this apple has fallen far from the tree.......

LegacyUser

hi, im a male in my mid 20's. single, with a great job and decent social life. last night i was sleeping a with a girl and i realised that im not who i was. and its this reason that has led me to feel so unhappy for the last few months. i've lost my appetite for women, im not gay, im just bored, it might be because was part of a long term relathionship for a while, but im bored and depressed. i've also started using drugs, i mean i use to dabble but now im relying on them when i go out. jesus. what im looking for is advice. i feel like i've lost my way and maybe went slighty crazy. i dont want to feel like there is a hole in my stomach that needs to be filled. im not looking for extreme contentment but even just blah would do for now, just to get out of this slump!

SoupyNorman

Maybe the drugs are giving you what a woman cant!

Stop doin the drugs, give ladies more hugs.

Ruu_Old

A change of scenery might be a good thing for you at this stage, when is your next holiday? I would also get help for your drug problem as soon as possible before you end up doing more damage. What hobbies have you outside of work?

Black Swan

Drugs are bad news. They can alter your moods and change your perspective on life. Stop the drugs and then try to sort out your situation.

Miss Fluff

What kind of drugs?

Marksie

Along with other posters i would say stop using the drugs.

Regardless of what type they are, they skew your perception and alter your mind state in an adverse fashion.

The fact that you are completely relying on them is worrying.. whatever short term high they give, they will make you pay in the long run and it could very well be this that is causing your current mindstate

If you find you cannot stop using them, then seek some professional advice bith o the drugs and the current state you are in.
It may also help if you take up something new... something simple just to break the circle. i found that exercise for me really helped to get out of such states.. but it is only a suggestion.

We do all get bored and depressed at times and hopefully it is only temporary.. but i always started something new if that was the case, something i always wanted to do. Perhaps that may work for you?

fuzzywiggle

Stop taking drugs. They can cause the user to feel depressed and down about things for days once the high wears off.

Magic Pips

^^^ this includes alcohol! I currently dont want to do anything or be anywhere... post w/e dip.

akw_old

UnregMonkey wrote:

i've lost my appetite for women, im not gay, im just bored, it might be because was part of a long term relathionship for a while, but im bored and depressed. i've also started using drugs

firstly give up the drugs!

secondly, maybe the reason you've lost your appetite for women is because you are with the wrong ones or want another meaningful relationship.
sex is great and all but so is a bit of companionship to go with it.

have you just been having one night stands since your relationship?

conky_05

Miss Fluff wrote:

What kind of drugs?

i'm curious too ...... by the sounds of it it's prob ecstacy or coke though

if that's the case, i would certainly stop .... wont do your mood any favours

LegacyUser

the drugs are xtc and mdma. the women are all one night stands. i started doing excerise a few months back and it did help but i couldnt stick with it, not enough time kind of thing, i have loads of hobbies, but when i get like this i just cant get up to do anything. a see my non drug using friends everyevening almost, and we laugh, but i hate it when thye have to go, cause i know i start thinking and down agin i'll go, and just lie in bed, i thouhgt about talking to a professional, but then i think that there is nothing wrong with me and forget the idea. i know its not natural to feel this way, i mean, i've been happy, but maybe since i lost my innocene, i feel great weights on me, and maybe im taking serious advantage of the women im with and when im alone i feel awful, im just not me these days, lost innocence is so cliche. i dont think being depressed is "cool" or anything. i dont enjoy sadness. thnaks for your replays, im not an idiot, i see sense in all that's been said. maybe stay away from women for a while, give the drugs a rest.

Dub_Ster

ok sounds like you need a feeling of being alive go surfing for a weekend :cool: ...

itle make you feel better i promise ,...

bassically you dont sound you feel like your alive you usound like you feel a former shadow of your self and the drugs are what is helping you stay there you need to feel high about life:)..

and surfing is one way you will i promise you every single minite you spend out in the surf ule feel better , it will change your life corney but its true , its like nautral clenseing , and i promise you , the result will be that youle feel better ........i surfed for 8 months of my life on 120 pounds a week and i never regreted it , i swaer to you now the fun i had then and if i was offered more money and an exspensive car etc i still wouldnt go back and change it just go mate if you want some place's to go , il give you a list , also avoid bringing drugs just go there , and have some real fun ...

just go give it a wirl u have nothing to loose .... but all that bad suff .

Marksie

UnregMonkey wrote:

give the drugs a rest.

Yes.. i would have given any money that it was xtc/mdma you were using.
the answer you have already written.

It basically causes a flood of serotonin in the brain which gives those good feelings. Unfortunately it depletes the serotonin and leaves the depression.
Serotonin is very important in mood, sleep and depression.


I would also advise a good diet.. particularly in foods that contain tryptophan.. bananas and chocolate are a good example. (tryptophan is a precursor for serotonin production).

However, if the problems persist go to your doctor and get help.

Miss Fluff

If you're really going at the pills hammer and tongs your seretonin levels will be depleted. How often are doing them? Give them a rest for a while and don't go too heavy on the booze either, it's a depressant. You say you have lots of mates who don't take drugs, why don't you spend more time with them, they seem to have a positive influence. You also said exercise helped but you find it had to stick to a regime. Why don't you get one of your mates to join you at a gym/join a football team and maybe you can encourage each other/will help you sustain it. To me it sounds like you are just in a cycle of come-down after come-down, no wonder your head is in the shed. Cut them out for a while and things should start to improve for you. Good luck

beefa

Hey OP, you sound like your having a rough time so heres a virtual hug *HUG*

UnregMonkey wrote:

i thouhgt about talking to a professional, but then i think that there is nothing wrong with me and forget the idea.

There doesn't necessarily have to be something wrong with you, talking is good, more than likely it will help you clear your head. Best of luck:)

Kell

UnregMonkey wrote:

i thouhgt about talking to a professional, but then i think that there is nothing wrong with me and forget the idea.

Perhaps there is. You could have a lot of repressed stuff going on that you have totally forgotten about. Talking about general stuff with a professional who knows how to point you in certain directions to uncover other deeper stuff.

I genuinely dont believe that people just move into a state of apathy for no reason, because I believe you are in an apathetic state and not a depressed one. You just need to find the trigger to the apathy.

Short bit of advice- go and see a professional. Its always worth it.

K-

want2play

Been there, trust me its the drugs I couldnt see it either.

angelbaby

i agree with everyone else, youve got to give up the drugs. i was in pretty much the same situation before and trust me, once you ditch the drugs it gets better.

Húrin

Stop using drugs, that's the most important thing, maybe turn to food instead? Or better yet, hang out with your friends more (assuming your friends aren't into drugs).

_Kaiser_

Agree with the rest.. drugs aren't gonna solve the problem - the type is irrelevant incidentially.

One night stands aren't the answer either - they're just giving you another short-term quick-fix high like the drugs. This is clear from you feeling afterwards that you've somehow used them. You haven't.. they agreed to it too remember so let it be just what it was: no-strings, meaningless sex.

In the longer term, I guess you should just try and get out there a bit more. Maybe get back into exercising and make an effort to get out with your friends more. I know everything in this country seems to revolve around the pub, but there are other things to do as well.

Most importantly, give yourself the time to get over this.. it's not gonna be solved overnight but if you give yourself a chance and again, stay away from the drugs, you should be fine.

Piste

A lot of drugs can affect your libido and by the sounds of it that's what's happening here. If you give up the drugs and maybe take up a new hobby (you mentioned that excercising helped a bit, you could try to do that more) you could find yourself becoming happier with yourself and with women.

WunderFull

If you feel lonely at home, try to spend a bit more time with your flatmates or family or whoever you're living with. Rent a DVD, make dinner together, whatever.
Talking to a professional doesn't require massive life-destroying problems, depression is an extremely widespread condition and doesn't mean there's anything to be ashamed about. People are there to help out when things aren't going great.
Also, try talking to some of your friends about it. Even guys are remarkably understanding about things, you'll be surprised.