girlfriends ex.....

LegacyUser

my girlfriend has been recieving texts and phone calls from her ex.

they were going out together fore 3 years and it finished sometime last year. we have been going out for 2 months and without sounding corny, were madly in love.

in the calls and texts he firstly said that he wanted to get back together with her. she told him no and told him about me. but now when he calls her (some of which are drunken calls) he says that he wants to meet up for a chat.

i should also point out that im no longer living in the country. im studying in england. my girlfriend txt me the second she got the first message and told me about it cause she doesn't want any secrets.i trust my girlfriend 100%, thats not the issue! the issue is that this fella is harassing my girlfriend and there is nothing i can do about it.

why cant people just move on ?

Red Alert

This problem seems to rear its ugly head too often these days. There's probably little you can do about it, other than to give her support/comfort. These messages can't be very pleasant for her either.

Encourage her to change her number or go to the gardaí if necessary. This type of behaviour is unwarranted.

Dinxminx

You'll have to leave this in the hands of your girlfrind. From what you've said I'm sure she'll be able to be firm with him and tell him to leave her alone.

Carcharodon

Red Alert wrote:

Encourage her to change her number or go to the gardaí if necessary. This type of behaviour is unwarranted.

Extreme to say the least....

You seem to have a good relationship with alot of trust, it can be hard to move on after being with someone for so long so the best option is just to give it time
You must give a bit of sympathy to the other person and realise that sooner rather than later they will realise that they have to move on like yourg/f has

seamus

You must give a bit of sympathy to the other person and realise that sooner rather than later they will realise that they have to move on like yourg/f has

I disagree. Sure, you can have sympathy, but when it's over longer than 6 months, it's about time that the person pissed off.

Sometimes people just don't move on. By engaging him in conversation, this girl is giving air to her ex's hopes/wishes that they'll get back together, encouraging him to keep contacing her.

The best solution is to stop answering him. If he rings, ignore it. If he texts, delete it without reading it. Then he'll get the message quick enough. If he's extra persistent, you warn him that the Gardai will get involved, and if he continues, report him to the Gardai.

Carcharodon

seamus wrote:

I disagree. Sure, you can have sympathy, but when it's over longer than 6 months, it's about time that the person pissed off.

Sometimes people just don't move on. By engaging him in conversation, this girl is giving air to her ex's hopes/wishes that they'll get back together, encouraging him to keep contacing her.

The best solution is to stop answering him. If he rings, ignore it. If he texts, delete it without reading it. Then he'll get the message quick enough. If he's extra persistent, you warn him that the Gardai will get involved, and if he continues, report him to the Gardai.

I agree but i still think the reporting to the gardai is a bit extreme, doesn't sound like they are stalking the person!!

Probably just text the person once stating that its over, moved on etc and are seeing someone else and feel it would be unfair on current b/f if she was to be in contact with him, she should just state that she wont be replying or answering, iam sure they would get the message quickly

Darragh29

Red Alert wrote:

This problem seems to rear its ugly head too often these days. There's probably little you can do about it, other than to give her support/comfort. These messages can't be very pleasant for her either.

Encourage her to change her number or go to the gardaí if necessary. This type of behaviour is unwarranted.

Imagine the scene, "Hi Guard, I want to make a statement, my ex bf is txting me suggesting that we meet up and maybe get back together again, is there anything you can do???". Garda: "Christ that's pure terrorism, we can do him on a section 30 under under the offences against the state act, I'll have the ERU deployed to pick him up with the Army Ranger Wing on stand by, cos this could get nasty"...

Reading the OP on the face of it, it sounds like this girl wants to be in touch with her ex bf. There is no sign that she herself is having difficulty with her ex and herself being in touch. I've said it before on threads and I'll say it again, women can be like monkeys swinging through a jungle when it comes to these things, they won't let go of one branch until they have a good firm grip on the next one. If you are heading off to the UK to study and she is stuck back here on Paddy's green shamrock shore, is there any chance that she is looking to the ex for comfort??? Your OP doesn't mention her making any effort to deal with her ex, or dealing with his txts, which makes me think that this isn't you're straightforward scenario of the ex back on the scene pestering your tormented gf... Sounds to me like she could be still emotionally dependent on him to some degree or another...

Ickle Magoo

OP,

Does your gf feel like she is being bothered in any way or is it just you that is getting annoyed? Tbh, she could put a stop to it immediately if she wanted to - change sims, block his no, tell him to go away, etc, etc...