Whats my next move?

LegacyUser

Hi Guys,

Just want advice on what my next “move” should be?

I have a friend called Paul that I used to work with about 6 years ago. We knew each other quite well, but not all that close. But we lost contact for a good few years .

Recently we have been meeting up and going 2/3 gigs/plays etc. He is not really a close friend at all, but I enjoy meeting up etc.

Anyway went to play this week with a couple of his friends that I had never met. In the group was a very pretty woman, Mary who is one of Paul’s work colleagues. Even though it was only one night and we were not in company all that long I think we really “hit it off”.

We were talking for much of the night, and definitely towards the end of the night she seemed to be really enjoying my company and seemed pretty interested in my work/life etc. At the end of the night we shaked hands and there was a long lingering smile.

Anyway I might be wrong about all the above and she might not be interested in me at all, but I would not mind asking her out for coffee etc to find out.

But I have no contact number etc for her.

Some options maybe?

1. I could ask Paul for her number. However I am not sure if he is in to her (he did ask her out on this night). Secondly I am kind of worried that he would think me a complete sleaze. The first female friend he brings out on one of these nights out and I am asking for her number!

2. I obviously know her job cause it’s the same as his. If I rang that job and asked directly for her email address and contacted her “over his head” would that be rude/cheeky and a bit forward.

3. I could keep my powder dry wait for the next time we meet up and hope that she comes out?

Anyway all advice welcome. I am in a bit a bad loosing streak with women at the mo, so I am threading careful with each move.

AngryBadger

I'd be inclined to wait and see if you happen to be out with her again. If you ask Paul for her number, you're involving him, and whether he's interestedin ehr or not, that could get emssy. Ringing her at work, that seems a bit bunny boiler-ish to me. Each to their own and all that, but if someone I barely knew rang me at work to ask me out I'd turn them down like last springs bed linen!

ams

Maybe if you arrange a night out it wouldnt seem like such a big thing to tell him to bring her and whoever else was out that night along with him.

greenkittie

Sit and wait.

petes

greenkittie wrote:

Sit and wait.

Yes. Because that will always work. OP ask your mate for her number if he isn't already diddling her.

wyndham

Notsure wrote:

3. I could keep my powder dry wait for the next time we meet up and hope that she comes out?

This is a good option, depending on how long you may have to wait and whether that 'ship may have sailed' by then?

kittenkiller

I'd pick door number three Bob!
But maybe arrange the night yourself.
Did she mention anything in particular she'd be interested in going to? You could arrange to do something like that.
It'd mean she'd definately be interested in coming along & it might drop the hint to her that's you're interested in her.

I'd say act quickly though & perhaps ask Paul what her situation is or "happen" to bring her up in conversation to test the waters a bit.

LegacyUser

Thanks guys, looking like 4 posters saying wait and see, 1 saying ask Paul for number. Which I think a bit strange normally advice here tends to be of the "take the bull by its horns" variety.

In terms of her situation she is defo single. After she left the other night she came up in conversation with the lads that were left. One guy asked Paul is there anything "going on" between them and he said nope.

So maybe I should see if there is anything coming up soon and throw it out to him as a possible night out, it would be much easier even if I had her email so I could send the invitation to her as well.

Whatcha think?

I Shot J.R.

If theres nothing going on at all between your friend and her, then get him to casually drop your name into conversation when hes talking to her about that night out. If he says she gives no reaction, then just send her 12 red roses with a note and a picture of you to her workplace and put on the note "I thought we got on great that (whatever it was) night, would you like to meet for a coffee/drink/cinema some time? your name 08x 1234567"
Worth a shot, sure you could cross the road tomorrow and get a slap of a bus and never know what might have happened!