Finding it hard to watch my girlfriend getting drunk

\m/_(>_<)_\m/

SoberNotJudging wrote:

poisoning my body with alcohol.

SoberNotJudging wrote:

And I see this all around me all the time, and it makes me sad... taking a stroll down temple bar on a Saturday night and seeing all the educated, beautiful, intelligent young people polluting themselves with alcohol and drugs. It's sad that people can't dream or imagine a better life for themselves beyond this.

My views on alcohol are all based on medical fact, and also mind/body/spirit facts that I have discovered myself. I don't have any "issues" with alcohol, but I just hate to see the person I love most going through a process that I see as unnatural and noxious.

i'm afraid you do have issues with alcohol. big issues.
i think the best thing you do is break up with your gf and let her enjoy life with out you moaning to her the morning after ( probably while she still has a hangover ) and you go off and find a nice t-total-er so spent your time with.

all you talk about is your feelings... must be hard for her as well. Constantly having to watch herself around you.

galah

Spitfire666 wrote:

Funny you should add that last part, i was actualy gonna say ,when the OP said "a minimum of 8 vodkas" that that WASNT ALOT but again diff strokes for diff folkes.
also, alot of people would say that having 8 vodkas once every 2 weeks isnt exactly alot of drinking. People dont NEED drink to have fun but it DOES make a night fun at the sme time, you said it yourself that you enjoy being with drunken friends coz its fun how open and str8 talking they are.

See, if someone said they have ONE glass of vodka every night of the week, it would be a different story - but 8 in a night is an awful lot! I don't think there's anything wrong with people drinking alcohol in moderation (although moderation means different things to different people, especially in this country), but why is it that almost everyone on a night out in Ireland needs to get absolutely hammered? Nothing wrong with being a bit tipsy, even a little drunk, but here I find that most people just drink until they are totally incapacitated - and what's worse, it's totally acceptable, and you are almost an outcast if you stop drinking because you feel you had enough.

OP - if you already told her how you feel, and if she acknowledges it, but doesn't do anything about it, then you have to make up your mind about being with her long-term. Or just get used to it, and tolerate it. The problem is, if you keep nagging, she won't feel comfortable, and she'll either blame you for being a killjoy, or break up with you eventually (depending how important alcohol is in her life...)

Maybe just relax a little, and see what happens. Or, as I said, just don't go out with her on these piss-ups.

Or find yourself a foreigner and move to the continent ;-)

LegacyUser

I suppose, for my 2 Cents..

For the OP...
From my point of view, this thread is more about your control or attempted moderation of your GF's behaviour rather than being Anti anything, though the two are linked.

Your evangelical attitude is akin to ex smokers who wish nothing more than for everyone to 'see the light' and stop smoking forthwith.... (terms like "need to get polluted" etc speak volumes here !)...

If you're honest about this, you're already fighting the urge to slap a big
"No drinking" ban on her and make her into the same tox-free spirit you feel yourself to be...



The point your GF is making , subtlely,gently and with great affection is that whilst she acknowledges your point of view she is not willing to change this behaviour for you.

For me, the question you need to ask is "Do I want to be with a woman that drinks". Now, none of us are privvy to how deep or meaningful your relationship is, but reading the first post again I would ask, can you not simply go out with her together on your own and leave her to have her drinks with her mates without you ? There are ways and means to co-exist if you want....

last point..

For me at any rate, love is about accepting the whole person, flaws 'n'all and not looking to change them into the perfect form to mirror one's self... trying to change someone so they 'fit' just ain't gonna work long-term...

Ickle Magoo

Maybe you both need to compromise?

OP,

I think you are one extreme & your girlfriend wanting to go partying & get drunk is at the other end of the spectrum, so perhaps you need to discuss if you can meet somewhere in the middle?

Perhaps, as already suggested, if she wants 8 vodkas she could go out with her friends & only have sober dates with you, alternatively you could bow out of nights out where you think you are going to find yourself bordering on a lecture re the evils of poisoning your body?

Hope things work out

Slutmonkey57b

OP you are totally wasting your time here.

You have to realise that in this country, you are simply not allowed to question the status of alcohol in society. Any suggestion that people might be capable of enjoying themselves without getting pissed will be ridiculed. Any suggestion that alcohol is a drug will be outright rejected. You are the freak, the weirdo, the one with the problem. In the end, you have to decide for yourself whether or not her drinking is worth it. If you can't stand watching her get drunk, just stop going out with her while she gets drunk. Do something else on the weekends with other people instead, and let her decide whether you're worth more than a stomach full of vodka.

To the rest of the posters, if the OP's post had read "My girlfriend uses heroin and speedballs once a week", what would the response be? Universal negativity towards the girlfriend - but because she uses alcohol instead, everyone supports the girlfriend and ridicules the OP. It's her body leave her alone - as long as she's just drinking, right?

Ph3n0m

Slutmonkey57b wrote:

To the rest of the posters, if the OP's post had read "My girlfriend uses heroin and speedballs once a week", what would the response be? Universal negativity towards the girlfriend - but because she uses alcohol instead, everyone supports the girlfriend and ridicules the OP. It's her body leave her alone - as long as she's just drinking, right?

Alcohol is legal - heroin and speedballs aint

Now the negativity towards the OP, in my opinion, stems from his association of drinking alcohol to have some kind of deep rooted problem - as the OP has said he had an issue with alcohol in his youth and choose to stop.

And yes as long as she is drinking, it is her choice. We are talking about going out one night a week (I presume it is every week?) and getting merry/drunk/rotten drunk (op - which would be more consistant?) - we are not talking about a unique case where she is drinking every single day in vast quantities, or where alcohol is affecting her work-life, etc.

We are talking about how one person has a problem with alcohol - based on his past experiences and how he is projecting those same fears, etc onto his current gf - which is unfair to her.

Yes Ireland is predominantly a drinking society - but so what, there are worse things we could be doing to ourselves and each other.

OP - I think you have a choice to make and it is what I said earlier on, put up or shut up. You have already spoken to your gf about your concers (in fact I believe these are your fears). I have to say, I did agree with the ideas (including my suggestion) of going out and doing stuff together, non-drink related, or going off and doing your own thing while she is in the pub with her mates.

While I said in my previous post I do enjoy going out drinking with the odd over-indulgence, I do also enjoy plenty of other non-drink releated activities - but thats is down to choice, not because anyone asked me, or tried to make me choose between them and the bottle (which I think is a silly choice to make, unless you are a raging alco and your drinking is affecting your total lifestyle in a negative way)

OrangeOranges

or am I just being an a$$hole and should just get over myself and go with the flow?

erm!>......

I've know lots of people that dont drink.
Who probably enjoy themselves more as they get full use of their time-off.(minus recovery, hang-over time wasted!).ie they can do the whole pub, niteclub thing and still have a full day of craic and and active lifestyle the next day.

BUT
Ive never heard them preach about "poison" etc etc

It strikes me that you have a little touch of excessive compulsive as regards your attitude to drink!

Its so weird to hear somebody in their mid-twenties talk with an attitude of "my generation", "kids these days"................. You sound like an old man trapped in a young persons body.

Its seems like you put yourself through the rigour of a "Nite-out" just to convince yourself that your strong opinions are "normal" and non-interfering. When actually they are.

Your setting yourself up on a very high pedastal which is the worst quality any person can have if you ask me.

You either need to find a chick that doesnt drink or
find a chick that takes life, health, atttude to drink as seriously as you.

Only after coming away from drink completely did I realise all the deep rooted subconscious reasons for it's use. And I see this all around me all the time, and it makes me sad... taking a stroll down temple bar on a Saturday night and seeing all the educated, beautiful, intelligent young people polluting themselves with alcohol and drugs. It's sad that people can't dream or imagine a better life for themselves beyond this.

Can you even realise how demented this sentence sounds coming from a mid-twenties person.

As for not being Judgemental!! I actually think every single sentence you've mentioned is a judgement on people who drink.

ie it sounds like:

"those foolish foolish young people.........if only they could solve their inner issues.........see the light like I have..........raise themselves up by their bootstraps..............realise the poison poison poison poison.............free you mind young people from this evil thats afflicting our country............."

as opposed to: "no, I dont drink"
Reason: "just not into it, like to stay healthy"
Have an issue with other people drinkin: "no not at all, but have to admit conversation gets a little crap after 12ish!"

Slutmonkey57b

Ph3n0m wrote:

Alcohol is legal - heroin and speedballs aint

And yes as long as she is drinking, it is her choice. We are talking about going out one night a week (I presume it is every week?) and getting merry/drunk/rotten drunk (op - which would be more consistant?) - we are not talking about a unique case where she is drinking every single day in vast quantities, or where alcohol is affecting her work-life, etc.

Legality has nothing to do with my original point - an IV drug user would be able to make the exact same point about how using only at weekends doesn't affect their work or home life. The only difference is that in this society, alcohol is king, and IV drugs are seen as bad. In actual fact, both are bad, but one is socially acceptable (in this country, "mandatory" would be more accurate).

Yes Ireland is predominantly a drinking society - but so what, there are worse things we could be doing to ourselves and each other.

Take a trip to the Casualty one weekend night. You'll see exactly what it does to us and each other.

See OP? I told you you were wasting your time.

Ph3n0m

Slutmonkey57b wrote:

Legality has nothing to do with my original point - an IV drug user would be able to make the exact same point about how using only at weekends doesn't affect their work or home life. The only difference is that in this society, alcohol is king, and IV drugs are seen as bad. In actual fact, both are bad, but one is socially acceptable (in this country, "mandatory" would be more accurate).

Take a trip to the Casualty one weekend night. You'll see exactly what it does to us and each other.

See OP? I told you you were wasting your time.

I have been in casualty at the weekend - and I have to ask - what has that to do with the OP's question. You are not making the distinction between going out for a few socialable drinks and people who go out drinking and looking for a fight or people who drink themselves into oblivion (not unlike the OP used to when he was younger)

As far as we know, his gf is not a constant attendee to A & E.

As for the IV drug user, I'm not even going to retort as that has nothing to do with the original post - but one is socially acceptable and LEGAL, the other is not - so why bother making the comparisson

Slutmonkey57b

Ph3n0m wrote:

I have been in casualty at the weekend - and I have to ask - what has that to do with the OP's question. You are not making the distinction between going out for a few socialable drinks and people who go out drinking and looking for a fight or people who drink themselves into oblivion (not unlike the OP used to when he was younger)

As far as we know, his gf is not a constant attendee to A & E.

Your original comment was about what alcohol does to us as a society, not to the GF as a person. And what alcohol does to us as a society is debilitating, and frankly depressing. (or it would be if you assumed that Irish society was worth something that chronic alcohol abuse could degrade in the first place).

As for the IV drug user, I'm not even going to retort as that has nothing to do with the original post - but one is socially acceptable and LEGAL, the other is not - so why bother making the comparisson

The comparison is quite simple - to reveal Irish society's hypocritical alcohol dependence problem. I predicted that repacing the word "alcohol" with "heroin" would produce a predictably defensive, and nonsensical response, which would fail to address any of the actual differences between one drug and the other, apart from to state that one is "legal and socially acceptable", and the other is not. You have cleverly done exactly that. Clearly, the negative response the OP has gotten has nothing to do with what the GF is doing, and a lot more to do with his questioning of why people should poison themselves into paralysis with alcohol (as opposed to another drug) every weekend. As I said before, questioning of the alcoholic-dependant society is simply not tolerated in this country.

Slutmonkey57b

OrangeOranges wrote:

ie it sounds like:

"those foolish foolish young people.........if only they could solve their inner issues.........see the light like I have..........raise themselves up by their bootstraps..............realise the poison poison poison poison.............free you mind young people from this evil thats afflicting our country............."

as opposed to: "no, I dont drink"
Reason: "just not into it, like to stay healthy"
Have an issue with other people drinkin: "no not at all, but have to admit conversation gets a little crap after 12ish!"

In converse, why can't Irish people respond to
"No thanks, I don't want a drink" with something other than

"What do you mean you don't want a drink?"
"Don't be boring"
"Don't be a drag"
"Ah go on just have the one"
"You're driving? Ah sure you can just have the one glass of wine then"
"What did you come out for then?"
"Why don't you want a drink?"

Surely it should be possible to say "no thanks" without having to launch into an explaination of why, or to justify your choice?

Ph3n0m

Slutmonkey57b wrote:

snip

If you go back and re-read the OP post its not a question about society but about his gf specifically

In fact I find drunk people a lot of fun because they let go of the ego and just let themselves have more fun, and I often go niteclubbing and dancing with people who are drunk and probably on drugs. I don't need to be intoxicated to have fun, but each to their own.

Strange thing is, I regularly watch my friends getting wasted and it doesn't majorly bother me, even though I find the concept of taking alcohol horrific for my own body.

At the beginning of the relationship I knew she was like this, and because I have no problems going out with my drunk friends I thought this would not be an issue at all. Especially seeing as she only does it once a week, or once a fortnight (unlike some of my mates hehe!).

However, because we've been together over 4 months I really care for her... and it is becoming harder and harder for me to stand by and watch her drinking more and more alcohol as the night winds on. After 4 or 5 vodkas she is merry and having lots of fun. If she could leave it at that then I'd be happy, but she can't. She always has to have more and more, and if I say "You're nice and merry now, why not leave it at that and have a sprite", then she makes me feel like I'm putting a dampner on her night, so I just end up going with the flow and let her drink herself to stupidity... which is usually a minimum of 8 vodkas, and can easily go above 10 if some of her hard drinking mates are around (peer pressure and all that). This is becoming more and more painful for me to watch, cos I know how bad this is for the body and the mind, and I can't understand why someone would want to do this to themselves.

It is down to his current lifestyle and trying to get his gf to change her - apologies for getting sidetracked. This is not about him questioning Irish society's mentality towards drinking - it is aimed directly at his gf, her drinking practices and the fact that he wants to change them.

And like others, we have made countless suggestions on what he should do

Ickle Magoo

Slutmonkey57b wrote:

Surely it should be possible to say "no thanks" without having to launch into an explaination of why, or to justify your choice?

Like the gf listened to the OP's issues & said "no thanks" to changing her lifestyle?

Ph3n0m

Slutmonkey57b wrote:

In converse, why can't Irish people respond to
"No thanks, I don't want a drink" with something other than

"What do you mean you don't want a drink?"
"Don't be boring"
"Don't be a drag"
"Ah go on just have the one"
"You're driving? Ah sure you can just have the one glass of wine then"
"What did you come out for then?"
"Why don't you want a drink?"

Surely it should be possible to say "no thanks" without having to launch into an explaination of why, or to justify your choice?

Of course it is easy to do that - hell I do it every so often, and friends of mine do it, when they are driving - guess it also boils down to who you drink with

\m/_(>_<)_\m/

Slutmonkey57b wrote:

In converse, why can't Irish people respond to
"No thanks, I don't want a drink" with something other than

"What do you mean you don't want a drink?"
"Don't be boring"
"Don't be a drag"
"Ah go on just have the one"
"You're driving? Ah sure you can just have the one glass of wine then"
"What did you come out for then?"
"Why don't you want a drink?"

Surely it should be possible to say "no thanks" without having to launch into an explaination of why, or to justify your choice?

my advice is find new friends, because not everybody is like that.

Spastafarian

SoberNotJudging wrote:

Indeed, but I feel that the extent to which someone drinks shows different levels of unhappiness. If someone has a desire to get totally plastered... then I have to ask why. There is a reason, otherwise one would just go out and enjoy being with the people around you, in the place you are, with a clear and peaceful mind. If your mind is full of tensions, then naturally you will want to go running somewhere, escaping somewhere... (of course, this is all subconscious and you usually aren't aware of the process) so you have some drinks.

This is crap. So what you're saying is that everyone who goes out and get drunk every one or two weeks is doing it because they have deep-seeded emotional issues?
Not because it makes you feel good? More talkative? Let loose after the weekend? Generally have more fun (no matter how clear and pure your mind is)?
You're just gonna have to accept that your girlfriend is a normal member of irish society, she'll probably drink less and less gradually as she gets older - but she's certainly not going to stop because you want her to.
If you can't stand to see her drunk, just don't go to the pub with her. It is only a night every one or two weeks after all.

Slutmonkey57b

Ph3n0m wrote:

If you go back and re-read the OP post its not a question about society but about his gf specifically

I didn't say his point, I said your point.

It is down to his current lifestyle and trying to get his gf to change her - apologies for getting sidetracked. This is not about him questioning Irish society's mentality towards drinking - it is aimed directly at his gf, her drinking practices and the fact that he wants to change them.

And like others, we have made countless suggestions on what he should do

And my point is that if he was describing a different drug in the equation, which was having the same net result on his girlfriend's life, he would get a totally different reaction.

Dragan

Slutmonkey57b wrote:

Take a trip to the Casualty one weekend night. You'll see exactly what it does to us and each other.

See OP? I told you you were wasting your time.

Don't get me wrong, I will happily agree with you that on a Friday and Saturday night casuality is full of people who are there, from one connection or another, due to alchohol but, and I know this is crazy, would you believe that the number of people who end up in casuality and lock up down the cop shop over the course of a week is far, far less than the total number of people who go out drinking?

In the same way that you do not like being judged as boring because you do not drink ( and once again I will agree with you, it happens all the time to me when I am going through a non drinking stage ) you are simply sitting there judging people who do drink, or at least that is the impression you are giving off.

Now then, as stated, the OP's girlfriend is not ending up in jail or the ER, or smacking him in the teeth with her shoe. This was not an issue to him when he started seeing her first and was not as emotionally connected.

I don't think it takes a psychologist to figure out what the issue might just be, whether the OP see's it or not???

I also don't see the need for ANYONE to turn the thread into another "oh the woe's of alchohol/whats wrong with alchohol thread". But that’s just me.

MontgomeryClift

It's pretty clear from the responses to this thread that the alcohol problem in Ireland is very deeply rooted. Irish people in general have been profoundly brainwashed into an automatic defence of this drug.

The OP unfortunately has broken free from this denial of cause and effect, and thinks he must be the madman for being different. I'd suspect he might be starting to 'nag' his girlfriend, but it's binge drinking only we're talking about, and not paring her nails in bed, or leaving dirty dishes in the sink, right?

fatboypee

MontgomeryClift wrote:

It's pretty clear from the responses to this thread that the alcohol problem in Ireland is very deeply rooted. Irish people in general have been profoundly brainwashed into an automatic defence of this drug....

Do you really think so ???? :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

nitrogen

neuro-praxis wrote:

My husband and I love a drink most evenings (a beer or a glass of wine), but if he were getting drunk on a weekly or even monthly basis because of binge drinking I would be very concerned as well. I consider regular drunkenness (not simply being merry) a genuine problem. It's one thing to overindulge on a special occasion - it's quite another, in my opinion, to be drunk every week.

Alcohol is a drug. I am quite sure seeing his girlfriend drugged up to the eyeballs every weekend is not nice for the OP who abstains. I hardly think he is judging her because he doesn't like to see her locked out of her face.

Very good balanced reply. Binge drinking is considered 4 pints/glasses of wine (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/4381120.stm ). Irish people are usually shocked at this. In France where the drink of choice is a 'demi' (25cl) of beer in cafes, having roughly nine in one sitting would seem a bit much.

So, I don't think the OP is being selfish and judgemental expressing his concerned thoughts to his GF.

Dragan

MontgomeryClift wrote:

The OP unfortunately has broken free from this denial of cause and effect, and thinks he must be the madman for being different. I'd suspect he might be starting to 'nag' his girlfriend, but it's binge drinking only we're talking about, and not paring her nails in bed, or leaving dirty dishes in the sink, right?

Once again, i didn't see anything in the OP's posts to imply that he doubts his own sanity because he does not drink.

He simply has an issue with his girlfriend getting drunk once a week or once every too weeks. He has not said that she gets paralytic, only drunk.

This does not imply that his girlfriend has a drink problem and the OP should not be advised as such.

The OP has said it to his girlfriend, and she will either act of not act on it. If she does, then great, if not then the OP needs to make the choice of whether her having a drink effects the relationship to the point where he feels he needs to end it.

It's pretty simple.

MontgomeryClift

Dragan wrote:

He simply has an issue with his girlfriend getting drunk once a week or once every too weeks. He has not said that she gets paralytic, only drunk.

This does not imply that his girlfriend has a drink problem and the OP should not be advised as such.

SoberNotJudging wrote:

so I just end up going with the flow and let her drink herself to stupidity

Why is it only a problem if it ends in paralysis?

Getting drunk to stupidity, as in not being able to stop, is a problem. Pretending it's not is part of the denial.

Ph3n0m

I would like to know that those who support the OP - do you drink? and if so to what degree?

greenkittie

I support the OP and i drink far too much myself. I used to find it unbearable to watch my ex get plastered when were together. Part of the reason why we broke up.

Dragan

MontgomeryClift wrote:

Why is it only a problem if it ends in paralysis?

Getting drunk to stupidity, as in not being able to stop, is a problem. Pretending it's not is part of the denial.

Either way my advice still stands.....and i used the term "paralytic" as a slang form, so no need to take it all literal man.

The simple fact is that if she will not change then he needs to decide if he can live with it or not, simple as.

neuro-praxis

Ph3n0m wrote:

I would like to know that those who support the OP - do you drink? and if so to what degree?

I support the OP. I drink, probably every second night, and would have 1.5 - 3 units alcohol at each session, which means I really enjoy a drink or two, without ever getting drunk, or going above the recommended 14 units of alcohol per week recommended for a woman.

I can count on one hand the number of times I've been truly sloshed, and it was always by accident.

3 units is two glasses of wine, or one and a half pints of beer, or three small vodkas. That is the upper limit for a woman in any one day. Drinking above and beyond this is considered binge drinking.

galah

I support the OP, and I only drink in moderation. For me, that is on average about 3 glasses of wine a week (and, shock horror, two of them in ONE night...;-)) But here are weeks where I don't drink alcohol at all - even if i go out.

I used to drink way more when I was a student - but I found out it's just not worth it. The money spent. The hangovers. The nasty feeling of being out of control. You body's reaction to alcohol. Embarrassing stories. Blackouts. It's way nicer to have just one glass of wine (I don't drink beer), relax a little, and have a good time.

I am in no way preaching against booze, and I have been known to be drunk (since that sets in after 2 glasses of wine) - but I find that in Ireland, people simply overdo it. And the perception of what is "a lot" and what not is fairly skewed...(as you can see here)

LegacyUser

Slutmonkey57b wrote:

OP you are totally wasting your time here.

You have to realise that in this country, you are simply not allowed to question the status of alcohol in society. Any suggestion that people might be capable of enjoying themselves without getting pissed will be ridiculed. Any suggestion that alcohol is a drug will be outright rejected. You are the freak, the weirdo, the one with the problem. In the end, you have to decide for yourself whether or not her drinking is worth it. If you can't stand watching her get drunk, just stop going out with her while she gets drunk. Do something else on the weekends with other people instead, and let her decide whether you're worth more than a stomach full of vodka.

To the rest of the posters, if the OP's post had read "My girlfriend uses heroin and speedballs once a week", what would the response be? Universal negativity towards the girlfriend - but because she uses alcohol instead, everyone supports the girlfriend and ridicules the OP. It's her body leave her alone - as long as she's just drinking, right?

Gotta say, I don't particularly think this is a fair comparision either. I made a similar argument in my earlier post but in the other direction. If she was eating chocolate and he couldn't stand watching her because he used to overeat and has since lost weight and become healthy it would again be completely different for some people.

Personally I think it is her choice, drugs / alcohol or chocolate, and if he can't live with it then he should break up with her... of course if it were drugs or she were drinking herself into unconciousness every time then I'd also recommend that he talk to her about getting help. Either way, in a relationship I say that to have to accept that your partner behaviour may not change, now you may become a good influence and it could all work out great but you can't expect that.

As for people not accepting that you can't question drink, don't particularly think that's fair either, my friends are all more than accepting of the fact that I don't drink. Ok when you meet new people they might look at you like you've got 3 heads the first time you say you want a pint of water but I've always found it's only the first time. No-one has ever given me a hard time for not drinking or seemed to have a problem about it...

LegacyUser

More reasons for drinking: Not because it makes you feel good? More talkative? Let loose after the weekend? Generally have more fun (no matter how clear and pure your mind is)?

Sorry, but most of the cases for drinking so far have not been at all convincing. 1. Why do you need to feel good? Do you not feel good already? 2. Why do you feel the need to become "more talkative"? Are you unhappy with YOU as YOU ARE naturally? 3. Why do you feel the need to "let loose"? Do you feel tight, tense, what?

Everything so far proves what I've said about alcohol.

As some people have said, Irish minds have simply been conditioned into accepting something that - when looked at without any other influences - is not a positive or natural process for the human body. The chemical process that takes place through alcohol use is actually poisoning.

Alcohol was responsible for the destruction of my uncles familiy, and in the end it killed him when he was still a young man and had plenty if life left in him. And there are many more families outside of my own that have been affected. A few people I went to chool with commited suicide and in most cases alcohol was linked to it.

Yeah, you can say that everyone is responsible for their own choices, but alcohol actually takes away choice, it makes the mind dull and ruins clear, rational thinking. It destroys happiness and is actually a depressant.

I thought I had accepted all this... but again, seeing someone I love caught up in all this has made me very sad, and concerned. Seeing all the young people (MY age) in the coutry caught up in the process of constant intoxication and running from one mindless entertainment to the next makes me sad... I'm not judging anybody, I just want to see people leave all this $hit behind.

I apologise if I actually made you doubt or consider how important alcohol is to your "social" life... maybe I should just go with the flow...