Lost, Paranoid, Depressed

LegacyUser

ok, basically, bf of 7months just dumped me without good reason. I didn't see it coming, I thought everything was perfect with us, it felt perfect, I loved him completely, and he adored me, or so I thought...I never told him I loved him, due to nerves of scaring him off, he'd never been in a relationship of more than a few months, and I thought that it was important that he had been with me so long, but I still didn't want to run any risk of losing him.

We both recently moved for college and as a result are living closer together thatn when at home. We didn't get to see eachother everyday as both of us were working all summer and were both in diferet colleges when we got together as we still are. Even though we weren't together everyday we seen eachother a few times a week, (about three) and spoke everyday.

I have trust issues (I know I know, clichéd) but they exist, andit wasn't that I didn't trust him it was that I didn't trust other girls around him, because even though we were together we still had seperate lives, we weren't at all tied to each other. There was one incident one night with him and a girl I know who has a reputation, so I warned her to stay away, this pissed both him and her, him, that I didn't trust him and her that I thought she'd do tat to me. We sorted this out and everything was fine.

Then we were out recently and he spent the night talking to a girl he's apparently known since he was a kid, I wouldn't have minded this aside from the fact that I knew no one else there and he as good as ignored me for the whole night...I spoke to him the next day about it but he didn't say a huge amount, so I left it thinking we'd sort it out properly during the week. So a few days later he rings me to meet up, me delighted as ever at the prospect of spending time with him runs merrily along, only to get there and be told it's over, we don't have time for eachother.

If it had have been "things aern't working out for us and things are just gonna get harder" I may have understood it more but just to be that blunt, and that cold, it was completely out of character for him. It's been over a week now, I haven't gone back into college, just stayed in my room crying, I'm not sleeping, not eating. I tried to eat but jsut as I was about to I jokingly said I couldn't because it was something he didn't like, and it all hit me again, and I burst into tears again.

I feel completely lost in life, like NOTHING matters at all. I don't even know why I'm writing this I just feel I have to...I suppose I want to know what comes next, do I try remain friends with him or cut him out altogether...

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

circles wrote:

I have trust issues (I know I know, clichéd) but they exist, andit wasn't that I didn't trust him it was that I didn't trust other girls around him, because even though we were together we still had seperate lives,

Then we were out recently and he spent the night talking to a girl he's apparently known since he was a kid, I wouldn't have minded this aside from the fact that I knew no one else there and he as good as ignored me for the whole night...I spoke to him the next day about it but he didn't say a huge amount, so I left it thinking we'd sort it out properly during the week.

OK. First the highlighted bits, then the advice.

1 - This is unfair of you. If you trust him, then you trust him to say no to girls coming onto him. If you don't trust them, then you fear something will happen between them, and don't REALLY trust your boyfriend.

2 - This is very unfair of him. He should have introduced you and drawn you into the conversation. Possibly kept it brief. You have every right to be angry here.

Advice? It sounds like he may have difficulty being friends and the way he broke it off was unfair too. There is, unfortunaltely, no magic wand to wave here, but time does heal woulds. You'll bounce back, don't worry, but give it a bit of time. Spoil yourself a little if you need to.

(EDIT: Upon reading thread title, you don't sound all that paranoid, lost or depressed.... Just a little "down" following the break up whcih is normal.)

Heisenberg.

This post has been deleted.

dr.bollocko

To be blunt, and this is not a criticism, just a note based on personal experiences.
I think you might fall in love too easy.
Lots of people have a tendancy to fall deep and quickly, and with such highs of elation come the inevitable lows of rejection. Its not something to malign, or for you to feel bad about, but obviously, you know when you are worried about blurting out the three littles and crying in your room for a week without eating, you must know your emotional responses are a bit heightened compared to most others. Again this is nothing to worry about, people are different.
You shouldnt be afraid to be you and express what you feel like you want to, and when you meet the right person it will be easy for the two of ye to fall in love, and actually saying the words won't matter.
He's just some bloke, you are still a good person, and its time now to give yourself a break and realise that.
Sometime soon someone will fall for you like you have fallen for this guy, but its nothing to regret or feel depressed about.
Pick a reason to feel good about yourself right now, look in the mirror and just see a person that has a valid existence, a person that will get up and move on beyond this guy.

vorbis

slightly harsh. Sounds like the bf might have been thinking about ending it for a while. You're allowed some time to mope after the breakup of a relationship.

free2fly

After a breakup there is a grieving period, so what you are experiencing is normal. But you need to pick yourself up now and get on with your life. It's ok to cry. In fact, it's good to cry. It's a cleansing of sorts. But don't let this take over your entire life. Go back to school. Do something to take your mind off of things. Immerse yourself in your studies. You will be amazed what being busy can do for you. And do something nice for yourself. Treat yourself to a new hairstyle or buy yourself a new outfit. You will be ok you know It will just take some time.