Brokenhearted.....help

barbeck23

Hello,

I am having difficulty in understanding a relationship that has recently gone wrong. Prehaps someone can help?

About 2 months ago I met this uy at a party,we instantly were ttracted to each other and kissed and had a great laugh, then he asked for my number and we went on a date which was also a sucess. He is the sort of person who takes the inititive and he would ring me and text me often. We were getting on great. Then we went away with friends for a weekend and we both admittng to be really falling for each other. Things were great and then I had to go through a week of intense exams which he was great, ringing me three times a day however when I finished we were both out and he started ranting that things were going flat and he couldn't continue after having gone out with a girl for a longtime and having hurt her. He maintained he couldn't do that to me.

However the next day, surprise surprise, he called me and left messages to the effect that he wanted it back on and to give it a go. I reluctantly agreed promising myself to get out at the first sign danger. He was going away for 2 weeks holidays with friends a few days later so we spent time together but phonecalls less frequent and the mood was different. I couldn't relax and was reading into everything, whereas before it flowed so naturally. When he went away we promised to stay in touch but have a little break and see how we felt when we came back. He texted from the hotel to say he arrived and hoping that I wasn't missing him too much (!) but I refrained from replying. A few days past and I hadn't heard from him and after what had happened and how insecure I was feeling about us and the possibility of getting hurt I rang him and ended it saying it was for the best. Initially he was surprised but thought it was for the best too in saying that it probably would have ended down the line anyway but he really wanted to stay in touch nd be friends. We both admitted to still really liking each other and really fancying each other and we were both at a loss at what had happened. It ended on good terms and we said we would be in contact when we got home from our repective holidays which in Friday. However I have really missed him (and I don't know why) but am so scared at getting hurt I don't think I can be the one to make the move. I don't know what happened. He chased me, we were falling in love (we both admitted that) and then bam, that Saturday night jolted us both. He says he was really drunk and not to take head of what he said but how can you not, especially with a guy who is a cool with women as he is .....

Advise?

Ruu_Old

Well if you think it is going nowhere then you are probably right to end it, if you both feel you have gave it a good try and hasn't worked then I suggest you move on. You do need to take some of the initiative in the future as one sided relationships don't work and it is not much fun for the other person to be doing the majority of the work to keep things going. Best of luck.

LadyJ

Uh....I dunno.... I don't know the guy but it sounds to me like,if he thinks things are "going flat" after a month or whatever,then he's one of those people who just enjoys the early part of a relationship and could do without the rest.

I'd keep away if I were you. Well actually I probably wouldn't but I'm a moron. My prescription is usually a lot better than the medicine I actually take.

Tbh,it sounds like a waste of time to me. If he wanted out after such a short time then chances are he'll want out again. Don't let him come back in.

Black Swan

After one month things turned "flat?" Not a good message for a future relationship.

Beetlebum

I completely agree with Ladyj. If he said things were going flat after a month than how are you ever suppossed to maintain an exciting longterm relationship with him? Maybe he's not ready for a commitment like that after his last relationship. In order to protect yourself, you should try your best to walk away now. If you feel hurt now imagine how hurt you'll feel if you invest even more time and love into him. He sounds confused and it really seems like you're being set up for a fall.

Kell

barbeck23 wrote:

He texted from the hotel to say he arrived and hoping that I wasn't missing him too much (!) but I refrained from replying.

Eh- why not? Smacks of game playing to me.

At the end of the day, you saw him for two months or so, so its no biggie. Hell, the girl I was seeing in June comes back from two months in the Bahama's and tells me she's moving to Singapore and getting married.

Am I bothered? Nah.

As I said, no biggie. I know you really liked the guy, but just put things in persepective i.e. it was one month of your life and while you really liked him, is one month really worth worrying over in the grand scheme of things?

K-

metrovelvet

barbeck23 wrote:

a guy who is a cool with women as he is .....

OP could you say more? What do you mean? Is this guy a player?