The Alternative Tech support

Topcat101 · 26-09-2006 9:52am #1

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
slow down in the performance of the flower and jewelry applications that
had
operated flawlessly under the Boyfriend 5.0 system. In addition,
Husband
1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9, but
installed undesirable programs such as NFL 7.4, NBA 3.2 and NHL 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 also no longer runs and Housecleaning 2.6 simply
crashes
the system. I 've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but
to
no avail.
What can I do?

Signed, Desperate ***************************

Dear Desperate, First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 was an
entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try
to
enter the command C:/I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and install Tears 6.2.
Husband

1.0 should then automatically run the applications: Guilt 3.3 and
flowers
7.5. But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to such
background applications as Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour
7.0, or Beer 6.1.

Please remember that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create
SnoringLoudly.WAV files. DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 or reinstall
another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and
will
crash Husband 1.0. It could also potentially cause Husband 1.0 to
defaultto the program: Girlfriend 9.2, which runs in the background and
has
been known to introduce potentially serious viruses into the Operating
System.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a
limited
memory and can' t learn new applications quickly. You might consider
buying
additional software to enhance his system performance. I personally
recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Single Malt Scotch 4.5 combined with such
applications as that old stand-by...
Lingerie 6.9. which might improve the performance of his hardware.

Good Luck, Tech Support