Going away without girlfriend

LegacyUser

Ok so i met this girl about 4 months ago and i explained to her at the time that i was going away to Oz for a year in December and that was grand and we said we wouldnt take it too strong but the opposite has happened and i really like her as she does me and now she giving me the whole "why do u have to go away" and "did u even give a second thought when u put the money down" but i'm definitely going as ive been planning this for well over a year, do u think i'm doing the right thing?

cance

its one simple question really,

what is more important to you? your trip or your gf? your answer to that will tell you. have you thought of work arounds like going together etc?

at the end of the day do what makes you happy.

Kell

Going Away wrote:

and now she giving me the whole "why do u have to go away" and "did u even give a second thought when u put the money down"

Sounds clingy TBH. Is she quite serious when she points this out (me shudders)

Going Away wrote:

do u think i'm doing the right thing?

Of course you are. You might as well actually end it now before going to save yourself the indecision/guilt when sex gets handed to you on a plate while away. Theres no point in saving yourself solely for someone you only met four months ago.

K-

Chinafoot

You told her from the beginning you were going away for a year so, to be fair, she can't really complain too loudly about this.

Having spent a year in Australia I can hand on my heart say that if you stay here for a girl you met 4 months ago you will more than likely regret missing out on the opportunity and possibly resent her for it. It's an amazing experience and I would recommend it to anyone.

Yes it'll be tough to leave her when it comes down to it, but you both knew this was going to happen when you got together.

If you really care about her and want to stay with her then you both need to discuss what way things will be when you go away. Are you both going to remain faithful? Are you going to call things off while you're away and see what happens when you get back? Is there any way she can go with you? Or perhaps come out to see you in a few months time?

It is possible to survive the year away if you both really want to make the effort and, for you at least, the year will fly by.

daiixi

I left a boyfriend to go travelling for six months in 2002 and I'm still travelling. I actually decided to go travelling after we'd been together for six months (he wouldn't come with) and although my decision hurt both of us at the time, four years on I think it was the right decision and so does he.
That said it's different for everyone, but I wouldn't give up the past few years for anything or anyone.

LegacyUser

Cheers for the replys lads, no she wasnt pointing the finger at me she just had a few drinks and kinda got a few things off her mind, we'll she said she cant see herself getting into a relationship while i'm away and i wont either as i know i will be travelling for most of it so its not as if i can. we'll just keep in contact every week or so and see how things are progressing, its a pitty though cause the one time in my life i get into a relationship with a girl i like and it will come to a halt

snb

I went away for four months to Canada & my boyf to Southern US. We managed to keep everything on track & still really enjoy our time travelling with our respective friends.

Another set of friends spent 6 months part while she travelled Oz & are still together.

Another friend is going travelling for 6 months without her financee as he has already been & has to stay in ireland for work

If you really like this girl, you can make it work.

Also, if this is some thing you really want to do, she should be able to support you, though granted, it won't be easy.

I would never change those 4 months I did.........

melekalikimaka

best of luck, i've done that with a shorter time span, just remember people can change alot in a year

Black Swan

You can try to stay in touch with her. Emails are cheap, as is chat.

Dubsta

Personally I think you should go, and if you really miss her while out there then think of a work around. Im not long back from oz and I had the time of my life, it was somthing I really needed to get out of my system. And the gas thing was that when I came back, everything was still the same, the same people the same craic and also the same MEN! (Obv Vice Versa) So my advice is go go go! As I said if you miss her when your gone, you will make the decison then, but seriously the time away is for YOU!

Hope you make the right decison!

melekalikimaka

Blue_Lagoon wrote:

You can try to stay in touch with her. Emails are cheap, as is chat.

oh god please dont say that...email is the worst form of communication, ring once a week or something, emails aren't the best when wires get crossed and that...bad BAD experiences with emails...especially when drunk

Ruu_Old

I reckon you should go, it could make your relationship stronger. Keep communicating, make a log of your travels and then read it back to your partner when you get back. What I used to do when away is write a letter in a book, send it to the wifey and then she would read it, write the letter in the book, then mail it back to me. This would continue until I was back again and we would read them to each other. Ah thats just my romantic rubbish, enjoy yourself and best of luck.