Does it count if you cant remember?

LegacyUser

The sh1t has just hit the fan people!

Ive been going out with my wonderful gf for almost 18 months.
NEVER have i even thought about another girl not to mind think of cheating on her.
Anyways, i went out last week with my mates and got totally, and i mean totally hammered. (please dont post saying you should watch your drink blah blah... people get drunk, deal with it.)
Anyways, all was going well and whilst i was stumbling home i came across a house party which (as you do) i crashed. At this stage i had lost all my mates so i was on my own.
So long story short i got chatting with this bird and we scored on the couch for about a minute (just kissing).
Fell home and went to sleep.

Anyways next morning i woke up and went about my day as normal, and the day after that and the day after that. Then on tuesday as i was out walking when this stranger waved at me from accross the street....
It was like getting punched in the mouth by a champion bare knuckle pikey fighter! It was the girl.
3 days i went on about my business and it only came back to me then. 3 days!!!

I feel awful about it and wish i could take it back so much.
I have made up my mind that i am not gonna tell my g/f as i can deal with my own conscience.

Now ive seen some of these threads b4 so i know i'm gonna get the 'you obviously dont love your gf'. yes i do. I was twisted and did not make a conscious decision to kiss this girl.

The only thing is, this chick lives near my gf so i'm thinkin the truth will come out eventually......

or will it???

LadyJ

I'd keep my mouth firmly shut if I were you.

At least you didn't sleep with her,that's one thing! I dunno what you should do but I know I'd keep quiet.

Chucky the tree

Start seeing the other girl now. Chances are the g/f will find out and will dump you.

At least if you date 2 of them at the same time and get away with it for a while you will be considered a bit of a legend by your mates so that will be something to console you.

Magic Pips

Don't tell no-one!

LegacyUser

Well ... U didn't 'bash d gash'.
So, I wouldn't wurry about it.
It was only a bit of tonsil tennis.

And, a closed mouth catches no flies.

Noopti

You obviously wouldn't have done this if you were sober. So now getting completely rat arsed has put the relationship with the woman you love in jeopardy.

I would rate that as a drink problem, ultimitely it is up to you to decide if you should tell her about the kiss, but in my opinion letting drink control you like it did means you can't control it......so you need to decide what is more important, your girl....or getting completely sh*t faced and risking your relationship with her.

Yes, most people go out and get drunk and all the rest, but not as many get to the point where they don't have a balls notion what they are doing.

RDConfoosed

us guys can justify just about anything to ourselves. but if this was just one drunken mistake then forget about it. i've mates who cheated far worse on a regular basis. they always justify it someway but no excuse at all. anyone can make a mistake, it was one kiss, and you wouldnt have done it sober, so leave it at that.

LegacyUser

Thanks guys, i feel a whole lot better!
Christ i hope she does'nt find out, currently its only the girl that knows but knowing women, this knowledge has multiplied somewhat!
I didnt tell any of my mates so fingers crossed it doesnt leak...

Feel like such a t1t!

Black Swan

Well, after last weekend's drinking bout, I am hardly in a position to criticise your drinking. There are parts that I cannot remember, just like the title of this thread of yours. One thing for certain, it was a first for me, and it will be a last for me. I am truly a lightweight when it comes to drinking, and a loss of memory is not something I wish to repeat. Unlike you, I just acted foolish and nothing happened fortunately that would affect my relationship with someone I care about. If I was you, I would button my lip and learn from this incident before it's too late.

stifz

Sure why not.. push the boat out! Nothing better than bedding two ladies in the same day...

irlirishkev

Think about the chain though..
There was wisdom in some of those Friends episodes..

If you don't tell her, you have to be sure that it's never ever ever going to get back to her, or it will look very bad indeed.

LegacyUser

irlirishkev wrote:

If you don't tell her, you have to be sure that it's never ever ever going to get back to her, or it will look very bad indeed.

Thats exactly my problem! I personally am not ever going to mention it. But that cliche is ringing in the back of my head...."the truth always comes out at some stage". The only way this can happen is if that girl (who is mingin might i add) blabs it to anyone.
I txted her and explained my situation and she said she would'nt but i dont trust her...

Look at me talking about trust!!!!

Piste

Oh Lord, the chain...

Don't tell her, and if it comes up pretend that you don't remember much of that night at all, or if she was very drunk, make her think she's thinking of the wrong guy.

Victor

If you get drunk and do something stupid, you are still responsible.

Its not like you didn't know that alcohol gets you drunk and stupid things happen when you are drunk.

LegacyUser

It's like everything else in Oireland : it only becums a problem if U get
caught.

Then - deny everything ! 'Youse have de wrong man. Twaran't me'.
Well ... it wurks for de politicans and de priests !
It's a real - he said, she said - situation.

LundiMardi

Victor wrote:

If you get drunk and do something stupid, you are still responsible.

Its not like you didn't know that alcohol gets you drunk and stupid things happen when you are drunk.

persactly...

If you got drunk, killed someone while driving... are you responsible? :rolleyes:

Just tell her man, it was only a kiss, and yes she will probably find out eventually, if she finds out some other way then you're ****ed. Be a man, tell her yourself, the longer you leave it the worse it will be.

nobodythere

(please dont post saying you should watch your drink blah blah... people get drunk, deal with it.)

Watch your drink. Or you'll use it as an excuse to do it again.

oulu

Of course it does not count only if you get caught, and I hope you are not so stupid that you will tell on yourself, note, the truth does not always come think about it, Many people have done the bold thing and nothing is ever found out, lads on golf trips abroad, girls on hens down the Country, most times people never find out

LegacyUser

Yes, it does count.

I don't believe that a person can loose such mental control without losing physical control with it so I don't see how you could have been pissed enough for you not to have known what you were doing - but that s my personal belief.

I think you have to tell her and let the consequences blow over. The longer you leave it the bigger the issue it gets *WHEN* it finally does come out - I think for most people in relationships, Trust is the most important thing. Bite the bullet, tell her.

Chuchu

wot did i do!!! wrote:

Thats exactly my problem! I personally am not ever going to mention it. But that cliche is ringing in the back of my head...."the truth always comes out at some stage". The only way this can happen is if that girl (who is mingin might i add) blabs it to anyone.
I txted her and explained my situation and she said she would'nt but i dont trust her...

Look at me talking about trust!!!!

How did you get her number??? And if she's a good enough friend that you had it already it might just get around the 'circle of friends' alright. Tough one. :eek:

Ruu_Old

LundiMardi wrote:

persactly...

If you got drunk, killed someone while driving... are you responsible? :rolleyes:

Just tell her man, it was only a kiss, and yes she will probably find out eventually, if she finds out some other way then you're ****ed. Be a man, tell her yourself, the longer you leave it the worse it will be.

Agreed, go and tell her and be a bit more careful the next time. Explain that you are trying to be honest and have nothing between either of you.

The people who say "don't tell her" always worry me.
Personally, I'd want to know. And the deceit, should I eventually find out, would be what made me the most angry. Making a stupid drunken mistake is one thing. Throwing that on top of it breaks trust.
It was only a kiss. Just tell her.

Watch your drink, or you'll use it as an excuse to do this again.

DirkVoodoo

Wow, thats a real catch 22 you're in, and i don't envy you one bit.

Sure some people will say "honesty is the best policy" or "don't say a word", but I think the real test is every day, when you see your girlfriend, can you look her in the eye knowing what you did (you said it was not a conscious decision and you seem really regretful, so im not judging you, dont worry). If it's eating away at you, which it must be for you posted here, then I think a clean conscience is needed. If she feels the same way about you, then she will be willing to forgive your mistake (but the wounds will obviously take time to heal).

My point: I would tell her the truth, if she accepts it and agrees to move on (with the proviso that one more foot-out-of-line and your nuts are gone) then you have a truly special girl my friend. But she deserves to hear the truth.

is_that_so

Don't see it as any harm done but it doesn't affect me. My first thought with that much drink should be "go home". It is not a bad idea to own up to it anyway. Some people can see something like this as a betrayal. Equally things happen when you are drunk that are subconscious messages about what you really want. "In Vino veritas" as they say.

Dinxminx

Tell her and beg for forgiveness. If you keep it quiet and she finds out some other way you will be in SOOOooo much trouble......

spinandscribble

if she really isnt good looking (at all i mean) and you explain to your girlfriend what happened she might believe you and get over it.
if it was me and my bf had done this i'd be mad but accept it and put it down to the drink if the other girl was really bad looking. i mean it might seem shallow but if it was proper cheating (ie. a relationship behind my back) then how good or bad she looked wouldnt matter. he could have fallen for her charms or personality in which case then there would be a problem.
but seeing that it was a cheap drunk nightout kiss i'd expect he'd have to find her attractive for it to mean anything for me to be worried about. but if he'd never usually find her attractive imo i'd trust that it was just the drink. now if she was pretty or even mildly attractive i'd worry that drink was just an excuse. you dont purposely kiss someone on a nite out unless you find them attractive. seeing that he wouldnt then it must be the drink speaking. ya fool

mind you, he'd be in trouble if he ever went out having planned to get so hammered again. clearly it should be used as a lesson

Caryatnid

Why is the title of this thread totally unrelated to the original post?

Should it not be "Should I tell me gf I did the dirt" or something like that.....

mel123

If it was my boyf who did it to me, i would defo want to know.
But if he did it to me would he tell me - probably not.
If i did it to him, would i tell him? Defo 100% not, and hope for the fu*king best that he NEVER found out!!!

Stabshauptmann

I can tell you right now that if my gf told me your story, exactly as you told it. Id be dissapointed. 18mths and we were both in love, definitly wouldnt end the relationship. Whether Id ever trust her again would depend on how sorry she was.
If you're really sorry, and convince her of this and shes sensible (I dont think many women are) tell her.
Remember women bottle things up, I knew a guy who did exactly what you did, told his GF as soon as he remembered, they went on for a few months but then she cracked. Women are strange

D-Generate

Don't say it because she will have your balls for it. Any future argument you have you will automatically lose as she will bring up that one time. Keep it to yourself.

kelle

Wot did i do!!! wrote:

Thanks guys, i feel a whole lot better!
Christ i hope she does'nt find out, currently its only the girl that knows but knowing women, this knowledge has multiplied somewhat!
I didnt tell any of my mates so fingers crossed it doesnt leak...

Feel like such a t1t!

If this girl is the only one who knows about it, and your girlfriend gets to find out, why don't you just deny it as it's your word against hers?

melekalikimaka

just plead ignorance...the beauty of drink

kittenkiller

I have to agree with Chuchu's point about if you already have her phone number then you were enough of a roll to ask for her number when you were that pissed or you're in close enough contact with this girl that she'll probably mention that nights activities to at least one friend of hers that knows you (even if it's next time she's as locked as she was at the weekend & didn't really mean to and. as with you, mightn't remember until a freaky flashback days later).

If that happens & you've hurt partygirls feelings, her mates mightn't be overly fond of you & out for mischief!

Don't envy you one bit.
What else do you do that doesn't count while you've been drinking?

Stabshauptmann

D-Generate wrote:

Don't say it because she will have your balls for it. Any future argument you have you will automatically lose as she will bring up that one time. Keep it to yourself.

But from the sound of things shes gonna find out anyway. Now he cant very well pretend to be sorry if he tried to cover it up. If he tells her himself if she ever brings it up in a fight he has a response, I'm more upset over that than you, I felt like **** but owned up, took responsibility and came clean straight away

If it was on a holiday abroad and there was no way she was going to find out, definitly keep it to yourself. But if shes going to find out than damage control is tres important.

LadyJ

The truth doesn't always come out. Seriously.

Tbh,if my boyf did something like that then I'd probably forgive him but it would still eat away at me,even though I'd know it was just a stupid mistake and then it would wreck the whole relationship. So,if he did it and it really didn't mean anything,then I really wouldn't want to know about it.

That's just me though.

jammie

OP PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE tell her, you're only going to end up trippping yourself up and god knows who this girl knows, chances are she knows someone who knows your gf...Explain it just as you did here and she should understand, as another poster said if its a thing that your gf wouldnt find her pretty etc then she may just accept and move on...If my bf done that I would WANT to know who he kissed etc and only after I've seen her would I either accept it or not..

Good Luck

Caryatnid

cystic5roses wrote:

as another poster said if its a thing that your gf wouldnt find her pretty etc then she may just accept and move on...If my bf done that I would WANT to know who he kissed etc and only after I've seen her would I either accept it or not..

Good Luck

Good grief. Are you saying that the future of your 18 month old relationship, in which you are in love with your bf, would depend on the prettiness of the kissed girl??????
I've never heard anything so ridiculous.

ircoha

Caryatnid wrote:

I've never heard anything so ridiculous.

The whole post is ridiculous, and should be closed. The OP is a piss artist.

This is

'It was like getting punched in the mouth by a champion bare knuckle pikey fighter! '


for that description alone this is the best post ive ever read LOL

Stabshauptmann

ah come on its a clear reference to Snatch, no points for the discription.

shane86

In the unlikely event she says anything, just lie, tell your gf shes some looper who tried maulin you at a party when she was locked and you pushed her off, and she began crying and all. If your gfs mates didnt see you with her your rio grande son

s for other people telling, you have to remember that on a night out if you do something stupid, everyone else is as drunk, and nobodys particularly sure what happened. Im sure everyones woke up after a college or work do and thought "ooohhhh jaysus that was stupid" but, as it turns out, someone else did something so completely and utterly shameful/embarrasing that theyre the talk of the class/office and your off the hook.

Of course, the time eventually comes when you yourself are the drunkest person on a night out and you`re the talk. Happened once in college, in my job 9 months now and it hasnt.....yet

Victor

What happens the next time you are this drunk and blabber out the sordid details in the "wrong" company? :eek:

melekalikimaka

does it count if 'say' you can't remember :rolleyes: