The rules of cricket

Marksie

I am always being asked what the hell is cricket about and what are the rules.
So for all those wondering (or who couldnt care less) here are the rules simplified..easy!



The Rules of Cricket

You have two sides, one out in the field and one in.

Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out.

When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side thats been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out.

Sometimes you get men still in and not out.

When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in.

There are two men called umpires who stay out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out.

When both sides have been in and all the men have out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game!

Chinafoot

lol I like it.

Any game where you stop for 'tea' is not a sport!

gerTheGreat

Is it worng that i could make sence of that:D

sgarvan

probably

but so could i.

very good

goreill2

Hmm.. I thought the rules were fairly simple...

No jews
No blacks

Chinafoot

goreill2 banned for a week.

Sam Vimes

peachypants wrote:

goreill2 banned for a week.

seriously? it was a joke and a quote from family guy (i think it was family guy. they were playing golf instead of cricket)

edit:
yeah, it was family guy. its on this page:http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0182576/quotes

the page wrote:

Brian Griffin: I'm really enjoying playing golf.
Peter Griffin: You know my great-great-grandfather Angus Griffin invented the game.
[flashback]
Angus Griffin: So, we're all clear on the rules then. No Jews and no blacks.
Scottish men: Aye.

Kojak

Nice one.

Steoob

Commander Vimes wrote:

seriously? it was a joke and a quote from family guy (i think it was family guy. they were playing golf instead of cricket)

edit:
yeah, it was family guy. its on this page:http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0182576/quotes

ya boo

Chinafoot

Fine then. I wasn't aware it was a quote. Just seemed like a racist comment to me. Perhaps in future people could reference such quotes as, to be fair, racism goes against the charter and it's something that I won't tolerate - and I don't memorise Family Guy quotes

Ban lifted. Carry on.

Sam Vimes

peachypants wrote:

Fine then. I wasn't aware it was a quote. Just seemed like a racist comment to me. Perhaps in future people could reference such quotes as, to be fair, racism goes against the charter and it's something that I won't tolerate - and I don't memorise Family Guy quotes

Ban lifted. Carry on.

thanks peachypants. its nice to see a mod who can lift a ban when new evidence comes to light, unlike others who shall remain nameless
/gives xxxx the evil eye

Chinafoot

Commander Vimes wrote:

thanks peachypants. its nice to see a mod who can lift a ban when new evidence comes to light, unlike others who shall remain nameless
/gives xxxx the evil eye

lol

No problem. It's the humour forum after all. 'Tis supposed to be fun

Now I'm off to brush up on my Family Guy quotes...

Capt'n Midnight

peachypants wrote:

lol I like it.

Any game where you stop for 'tea' is not a sport!

There are only three sports. Fishing, shooting and hunting. The rest are merely games.

* sticks in a quote *

Ernest Hemingway wrote:

There are only three sports: Bullfighting, Motoracing and Mountaineering. The rest are merely games.

de5p0i1er

Man that just give me a head ache.

Mad Dog

marksuttonie wrote:

I am always being asked what the hell is cricket about and what are the rules.
So for all those wondering (or who couldnt care less) here are the rules simplified..easy!



The Rules of Cricket

You have two sides, one out in the field and one in.

Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out.

When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side thats been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out.

Sometimes you get men still in and not out.

When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in.

There are two men called umpires who stay out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out.

When both sides have been in and all the men have out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game!

Makes perfect sense to me

Ruu_Old

peachypants wrote:

lol I like it.

Any game where you stop for 'tea' is not a sport!

Agreed.

On topic, good joke.

goreill2

No! You were right the first time. I should have been banned.

But it is exactly this sort of flip-flopping, evidence reading, nonsense talking, fun having liberal nonsense that is making this country so vulnerable to terrorists.

Wishbone Ash

Apologies for being pedantic but cricket is governed by laws, not rules.

Capt'n Midnight

Cricket has a silly point. It's marked s below.

   .---------------------------------------------. 
  /                "off side"                     \  1 1st slip 
 |                                                 |  2 2nd slip 
 |  l-              cv    cp                 3m    |  3 3rd slip 
 |            ec              p  g                 |  4 4th slip 
 |                                  4              |  5 leg slip 
 |               m-                  3             |  cv cover 
 |                                    2            |  p point 
 |                            s       1            |  g gully 
 |           B->>     ||-------||   Wk             |  f forward - 
 |                   U||-------||                  |    short leg 
 |                            f    5               |  s silly point 
 |                                           fine  |  dl deep fine/ 
 |               m+                            |   |     square leg 
 |                                             |   |  3m 3rd man 
 |  l+                   mw                   dl   |  l+ long on 
 |                            sl              /    |  l- long off 
 |                            U              /     |  mw mid-wicket 
 |                                         square  |  sl square leg 
 |            "leg side"                           |  m+ mid on 
 |                                                 |  m- mid off 
 `\           field positions for RHB X           /'  cp cover-point 
   `---------------------------------------------'    ec extra-cover

Wishbone Ash

Capt'n Midnight wrote:

Cricket has a silly point.

Silly mid off and silly mid on.:)

One can also bowl a maiden over.