blew it

thebaz

pissed off all week, theres a girl (isn't there always) , shes good lookin, and i have fancied her for years, we have both been in and out of relationships over the years .Anyway we came v. close , still are, over the summer, but i never made a physical move , kept putting it off, wondering is she right, will it ruin the freindship etc ., but physically i fancy her big time .. not sure if its mutual , but she definitly flirts big time around me ... anyway last weekend introduced her to a good lookin , charmer freind of mine, and guess what i've heard nothing from either since .. yes they were both free , but i feal sick, missed my chance , why didn't i make my move earlier . We were supposed to be going out next week, where i was going to make a move, or at least tell her i'd want to take things further ... i could scream today ..

galwaydude18

ring her, text her, do something rather than nothing! Maybe she has no credit and may not of hooked with this other guy either! Now for the love of god you contact her!

spoofilyj

Very suspitious al right.
But you'd never know. Try and get in contact.
Did this so called charmer of a friend know you were interested.
If so thats bad form.
Keep your chin up. I know it sucks now, but your only wrecking you own head thinking about it. Try and find out for certain at least then you'll know for sure.
Best of Luck.:)

Marksie

Next time ask first.

In life sometimes you are the pigeon, sometimes the statue.

No-one to blame but yourself i am afraid as you said, they were both free.

thebaz

hes not a close freind , and i know it won't last , or i'd be amazed !!
Not 100% certain anything happened , but i kinda smell a rat .
i kind of want her to wander back to me of her own accord , but if she went with him, not so sure .. just feal hurt , as we were tight freinds , and she meant more to me than a one night stance ... thats why i took my time ... and look where its got me .... just feal real pissed off , wasted time , energy trying to be the good guy , and then mr. charmer grabs her .. aghrrrrrrrrr :mad:

Donegal Lass

galwaydude18 wrote:

ring her, text her, do something rather than nothing! Maybe she has no credit and may not of hooked with this other guy either! Now for the love of god you contact her!

I agree- better late than never!!

smk135

you're just after making a thread to tell us all how you missed your chance and here you are letting it go again! what the hell??? jsut call her for gods sake

thebaz

i suppose i want her to make her own mind and choose me, callin her and putting her on the spot now, since i have waited so long, may not be the best play . As far as i know women don't like to be pressurised , as much as i want to call her, i feal holding out and not coming on desperate (even though i am ) , maybe the best policy . Next contact we do have , provided shes available, i am defo going to tell her , my fealings for her have moved on from just freindship .

Kell

thebaz wrote:

As far as i know women don't like to be pressurised , as much as i want to call her, i feal holding out and not coming on desperate (even though i am )

How is a single call pressure??

Women also like to know they are appreciated and loved.

K-

Miguel_Sanchez

Well I'd say find out if she and he are together before you go saying anything about your feelings.

You'll feel a right eejit if you ring her and blurt it all out and she goes 'well... I've just started seeing X'

Bear in mind also that she may have no idea how you feel about her. Even if she has gotten together with this guy surely you will still see her so it's not like she's slipped away from you. You've just missed your opportunity at this time. Hang around, wait until she's single again and then suggest getting together.

thebaz

Jeff_Lebowski wrote:

Well I'd say find out if she and he are together before you go saying anything about your feelings.

You'll feel a right eejit if you ring her and blurt it all out and she goes 'well... I've just started seeing X'

Bear in mind also that she may have no idea how you feel about her. Even if she has gotten together with this guy surely you will still see her so it's not like she's slipped away from you. You've just missed your opportunity at this time. Hang around, wait until she's single again and then suggest getting together.

That pretty much sums up how i see it, don't want to hurt my pride more by phoning, i will see her again over the coming period , just hurts while waiting , and the "what ifs" running through my head . Even if she did hook up with mr. x , i'd be amazed if it lasted any length ... then for me i got think do i want to go out with someone who i maybe could not trust ... right now it hurts and i'm pissed off , but i think i'm best waiting ...

metrovelvet

Kell wrote:

How is a single call pressure??

Women also like to know they are appreciated and loved.

K-

No kidding. Thats what you call pressure? Women generally will assume you dont like them unless you make it very very obvious. The assumption most hold is that if a man wants you nothing will stop him and he will make it clear as day. Unless you do that she will assume you are either only messing around or not interested at all.

How could you expect her to choose when you havent made it clear that you were an option?

Secondly you dont even know what happened if anything happened.

What the hell is going on around here? Is there something in the water that everyones testicles have fallen off?

galwaydude18

How can you not trust her? Your not together. you really havent made a move to either. you shouldn't be pissed off. It's your own fault for acting too slow if she hooked up with that other guy not his or hers! Ye are all single?!

thebaz

galwaydude18 wrote:

How can you not trust her? Your not together. you really havent made a move to either. you shouldn't be pissed off. It's your own fault for acting too slow if she hooked up with that other guy not his or hers! Ye are all single?!

I know its my own fault that why i'm pissed off , but i did move slowly cuz she was coming out of a relationship , so supposedly doing the right thing and didn't want a rebound .

oh are you saying because its my fault i cant be pissed off --- thats a great help ! We all make mistakes , and sometimes those mistakes hurt !!

Healio

thebaz wrote:

We were supposed to be going out next week, where i was going to make a move, or at least tell her i'd want to take things further ... i could scream today ..

Give her a call and see is she still coming out, no doubt she will mention something if she isnt.

Black Swan

Well, if she be a close friend, then go visit your close friend for lunch or whatever. Find out. She might still be in play.

thebaz

all is not lost -- phoned last night -- and nothing going on -- the reason i moved slow was she was coming out of another relationship , and i wanted to give it time -- i don't know if she picks up that i fancy her , its weird cause we are good freinds now ... fear of pushing things forward too fast and blowing everything . The other reason for slow movement on my part , is i am finished a long term relationship myself , i am over it, but it ended really bitterly, -- once bitten , twice shy -- i swore i would not get involved in a relationship again . And here i am smitten .

unklefiction

I wonder just a bit off topic? Did you ever give this girl some advice about her ex that may have helped the demise of their relationship? I have always wondered about close friends who are of the opposite sex, there is always a little more than their friends interests at heart, dont you think, unless of course they have gone through the relationship thing previously in the past and have overcome it all. You are in the friend zone by the way give up things would never be right between ye and you would end up getting hurt, just my opinion.

Kell

thebaz wrote:

i am finished a long term relationship myself , i am over it, but it ended really bitterly,

How long ago? Make sure she isnt your rebound girl or that'll fúck the frienship completely.

K-

thebaz

unklefiction wrote:

I wonder just a bit off topic? Did you ever give this girl some advice about her ex that may have helped the demise of their relationship? I have always wondered about close friends who are of the opposite sex, there is always a little more than their friends interests at heart, dont you think, unless of course they have gone through the relationship thing previously in the past and have overcome it all. You are in the friend zone by the way give up things would never be right between ye and you would end up getting hurt, just my opinion.

No , i didn't give any advice , as i say i want her to pick me , not by putting her off this guy (whom i dont know) , she told me its finished but i guess i want to be sure .. thats why i'm taking my time over this ... if a woman is taken , she is taken, i'm not the sort who goes round disrupting other peoples relationships.
I kinda of a enjoy singledom, keepin my eye open, but heading into a cold winter alone , not too sure.
Finished with my ex last year , was real bitter , as we were living together , when i left i said i would never live with anyone again ... but you know what they say ..

Kimbot

Dude, send a simple message saying the following... "Hey I need to talk to you, I have feelings towards you, more than I should for a friend" or something along those lines and see whats said!! Tell her that its her choice to make if she wants it to go further and if she doesn't then you will still be good friends!! Simple!!

DiscoHugh

do you really think it's best to make that statement via text message???

but anyways you should just get plastered and make a move...that's what i always do and im.....currently single

Kimbot

DiscoHugh wrote:

do you really think it's best to make that statement via text message???

but anyways you should just get plastered and make a move...that's what i always do and im.....currently single

I've done it a few times and it worked!!

thebaz

were going out next week -- something doesn't seam right though -- but from my point of view , i'm more relaxed about it -- if it works -- bingo -- if not -- move on -- time is the healer