Some real complaints that the council has received.......

Love2love

1. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.

2. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.

3. ...............and their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.

4. I wish to report that the tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof, I think it was that bad wind the other night that blew them off.

5. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.

6. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path, my wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.

7. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and the rest are plain filthy.

8. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.

9. Will you please send a man to look at my water; it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.

10. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces

11. I want to complain about the farmer across the road, every morning at 6:00am his cock wakes me up and its now getting too much for me.

12. The man next door has a large erection in the garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.

13. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two small children and would like a third so please send someone round to do something about it.

14. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man I have on top of me every night.

15. ...........so please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.

16. I have had the clerk of the works down on the floor six times but I still have had no satisfaction.

17. My bush is really overgrown round the front and I think it is causing unsightly fungus in my back passage.

18. .........He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it any more.

Archeron

Very good. Great to see some new ones of those.

Oriel

........OMG!!!!11 LOLZ!!!!! LOLZ!!!!! and their REAL?!?!?! OMFG!!!
HAHAHAHAHHAAA LOL!!!!!!!1...............

gerTheGreat

sinecurea wrote:

........OMG!!!!11 LOLZ!!!!! LOLZ!!!!! and their REAL?!?!?! OMFG!!!
HAHAHAHAHHAAA LOL!!!!!!!1...............

less sugar for you...good find though

mjbo

Brilliant....just shows you need to re-read what you write !!

Kojak

Lol.

kittenkiller

Class!
Must return to my serious 'work' face now before people figure out what I'm up to though.

Demetrius

The sink one made me burst out laughing for real. Thanks OP.:)

fun bus

hillarious! really enjoyed all of them!

MrsA

That gave me a great laugh - thank you!!

Heisenberg.

This post has been deleted.

A Primal Nut

Love2love wrote:

1.7. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and the rest are plain filthy.

That one is funny for two completely different reasons.