Heroin addiction

LegacyUser

Thanks to anyone in advance who reads and post some advice.

Hello folks, I don't really know what to say or why I started this thread but i've been smoking heroin for about 6 months and decided to stop and persue my dreams one last time, i'm on my second day of withdrawal and i'm pulling every little bit of strength I have from anywhere. I'm 19 years of age with a fairly hard, eventful life. I'm a decent lad with a good heart, i've never robbed from anyone to feed my habit but lied etc.

This is the last chance I have seize what I want, this is about the third time i've tried but this time i'm alot more serious this time, it came about when I was with my girlfriend 3 nights ago and it was 12:00, the bus didn't come and some junkie started talking to us out of his head, he had a brain like a 10 year old, so I ended up staying in her house and met her parents for the first time. I was looking in the mirror at myself I looked like **** and have lost about 2 stone, I taught to myself what do I want to be, have a decent life or be like that junkie we were talking to. Our familys financial wise are the same, but my family is messed up which is another story.

I've got an apprenticeship starting on monday so this is my last chance to be what I need to be before I honestly give up all together and end it. I'm going to give this 110pc. I told my mother about my addiction and for the first time in 5 years we're getting on and I feel love for her again. All this isn't coming from a little spoiled kid who doesn't know anything or anything like that but this is the little bit of strength I have left honestly.

At christmas time my best friend more or less died in my arms in a car crash where I survived without a scratch so I know god wants me to do this and I know he won't let me fail. I just can't stand this pain any more that's why I started using in the first place, i'm kinda happy I did because it made me realise how serious my situation is and gives me a foundation to build on.

About my new gf, she's liked me since she first met about 3 years ago, we were with each other before and I treated her badly cause I was a kid, but we ended up back together about 3 months ago and she's honestly the only girl i've ever loved but she used to ring/txt me loads of times a day and doesn't do anything like that anymore, she has to be getting sick of me, I don't think she knows I use because I always tell her I don't but i'd say she knows.

I don't know why I started this thread, maybe just to get it off my chest but i'd appreciate any advice.

jonny68

Mate i wish you the best of luck getting off this scummy drug that has caused the death and destruction of so many people i know including some friends,you seriously have to do everything in your power to stop taking this filthy drug for good before it gets a hold of you and your life will be destroyed and will revolve around heroin,at least you've come clean unlike a lot of brass monkeys and admitted you've a problem,ive no idea how much your addicted but after 6 months constant use it looks pretty serious so you've a tough time ahead best thing to do is to go cold turkey don't take that phy shi*e that's even worse than gear,good luck man.;)

withdrawals wrote:

Thanks to anyone in advance who reads and post some advice.

Hello folks, I don't really know what to say or why I started this thread but i've been smoking heroin for about 6 months and decided to stop and persue my dreams one last time, i'm on my second day of withdrawal and i'm pulling every little bit of strength I have from anywhere. I'm 19 years of age with a fairly hard, eventful life. I'm a decent lad with a good heart, i've never robbed from anyone to feed my habit but lied etc.

This is the last chance I have seize what I want, this is about the third time i've tried but this time i'm alot more serious this time, it came about when I was with my girlfriend 3 nights ago and it was 12:00, the bus didn't come and some junkie started talking to us out of his head, he had a brain like a 10 year old, so I ended up staying in her house and met her parents for the first time. I was looking in the mirror at myself I looked like **** and have lost about 2 stone, I taught to myself what do I want to be, have a decent life or be like that junkie we were talking to. Our familys financial wise are the same, but my family is messed up which is another story.

I've got an apprenticeship starting on monday so this is my last chance to be what I need to be before I honestly give up all together and end it. I'm going to give this 110pc. I told my mother about my addiction and for the first time in 5 years we're getting on and I feel love for her again. All this isn't coming from a little spoiled kid who doesn't know anything or anything like that but this is the little bit of strength I have left honestly.

At christmas time my best friend more or less died in my arms in a car crash where I survived without a scratch so I know god wants me to do this and I know he won't let me fail. I just can't stand this pain any more that's why I started using in the first place, i'm kinda happy I did because it made me realise how serious my situation is and gives me a foundation to build on.

About my new gf, she's liked me since she first met about 3 years ago, we were with each other before and I treated her badly cause I was a kid, but we ended up back together about 3 months ago and she's honestly the only girl i've ever loved but she used to ring/txt me loads of times a day and doesn't do anything like that anymore, she has to be getting sick of me, I don't think she knows I use because I always tell her I don't but i'd say she knows.

I don't know why I started this thread, maybe just to get it off my chest but i'd appreciate any advice.

Lorax

Fair play to u! Good luck with the apprenticeship too, the money might be crap starting off but after 1-2 years or so it starts gettin good then when you qualify you'll be on the big bucks!

Ruu_Old

Good for you OP. It took some amount of strength to go and tell your Mam about it. I really hope things start to fall into place for you now. It seems you have a lot of people that care about you so look to them in times of need, I'm sure they will have no problem with that. Stay strong and best of luck with the apprenticeship, gain the experience and don't forget to have some fun in life also. Feel free to post again and let us know how you are getting on, it might help others in similar situations.

BreadBoard

Hi,

First of all your already on the way to recovery by posting this thread. Thank you for being so honest with us and your family.

I've never tried heroin, but it has been in my family since I can remember. I am 27 years of age now my father died when I was 19 at the age of 49 from the result of heroin addiction and my uncle (mothers brother) committed suicide at the age of 29 when I was about 6 as a result of heroin addiction.

My advice to you is seek some help. My uncle (fathers brother) is a socials/drug worker in a place called ARC;

Addiction Response Crumlin (ARC) was established in 1996 in response to what was perceived as a gap in service provision for local people addicted to heroin. The founding members of the ARC project felt that existing statutory services for drug users in the mid-1990s were inadequately structured and resourced to respond to the what was perceived as an escalation in the use of heroin across certain areas of Dublin, including Crumlin. In addition, local people in the Crumlin area were personally affected by a number of drug related deaths of family members. While the presence of a number of prominent heroin dealers residing in the Crumlin area at the time (mid 1990s) was perceived to add to the problem, insofar as they attracted heroin users from outside, giving rise to an enhanced visibility of drug dealing while ensuring a steady supply of heroin to the local residents that were using the drug. Furthermore a study carried out in 1995 (Boldt, 1995) revealed that drug use was seen as Crumlin's biggest problem not only by local people but also by local statutory and voluntary service providers. The founding members of ARC felt that existing statutory services for drug addicts were impersonal and in appropriate and decided to set up their own programme. The overall objective of the ARC project is to support drug users and their families from the Crumlin area and to assist drug users re-integrate back into the local community. An evaluation of the project (1999) found that nearly three quarters of clients surveyed (72%) had progressed to a more stable habit or had become drug free. Almost half the clients (48%) were on methadone and about a quarter (27%) had become drug free. However, almost a quarter (24%) had not changed their drug using behaviour. In relation to social gain, the evaluation found that almost nine out of ten clients (89%) reported an improvement in the quality of thei r lives since attending ARC. The evaluation also indicated that clients experienced an improvement in relation to employment and education as a result of attending ARC. Almost 7 out of 10 clients (69%) were unemployed at the time of admission however unemployment among clients fell by over 20% since they started ARC. In relation to education 16% attended an education or training programme since attending ARC. In addition, all drug free clients and eight out of ten (80%) of drug using clients claimed that their health had improved since attending ARC. The project has developed a specific educational and training phase to provide stabilised clients with the skills necessary to access employment opportunities. This is known as the Athru phase. In the first year of the three-year, post-stabilisation educational and training phase through the ATHRU programme the project focuses on stabilising the individual and preventing relapse by dealing with addiction through personal development and building self-esteem/confidence. It introduces modules in numeracy and literacy, as well as leisure pursuits such as swimming, art and drama. Year two continues to focus on dealing with addiction and prevention of relapse but broadening out the academic and vocational training modules and also incorporates classes on food and nutrition, anger management, consumer awareness and effective parenting skills. In year three the focus is on taking practical steps to independence by preparing the client for work experience through CV development and liasing with training and employment agencies to assist the individuals to gain further formal skills and/or employment. ARC recognises that at any of the above stages a participant can relapse into addiction and therefore throughout the programme attention is given to their addiction in the form of relapse prevention, counselling, group work and one to one support.

Moe info here - http://eddra.emcdda.europa.eu/pls/eddra/ShowQuest?Prog_ID=1470

• Address; Addiction Response Crumlin (ARC), 101 Cashel Road, Crumlin
• Postal Code 12
• City Dublin
• Country Ireland

I wish you well and I hope you get back to being you asap

Dave!

Fair play to ye man, give this everything you've got, it'll be hard but once you get through it you'll be able to have a good life, rake in the cash in whatever trade you're going into, and have a family, kids, etc.

It'll be great Good luck to ye, keep us posted

Fajitas!

Well done. Try get some help though, and the best of luck.

Blub2k4

Best advice I can give you if you want to stay off it is to stop hanging around in the places and with the people where you get it, it sounds obvious, but change your playground and change your playmates. If you are in close contact with it it'll be very hard to get off.

Best of luck with it, I've been clean since 1997, so it is possible.

Miss Fluff

Your mate dying in the car crash must have been terrible for you, you poor thing. You are fortunate enough to have the choice now whether you continue to live or die so think of it as doing this for him also.

You sound like a decent, honest human being with lots to offer the world, focus on that love and support that is there from your Mum and your GF (and don't worry that she doesn't text/phone constantly - she may not feel the need to when she knows you love her the way you do) and look forward to this wonderful opportunity that this apprenticeship will give you too.

There is a new life out there ready for you to grab by the balls so go get it!

If you get low and need to talk these guys are good, Narcotics Anonymous: Tel. 01 8300944.

Please let us know how you are doing, Good Luck and Well Done

LegacyUser

Get a little professional help.
Don't fight it on your own.
Good luck !

Beruthiel

withdrawals wrote:

This is the last chance I have seize what I want, this is about the third time i've tried but this time i'm alot more serious this time.

You are young and have so much going for you right now.
In order to give yourself the very best chance possible to kick this habit, please get professional help to get you through it. Take each hour at a time. If needs be, take each 5 mins at a time. Keep sight of your end goal.
best of luck.

tbh

withdrawals wrote:

Thanks to anyone in advance who reads and post some advice.

Hello folks, I don't really know what to say or why I started this thread but i've been smoking heroin for about 6 months and decided to stop and persue my dreams one last time, i'm on my second day of withdrawal and i'm pulling every little bit of strength I have from anywhere. I'm 19 years of age with a fairly hard, eventful life. I'm a decent lad with a good heart, i've never robbed from anyone to feed my habit but lied etc.

This is the last chance I have seize what I want, this is about the third time i've tried but this time i'm alot more serious this time, it came about when I was with my girlfriend 3 nights ago and it was 12:00, the bus didn't come and some junkie started talking to us out of his head, he had a brain like a 10 year old, so I ended up staying in her house and met her parents for the first time. I was looking in the mirror at myself I looked like **** and have lost about 2 stone, I taught to myself what do I want to be, have a decent life or be like that junkie we were talking to. Our familys financial wise are the same, but my family is messed up which is another story.

I've got an apprenticeship starting on monday so this is my last chance to be what I need to be before I honestly give up all together and end it. I'm going to give this 110pc. I told my mother about my addiction and for the first time in 5 years we're getting on and I feel love for her again. All this isn't coming from a little spoiled kid who doesn't know anything or anything like that but this is the little bit of strength I have left honestly.

At christmas time my best friend more or less died in my arms in a car crash where I survived without a scratch so I know god wants me to do this and I know he won't let me fail. I just can't stand this pain any more that's why I started using in the first place, i'm kinda happy I did because it made me realise how serious my situation is and gives me a foundation to build on.

About my new gf, she's liked me since she first met about 3 years ago, we were with each other before and I treated her badly cause I was a kid, but we ended up back together about 3 months ago and she's honestly the only girl i've ever loved but she used to ring/txt me loads of times a day and doesn't do anything like that anymore, she has to be getting sick of me, I don't think she knows I use because I always tell her I don't but i'd say she knows.

I don't know why I started this thread, maybe just to get it off my chest but i'd appreciate any advice.

mate if you can find the strength and courage to write a post like that, you're obviously made of the right stuff. Sound to me like this is something you'll need help with, so don't be afraid to ask for it. I really really hope you make it, if I could give you any good luck I'm due in the next year I really would.

Odysseus

Hi mate, I can only second what others have said, contact NA and try some meeting, but just as important contact your local HSE Addiction Service and seek some counselling/therapy. All I will say about NA is you will get great support there, but remember they are not a professional service, so don't think all they advice will work, NA is where people share there personal experience, and some of this will be relavent to you and some not. Six months is a short time, but that does not mean it will be easy, and you may need to spend some time in therapy, to explore further what you ended up on heroin. Best of luck with it.

Black Swan

Here's wishing you strength and success!

Vorsprung

I don't think it's been mentioned, but if you are having trouble with withdrawal, the methadone programme is there for you as well. You just take it once a day, and people would never know that you're on it. Your Gp sould have more info on that.

Best of luck!

LegacyUser

Thanks to anyone who has posted, boredom and paranoia are really getting to me but i'm not going to touch another drug as long as I live. I just hope to god for once in me poxy life that this works out for me. This is my third day now and I haven't slept since.

I know 6-7 months isn't a huge amount of time but I was taking alot every day and abusing other drugs daily for about 4-5 years before that.

jonny: I'm not going near phy or anything, just going cold turkey and getting this **** over with m8!

I told my GF about me problem and as much as I love her if she's not going to believe me and stick with me as one of the posters said i'm made of the right stuff, causing me quite a bit of paranoia this is aswell tbh. She said I swore to her before I wouldn't touch it again but I really mean it this time not that I didn't then but this is the end of me being an eejit. She said she hasn't changed etc, maybe me head is just completely messed up. I ask her if she wanted to come out today and she was saying she didn't know etc, same story with tommorow, she's proberly loosing intrest. Maybe it's me head but one thing's for sure I never let a girl make an eejit out of me before and i'm not going to start now...

I just hope to god this works out for me, I don't want the only good thing my life to fall apart as usual.

I'm starting to feel slightly better and hoping for a bit of sleep tonight.

I suppose I just have to take everything life throws at me and take it like a ****ing man for once

One last thing if there's any other ex-addicts here does it make you paranoid as **** or is it just me?

Once again, thanks for the advice you don't understand how much it's helping me

tinkerbell

Best of luck in your recovery, take each day at a time. You sound like you really want to stop, it's that kinda attitude that helps people fight their addictions.

Good luck.

whyamihere?

good luck man, a close cousin of mine recently kicked a serious coke addiction, all drugs are different and they affect people in different ways but she was getting paranoia attacks for a while after. keep in contact with people, keep talking, withdrawing socially makes it a lot harder (which is what happened to her), come back to this thread if things get hard for you

LegacyUser

withdrawals wrote:

Thanks to anyone in advance who reads and post some advice.

Hello folks, I don't really know what to say or why I started this thread but i've been smoking heroin for about 6 months and decided to stop and persue my dreams one last time, i'm on my second day of withdrawal and i'm pulling every little bit of strength I have from anywhere. I'm 19 years of age with a fairly hard, eventful life. I'm a decent lad with a good heart, i've never robbed from anyone to feed my habit but lied etc.

This is the last chance I have seize what I want, this is about the third time i've tried but this time i'm alot more serious this time, it came about when I was with my girlfriend 3 nights ago and it was 12:00, the bus didn't come and some junkie started talking to us out of his head, he had a brain like a 10 year old, so I ended up staying in her house and met her parents for the first time. I was looking in the mirror at myself I looked like **** and have lost about 2 stone, I taught to myself what do I want to be, have a decent life or be like that junkie we were talking to. Our familys financial wise are the same, but my family is messed up which is another story.

I've got an apprenticeship starting on monday so this is my last chance to be what I need to be before I honestly give up all together and end it. I'm going to give this 110pc. I told my mother about my addiction and for the first time in 5 years we're getting on and I feel love for her again. All this isn't coming from a little spoiled kid who doesn't know anything or anything like that but this is the little bit of strength I have left honestly.

At christmas time my best friend more or less died in my arms in a car crash where I survived without a scratch so I know god wants me to do this and I know he won't let me fail. I just can't stand this pain any more that's why I started using in the first place, i'm kinda happy I did because it made me realise how serious my situation is and gives me a foundation to build on.

About my new gf, she's liked me since she first met about 3 years ago, we were with each other before and I treated her badly cause I was a kid, but we ended up back together about 3 months ago and she's honestly the only girl i've ever loved but she used to ring/txt me loads of times a day and doesn't do anything like that anymore, she has to be getting sick of me, I don't think she knows I use because I always tell her I don't but i'd say she knows.

I don't know why I started this thread, maybe just to get it off my chest but i'd appreciate any advice.

My cousin was murdered age 21 in dublin city centre over Heroin for the sake of a few hundred ....she lost her life so young, she was a vibrant young gorgeous girl...went down the wrong slippery slope just when she was 19 .....

its hard to believe that it can happen to you.........its not just something u see on telly or read in the paper but happened in my family ... not all of us knew so it was a shock to me......

im so glad OP that you have posted here...it makes me think that you certainly have a lot of hope in yourself.... that you will beat this & do all the positive things you mentioned.......your not that far gone that you have resorted to really hurting the people around u ... stealing...i wont go on ......you never want that to happen....Cos those bad times u cant take back.....

It has to get better and will get better and i think you definitely have the strength & the willpower cos you have your family who love you, your girlfriend who you so care about..... and there are people out there in dublin tonight homeless with no family.... no roof over their heads......i could go on and on..... but you have a ****in great chance of a job in a trade where you can.... if you work hard.......... make a lot of money and jesus who knows run your own business ......the building trade is booming!

Just dont **** up your life.... your only 19......!

Ill be following ur posts, so i hope u keep posting......u CAN do it...and to be honest id say you will x

Blub2k4

To the OP, personally I didn't have issues with paranoia, shame and guilt were the main emotions I found I had when I was using, I gave up the first time that I stole something to feed my habit, that was an indication to me that my life was upside down, cos stealing is not something I ever did.

Everyone has their own reasons, I'd also say you should go to the professionals for some help, get clean first though cos they can't do a lot for you until then.
I'd say personally don't bother with Phy, but if you find it really hard they can give you naltrexone or the like to block opiates from your system, so heroin can't get to the places that it needs to go to give you a high and even if you take gear it won't affect you.

But talk to a professional, consider NA, but it may not be for you.

You're on the right track, you know it, keep it up.