Did He Cheat??

LegacyUser

hey all, going unreg for this as i am on my cousins laptop and dont want her knowing me as we both use boards...

ive been with my bf for a yr and a half he went away on a trainin course in april for 4 nights in dublin when he came back he started calling my womans bits "his fajita" (prob spelt that wrong!) or i want your "fajita" i had tried to ring him most nights after 12 and he answered and said he was in bed so i said id ring in a while again so rang his hotel room no answer then rang his mobile and he said he was in bed, i went beserk becuase i new he was lying it all blew up when he came home and he said he was in the lobby with the others on course, then we were in the car looking at pics on our mobiles just arsing round really but he got very fidgety and didnt want me looking at his phone at all, so i continued as did he and i came across a new phone number under the name "mary - fajita" when i seen this i went bananas and demanded to know what was going on he swore nothing happened etc, then he said to delete her no which i did....

NOW today i seen mary amc on his phoen and its her number...Im climbing the walls wondering what the hell happened if anything?? hes gone to work and wont be back til 1am at which time im going to his house to try and soryt this mess out, im constantly worrying that hes cheated on her with me but he refuses to say he did, but why else would he put her num back on his phone under a differ name? he told me hes to go on another "course" in the same place in october......PLEASE HELP

Ruu_Old

It could be very innocent and just a laugh he had with his workmates or people who he was on the course with. You are going to drive yourself nuts looking for answers from his mobile so just ask him out again about it but let him explain it and don't go off the deep end at him.

tbh

im not sure wrote:

hey all, going unreg for this as i am on my cousins laptop and dont want her knowing me as we both use boards...

ive been with my bf for a yr and a half he went away on a trainin course in april for 4 nights in dublin when he came back he started calling my womans bits "his fajita" (prob spelt that wrong!) or i want your "fajita" i had tried to ring him most nights after 12 and he answered and said he was in bed so i said id ring in a while again so rang his hotel room no answer then rang his mobile and he said he was in bed, i went beserk becuase i new he was lying it all blew up when he came home and he said he was in the lobby with the others on course, then we were in the car looking at pics on our mobiles just arsing round really but he got very fidgety and didnt want me looking at his phone at all, so i continued as did he and i came across a new phone number under the name "mary - fajita" when i seen this i went bananas and demanded to know what was going on he swore nothing happened etc, then he said to delete her no which i did....

NOW today i seen mary amc on his phoen and its her number...Im climbing the walls wondering what the hell happened if anything?? hes gone to work and wont be back til 1am at which time im going to his house to try and soryt this mess out, im constantly worrying that hes cheated on her with me but he refuses to say he did, but why else would he put her num back on his phone under a differ name? he told me hes to go on another "course" in the same place in october......PLEASE HELP

Was it "fanjita"? cause thats from Avid Merrion . Wow this is probably the strangest post I've written on boards.

LegacyUser

no it wasnt fanjita it was fajita as in chicken fajita!

Ickle Magoo

He's allowed to have female friends I presume? So a girls name on his phone doesn't mean he is cheating on you...

Not sure why you are phoning him at midnight & phoning his hotel room to check up on him? I'm not surprised he's lying & hiding things from you if you act like that on a regular basis. It would drive me up the wall.

Bottom line is you should be able to say with certainty your fella would never cheat on you. If you can't honestly say that then you have bigger problems than finding a number on his phone. If he is going to cheat, he will cheat - no amount of number deletions, checks or tantrums will change that...find a guy you trust & save yourself the worry. Best of luck.

Zombrex

im not sure wrote:

he swore nothing happened etc,

Speaking as a man, when a man says "nothing happened" it means something happened.

Now this might mean all he was doing was a little innocent flirting with a group of them in the pub ("Mary, what do you call your down stairs bits? Hehe") or it could mean he had a massive afair with her.

I think you know he is lying about something, so really you want to sort this out. Tell him you know he is holding back, and that you can't let this go. He has to come clean, even if what he was doing was harmless, because you will know forever if he isn't, and if he doesn't all you can do is assume the worst.

Magic Pips

Wicknight wrote:

Speaking as a man...

You should know to keep schtum!!

OP, sit down and ask him to tell you exactly whats going on. Be prepared to break up if neccessary

stipey

Speaking as a man, when a man says "nothing happened" it means something happened.

D'oh!

Whenever nothing has happend I've always said "nothing happened".

Thanks for pointing out my mistake.

What should I say if nothing has happened?

cance

stipey wrote:

D'oh!

Whenever nothing has happend I've always said "nothing happened".

Thanks for pointing out my mistake.

What should I say if nothing has happened?

it all makes so much sense now :rolleyes:

nothing happened means nothing happened, unless you can prove otherwise, wickednight that is a bloody rediculously wide open comment to make, and not even partly true.

melekalikimaka

stipey wrote:

D'oh!

Whenever nothing has happend I've always said "nothing happened".

Thanks for pointing out my mistake.

What should I say if nothing has happened?

like thats ever the case

Zombrex

stipey wrote:

D'oh!

Whenever nothing has happend I've always said "nothing happened".

Thanks for pointing out my mistake.

What should I say if nothing has happened?

You should say what happened, even if it is innocent (especially if it is innocent).

If you go away on holiday, or to a business meeting, or to visit friends and you get back to your girlfriend and all you can say to "so, what happened" or "so, what did you do" is "umm, nothing" she knows you are bullsh1tting.

Nothing never happens to someone. Something always happens.

Zombrex

cance wrote:

it all makes so much sense now :rolleyes:

nothing happened means nothing happened, unless you can prove otherwise, wickednight that is a bloody rediculously wide open comment to make, and not even partly true.

Obviously something happened with this girl, he has her number in his phone book with "fijhitas" beside it ffs. That didn't just magically appear in his phone book.

Even if that something was totally innocent, they got chatting in the hotel bar, had a few drinks and are now good friends, that is "something"

Something happened, but because he has claimed nothing happened (what does that even mean), it shows that he either did something wrong, or did something innocent but that he believes would upset his girlfriend. Otherwise he would just tell her about Mary.

LegacyUser

Well, the real issue is here you don't trust him and he is lying. Regardless of whether he got some action or not this is the beginning of the end.

LegacyUser

You need to ask him why he said he was in bed when he wasn't. Why could he not tell you he was in the lobby. If he lied about that, then I'd start to be worried.

Why he started calling your bits 'His fajita' and why then he had ANOTHER girls number saved as 'fajita' in his phone. Something worrying there too.

Like Wicknight said, when a guy says 'Nothing happened' after he's already lied to you then he's probably being economical with the truth.

Why would he tell you to delete her number only to go out and get it again? He told you to delete it to make YOU feel better, if nothing had happened or was about to happen between them, he would have said 'I need that number for reasons x, y and z' or he would have said 'She's a friend'.

Its been 4 months or so since he was there? That's a long time to leave it stewing.

LegacyUser

wicknight i deleted her number under the name mary fajitas in april when it first came up, what concerns me NOW is the fact he still has her num in his phone but under the name mary amc, wtf is going on? it still bothers me and he has said he done nothing but something is just telling me something happened why else would he say he was in bed when he obviously wasnt and why when he said to delete her num he doesnt care when obviously he does when its still back in...

metrovelvet

Yeah WK is right. OP you know your boyfriend, if your instinct tells you he is lying then you are probably right. However, you are not going to get a confession out of him, his instinct is to COVER HIS ASS.

So, you can either bide your time until you get more evidence or dump his lying ass. But dont torture yourself by phoning him and checking up on him, you only torment yourself in the end.

LegacyUser

Soop95175346: i brought this up the night he came home and he swore nothing happened etc after a lot of shouting and roaring i decided to let it go, however it still bugs me and i know something isnt right and now that see her num under a different name alarm bells are ringing

The_B_Man

nah, seems grand. he wouldnt put her name back under "mary". he'd store it under "dave" or sumtin. i'd say ur grand. so he learned a new word, big deal?

Strokesfan

I think you should dump him just for having the word "fajita" in his vocabulary as slang for your privates!!! It's hilarious.... seriously did he use it in a romantic context???

He's acting sneaky but also stupid (by putting the name in his phone etc unless he's just a bit innocent). You will ALWAYs catch a liar out. You can leave it slide for now if you want and see if you still feel uneasy about it when he gets texts etc or if he says he's going on another training weekend.

I would dump him just for the "wanting your fajita business" - eeughhh...

LegacyUser

strokesfan: nah he didnt use it in a romantic way at all!! we always call our bits names so I wouldnt pass much heed but then when i seen mary fajita i flipped!!

LegacyUser

I hope everything works out for you tonight.

Definitely the Fajita = womans bits and Mary = Fajita would have me thinking on it.

Plus, watch out for the shouting and roaring. Some men tend to do that when they are lying to try and make you back down. If he's telling the truth, he'll calmly explain it all in detail and answer any questions. And if he won't do that..... then I'd start trying to find Trever Taco.

Sangre

im not sure wrote:

wicknight i deleted her number under the name mary fajitas in april when it first came up, what concerns me NOW is the fact he still has her num in his phone but under the name mary amc, wtf is going on? it still bothers me and he has said he done nothing but something is just telling me something happened why else would he say he was in bed when he obviously wasnt and why when he said to delete her num he doesnt care when obviously he does when its still back in...

Screaming at him over the phone? Going through his phone when he is uncomfortable? Having huge fights when he says nothing happened? Deleting numbers from his phone? Not letting him have new femal friends (if they are even friends?
No wonder he hides stuff from you.
Oh my God leave the poor man alone, talk about boiled bunny fajitas.

LegacyUser

get him to Ring marys number from his phone in front of you and put it on speakerphone. If he has nothing to hide it shouldnt be a prob.

embee

What in the hell are you doing, woman?!

Seems to me you don't trust this dude at all, so why are you with him? Having blazing rows with him over what? Learning a new word when he was on a course? Having the gall to TEXT ANOTHER WOMAN?! Having female friends of any kind?

Break up with him before you have a nervous breakdown. Whats the point in going out with someone if you don't trust them?

want2play

Well he called yours his fajita and her name in his phone was Mary - fajita. I think Mary liked him to call her's a fajita and he thinks thats cool now. Cheater Im afraid.