Need a little help

Noelie

Ok I need a little help to clear out my head, I've been going out with my girlfriend for nearly 2 years now and we've had a bit of an arguement over the weekend.

About 6 weeks/2 months ago her and a friend from work went to the Horse races, it was supposed to be a work thing but no one else wanted to go, she had even asked me if i wanted to go, but i couldn't. Away it turns out that two guys started talking to them, not sure for how long they were talking but the guys offered the girls a lift home. My girlfriend exchanged numbers with one of the guys, she is saying that he asked for it and to get out of an akward situation she him it.

Anyway over the weekend i was beside her and she was texting someone, just in passing i asked who she was texting and she told me it was a girl from work who she hadn't seem in a while and who had texted her of friday. shortly later her phone recieved a message, i was messing about and opened the phone up, she seemed very reluctant for me to see the message and them i found out that this 'girl' from work was the guy she had meet at the races.

Needless to say i wasn't too happy. now i've seen the two messages he sent and it does follow the story she is saying, i've also seen the message that she sent him. there is nothing in them that would suggest that anything happened between them.

at the moment i just can't get it out of my mind, She's saying that she covered up the truth as she didn't want me to make a big deal out of it, I'm not an overly jealous or possive guy and if she had of told me the truth i don't think there would have been too much of a problem, my whole issue is that i've caught her lying to me, so now i'm not sure if anything she says is the truth.

I'm not sure what sort of advice i'm looking for but if anyone has anything that they think might be valid i'd be happy to hear it. thanks.

Redlancer

I think she is telling the truth that nothing is going on. I also think you shouldnt let it make you go insane. I think you should let her know in no uncertain terms that it was the lies more than anything else that you are unhappy about.

However I think she should have the cop on to not text this person again and you cant let this eat you up after all relationships are built on trust

Magic Pips

Ok, sorry but... if she gave him her number that was her mistake... we all make mistakes which fine.

BUT as soon as he's texts her she should say "im sorry, i have a boyfriend that i love - sorry if i led you on"... from the sounds of it she didnt do this...

Then she goes and lies to you by saying it was one of the girls...

I know how i'd feel (pissed off... a lot), but whats important here are your feelings. So you need to decide why these mistakes were made, and talk to her.

Best of luck with things

stipey

My girlfriend exchanged numbers with one of the guys, she is saying that he asked for it and to get out of an akward situation she him it.

I don't know your g/f so I won't even begin to guess at her personality, fidelity or motives for telling a few white lies. BUT... it doesn't take a genius or incredible speed of thought to transpose 2 digits in your phone number in an awkward situation. Something, I would imagine most people have done at some stage in their life.

Ickle Magoo

Why didn't she give a false number? She gives out her real number to get away from the guy & then is quite happy to chat to him via text?

Anyway, relationships are built on trust and you have to trust your gf rather than let it eat you up - you also have to sit down your gf & tell her that lying to you causes far more harm than any truth...best of luck

Mighty_Mouse

Honestly if the same happened to me I'd seriously consider dumping her.

She's "reluctantly" hiding the fact from you that she is striking up a texting relationship with a dude she doesnt know from adam

Id just matter of factly say. "its obvious that theres something going on in your head if you think its ok to swap numbers with random blokes. "

Tell her you're seriously considering ending the whole thing and see how she reacts.

I dont think you would be out of order. Its something that needs nipped in the bud.
I dont thinks its insane jealously. I just think that you need to be able to trust your partner.
If your partner thinks its ok to spend the night chatting to 2 random blokes. Getting offered lifts home.
And she cant even casually drop in the fact that she has a boyfriend like "oh my god Im so raging my boyfriend couldnt come."!!

I mean every person has to play wing-man at some stage so you're not asking her to run away. Just to conduct herself in a manner that shows shes completely happy in the relationship.

I think you'll find either she wants out
Or
There actually are problems in the relationship that need solving
Or
She got tempted by seeing if she still could pull. And its the biggest mistake she ever made (which is understandable also)





Either she'll say