15 year old - never been with a girl

LegacyUser

im 15 and ive never been with a girl. i'd really like to but i just cant get comfortable talking to girls.

i have trouble enough trying to make new male friends but i dont know why. its not that i'm not "cool" or anything - ive been described as sound or funny.

also, i'm not exactly the best looking and i dont do any sports (i'm not fat - just not very fit/athletic).

I'm not really that friendly with any of the girls in my school - i could manage a chat during class or sumtin but nuthin too serious


also im sorta afraid of rejection - all the girls i like are popular enough but aswell they are in a different "social group" (i hang around with what could be described as rockers for want of a better word) but the girls are mostly mainstream cool (if that makes sense?)

i just dont know where to start

spinandscribble

first of all girls really dont care if you play sports or not. i cant think of one girl i knew growing up who'd be that shallow. trust me, if you are a gentleman and sweet you'll get ALOT further then if you just have a six pack going for you.

i knew/know of plently of cases where couples were made up of cross social cliches.

stop thinking about it to much. it makes a girl uncomfortable if you act different around her then other lads. it also makes them read too much into it.

maybe start off getting friendly with the rocker girls that way you settle yourself while at least having something in common with them. that should make it easier.

MojoMaker

You ^^ must either be (a) female, or (b) 80yrs old

Seriously, the 'mainstream cool' chicks are hardly worth bothering about OP. They'll be the very ones that will come swarming around you when you head for UCD and you have a car :rolleyes: I wouldn't worry about them at 15.

Any girls in your rocker group? Might be a better start - the chit chatting is likely to come easier I'd say.

Xterminator

1st up,

15 and a virgin is normal. despite what your 'mates' say most of them are too.

now my advice is be yourself. Be confidant. Dont rush looking for a girl, but find yourself. join at least 1 club or sport or something, and meet people, and make friends ina comfortable situation.

X

phantom_lord

MojoMaker wrote:

You ^^ must either be (a) female, or (b) 80yrs old

Seriously, the 'mainstream cool' chicks are hardly worth bothering about OP. They'll be the very ones that will come swarming around you when you head for UCD and you have a car :rolleyes: I wouldn't worry about them at 15.

ha, true.


Go with the flow. Don't try and push it, you'll get friends with people and so on and so forth.

spinandscribble

female actually. i dont see how anything i've said makes me sound 80. you're proberly a guy who thinks male barvado is a turn off and draws the women to men foolish thinking

Nevyn

Unhelpful and off-topic posting will get you banned from this forum.
Do take time to read the charter which contains the rules and abide by them.
Have a nice day.
Thaedydal

spinandscribble

it wasnt offtopic really. alot of guys get the idea treat them mean keeps them keen. i had a few lads in my teens who thought like that and as soon as they acted like that i wasnt interested anymore. im guessing its the same with most girls. just didnt want the op thinking what i was saying sounded like what a 80 yr old would say

chamlis

Don't argue with Thaed.

OP, the best advice you'll ever get is "be yourself".
That's completely useless to you if you have no idea who you are, and at 15 you probably don't. I know I didn't.....
You feel comfortable with the rockers, that's great. Safest group you could be in. You'll be mates with the girls no problem. If there aren't any girls in the group don't worry there will be.
So the second best advice you'll ever get is "don't try". Play it cool.

Caryatnid

OP.
Being 15 and not having kissed a girl is normal, nevermind sex!!! If you don't believe me, you'll realise it when you're 18, when you meet loads of people who are really 'inexperienced' as well.

The fact that you hang round with girls shows there's nothing to be worried about. If you are friends with girls, you can obviously interact with girls.

The fact that you don't to sports is (off-topic now) bad for your health at fifteen. Take up a sport for your health. As side-benefits you will meet more people, possibly gain more confidence, and your body will be sexier too!!!

As a girl, I'm not trying to even imply that I would go for a soccer/rugby/gaa/whatever guy over a non-sporting guy, but someone who looks after their body is more attractive to me.

*throws in two cents*

challengemaster

helpmeplz wrote:

im 15 and ive never been with a girl. i'd really like to but i just cant get comfortable talking to girls.

JOIN THE CLUB! seriously, i am/was pretty much like this, basically, Now im in TY, and i've become more comfortable with myself and i'm able to just be confident about anything i do, even if it does make me look like a right twit.Seriously man, just be yourself. when its meant to happen, it will. also, i'd rather be still 'frigid' than be a total slutty fecker like everyone else around now tbh. the whole *walk up to random person you like* "will you be 'wit' me??" stuff just seems a bit eh.. immature, well, to me anyway.

but thats kind of off topic. just be yourself, be confident in ANYTHING you say. do whatever feels natural. LISTEN!!!! to the girls when they talk. dont try rush the whole "be wit me" thing with them,get to know them first. in my opinion that's the genuine thing to do. maybe not now, at 15, will those girls think anything of it.. but trust me, when you get older its a WHOLE different ball game.

me, im not really trying to 'be with' anyone. im just doing my own thing in life. be yourself. thats the best advice i can give. you'll get what you're meant to get in the end.

Challengemaster.

BreadBoard

OP you sound like quite a normal 15 to me. I was like you at that age. I was shy and quiet especially when girls where around and I wasn't into sports either (still not).

The only advice I can give is don't worry yourself to much about it, if you think about it too much that makes it worse. Your 15 and a normal young man with normal worries.

Be happy !

seamus

At 15, look around your classroom, and I can guarantee you that at least half of those around you have never kissed a girl, regardless of what they say. It seems like everyone is at it, because it's the loudiest cockiest guys who are constantly on about it. These guys get girls because they're loud and cocky - and it's not because girls like loud and cocky blokes, it's just that these guys are talking to girls, so the opportunities present themselves.

The easiest way to get to know girls is in your group. It's far easier to chat to girls if everyone is chatting in a group rather than approaching them individually.

Talliesin

Ignore the fact that they're girls. This isn't going to do much good at getting a date, but it is going to get you to a new confidence plateau about talking to them.

If you aren't into sports you probably find conversations with other boys that tend towards talking about nothing but sport rather boring. Given that the percentage of women that also aren't into sport and also find conversations about sport boring is higher than that of men, your not being into sport is actually an advantage.
Obviously if your first impressions upon meeting a girl is "celtic top, man utd tattoo on arm, very vocal in opinion that a referee has a visual disability and is of illegimate parentage" then she's probably not going to think you're her soul-mate (though, it could still happen), but as the percentages go this isn't a bad thing (getting fit though will help your appearance, health, mental agility and confidence in many things, so if you can motivate yourself to do so, it's not a bad idea).

Mrs_Doyle

I was 15 when I first kissed a boy, and plenty of my friends were around the same age.
A lot of your mates could by lying about having kissed girls, just to keep face.

There is certainly nothing 'wrong' with you though.

Hackman

Hey, I'm 18 and still a virgin. Ive had a few girlfriends but take it easy, be yourself and it will happen.

The main thing is stay happy.

Sad Professor

As other have said, you're only 15, it's not a race. Forget about what your mates are doing or say they are doing. It will all happen in time.

mayordenis

just dont think about it,
at 15 you have all the time in the world,
there's alot to be said for not just throwing yourself at every randomer around the place,
but really the way to go is try and find someone who is somewhat like minded and try and become friends, maybe get used to being around a girl a bit more.

phantom_lord

OP.
Being 15 and not having kissed a girl is normal, nevermind sex!!! If you don't believe me, you'll realise it when you're 18, when you meet loads of people who are really 'inexperienced' as well.

I was getting laid at 15


But it turned out when i reached college, I realised that most people are very inexperienced even at 18. I must have lived in an odd town or something...

Tar.Aldarion

You have no problem, as people say, most of your friends will just lie. Post again in ten years if you have not kissed somebody. Good day and good luck.

GrumPy

phantom_lord wrote:

I was getting laid at 15

I fail to see the funny side of this, it's quite sad that you lost your virginity at that age tbh :rolleyes:

That's off topic though.

Dont worry about it OP, Your still young.

LegacyUser

Don't sweat. If it's fear, eventually you'll get sick of being scared and get into it.

Black Swan

challengemaster wrote:

LISTEN!!!! to the girls when they talk. dont try rush the whole "be wit me" thing with them,get to know them first.

Spoken like a wise man.

Talliesin

Irish GrumPy wrote:

I fail to see the funny side of this, it's quite sad that you lost your virginity at that age tbh :rolleyes:

Yeah. A bit of a snog is a reasonable thing for the OP to hope for, but there are reasons why its illegal for children to have sex.

LegacyUser

Well I'm 18 and in the same boat so don't feel too bad about it!

LegacyUser

I was 23 when I first kissed a girl. So relax you've 8 years before you can even challenge me for late starting!

spacecoyote

one of the main issues i feel most young uys have when they are trying to get their first snog is, as the OP mentioned, fear of rejection. I had a chat a couple of years ago with a mate of mine who was in college & still hadn't snogged a girl. the advice i gave him was to that the fear of rejection was his major block. i really do believe that getting over this fear is the key. everyone who has ever gone out on the pull has experienced more knock-backs than successes I reckon. once you realise that its not the end of the world if a girl says no, then things become much easier. take a couple of risks. At the end of the day, you're young, she will probably be young too, you're both likely to have forgotten in no time if she knocks you back and you'll hopefully have learned a little thanks to the experience

mefifi

Relax and don't worry about it. I was 15 I first kissed a guy. When I as 18 I kissed a guy and it was his first kiss. He was also 18. I didn't think any less of him. I know you don't think it now but its no big deal. Just get to know girls as friends and learn to relax around them.

tbh

Can I make a suggestion OP? Lets face the facts. 15 year old boys are the most socially awkward creatures on God's green earth, and I know that because I've been there. It's really difficult for a 15 year-old guy to get any kind of action, because everyone knows most 15 year olds just want to get laid So, it's more normal that you've NOT had any action than if you had. Relax on that score, you've loads of time. So, on to the suggestion - this is gonna be hard, but I think a lot of lads my age (32) might agree.

Forget about getting any action as a 15 year old, and concentrate on getting action as a 20 year old. I know 5 years seems like forever, but it's not at all. Work out - build your body and get in shape. Develop interests. Form opinions. Learn to play an instrument - you'll be amazed how the guy at the party that can play guitar is never short of conversation. Talk to girls, knowing you are never gonna be with them - it takes the pressure off, and you'll figure out how to flirt and who to flirt with. Have a few quick ones off the wrist, and figure out what turns you on, how to pull back from the brink, and what you don't like. And then, when you mature and grow more confidence, you'll be playing with a stacked deck.

LegacyUser

helpmeplz wrote:

im 15 and ive never been with a girl. i'd really like to but i just cant get comfortable talking to girls.

i have trouble enough trying to make new male friends but i dont know why. its not that i'm not "cool" or anything - ive been described as sound or funny.

also, i'm not exactly the best looking and i dont do any sports (i'm not fat - just not very fit/athletic).

I'm not really that friendly with any of the girls in my school - i could manage a chat during class or sumtin but nuthin too serious


also im sorta afraid of rejection - all the girls i like are popular enough but aswell they are in a different "social group" (i hang around with what could be described as rockers for want of a better word) but the girls are mostly mainstream cool (if that makes sense?)

i just dont know where to start

Well I was kinda like you in that I found it hard to talk to girls. When I did I'd find I could easily make them laugh etc but I still felt uneasy and didn't have any confidence. I think a huge part of it was that i never went to teenage discos, ever. I live a mile from the town I live in too so the opportunities where you could meet a girl and be in the situation where you'd kiss her were non existent.
I met a girl in college last year and hit it off with her. I was 20 by the time I got my first kiss. Now I'm with the girl 18months and shagging like a ****er
Try not to worry about it. I know that's easier said than done but honestly when things are out of your mind it's easier. And another cliché, when you're not looking for it or when you least expect it to happen is usually when something will happen. It was that way for me

Caliden

if they are any local youth discos near you or discos that your friends go to, it might be an idea to start there.
When I was about that age there was one local disco where everyone would go to (non-alcoholic mind, well sometimes :P) and it was so easy to kiss a girl there compared to nowadays.
It basically consisted of asking the girl yourself or getting a friend to go up and ask her.
You make alot of friends that way and have something to talk about the following monday.
I stopped going there once I turned 17 and moved onto the 18+ clubs and the difference is huge.

DAEDULUS

dont try, expect..

mountainyman

helpmeplz wrote:

also im sorta afraid of rejection

Get over it talk to girls and hang out with them, in a couple of months you'll be over your shyness and you can start flirting with their friends.

MM

Red Alert

I certainly hadn't kissed anyone at the age of 15, and for a while I felt the same as you!

Get good preparation for the eventuality that you kiss somebody - start talking to girls. Doesn't matter about what. If you're able to hold down a conversation and make them laugh you're already ahead of the rest. Good Luck

Dr_Teeth

Is anyone else apart from me worried that one day we'll see a thread here like "12 year old, still a virgin :_((" or something?

To OP: Try to chill enjoy yourself! Think of hobbies/sports/clubs/past-times etc where you can mix with girls in a relaxed atmosphere. Soon you'll see they're just people too and the chat (and perhaps flirting!) will come easily.

aidan24326

OP, to have not yet kissed a girl at 15 is pretty normal. Why would you think that it isn't? If friends/schoolmates are bragging about their female conquests I would take it with a pinch of salt. I can tell you for sure that not all of it is true. Confidence is the most important thing, if you can be relaxed and confident and can hold a conversation with a girl, make her laugh, that is more than half the battle. Just relax and don't try too hard. I know feeling relaxed and confident around girls is sometimes easier said than done (especially at your age) but it's something you can work on. Like I said, just don't try too hard and remember there's plenty of time for you yet!

aidan24326

OP, to have not yet kissed a girl at 15 is pretty normal. Why would you think that it isn't? If friends/schoolmates are bragging about their female conquests I would take it with a pinch of salt. I can tell you for sure that not all of it is true. Confidence is the most important thing, if you can be relaxed and confident and can hold a conversation with a girl, make her laugh, that is more than half the battle. Just relax and don't try too hard. I know feeling relaxed and confident around girls is sometimes easier said than done (especially at your age) but it's something you can work on. Like I said, just don't try too hard and remember there's plenty of time for you yet!

Cabaal

Be yourself man, your not strange or obnormal, your friends and other people are lying half the time if they say they've done this that or the other thing.

Some will have but the vast majority will not have, your only 15 don't worry about it

slumped

helpmeplz wrote:

im 15 and ive never been with a girl. i'd really like to but i just cant get comfortable talking to girls.

i have trouble enough trying to make new male friends but i dont know why. its not that i'm not "cool" or anything - ive been described as sound or funny.

also, i'm not exactly the best looking and i dont do any sports (i'm not fat - just not very fit/athletic).

I'm not really that friendly with any of the girls in my school - i could manage a chat during class or sumtin but nuthin too serious


also im sorta afraid of rejection - all the girls i like are popular enough but aswell they are in a different "social group" (i hang around with what could be described as rockers for want of a better word) but the girls are mostly mainstream cool (if that makes sense?)

i just dont know where to start

Hey there,

You could be me 12 years ago.

Was spotty, a little pudgy, rocker type, felt alienated from girls because of 'social' groups. But in the last 12 years I've had my share of girls and now am happily married.

Don't get too down, my point being that 15 is still young and us men take longer to mature. So sit back, relax and it will happen. Don't let apparent society norms affect you. Be yourself.

S

LegacyUser

'aww OP you\'re only 15, everyone exaggerates at that age, heck even i was lying to people at that age about how many id kissed so i wouldn\'t look like an eejit in front of my friends.\r\n\r\nthe truth being i didn\'t even get my first kiss until i was 21!! I remember standing there knowing it was going to happen, terrified he\'d know id never kissed anyone before, he didn\'t, and still doesn\'t.\r\n\r\nyou have all the time in the world, eventually you will find a girl you feel comfortable talking to and it\'ll happen, i know it doesn\'t seem like it now but trust me it will '

Funsterdelux

You are 15, 15

layke

Was like that till I was 17. Made new friends and life changed.

Trust me young Padwan, things will change in time.

secrecy_ie

don't worry about it. When I was a teenager (I'm a girl by the way) I used to think no boys fancied me, but it was only due to a lack of confidence. I am now in a serious relationship, but it was hard as a teenager, don't worry, girls feel the same. But to tell you the truth, at 15 all girls want is for someone to treat them like a princess, no matter how much some of them have sex, 15 year old girls do not have that much of a libido and only do it cause they think thats what will make blokes like them. Respect is the best way to get a girlfriend, if you find someone you really like, show it to them without being too smothering. Believe me, all women want is love, the "cool" guys are just a fantasy and after a while all girls who are worth anything realise they are all just eejits and go for the guys they have something in common with and make them laugh.
Don't bother with the bimbos, they all look the same and believe make up does a LOT for them.

upthere

helpmeplz wrote:

im 15 and ive never been with a girl. i'd really like to but i just cant get comfortable talking to girls.

i have trouble enough trying to make new male friends but i dont know why. its not that i'm not "cool" or anything - ive been described as sound or funny.

also, i'm not exactly the best looking and i dont do any sports (i'm not fat - just not very fit/athletic).

I'm not really that friendly with any of the girls in my school - i could manage a chat during class or sumtin but nuthin too serious


also im sorta afraid of rejection - all the girls i like are popular enough but aswell they are in a different "social group" (i hang around with what could be described as rockers for want of a better word) but the girls are mostly mainstream cool (if that makes sense?)

i just dont know where to start

You'll get more girls later on and the guys you are with now have the bulls*it attitude that gets them the slags! Don't worry everything is gonna be alrite.

Húrin

Bring 15 and never been with a girl is not a problem. Masturbation is your friend.

Just talk to them like they were anyone else, don't worry about it at all.