Girlfriend dresses down

Ickle Magoo

Dudess wrote:

I find it hard to believe that anyone wouldn't get a kick out of looking good and would prefer to look crap (unless there are underlying issues, which, of course, can be the case).

It could be argued that folks who need the boost to their self-confidence via the attention that dressing up can give, have more "underlying issues" than someone who couldn't give a monkeys what others make of their aesthetics...:)

OP,

Tread carefully - if my partner bought me a beautiful dress to wear on a special date I'd be delighted...if he told me I should make more of an effort in how I chose to dress he'd be dropped like a hot potato. Bottom line is if you like your gf, you have to like everything about her. There is no point saying she is perfect if only she would...

Think carefully if you think she is happy the way she is & if changing the way she dressed is really for your own benefit. Best of luck

Kintarō Hattori

And asking somone to conform to your expectations isnt?

Again your taking it to an extreme. People give and take in relatationships. I have given up some major things for my lady, so what I ask I believe is on an equal level with what she wants from me.

it comes down to the primal part of your brain finding someone it see's as a potential mate. I happen to agree, and I am glad evolution has granted me the reason not to attempt to shag everything that has a pulse and a pretty face.

I would disagree with this.

Face, arse & legs, when it comes to women, initially sparks my interest

Smooth. I can't say I felt the same when I met my better half. I was attracted by her personality rather than anything else. As time went on I was attracted to her physically.

And only a muppet seeks to change what is ostensibly a good deal.

I guess I'm a muppet so.

There was a 30 best and worst dressed carried out recently in some society mag. TBH, I was horrified that this magazine indescriminately pointed out peoples absence of fashion. For me, that promotes conformity in the way people should dress, puts pressure on people to have the latest fashions and fads and essentially turn them into 2D into plastic people. The world is full of plastic two dimensional people who can tell you what the latest trend is but cant name the closest counties/countries to their own. Life has enough pressures in it without worrying about clothes FFS.

I guess I'm very lucky so, I have a lady who name all the countries that border her own, but who also happens to be rather beautiful. But I garee with you in relation to fashion magazines. They can be a load of tripe alright. Thankfully I never stated the OP's lady or my own should follow the latest fashion trends or conform to anything. I ownly mentioned nice clothes, not necessarily fashionable clothes.

You mentioned that you were flexible and have done things for your partner. So you are willing to change things about yourself in order to please them. I don't see how what the OP wants is any different really. To you it is a huge thing and wrong. Perhaps though somethings that you have done for your partner, other people wouldn't be willing to do or change about themselves.

and even on a night out will dress like it's a night in

He did say she dressed the same all the time, but I think what he's really looking to change is the above.

And the majority of breakups involving unfaithfulness have nothing to do with the offender not finding their partner attractive anymore

What the hell? Now that's just crazy. Finding someone unattractive does not necessarily mean physically. It is possible to be turned off someone's emotional state. I would hazzard a guess that alot of relationship breakups aren't because one partner finds the other physically unattractive, but more it's emotionally related, finding them unattractive mentally. I know I would never leave my GF simply because she didn't dress up the odd time. I'm not that shallow, some people are, some aren't. I have no idea if the OP is, but that's impossible for us to say.

But then again you did say`:

Face, arse & legs, when it comes to women, initially sparks my interest

What was your point again about the importance of clothes??

I never actually said clothes were important. Not once did I say that.

And how old are you?

I don't see that it matters here.

Kell

eo980 wrote:

You mentioned that you were flexible and have done things for your partner.

No I did not. I said I am flexible. I didnt mention anything about partners.

eo980 wrote:

So you are willing to change things about yourself in order to please them.

No. I re-iterate, they either like me or they dont.

eo980 wrote:

What the hell? Now that's just crazy. Finding someone unattractive does not necessarily mean physically

Proving my point of what have clothes got to do with anything? You have repeated the statement that it is not unreasonable to expect your GF/BF to dress up when going out etc. What happens if she does, then you find out she is a self obsessed psycho? What was the point in asking her to change anyway? What does it achieve?

eo980 wrote:

But then again you did say`:

You have mentioned this several times. I note your disapproval. Never heard of any bloke that says he doesnt wánk is a liar? Same example. You also conveniently forgot the bit where I said Followed by what comes out of her mouth. Verbal diahorreah is a good way to lose my interest irrelvent of looks.

eo980 wrote:

I never actually said clothes were important. Not once did I say that.

I ownly mentioned nice clothes, not necessarily fashionable clothes.

diversity is a great thing

:rolleyes:

eo980 wrote:

so why criticise someone if they find quality clothing attractive on a member of the opposite sex?

Sorry?? You say diversity is a great thing yet support the OP's desire to "change" his girlfriends appearance. Thats not supporting diversity much now is it?

eo980 wrote:

I don't see that it matters here.

It matters because when you hit certain ages, peoples clothing cease to be a thing of interest. Unless of course you are a 2 dimensional person to the time you die.

K-

Sleepy

OP, try the subtle approach. You could 'win a voucher for [insert clothes shop she'd like] in a work draw' or something like that and gift it to her in a casual manner...

Miss Fluff

Kell wrote:

It matters because when you hit certain ages, peoples clothing cease to be a thing of interest. Unless of course you are a 2 dimensional person to the time you die.

K-

What?:eek: So there's an age limit on having pride in one's appearance?

Kintarō Hattori

Fair enough Kell. The fact of the matter is that you have your viewpoint and I have my own, and we are not going to agree at any point in relation to this. I could follow up your last post with one of my own, but it's not going to get us anywhere, and it's not going to help the OP anytime soon.

As I have said I do disagree with what you have said and although we're not going to continue it here on this thread, feel free to PM me and we'll continue it over a few pints if you so wish! I'm not done yet!

Sangre

I would try and argue with Kell but he appears to be one of these 'I fight the power with my non-conformist clothes, don't oppress me' types.

Kintarō Hattori

Well I'm in work and I don't have the time to really think about it, and in fairness we're not going to resolve it and it's not helpful at the moment to the OP.

McGinty

Indeed.

Why the fúck are appearances (clotheswise) important to you? Is she fully clothed when your between the sheets? No (at least I hope not). When you are having a conversation about life the universe and everything, are you really thinking "I wish she would go and change"? If so, you're a twat of magnificent proportions.

Qualities such as
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dressing down
I've a stunningly beautiful girlfriend with a great sense of humour, loyalty, and commitment

are getting increasingly difficult to find and your worried about her clothes? FFS.

Cop yourself on.

K-

Lol, Kell I love you, you summed it up beautifully.

To the op, if you genuinely love someone, their appearance doesn't matter, but you strike me as someone with very little depth, and at the end of the day your young and have been brought up in a largely materialistic and consumerist world so i guess you can't help it. Maybe you can learn something from your girlfriend, it strikes me that you were drawn to her initially (scruffy clothes and all), maybe you need to ask yourself why you want to change her dress sense now. I'm not saying that I'm above shallowness, because I can't bear guys wearing football shirts, but it is very unlikely that I'll date a guy in a football shirt, but if I fall in love with a guy wearing said football shirt, I'd overlook it, because to find someone worthwhile is what matters, not what they are wearing.

Sangre

McGinty wrote:

To the op, if you genuinely love someone, their appearance doesn't matter, but you strike me as someone with very little depth, and at the end of the day your young and have been brought up in a largely materialistic and consumerist world so i guess you can't help it.

*bangs head against table*

Yeah, appearances don't matter. Thats why I sleep with man, woman or animal. As long I love them, something as trivial as appearance, or appropiate genitals can't keep me down.

Hmm...I think my runners are making googly eyes with me, brb.

Kintarō Hattori

Classic stuff sangre.