Never Saw Wife in the Nude

secret_squirrel

Victor wrote:

Don't worry, locking bathroom doors is perfectly normal.

No its not. You cant even call it a real relationship before you can happily clean your teeth whilst the other one is taking a dump.

kknapp21

i don't really like my chest either, and i told my husband that when we were dating, and he understood and we just took things slowly. now things are fine, but as a husband you should understand without asking questions. probably because you seem so content on seeing her chest is probably why your wife is so shy. ease off and let her get comfortable. and you shouldn't masterbate in the shower thinking about just breast, you should do it thinking about just your wife as a whole. she isn't just walking breast you know.

Aoide

secret_squirrel wrote:

No its not. You cant even call it a real relationship before you can happily clean your teeth whilst the other one is taking a dump.

Talk about flushing the romance down the toilet!
I've been married for a good few years and never once shared the bathroom in that manner. There's a point in life when we do need privacy, that's one of them.

OP- any updates?

Sangre

kknapp21 wrote:

i don't really like my chest either, and i told my husband that when we were dating, and he understood and we just took things slowly. now things are fine, but as a husband you should understand without asking questions. probably because you seem so content on seeing her chest is probably why your wife is so shy. ease off and let her get comfortable. and you shouldn't masterbate in the shower thinking about just breast, you should do it thinking about just your wife as a whole. she isn't just walking breast you know.

eh....

Victor

oleras wrote:

Maybe in a public toilet, not in your own home.

No, many people lock the bathroom door at home.

Ickle Magoo

Victor wrote:

No, many people lock the bathroom door at home.

Closing the door for privicy I can understand - but there's nothing I do in the toilet that requires locking my husband out...I would find it very bizarre to have sex with, walk around naked in front of, shower with him, etc & then have to lock the bathroom door lest he see me on the loo - oh the horror! :eek:

but as a husband you should understand without asking questions

Completely disagree...if I was dating a fella & he wouldn't let me see his chest then he'd be asked to see a therapist ASAP - if we couldn't talk about such an enormous issue that he had then really, what's the point? IMO a husband understands because questions are asked - I can't believe you expect anyone to put up with someone elses issues which effect them both - without question...sounds a bit selfish tbh.

theTinker

I wouldnt use the word selfish to the wife in a circumstance like this...I think it would just make her feel guilty and worst about her breasts, like they are causing problems.

I would NEVER use the loo in front of my girlfriend. It would be such a turn off to walk in and here "plonk"...ewww.

washing, showering, brushing teeth, blowing nose all fine but not that bit.

Victor

Ickle Magoo wrote:

Closing the door for privicy I can understand - but there's nothing I do in the toilet that requires locking my husband out...

Some people do things in the bathroom that they do want to keep to themselves.

Ickle Magoo

theTinker wrote:

I wouldnt use the word selfish to the wife in a circumstance like this...I think it would just make her feel guilty and worst about her breasts, like they are causing problems.

Oh no - I didn't mean the situation or the problem is selfish - obviously not but expecting a partner to put up with it no questions asked, no discusion, etc is...

theTinker wrote:

I would NEVER use the loo in front of my girlfriend. It would be such a turn off to walk in and here "plonk"...ewww.

washing, showering, brushing teeth, blowing nose all fine but not that bit.

I agree - I go to the bathroom & I close the door as I'd rather some privicy, I'm not so paranoid I have to lock it tho! And we have seen each other on the loo, in the shower, throwing up, with the runs, giving birth (well, that was just me), etc, etc...there comes a time when you just don't think "Eww, how unsexy!" anymore - nothing can put you off...well, happened to us anyway. My parents share the bathroom too - maybe it's hereditary?!

LegacyUser

I also hate my boobs, absolutely hate them. I think they are hideous. I absolutely would not enjoy sex if they were out on display, I would feel way too self conscious. My boobs are TINY, and now full of stretchmarks after having a baby. My boyfriend has seen them, we do shower together etc. But I much prefer it if he left them alone, and much prefer leaving my bra on during sex. I find it absolutley humiliating.

secret_squirrel

Unreg2 wrote:

I also hate my boobs, absolutely hate them. I think they are hideous. I absolutely would not enjoy sex if they were out on display, I would feel way too self conscious. My boobs are TINY, and now full of stretchmarks after having a baby. My boyfriend has seen them, we do shower together etc. But I much prefer it if he left them alone, and much prefer leaving my bra on during sex. I find it absolutley humiliating.

Too be absolutely honest there's very little that would put a man off his girlfriends breasts, we're simple creatures and easily pleased.... chances are your BF loves them coz they are part of you.

Seraphina

Unreg2 wrote:

I also hate my boobs, absolutely hate them. I think they are hideous. I absolutely would not enjoy sex if they were out on display, I would feel way too self conscious. My boobs are TINY, and now full of stretchmarks after having a baby. My boyfriend has seen them, we do shower together etc. But I much prefer it if he left them alone, and much prefer leaving my bra on during sex. I find it absolutley humiliating.

chances are you wearing a bra during sex and being so paranoid about your boobs is faaaaarrrr more unsexy than however hideous you may think they look.
confidence is a turn on, not just for women, but men too.
learn to love yourself.

jayo99

For Gawds sake!!

You married her.

You agreed to spend the rest of ur life with her thru sickness and health yet you cant sit her down and ask her what the problem is (obviously worded in a much more sensitive manner). What happens if (heaven forbid) a much more serious/personal situation comes along? How will she/ye deal with it ??

Sit her down. Ask her!

LegacyUser

My ex had a thing about her breasts too. She said that she didn't find their inclusion in whatever we were doing in the slightest bit arousing. Unfortunately, I did. But then again, I have my own, so it's not like I was missing out.

Talk to her, man. But don't make it about you - her breasts aren't toys for you to play with. Tread softly, for you tread on your own sex life. But she needs to get whatever the larger issue is sorted out. Just be aware that it could be something bigger than you currently think you can deal with.

madhitchhiker

Originally Posted by Unbreastistered
My ex had a thing about her breasts too. She said that she didn't find their inclusion in whatever we were doing in the slightest bit arousing. Unfortunately, I did. But then again, I have my own, so it's not like I was missing out.

Talk to her, man. But don't make it about you - her breasts aren't toys for you to play with. Tread softly, for you tread on your own sex life. But she needs to get whatever the larger issue is sorted out. Just be aware that it could be something bigger than you currently think you can deal with.

true! women are sometimes uncomfortable with their boobs and are AFRAID their men would stop loving them when they see what for them is UGLY. :confuse

talk to her and reassure her of your love no mtter what! :cool:

oleras

Victor wrote:

Some people do things in the bathroom that they do want to keep to themselves.

Thats why you would always knock first, there should be no need to lock a bathroom door in your own home.

dr.bollocko

boobs_owner wrote:

Any time a guy comes along telling a woman to be sexually this way or that, it sounds like he's looking into it for his own pleasure, not hers and I get mad.

I totally disagree with this statement. U make it sound like men are evil if they have a frank dialogue about what they like and dont like about sex, kinks and acts etc.
The guy never TOLD his wife to be any way. He just loves a woman and loves sleeping with her, but wants more, or different ways of making sex more stimulating.
Are you saying that unless the sex is pleasurable only for the woman then there is no point to it?
Are you saying that a man is not allowed to sexually experiment or to suggest doing something different from the norm to a partner he is in love with?

I mean it is always fine for any person involved in a sexual situation to veto things that they are not comfortable with, but to say that the guy is wrong for suggesting something is ridiculous.

And what the hell is wrong with a guy asking for something for his own pleasure?
The worst anyone should hear from that is "no".

Blush_01

Please tell me you realise the difference between him asking her to try something new that will potentially be mutually beneficial, and asking her to do something she's more than obviously not comfortable with so he can get his own rocks off. You're talking bollocko if you don't get the difference in the two situations. If she's never even shown him her breasts, a suggestion that they start involving them in the relationship is hardly going to be flavour of the month, and neither will he be, as a result. I'm drunk and I get that. How can you not?

dr.bollocko

What the hell are you talking about?
"Get his own rocks off"? Its a husband and wife, not a porno.
Plus in a situation where a woman is scared to show her husband her naked upper-half, then I think you have a problem there that you need to talk to the wife about. Its not like "Oh, my wife won't do *insert kinky sex act here*"
She refuses to be naked with her husband.
If I was her husband I would frankly be ****ing interested in why this was the case. And Im suggesting talking about it, telling the wife what you want. Not slamming her against the wall and hauling boob.

But what you are saying is "Dont ask your partner to do what you would like, in case you upset them. Only suggest things she might like. And if sex isnt making you happy, for the love of God dont say anything or you'll only cause an argument."

How do you know anyone is ever comfortable with anything unless you ask them? And if they arent comfortable with anything sexual, they could use the magic safety word, "NO!" and that should be the end of the conversation.
What is she gonna say?
"Oh my god. You want to see my WHAT? my BREASTS? YOU BASTARD! YOU PERV! I'M LEAVING YOU."
No. No in fact she won't.
You will probably get an answer.
But what you're saying is "No, dont ask for what you want, in case your wife gets pissed off with you?"

At least if you open up a dialogue about it you have a chance to solve the problem by actually entering into a discussion with the only person whose opinion counts.

Jehehesus.

Ickle Magoo

Blush_01 wrote:

Please tell me you realise the difference between him asking her to try something new that will potentially be mutually beneficial, and asking her to do something she's more than obviously not comfortable with so he can get his own rocks off.

Perhaps once the OP has opened dialogue with his wife to find out why she has such severe body image issues - touching & seeing her breasts will become a mutually beneficial part of their love making? You can't be seriously suggesting that not wanting your husband to touch you is perfectly normal & the OP should just put up & shut up?! :eek:

Lovemaking is a large part of most people's relationships or marriages...if the issues the OP's wife has with her body effects both partners & the quality of their overall relationship, then the OP the right to ask that things change or request that his wife deals with her body issues.

11.3 SECONDS

A seriously unnatural situation. In fact, this is unreal.

Long past the time for straight talking.

Insist on discussion NOW or threaten to go on strike until you are accorded the basic respect of being entrusted with the confidence to be told what is actually at the heart of this scenario...

LegacyUser

Judging from some of the comments most of you are probably single!

As well as that guys you mean to tell me you never masturbate or got an errection in the school shower or saw someone who did?

I had a long talk with my wife and I told her I did not marry for her boobs and after a while she told me she is self concious of them, i asked her did any of her exs see them she said yes, eventually she agreed to let me feel them via letting my hand up her top and when she gets comfortable she let me take it off, I have to say I find it very sexy.

At the moment I cannot imagine what they look like but just feeling.

Victor

problem_man wrote:

As well as that guys you mean to tell me you never masturbate

No. :eek:

or got an errection in the school shower

Once in a gym shower, I got a partial erection. It disappered quickly. Thats it.

or saw someone who did?

No. :eek:

LegacyUser

problem_man wrote:

As well as that guys you mean to tell me you never masturbate or got an errection in the school shower or saw someone who did?

Seriously though, can you give me the name of this school so I know where NOT to send my kids, should I ever have any. Although I have to admit it isn't that strange, anyone seen Angelas Ashes, the scene with all the lads up against the wall was truly disturbing... but it happens.

Back to the topic at hand (no pun intended). In a situation like this I would want to fully conceptualise how the other persons decision effects me personally by making the other person feel the same way. If you feel frustrated, annoyed, confused by her reluctance then she needs to know what you are going through on a daily basis by feeling the same thing. Is there anything she requests of you during sex that turns her on or that she enjoys? Use that as a bargaining chip then. There has to be a compromise, she can't just keep having sex her way so that she feels good and you end up in the shower remembering your school days.

It could be something like you will give her oral if she removes all her clothes when the room is dimmly lit.

Alternatively, the one sure way to get everything out on the table is for you to leave the door unlocked one morning to the shower and create a situation where she can catch you at it. A wife likes to feel they are completely sexually fullfilling for their husband, if she where to know that because of her actions she is driving you to fantasize about other womens breasts when you are alone it could be enough of a shock that the idea that her lack of confidence is pushing you away would outweigh the confidence issues altogether. But you'd need to explain to her when she catches you why you feel you are forced to do such a thing, that you hate that you do but your sexual frustration needs an outlet that is not being met by semi clad wife.