a job. If you don't have confidence now,then getting a job and earning your own money will give you some. Seriously.

Once you have a job then you're sure to meet lots of new people and with the money you make you can go out and meet other people.

Ruu_Old

Everyone has to go out and get a job sooner or later OP. Once you get the hang of if you'll be fine, even if its something part time you will gain some confidence and some money. Things normally fall into place after that, good luck.

LundiMardi

mmm, I hear someone feeling very sorry for them self and wallowing in their own self pity.

Get a job, and cheer up.

neuro-praxis

It actually sounds to me like you're depressed. You need to sort out what's important to you in life in order to be happy. You're obviously not in dire financial straits so look hard for as long as necessary for a job you can like and be good at.

Get up in the morning, don't lie in. Go for walks, read books, email your friends who have moved away, take good care of your appearance and tidy up your surroundings, keeping your bedroom nice and fresh in particular.

And enjoy your new relationship!

You can do it, there's absolutely no reason why you can't.

Kell

WunderFull wrote:

I don't have the confidence to get a job or arrange social outings,

Why not? Have a think about it and then go find yourself a happy meaningful life.

K-

colm_mcm

Things will fall into place with a new job, more disposable income, new faces, something to do!

McGinty

If you don't feel up to getting a paid job then why not try voluntary work, I agree that you sound depressed, I was depressed some time ago and in a similar situation where I had no confidence but was bored so I did two days a week in the Oxfam shop, it got me out of the house and back around people and from there on I found the confidence to get a job, and beleive it or not but doing voluntary work looks very good on your CV, so both the charity and yourself benefit. Good luck, if that isn't a good idea, go for courses or retraining, your loca FAS office will help, there are loads of courses available and you'll get a travel allowance and training allowance in some cases. Just remember there are a huge amount of opportunties and people are only too glad to help be it education or looking for work.

Dub_Ster

i used to have that problem till i went out and got my self a job so go do it yes its dawnting but its gotta be done, trust me you wont regret it ...