Very nasty to best friend.

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This is a bit long.

I'm an Asshole.

Last Saturday my brother's mate died, in an accident that some of you may have heard about, in Tramore.

The funeral was on Thursday, and I was at the mass, the burial and the pub afterwards, from about 12.15 in the afternoon. I started drinking pints at that time, had some sandwiches and chicken legs and stuff, and didn't eat again for the rest of the day.

Now, I'm recently back from a world trip, and one of the girls I went with I would consider to be one of my best mates (there's never been anything between us, I don't want there to be, and I'm sure she doesn't either). We came back together after our original group of five split and went seperate ways. We stuck up for each other if there were arguments, and of course we had our own arguments, but we generally get on very well. We've been out a few times since we got back, and it was all cool. I even visited her while she was in Wales for three weeks. We are close, so close that we know how to needle each other, we know how to annoy each other and push the buttons that get each other freaked out.

This next part I do not remember, I hate blaming drink for my actions, and have pulled her up on this from time to time myself, so I don't want to be a hypocrite, but I honestly have no recollection of what happened.

I was on my way to a match on Friday evening, and as I was on the DART I texted her and asked if she was heading out later that night, the first realisation that I had done something came when she replied to me asking if the text was meant for her. I replied that it was, and she told me that she had no money and wasn't coming out. The alarm bells went off immediately, but seeing as there was nothing I could do right then, I decided to leave it and give the time of the match to my brother.

Anyway, I headed to the pub with another friend and said to him that I thought I had done something to offend her the previous night. What he told me has left me shocked at myself.

Apparently I was an absolute asshole to her. Starting in the pub where I abused her verbally, telling her she was a bitch, and I never want to see or speak to her again. This then moved outside the pub where I began screaming in her face the same things, and I had to be pulled away and put in a taxi and sent home. She rang my mate in tears.

I remember her arriving, and joining her at her table with some other people. But that's it. I can't remember our conversation, I don't even know what time she arrived to the pub, or what time we left. I'm assuming she arrived at in or around half nine or ten, going by texts we sent that night that I have saved on my phone, and I'm assuming we left after last orders going by my mate telling me she rang him at about half one. This leaves a two and a half hour gap in my life, where I was a complete moron.

I know I should apologise, but how can I apologise for something I don't remember doing? If I was her I wouldn't want to see me, never mind accept an apology from me. I have fecked up big time here, is there any way to make it better?

Ruu_Old

I don't see any other way out of this but to apologise or rack your brain to try and remember anything that happened. Chat your mate again who saw what happened, get every little detail. People do stupid things when they are drunk, you know it and I know it. Have you seen her at all since the incident? As you probably know, she might not be too welcoming at first. Good luck anyway.

The_Conductor

2 things you have to do:

1. Apologise to her immediately
2. If you are drinking to the extent that you have blackouts about what happened- accept that you have an alcohol problem and get help.

While you may have been pissed out of your tree when all the happenings occurred- this is no excuse whatsoever- you should take responsibility for your actions, however belated, and apologise to her immediately.

Trinity

Been there - it aint nice.

if she is your best mate she will forgive you eventually.

do you normally get like this with beers on you? or was there something on your mind about this girl.

most incidents that have happened with me it has always come out in the end cos i was bottling stuff up and then i would explode with a few beers at the slightest provocation.

There is no other way other than to speak to her and apologise. Tell her the truth that you dont remember.

is it possible she could have done or said something to upset you?

Her reply was very calm meaning 'was that meant for me'?

FOr you to say such nasty things maybe she did rile you up - you may never know if she doesnt tell you. But i guess thats neither here nor there or any excuse for screaming in her face.

just tell her you know your behaviour was totally unacceptable and it wont happen again.

dont let your friendship slide - ask her to meet you for a coffee (sober!) and have a good chat.

Huggles

seansouth wrote:

This is a bit long.

I'm an Asshole.

Last Saturday my brother's mate died, in an accident that some of you may have heard about, in Tramore.

The funeral was on Thursday, and I was at the mass, the burial and the pub afterwards, from about 12.15 in the afternoon. I started drinking pints at that time, had some sandwiches and chicken legs and stuff, and didn't eat again for the rest of the day.

Now, I'm recently back from a world trip, and one of the girls I went with I would consider to be one of my best mates (there's never been anything between us, I don't want there to be, and I'm sure she doesn't either). We came back together after our original group of five split and went seperate ways. We stuck up for each other if there were arguments, and of course we had our own arguments, but we generally get on very well. We've been out a few times since we got back, and it was all cool. I even visited her while she was in Wales for three weeks. We are close, so close that we know how to needle each other, we know how to annoy each other and push the buttons that get each other freaked out.

This next part I do not remember, I hate blaming drink for my actions, and have pulled her up on this from time to time myself, so I don't want to be a hypocrite, but I honestly have no recollection of what happened.

I was on my way to a match on Friday evening, and as I was on the DART I texted her and asked if she was heading out later that night, the first realisation that I had done something came when she replied to me asking if the text was meant for her. I replied that it was, and she told me that she had no money and wasn't coming out. The alarm bells went off immediately, but seeing as there was nothing I could do right then, I decided to leave it and give the time of the match to my brother.

Anyway, I headed to the pub with another friend and said to him that I thought I had done something to offend her the previous night. What he told me has left me shocked at myself.

Apparently I was an absolute asshole to her. Starting in the pub where I abused her verbally, telling her she was a bitch, and I never want to see or speak to her again. This then moved outside the pub where I began screaming in her face the same things, and I had to be pulled away and put in a taxi and sent home. She rang my mate in tears.

I remember her arriving, and joining her at her table with some other people. But that's it. I can't remember our conversation, I don't even know what time she arrived to the pub, or what time we left. I'm assuming she arrived at in or around half nine or ten, going by texts we sent that night that I have saved on my phone, and I'm assuming we left after last orders going by my mate telling me she rang him at about half one. This leaves a two and a half hour gap in my life, where I was a complete moron.

I know I should apologise, but how can I apologise for something I don't remember doing? If I was her I wouldn't want to see me, never mind accept an apology from me. I have fecked up big time here, is there any way to make it better?

Ouch. TBH Sean I'd explain that you where totally wasted and do not remember and basically beg for forgiveness.

takola

Grovell!!! Do you usually black out from drinking too much? When she replied to you today did she get nasty at all? The fact that she replied at all suprises me! If one of my friends treated me like that whether drunk or sober, They wouldn't see me for dust!
Had she done anything to make you angry or was it just the drink? Fact is you owe her an apology, Whether you remember or not and regardless of whether she wants it. But the fact that she replied to your messages tells me she's just puzzled by what happened. You need to talk to her!

Faith

OP, I've been there. It was two years ago at this stage, but I'm still mortified when I think about it. All I can tell you to do is grovel. Explain yourself to the girl, tell her that you have no recollection of saying anything to her, but you're still incredibly sorry. Keep at it until she understands. She's under no obligation to forgive you though, remember that.

Best of luck!

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Thanks for all the replies, and good luck messages!

Nothing like this has ever happened before with me, in fact I thought I had it together that evening, obviously not.

Yeah, I suppose the only thing for it is to beg for her to forgive me, I hope she does though.

I know being drunk is not an excuse, I said in my first post that I wouldn't use it as one, that remains to be true.

I suppose I can take some positive from the fact that she even replied to messages, a starting point at least. I'm going to go out tonight with the other friend who told me about this, and ask him again if she told him any other details, then I'll ring her tomorrow and say I'm sorry, and keep saying that until she tells me to eff off.

Thanks guys.