What to think?

duignaninlove

The storey is I met this guy two weeks ago in a club, we got on really well talked and kissed and stuff. At the end of the night he walked me to my taxi, and asked my for my number so I gave it to him, he said he would like to see me again and I was happy about it because he was sound.
The next day (sunday morning) he text me and asked me would i go to the cinema with him, so I said yea. We were texting for a while and talking, he seemed so nice.
So i met him and went to the cinema, had a great time, we got on like a house on fire. That night when i got home, he text me sayin he had such a great time, how he liked me and how he really wanted to do it again, soon,. I was really happy about this as to be honest I really enjoyed myself too.
So basically he texts me everday since, we talk lots and he really is very sweet, i am actually due to meet him again this weekend, but the only thing is he asks me very unusual, well what i think is unusual, questions. You see i dont have a lot of experience with guys and i dont really no if its normal like.
he has been askin me questions about how many dates i would usually go on with a fella before id see the potential for a relationship, then he asked me about when i feel rite to have sex with the new guy, even though he initially said that he wasnt out for sex. Then he has been saying hings about how he like to take me away for a weekend, when we get to know each other better.
Now I have to say this fella is lovely, very sweet, and i really thought we got on great, but i just dont know if he is acting normally how a guy would act when he meets a new girl!?
Can anybody out there give me any advice or tell me what they think? It really is horrible having little to no experience.

GAAman

Bein honest it sounds to me like he is tryin to figure out how long its gonna take to have sex with you.

However i may be wrong so do this, when he is talkin like that make note of ho many times he asks bout relationship stuff and how many times he asks bout sex stuff and see what the tally is at the end of it

LegacyUser

Relax. Take your time until U feel comfortable
with the situation. I think it shows he's just a
normal human being.

But remember - he isn't a monk either !
Thank Gad fur Dat. He might be chasin kiddies
otherwise.

cupsoftea

I think he's looking for sex. But he may be interested in a relationship too. dunno but he's definately looking for sex.
To answer your question it isn't normal to get those kind of texts. (as far as i know!)

Ickle Magoo

I'd be very dubious of anyone who asks you to quatify when you will have sex with them (which is basically what he is doing)...no, I don't think the texts are a normal part of a relationship - I think he is taking advantage of your lack of experience & chancing his arm.

Ruu_Old

I would agree with what Ickle Magoo said, it isn't normal to be asking those sort of questions and it is a shame things are going this way as you both were having such a good time. Hope it works out.

duignaninlove

When he asked me about when i felt it rite to have have sex with some one new I replied kinda saying that i felt that it wasnt planned that it came in time, he then text me back saying that he felt that it was ok after around a month of seeing someone. Now to be honest i definately wouldnt even consider having sex after a month, in fact I am a virgin and I am waiting to meet the rigt person. he says he respects girls, but im afraid to tell him of my inexperience and i dont really want to push him away by telling him that a month would be too soon.
im sorry about all this confussion, but thanks for the help and advice.

LegacyUser

From what you have said, imo I think this guy is looking for sex and only sex

I think, he may know of your inexperience and is playing on it.
IMO he will use you for sex and then disappear once he has got it
and prize/trophy that he took your virginity. Obiviously I dont know him and thats speculation on my part (hope I'm wrong about him as you seem to like him)
But
I'd advise Caution and from where I sit his motives seem highly questionable
I'm a Bloke btw.

colm_mcm

He's not exactly Mr. Subtle is he ?!

lau1247

Unreg212222 wrote:

From what you have said, imo I think this guy is looking for sex and only sex

I think, he may know of your inexperience and is playing on it.
IMO he will use you for sex and then disappear once he has got it
and prize/trophy that he took your virginity. Obiviously I dont know him and thats speculation on my part (hope I'm wrong about him as you seem to like him)
But
I'd advise Caution and from where I sit his motives seem highly questionable
I'm a Bloke btw.

Yes definitely here with one motive and one motive only.. sex..

Unreg212222 said "dissapear once he got it"..
Maybe he'll stay for more.. If he gets his way..
Be cautious..

Every relationship ends up with sex at some stage..
But the way he has it, it seems like he has a timeline/schedule to keep..

Firetrap

Tread carefully. There's no harm in going out with him again and trying to suss him out though

Black Swan

You seem to be on different tracts? He wants a relationship with sex, and you are saving yourself for The One. Maybe the answer you seek is here?

Chucky the tree

Its sounds like his looking to get the leg over, or else just a bit different. Tell him your a virgin and want to wait a while and see what his reaction is.

If he loses interest you know what hes like. if he doesnt mind maybe he isnt after sex.

Webmonkey

Chucky the tree wrote:

Its sounds like his looking to get the leg over, or else just a bit different. Tell him your a virgin and want to wait a while and see what his reaction is.

If he loses interest you know what hes like. if he doesnt mind maybe he isnt after sex.

What I was going to say

ergo

duignaninlove wrote:

but the only thing is he asks me very unusual, well what i think is unusual, questions..
he has been askin me questions about how many dates i would usually go on with a fella before id see the potential for a relationship, then he asked me about when i feel rite to have sex with the new guy, even though he initially said that he wasnt out for sex. Then he has been saying hings about how he like to take me away for a weekend, when we get to know each other better.
.

it is possible that he's not just out "to get his leg over" as one poster said, but, it does seem a bit bizarre some of the questions he's been asking at this very early stage, especially suggesting a weekend away

but, he didn't suggest going home with you the first night did he? he was the gentleman, walked you to the taxi and asked for your number and that's all?

I mean you could give him the benefit of the doubt but him asking those questions at this stage do suggest maybe he has some timeline in mind or something
at this stage be cautious, see what happens, I don't think you have to tell him you're a virgin at this point, it's still early days and it doesn't sound like you're that close to him to be sharing a confidence like that

on the other hand, maybe he asked how long you'd wait to have sex with someone to suss out what sort of girl you were and that you weren't a complete tramp or something that's slept with 100's of guys, all on the first date. BUT, the weekend away suggestion probably contradicts all that:rolleyes:

Dutz

tbh its hard to say .. .maybe he is just as inexperienced as u and is wondering if they are the questions that need to be asked.

secret_squirrel

2 Possibilities here :

Either he wants sex with you asap.

or

He's fallen for you (or thinks he has) in a big way.

It might just be that he's thinking lots about you 2 being together and is being dumb/naive enough to let you know what he's thinking.

If he's that sweet apart from the odd question or 2 just take it further and see what happens. Make it quite clear to him that you will decide when and whom you have sex with, and that he might need to wait months. If he's looking for sex that should get rid of him.

Make it clear that if he pressures you he will get dumped straight away.

greenteaicedtea

I think this guy just wants sex, and as someone else said, on a schedule!

If you sleep with him on HIS schedule, you might think he only ever wanted you for sex, even if he eventually does want a meaningful relationship.

I say lose the dude ASAP.

spurious

Trust your instincts.

He's making you uncomfortable. Whatever his reasons for behaving in a way you consider 'unusual', the end result is you feel uncomfortable about it, otherwise you wouldn't be here.

Do not feel pressured to do anything you don't want to do.

Zombrex

duignaninlove wrote:

Can anybody out there give me any advice or tell me what they think? It really is horrible having little to no experience.

As Duntz says it is hard to say

- He could be trying to figure out how long it will be before you have sex, but tbh I think if he was devious to be doing that he would probably do it in a more subtle fashion.

- He could be trying to figure out if you have more sexual experience than him, as he might have his own issues about sex

- He could be trying to impress you. Amazingly some guys think that girls want a guy to be very forward with sex, the logic being that they believe the girl is really a oppressed sexual monster, just waiting for a guy to lead them to sexual bliss.

- He could be simply inexperienced, and getting overly excited about going out with you.

Remember just because he wants to sleep with you doesn't mean he doesn't think you are great. What ever his motives it is probably too early to tell, but it would be a warning sign to maybe take things slow. The way to tell if a guy wants more than to just sleep with you is either a) sleep with him and see if he sticks around or b) don't sleep with him and see if he sticks around.

And remember if you aren't comfortable discussing these things with him (and why would you be, u just met) tell him. A swift "That is totally none of your business" should shut him up for a while.

LegacyUser

To the original poster:
How old are you? Have you talked to any of your friends about him? Has he tried to get to know you at all apart from asking you those questions?

want2play

I think he's just finding out how you think because he's afraid of rushing and scaring you away, would be worse if he was telling you what he expected from you.

linryan

to me its simple, tell him when exactly you would feel comfortable having sex with him and if he takes that on board and continues to text you then you know its not just sex. if he disappears then you know he was only after one thing.

Its always better to be upfront with someone about things like this. It'll save you from getting hurt later on. Good luck.

Darragh29

cupsoftea wrote:

I think he's looking for sex. But he may be interested in a relationship too. dunno but he's definately looking for sex.
To answer your question it isn't normal to get those kind of texts. (as far as i know!)

Have to agree here, those are the kind of questions you ask yourself but don't say them out loud!!! This lad is defo out for sex asap imo and not being the brightest guy in the world in the way he's goin about it me thinks!

spinandscribble

i had a bf who asked sexual questions by txt like this and i know for a fact he wasnt just after sex. sex is a universal subject and sometimes conversions go that way. saying that, talk to him about your fears

Stabshauptmann

duignaninlove wrote:

The storey is I met this guy two weeks ago in a club, we got on really well talked and kissed and stuff. At the end of the night he walked me to my taxi, and asked my for my number so I gave it to him, he said he would like to see me again and I was happy about it because he was sound.
The next day (sunday morning) he text me and asked me would i go to the cinema with him, so I said yea. We were texting for a while and talking, he seemed so nice.
So i met him and went to the cinema, had a great time, we got on like a house on fire. That night when i got home, he text me sayin he had such a great time, how he liked me and how he really wanted to do it again, soon,. I was really happy about this as to be honest I really enjoyed myself too.
So basically he texts me everday since, we talk lots and he really is very sweet, i am actually due to meet him again this weekend, but the only thing is he asks me very unusual, well what i think is unusual, questions. You see i dont have a lot of experience with guys and i dont really no if its normal like.
he has been askin me questions about how many dates i would usually go on with a fella before id see the potential for a relationship, then he asked me about when i feel rite to have sex with the new guy, even though he initially said that he wasnt out for sex. Then he has been saying hings about how he like to take me away for a weekend, when we get to know each other better.
Now I have to say this fella is lovely, very sweet, and i really thought we got on great, but i just dont know if he is acting normally how a guy would act when he meets a new girl!?
Can anybody out there give me any advice or tell me what they think? It really is horrible having little to no experience.

I have this hunch that you have your own ideas and that post was written with them in mind and you have subcontiously given them added emphasis.

This sounds exactly like a convo I heard before: girl asks guy qs out his past record, he asks a few qs about her style and then she chats to her friends and takes his out of context.

If he keeps bringing up sex totally out of the blue and bringing ever convo back to sex then sex is all he wants. Relationship doesnt always mean sex. If those quotes are part of natural two way conversations, then you've kinda distorted things and have nothing to worry about.