Age Gap

LegacyUser

Basically my question is this:
Is an age gap a good thing or a bad thing?

Now let me explain. Recently I have gone back into education and have found myself surrounded by people who have just done their leaving certificate. I am 21 years old and have found myself getting close with this girl.. she is 16. I do not know if anything were to happen, I'm not expecting it whatsoever- but would it be wrong for me to do so?

There is a similar age gap between my parents (my dad being 54 and my mum 51.. they met when she was 21).

I should probably state that I do not want any legal question; this is a question of morals and decency.

Thank you.

The age gap there is probably in my opinion looking worse to you than it actually is.
yes 16 is young.play it by ear,after all 17 or 18 isnt too far away.After that its down to the usual conditions ie do ye get on,what ye have in common etc.

DirkVoodoo

I think what tristrame said is more or less true. An age gap of 5 years is nothing; a 21 year old going out with a 26 year old, a 40 year old married to a 45 year old. These are all fine.

I think the only issue is the fact she is now 16. Maybe when she is 17 or 18 it wont seem like so big a deal, i think it is more to do with emotional maturity, etc.

Personally, and im not judging u here buddy, just giving my own view, I would wait a year before taking it any further.

Black Swan

Everyone is unique and different. If you are both mature, then no prob.

ShiverinEskimo

If she's in college it can't be long until she is 17 - I did my leaving when I was 16 and turned 17 the day after my last exam and I was the youngest in my year. If I were you I'd just carry on getting to know her and then when she is 17 and going on see how it goes.

Plus mentally you shouldn't be too far seperated either - ye are both in college etc. so you are living similar lifestyles and would probably have more in common as a result.

LegacyUser

if you had a daughter who was 16 and you found out some 21 year old dude was making moves on her, how would you feel?

as previous poster said, it's not a mater of an age gap, it's a matter that she's technicaly a child while you're an adult.

azezil

If there's grass on the pitch, play ball.

Victor

azezil wrote:

If there's grass on the pitch, play ball.

... and go to jail.

Age Gap wrote:

I am 21 years old and have found myself getting close with this girl.. she is 16. There is a similar age gap between my parents (my dad being 54 and my mum 51.. they met when she was 21).

21-16=5
54-51=3
5>3

I think its at the outer edge of whats acceptable. I would suggest that you take things slowly and ther emay be no harm in getting to know her parents.

TempestSabre

Theres a big difference between 16 and 21, hardly any between 30-35. Or for that matter a 28 and 35. Its nothing to do with the actual number of years difference , but everything to do with the stage of life you are at.

Dreamer 7

I was 18 when I met my man and he was 24. So same difference there, we had no problems and we've been together 6 yrs now. I'd never had gone for a guy my own age any way , to childish!!

ShiverinEskimo

azezil wrote:

If there's grass on the pitch, play ball.

And if there's no grass? Play behind the goals.

free2fly

16 is a bit young, but if she is mature for her age then I see no problem with your at least getting to know her better. Just take it slow with her.

Capt'n Midnight

some 16 year olds can be mature, others not so it all depends on the person, but the leaving cert is one rite of passage that it's probably best to wait for as a minimum

if someone isn't earning then a sugar daddy might seem nicer now than when they have their own resources

The magic formula is half your age plus seven, so it'll all be ok in three years time :rolleyes:

claire h

Is an age gap a good thing or a bad thing?

I don't think it's ever an ideal thing to have an age gap... but maturity and where you're at in your life at a particular stage are much more important. Being a 21-year-old out working with a place of your own and going out with a 16-year-old still in secondary school would be very different to both of you being in college... even though you're coming from different stages of your life, there's a common ground and you're on fairly equal footing. So it's more a case of being careful rather than it being very very wrong, I'd say.