just venting

LegacyUser

I've been going out with Girl C since april. we get along great. we row and misinterpret, but that's just fuel for sex.

Girl B broke up with me last christmas. she was a long distance relationship. it started at close range and then we were sorta dragged to different sides of the world and everything went very wrong

Girl A was my first and longest relationship. she cheated on me and sorta used me on and off for about 3 years - whenever she felt like it.

last week, after I had had a fight with Girl C, Girl B e-mailed me.this is the first time she has e-mailed me since last christmas. it basically says 'I'm over it now - let's be friends'. as I'm writing back, at 1.30am, Girl A calls me - also out of the blue - on my mobile. she's drunk and she wants to tell me how much she hates me.

I ended that conversation by telling her to **** off. and I tried to deter Girl B in a less confrontational way, but it didn't work. so now I'm in contact with Girl B again.

Girl C knows about it. I told her the next time we were out together. I kept a few details to myself but just because I didn't want her to feel insecure about it.

the problem is, I feel insecure about it. I'm feeling some of what I felt for Girl B back when it was good again. I'm feeling a lot of the anger I felt for Girl A back when it was bad again. and I feel like this single incident has somehow hollowed out my feelings for Girl C. and I can't help feeling like one day a freaking stage light is gonna drop from the sky at my feet and this will all fall apart around me.

I'm extremely confused, and it's making me feel restless all the time. it's really affecting me and I don't know what to do about it.

does anyone else?

bug

women wrote:

I've been going out with Girl C since april. we get along great. we row and misinterpret, but that's just fuel for sex.

Girl B broke up with me last christmas. she was a long distance relationship. it started at close range and then we were sorta dragged to different sides of the world and everything went very wrong

Girl A was my first and longest relationship. she cheated on me and sorta used me on and off for about 3 years - whenever she felt like it.

last week, after I had had a fight with Girl C, Girl B e-mailed me.this is the first time she has e-mailed me since last christmas. it basically says 'I'm over it now - let's be friends'. as I'm writing back, at 1.30am, Girl A calls me - also out of the blue - on my mobile. she's drunk and she wants to tell me how much she hates me.

I ended that conversation by telling her to **** off. and I tried to deter Girl B in a less confrontational way, but it didn't work. so now I'm in contact with Girl B again.

Girl C knows about it. I told her the next time we were out together. I kept a few details to myself but just because I didn't want her to feel insecure about it.

the problem is, I feel insecure about it. I'm feeling some of what I felt for Girl B back when it was good again. I'm feeling a lot of the anger I felt for Girl A back when it was bad again. and I feel like this single incident has somehow hollowed out my feelings for Girl C. and I can't help feeling like one day a freaking stage light is gonna drop from the sky at my feet and this will all fall apart around me.

I'm extremely confused, and it's making me feel restless all the time. it's really affecting me and I don't know what to do about it.

does anyone else?

last week, after I had had a fight with Girl C, Girl B e-mailed me.this is the first time she has e-mailed me since last christmas. it basically says 'I'm over it now - let's be friends'. as I'm writing back, at 1.30am, Girl A calls me - also out of the blue - on my mobile. she's drunk and she wants to tell me how much she hates me.

I shouldn't have but that kinda of made me giggle a bit.

ok, its very simple, take a chill pill, B & C are gone gonners, they either left or were got rid of for one reason or another.

So B wants to be your mate, after 8 months, you were grand without her as a mate and a girlfriend. Keep it that way.

A like to ring you and tell you your a fecker.
You finshed with her three years ago because she went off with another bloke, and then she used you for a while.

C, you just had an argument with. That's ok that happens.

In short forget completely about A + B, leave C alone for a few days, and go swimming or concentrate on watching tele/going for a drink with mates and having a bit of you time in the meantime.

LegacyUser

I think you kinda got mixed up on which girl was which but I get your point.

the problem is, Girl B was the love of my life at one point. we were engaged and had every intention of being that way for the shortest amount of time possible. but things went wrong just as quickly as they got good. to be honest, I don't want her out of my life. and I'm not sure how to feel about that. I keep thinking maybe that makes my feelings for Girl C fake somehow.

and Girl A has always had a knack for throwing me for a loop.

I should have made the chronology clearer - the fight I had with Girl C is already over and we're back to being in love, going to a concert tommorow as her birthday present to me. she's really sweet to me and so easy to get along with - yet I'm finding it harder and harder to get along with her because I've got the other two wrestling for time in my head.

in an ideal world I'd go live on a deserted island (that didn't have a doo***ay hatch or potentially cannibalistic tribe of well-spoken inhabitants) for a while and clear this all out. but I can't. so does anyone have any other ideas?

RoadSweeper

A sounds like a twat, who proaly is jelous of your other relationships - why would she ring you after how long?

Forget B - its working the way it is , dont drag her back!

C - as said before, give it a few days!

metrovelvet

a2+ b2=c2

bug

women wrote:

I think you kinda got mixed up on which girl was which but I get your point.

the problem is, Girl B was the love of my life at one point. we were engaged and had every intention of being that way for the shortest amount of time possible. but things went wrong just as quickly as they got good. to be honest, I don't want her out of my life. and I'm not sure how to feel about that. I keep thinking maybe that makes my feelings for Girl C fake somehow.

Well then maybe you're not over her. (B) that is.
So no one can really make your mind up for you.
Just saying, if it was only the distance that broke it up. Maybe it might have a chance. But old ground isnt good to go over in most cases.

and Girl A has always had a knack for throwing me for a loop.

Look, whatever about the other two just forget about this one.

That would narrow it to two.

Girl C seems nice to you, go for that for a while.
If B wants to keep in touch then do, just as mates mind you.
Just say hello every so often by email.

Only time will tell, but try and relax and have some fun.
You seem to be panicing a bit when really, its just emails and weird phonecalls.

Nothing is being demanded of you and you don't have to make any decisions.

dudara

metrovelvet wrote:

a2+ b2=c2

Best advice I've seen there I Love it!

Seriously, forget about A, she's only out for a pound of flesh and a chance to hurt you.

The best place for B may also be in the past, as developing a friendship with her now may damage your relationship with C. If you fell in love with her so quickly before, then you may get all caught up in the turmoil again.

Either way, be respectful of C. She is the person in your life right now.

judybaby

Either way, be respectful of C. She is the person in your life right now.

Dizzy after all this ....think you should forget A and B (cut all contact!) and stay with C and grow up! There is no problem here unless you make one

Chinafoot

women wrote:

the fight I had with Girl C is already over and we're back to being in love

women wrote:

yet I'm finding it harder and harder to get along with her because I've got the other two wrestling for time in my head.

Ok I don't mean to nit-pick but it really bothers me the way people use the word 'love' so freely. If you are in love with this girl then the second part of what I quoted wouldn't even be an issue.

Forget about the other two and concentrate on the girl you are claiming to be in love with. Surely she should be your priority instead of two previous relationships that didn't work out?

If she's not your priority and you are neglecting her for these other two then you should end the relationship and sort yourself out. It's completely unfair to your girlfriend to be strung along otherwise.

metrovelvet

I'm feeling some of what I felt for Girl B back when it was good again.

These feelings never really die completely, not when they are the real thing. You take them with you. You need to learn to manage them and it will be fine.

I love a lot of people, I know what its like, it's hard and also beautiful.

Who cares about A. Pain in the ass. Not worth thinking about.

Black Swan

Sounds like Charlie's Angels fighting over Bosley? Seriously OP, girl A is history by your own comments, so it's pointless to consider her further. That leaves B and C. You will obviously hurt C if you dump her, cause she is true to you. You say you love girl C, but I really wonder, given you still have these feelings for girl B? Although you knew girl B once, she may have changed, and in any case, she is a wild card filled with uncertainty. You have to decide, as do they, about the past and the present. It's obvious I feel sorry for girl C at this point.

dan_y

peachypants wrote:

Ok I don't mean to nit-pick but it really bothers me the way people use the word 'love' so freely. If you are in love with this girl then the second part of what I quoted wouldn't even be an issue.

Forget about the other two and concentrate on the girl you are claiming to be in love with. Surely she should be your priority instead of two previous relationships that didn't work out?

If she's not your priority and you are neglecting her for these other two then you should end the relationship and sort yourself out. It's completely unfair to your girlfriend to be strung along otherwise.

being in love with somebody doesn't automatically make everything easy. she Is my priority, the problem is A & B just happen to be the two girls from my past who have never had any difficulty crawling inside my head. I wasn't expecting this, I was completely off guard, and now my head feels ready to explode because neither of them will leave me alone and all I want to do is be with the one I love.

don't question my motives again. I love my girlfriend.

Noopti

and now my head feels ready to explode because neither of them will leave me alone and all I want to do is be with the one I love

They can only contact you and annoy you if you let them.
- Don't answer their phone calls. If they keep phoning, contact your operator
- Don't even read any emails they send - delete them

In other words, they can only converse with you if you let them.

nobodythere

You're just confused from the emotional residue that these two girls have left. You can't go back to the past as appealing as it may seem, and if you could it wouldn't be the same. You're lying to yourself through your emotions, and you need to get over it for the sake of GirlC

dr.bollocko

Life is a journey in which we must always travel forwards with relationships and attitudes.
Never backwards.
And though you may feel emotions rekindled from a past relationship that has fallen by the wayside, you have to just take that on board. dont let your heart stir for something that you know isnt true. Dont dismiss the past, but dismiss it as a worry.