Ex married within 4 months of split to Lithuanian 17 year old

LegacyUser

Bizarre as it may sound, I’ve just found out that my ex-fiance met and married a 17 year old Lithuanian girl. They met in mid - June and were married (in Lithuania) at the end of July.

Whilst it is perfectly possible that they fell madly in love, is this realistic?

I’m also wondering what it says about our relationship and my judgment of him. We met in normal circumstances (i.e. in a pub through friends) six years ago, got engaged after four years, bought a house and planned a wedding. It didn’t work out – no drama, just that we settled into being an old married couple before we even got married. We’re both 34, Dublin-based, professionals, MBA educated. We sold the house in April, split up, and although not exactly on speaking terms hold no ill will. So I must say I feel shocked that he would marry within four months of our break-up to a girl half his age who speaks very little English, did not finish school, has no career, and does not work. Comments?

Nevyn

Be glad you have moved on with your life and have no need to be in contact with him.

SingingCherry

I know she's 17 and that's the legal age and blah blah blah, but that's still gross. He's a 34 year old man and he married a child (yes, even at 17 she's still a child) after only knowing her for four months... sounds a bit fishy to me.

Ickle Magoo

If I were you I'd be wondering the same - but in saying that he's entitiled to marry anyone, of legal age, any time he wants as a free agent & the fact he has choses an 17yr old Lithuanian has nothing to do with it...

You sound a bit hurt tbh but I would just move on & maybe even thank your lucky stars that the kind of 34yr old that wants to marry

a girl half his age who speaks very little English, did not finish school, has no career, and does not work

is not now your hubby!

metrovelvet

Hes rebounding.

Chucky the tree

metrovelvet wrote:

Hes rebounding.

spectaculary aswell.

Morpheus

Chucky the tree wrote:

spectaculary aswell.

Flubber springs to mind, no pun intended.

Love, your one lucky lucky girl. Now go find a nice decent bloke [EDIT]who deserves you, i meant to add![/EDIT]

I give your ex and that girl, as long as it takes to get a working visa, or her first night on the beer in town with her girlfriends.

BC

He is your EX fiance. Its nothing to do with you, forget it and move on.

LegacyUser

No, I'm not a bit hurt and tbh it doesn't bother me at all - apart from wondering did I know him at all!! Just curious as to whether people felt that it was as odd as I think.

blorg

Morph&#233 wrote: »

I give your ex and that girl, as long as it takes to get a working visa

Lithuania is in the EU; they don't need any visas. Having said that, he is your ex, probably rebounding, but again, EX, so forget/ignore/get over.

chamlis

Perhaps there is a bun in the oven, and Daddy Lithuania had a shotgun?
If the guy was as normal as you say when you knew him, there must be something up.....

Marksie

Bewildered2 wrote:

No, I'm not a bit hurt and tbh it doesn't bother me at all - apart from wondering did I know him at all!! Just curious as to whether people felt that it was as odd as I think.

You are over it whats the issue?

Simply put its their lives now... their choices and decisions. Whether they married for love, supposed love or money is no concern of anyone else's but their own.

Was the reason for posting this to explore an issue or to take comfort in the reaction the post is likely to get? which be more of an issue.

The pair of them are likely to get a lot of negativity anyway...
but none of it is any longer your concern

stipey

my ex-fiance met and married a 17 year old Lithuanian girl.....We’re both 34

Well first of all he's clearly broken the "half your own age + 7" rule.

So I must say I feel shocked that he would marry within four months of our break-up to a girl half his age who speaks very little English, did not finish school, has no career, and does not work. Comments?

Perhaps she goes like a train, could suck a golf ball through a length of hose pipe or would hand it back to you small (and various other similar suggestions).

Only kidding...

Some guys don't always think with the head that was intended for thinking. Couple that with the fact that "the grass is always greener" and you probably have your answer.

I guess that at 34 there's also the possibility that he could have been mid mid-life crisis and looking for something, some kind of distraction that would make him feel younger again.

As somebody else said you are probably better off now anyway - although i can't imagine it feels like that just yet.

LegacyUser

metrovelvet wrote:

Hes rebounding.

Some might argue 'He is upgrading' younger model and all that BS

Sounds to me like a very early mid life crisis, I'd go with the theory of a rebound and loss of clarity/sense on his part.

idunno78

dunno will this be of any help but i have noticed that some foreginers ge married alot younger then we do over here. i work in a shop that sells lithuian/polish food, and some of the couples that come in are in there middle twenites and have kids. i know that plently over here do that do but it seems like alot of them do it! so maybe that has something to do with it? i know a 16yr old lithuian and she has been engaged since april/may... I doubt it was a rebound, maybe it started that way and god knows what happened!

LundiMardi

Fair play to him.

secret_squirrel

I give it a year tops.

Boooiiiinnnggg.

theTinker

His entire life has just changed....most likely in a negative way to him. Any decisions he makes like this are most likely complete rebounds.
If the girl hardly even speaks the same language and is so different in age(for shared experiences like) then it really looks like a complete mess of a rebound.

I'm sure its ...not nice for u to know about but it doesnt mean anything bad about your judgement, men and women do stupid things when they break up. Im impressed by how ....not emotionally invested u sound in this. U obviously realised he wasnt for u. v.impressed.

ircoha

Bewildered2 wrote:

Bizarre as it may sound, I’ve just found out that my ex-fiance met and married a 17 year old Lithuanian girl. They met in mid - June and were married (in Lithuania) at the end of July.

Whilst it is perfectly possible that they fell madly in love, is this realistic?

I’m also wondering what it says about our relationship and my judgment of him. We met in normal circumstances (i.e. in a pub through friends) six years ago, got engaged after four years, bought a house and planned a wedding. It didn’t work out – no drama, just that we settled into being an old married couple before we even got married. We’re both 34, Dublin-based, professionals, MBA educated. We sold the house in April, split up, and although not exactly on speaking terms hold no ill will. So I must say I feel shocked that he would marry within four months of our break-up to a girl half his age who speaks very little English, did not finish school, has no career, and does not work. Comments?

I am really sorry that it did not work out for u after all the prep etc. However consider your self lucky.
Keep well.

Ickle Magoo

Bewildered2 wrote:

No, I'm not a bit hurt and tbh it doesn't bother me at all

Oh right, its just when I read the line

I feel shocked that he would marry within four months of our break-up

I got the impression it bothered you...infact I got the impression throughout the whole post that it was only posted because it bothers you...

If it didn't bother you then you would just wish him all the best rather than pointing out his new wife's age, nationality, how long they had known each other, that she doesn't work, you were newly broken up, etc....

Concentrating on your own life rather than wanting to discuss your ex's is much healthier.

\m/_(>_<)_\m/

Bewildered2 wrote:

Bizarre as it may sound, I’ve just found out that my ex-fiance met and married a 17 year old Lithuanian girl. They met in mid - June and were married (in Lithuania) at the end of July.

Whilst it is perfectly possible that they fell madly in love, is this realistic?

I’m also wondering what it says about our relationship and my judgment of him. We met in normal circumstances (i.e. in a pub through friends) six years ago, got engaged after four years, bought a house and planned a wedding. It didn’t work out – no drama, just that we settled into being an old married couple before we even got married. We’re both 34, Dublin-based, professionals, MBA educated. We sold the house in April, split up, and although not exactly on speaking terms hold no ill will. So I must say I feel shocked that he would marry within four months of our break-up to a girl half his age who speaks very little English, did not finish school, has no career, and does not work. Comments?

sometimes true love doesn't have a time limit. i wouldn't worry about him marring her in 4 months.

does it matter where she comes form, it shouldn't. because if it did that would be a form of racism.

OK, the 17yo thing is a bit unusual... but some guys have all the luck.

Baggly

\m/_(>_<)_\m/ wrote:

sometimes true love doesn't have a time limit. i wouldn't worry about him marring her in 4 months.

does it matter where she comes form, it shouldn't. because if it did that would be a form of racism.

OK, the 17yo thing is a bit unusual... but some guys have all the luck.

Its not racism, the fact of the matter is that there is a culture difference between ireland and lituania. Its that kind of thing that has this country too PC. And did the Op not comment that the real curious thing about the girl being from lituania is that she speaks little english?

\m/_(>_<)_\m/

LOTP wrote:

Its not racism, the fact of the matter is that there is a culture difference between ireland and lituania. Its that kind of thing that has this country too PC. And did the Op not comment that the real curious thing about the girl being from lituania is that she speaks little english?

ya sure... there is a cultural difference between black and white also... anyway that is off the topic and for another thread.

she speaks little English.... maybe he need s a rest from a spouse talking too much

Slutmonkey57b

Bewildered2 wrote:

We’re both 34, Dublin-based, professionals, MBA educated.

What does that have to do with anything, other than to broadcast your smug satisfaction about your academic credentials?

So I must say I feel shocked that he would marry within four months of our break-up to a girl half his age who speaks very little English, did not finish school, has no career, and does not work. Comments?

I take it there's some "minimum qualification" requirement for loving someone now, is there? And, Like, She's Noht Evan Gone To Univursity Ursoola! As pointed out above, he's not subject to your approval, and you claim to be over it, so what's the problem? Leave the guy alone.

Dub_Ster

I think there still love there, or that your so board with your own personal life that your interfearing, with his youve probably been bitching about this all week .
jeous whats it got to do with you what he does , it's like everything he does has to impress you.

not any more.

it probably wont last shel take him to the cleener's blah blah blah , but at the end of the day it could be . or are you jelous that hes happy and you dont really sound all that happy at all .... so maybe you should stop evaluateing his life and take the nesscesary steps , to makeing your life happyer .

also im 24 but if i was 34 and i was banging a 17 yr old god forbid its a young age but id be more then happy .....

Blazer

fair play to him..with your MBA educated you sound like a stuckup little toff and maybe when he looked down the road a few years he saw that he wouldn't like being with some posh and possibly shallow person.....now he's decided to hell with education and all that rubbish..he met a foreign and probably stunning girl and he's decided the grass is greener on the other side of the fence and went hell for leather to it...
If I was you I'd be asking myself what were my faults that caused him to chuck it all in in a flash and maybe work on them..

LadyJ

Mathew Reilly wrote:

fair play to him..with your MBA educated you sound like a stuckup little toff and maybe when he looked down the road a few years he saw that he wouldn't like being with some posh and possibly shallow person.....now he's decided to hell with education and all that rubbish..he met a foreign and probably stunning girl and he's decided the grass is greener on the other side of the fence and went hell for leather to it...
If I was you I'd be asking myself what were my faults that caused him to chuck it all in in a flash and maybe work on them..

It's funny how you can always tell when someone has their own issues with a particular topic.

OP,sounds like he's rushed into things a bit. Maybe he's slightly unstable after the breakup. Either way,it's his life and he'll have to deal with it if it all falls apart again....

Try not to pay too much attention. He was obviously pretty desperate to settle down though.... Who knows what he's thinking tbh!

shane86

I presume he is doing what id do if i was 34 and i found myself having broken up with a woman who i expected to have a family with. Realised if he doesnt get rentawifey he will die lonely and depressed and.....dead.

Out of curiousity, whats MBA?


All this talk of money etc etc remins me of en episode of Married With Children where the son comes into some money and has gorgeous birds knocking down the door after him

Kelly "Dont you realise, these women arent attracted to your personality. Theyre only with you because of your money!"#
Bud (smiling broadly) "Dont you think I know that?!!?"

LOL

Blazer

LadyJ wrote:

It's funny how you can always tell when someone has their own issues with a particular topic.

OP,sounds like he's rushed into things a bit. Maybe he's slightly unstable after the breakup. Either way,it's his life and he'll have to deal with it if it all falls apart again....

Try not to pay too much attention. He was obviously pretty desperate to settle down though.... Who knows what he's thinking tbh!

not at all gir l..it's just what I and several others got from the gist of the op's post..

Lust4Life

it happens. I've been there.
And as I recall being in your shoes, I wasn't so much hurt but rather disappointed (maybe even felt a bit of anger) after putting all that time and energy into a relationship and seeing it crash like a train wreck in front of you - - - and then watching the Ex just hop into a new quick relationship and sprint to the altar.

Look at it this way. You helped to make him a better husband for this new wife with all that you had been through and with the point of view he came out of the relationship with.

Keep moving forward with your own life.

Beruthiel

Bewildered2 wrote:

No, I'm not a bit hurt and tbh it doesn't bother me at all

As I've said before, lying to us is one thing, lying to yourself is just not cool.
Of course it bothers you, otherwise you wouldn't be posting on here unregged.
As metro said, he's rebounding big time. Marry in haste, repent at leisure...

You need to totally forget about him and get one with your own life.

Catch_22

shane86 wrote:

Out of curiousity, whats MBA?

www.mba.com

masters of business administration

OP it sound's like you had a lucky escape from this backwards sexist bastard
This is the equal to him leaving you for a blonde bimbo trophy wife!!!

He wants a non intelligent, non back talking, too young to make up her own mind as she's not even fully grown wife and when I say wife I mean it in every sense of the word purely used for the following task's

Washing Ironing Fcuking Etc

She’ll stay at home and pop out babies and be ever so placid, obedient and ignorant when he's out screwing other women too!
Or she'll grow up (considering she's only 17) and divorce him and take him to court!

\m/_(>_<)_\m/

coolsmileygirl wrote:

OP it sound's like you had a lucky escape from this backwards sexist bastard

please explain how you got "backward" and "sexist" from this situation...

ah i see now, its just a "sister support" post. did you even read the op.

Xterminator

As one of the posters said earlier, isnt it funny how posters bring their own problems into things. And Coolsmileygirl just about every part of you response was objectionable.

coolsmileygirl wrote:

OP it sound's like you had a lucky escape from this backwards sexist bastard This is the equal to him leaving you for a blonde bimbo trophy wife!!!

They split up ... hence he didnt leave her for anyone. But one wonder if you have been jilted at all?
BTW sexist ? Where are you getting that from? Not from any of the facts poted here anyway, just your own suppositions.

coolsmileygirl wrote:

He wants a non intelligent, non back talking, too young to make up her own mind as she's not even fully grown wife and when I say wife I mean it in every sense of the word purely used for the following task's

Now unless you know the couple, how can you hazzard a guess as to how educated, intelligent, physically or mentally mature she is? Again, i'd wonder as to your past experiences. 17 is young. Very young. But if someone is stong and independant enough to leave their own country and seek a new life in Ireland at 17, perhaps they are advanced for their age? At least its possible.

coolsmileygirl wrote:

Washing Ironing Fcuking Etc

She’ll stay at home and pop out babies and be ever so placid, obedient and ignorant when he's out screwing other women too!
Or she'll grow up (considering she's only 17) and divorce him and take him to court!

So there no chance they're in love eh? He's just using her, you know this for a fact. How do you know if he does his share of washing ironing etc. How do you know if the girl works or is in education or is his little slave?

Again your colouring this with your experinces. To some marriage is partnership. Not to you, but to some it is.

To the original poster, sorry to digress. I can understand your being very curious as to the nature of your ex's new relationship. Humna nature and all that, but i hope your not just posting it here to get a kick from negative responses.

X

Ok so i'm assuming and stereotyping
perhap's the OP can shed more light

blorg

Mathew Reilly wrote:

fair play to him..with your MBA educated you sound like a stuckup little toff and maybe when he looked down the road a few years he saw that he wouldn't like being with some posh and possibly shallow person.....now he's decided to hell with education and all that rubbish..he met a foreign and probably stunning girl and he's decided the grass is greener on the other side of the fence and went hell for leather to it...
If I was you I'd be asking myself what were my faults that caused him to chuck it all in in a flash and maybe work on them..

For christ's sake you and Slutmonkey57b, she only mentioned this to point out that _both_ of them had similar educational backgrounds, same age, etc. E.g. that they were similar people. Education does tend to promote a bit of personal development (although admittedly I don't know about an MBA ) as does simply living on earth for an extra 17 years, you know.

vorbis

I think the OP is entitled to feel a bit weird about a guy she went out with for 6 years MARRYING a girl half his age within 4 months of their breakup. It is indeed odd and most likely is a mistake on his part.

LegacyUser

Unreg211222 wrote:

Some might argue 'He is upgrading' younger model and all that BS.

This does not sound like an upgrade. It looks more like entry level.

King of Kings

Mathew Reilly wrote:

fair play to him..with your MBA educated you sound like a stuckup little toff and maybe when he looked down the road a few years he saw that he wouldn't like being with some posh and possibly shallow person.....now he's decided to hell with education and all that rubbish..he met a foreign and probably stunning girl and he's decided the grass is greener on the other side of the fence and went hell for leather to it...
If I was you I'd be asking myself what were my faults that caused him to chuck it all in in a flash and maybe work on them..

Mathew Reilly -- the king states that you've missed the point. the OP is illustrating that the ex has very little in common with the new wife,

I doubt snobbery comes into it.

ircoha

shane86 wrote:

Out of curiousity, whats MBA?

BA: bull added
MBA more bull added
PhD: piled higher and deeper

Zombrex

Bewildered2 wrote:

Whilst it is perfectly possible that they fell madly in love, is this realistic?

Realistically ... no

If she is anything like the Eastern European girls I know she is probably a fox. I think that is where most of his "love" for her is coming from. No idea why he would marry her rather than just date her. Maybe he wants to hold on to her, maybe she won't shag him till they are married.

But I wouldn't worry about it. You ex sounds like he has some emotional maturity issues. Not marrying him was probably the best thing you did

\m/_(>_<)_\m/

Slutmonkey57b wrote:

What does that have to do with anything, other than to broadcast your smug satisfaction about your academic credentials?


I take it there's some "minimum qualification" requirement for loving someone now, is there? And, Like, She's Noht Evan Gone To Univursity Ursoola! As pointed out above, he's not subject to your approval, and you claim to be over it, so what's the problem? Leave the guy alone.

in some circles a "minimum qualification" is a requirements for love and i suspect that this guy wants out of that smug, snobby, up your own bum circles... and the op just cant figure out why.
why oh why could somebody love anybody who doesent have any qualification...

he had a lucky escape.

The Sweeper

Slutmonkey57b wrote:

What does that have to do with anything, other than to broadcast your smug satisfaction about your academic credentials?

I take it there's some "minimum qualification" requirement for loving someone now, is there? And, Like, She's Noht Evan Gone To Univursity Ursoola! As pointed out above, he's not subject to your approval, and you claim to be over it, so what's the problem? Leave the guy alone.

I doubt the OP was bragging about her credentials. More likely she's wondering what the hell a 34 year old educated man has to talk about with a school child half his age.

If you don't think it's important to have something in common with your partner, I don't think you've ever had a successful long-term relationship, to be honest.

In my experience, and opinion - whatever those two things count for - older men find girls in their late teens/very early twenties extremely attractive, because they end up on the end of her hero worship. The girl has scored a bloke who has a job, education, his own money, experience etc. He has scored someone who's too young to have even fully formed opinions about life, the universe and everything.

Chances are, she idolises him. She probably rarely disagrees with him, looks up to him all the time, values his opinion, has little to compare him with in bed and so, basically, he can now do no wrong.

Who wouldn't marry that, in fairness? (Other than someone who respects the concept that taking on the responsibility of shaping someone's life with your personal experiences, as opposed to them creating their own, is a greater responsibility even than marriage?)

\m/_(>_<)_\m/

Minesajackdaniels wrote:

More likely she's wondering what the hell a 34 year old educated man has to talk about with a school child half his age.

no need to read anymore of this
my post above covers it

LegacyUser

Sounds to me like a right case of typical Oirish begrudgery ; the penny looking down the snout at the half-penny. Who's to say what will work and what won't work. Maybe she's a nice Eastern European girl - no short legs and fat a*se, like Oirish gurls (from ateing too many spuds !). And, maybe when the going gets tough, she won't cut and run like many Oirish gurls these days.

I think de Oirish gurls have their work cut out for them thanks to those cute Eastern European wimmin.

The Sweeper

\m/_(>_<)_\m/ wrote:

no need to read anymore of this
my post above covers it

No, I don't think it does.

Unfortunately, "true love" doesn't get you far these days.

Can you really not see any point at which someone who isn't even old enough to legally drink in a pub yet might encounter a problem being married to someone approaching middle age?

The Sweeper

NortSoide wrote:

Sounds to me like a right case of typical Oirish begrudgery ; the penny looking down the snout at the half-penny. Who's to say what will work and what won't work. Maybe she's a nice Eastern European girl - no short legs and fat a*se, like Oirish gurls (from ateing too many spuds !). And, maybe when the going gets tough, she won't cut and run like many Oirish gurls these days.

I think de Oirish gurls have their work cut out for them thanks to those cute Eastern European wimmin.

This is just a ridiculous post, to be honest. I don't care if she's one of those uber-petite Japanese pocket-sized women, the poster child for 'cute'.

She's seventeen years old. Six years ago, when he was 28 years old, she was ELEVEN. Do you really think she's grown up enough in six years to date him now, let alone marry him?

He's lived what is most probably a full life, possibly travelled a bit, gone to college, been in a relationship that's failed - imagine how much living he got through in his twenties and into his thirties.

How much living do you reckon she's done in 17 years? Think she's had a failed four-year long term relationship yet? Think she's done four years of university and done that whole student thing when you arse around for nearly half a decade, running up an obnoxious debt and allegedly broadening your mind?

On a more basic level - reckon she's learned to drive yet? Gone on a sun holiday with her girlfriends? Been in full time employment for more than 12 months? Voted?

It's not that she can't do any of those things when she's with someone else. But what if he doesn't feel like doing all the wild youth discovery stuff with her? Then she's left to do it on her own. Because seriously, either he tells her she can't, which is out of line in any relationship really, or he sits back and gets left out while she lives those marvellous, opinion and life-forming years between 17 and 25 where you get to be an adult for the first time, figure out what your tastes are - and aren't - and generally shape the person you're going to be.

Most of the responses on this thread sound like they come from a bunch of kids who think the OP's ex boyfriend scored a lapdancer and sure well for him.

He didn't.

He married a child.

I'm not really bothered about the OP - she'll get over this.

He married a child.

LadyJ

Minesajackdaniels wrote:

He married a child.

It's true. I mean,what in the name of God do they talk about? Where do they go together? Not the pub anyway!

I mean,he could take her to dinner but she couldn't even have a glass of wine!

For chrissake,legally,the girl can't even watch an 18s film!

Apart from that,what's he going to do while she's growing up? People change so much between 17 and 25. Also,surely she'll want to enjoy her youth,instead of being tied down with a mortgage or a kid or something within the next few years.

I dunno...... He must be gone a bit mental methinks.

fits

In fairness to the OP, I think people are hopping on the education thing unfairly, it was part of the description highlighting the differences between this man, and the child.

He met and married a girl half his age, who doesnt speak good english, within four months!!!! Surely anyone will concede that is a hasty move!

Sarn

Bewildered2 wrote:

They met in mid - June and were married... at the end of July.

This is where I see the problem. If this person was Irish, Lithuanian, 17 or 34, getting married a month and a half after meeting someone seems crazy to me. Major rebound (with shotgun wedding thrown in). What's the rush? Spend some time getting to know each other.