Confession Box.

Pighead

If Pighead were to confess all his sins this would be the longest post in boards history. So I'll start off by confessing the one that troubles me most.

Its 1989 and Pigheads in that phase where kids turn bold. I'm 12 years old and along with 4 of my buddies we've hatched a horrible plan to rob the church.

The plan was this: Wake up early and go to 1st mass on a Sunday morning. Then when 2nd mass starts, we wait til the Church Collection is done and then we sneak into the sacrastry and help ourselves to 4 or 5 envelopes(containing money) each. Then we sprint across the fields and count our haul.(Usually between 10 and 20 pounds each, a veritable fortune when your 12)

Pighead would love to claim he did this as a protest against the church or as a means of providing the poor of the area with extra income, but that would be lies. We spent the money on sweets and Fanta. Of course after a couple of weeks of this behaviour it became obvious to the church who was behind this heinious crime,(The priest and the shopkeeper figured it out between them) and the leader of our gang was told in no uncertain terms that we were lynched and that there would be no more stealing.

Anyway there you have it, Pighead=Common Thief. Can't believe I took part in such a terrible plan and it really was out of character as I was quite a good kid really. Hopefully God is as forgiving as people say.

So whats your confession?

petes

I'm a saint.

Oriel

A certain Hollywood blockbuster!

phantom_lord

Tut Tut, pighead.

I stole the Jesus from my school crib once.

Lurk

I once cribbed the school, Jesus.

xzanti

I shot JR

Archeron

I shot Mr Burns.

petes

xzanti wrote:

I shot JR

He deserved it.

biko

Forgive me Father for I have sinned.
I made out with a girl in church, during mass.

Endasaurus

I cheated on my girlfriend... with her sister...

Well not really, but the dream lives on..

irlirishkev

When I saw the title of this thread, I thought it was something to do with the pub on Marlborough Street, 'The Confession Box'.

Anyhoo.. Me and my mate went around greystones once and let the air out of a load of people's tyres. We had a right old laugh till one owner caught us in the act and chased us down the street shouting obscenities..

Just for the record, I'd say were around 10 years old.

Letting the air out of people's tyres.. that's a paddlin'!

I went out with a longterm ex's cousin and best mate when we were on a split(that lasted 9 month's though)
It was a secret 3 month relationship (We thought it would work out then tell him after a good while, but it didn't)
I still feel really really bad him not knowing and doing that to him! Although I dont talk to the ex anymore I still talk to his cousin as we weren't meant to be a couple but get on well!

Ruu_Old

For shame Pighead, you are going to hell and off my Christmas card list.:p
I once took ate two pieces of communion instead of one, they were joined together, it wasn't my fault! *runs away like a blubbering fool*

The_B_Man

coolsmileygirl wrote:

I went out with a longterm ex's cousin and best mate when we were on a split(that lasted 9 month's though)
It was a secret 3 month relationship (We thought it would work out then tell him after a good while, but it didn't)
I still feel really really bad him not knowing and doing that to him! Although I dont talk to the ex anymore I still talk to his cousin as we weren't meant to be a couple but get on well!

Dont do things to other people if you are not prepared to face the consequences.
Karma can be a bitch!

spose ur superhero rescue levels things up.

When me da got his brand new car, i sat in it to see wat it was like. whatever happened, i stuck the key in and turned it and it jumped forward and scratched the **** outta the front left of it. he still thinks it was him parking too much forward!

Pighead

Ruu wrote:

For shame Pighead, you are going to hell and off my Christmas card list.:p
I once took ate two pieces of communion instead of one, they were joined together, it wasn't my fault! *runs away like a blubbering fool*

:eek: And Pighead thought his crime was bad! Stuck together indeed. Likely story. 17 Hail Marys for you Ruu.

FranknFurter

Here ya go!
www.inevertoldyou.com



B

(CSG, his cousin AND his best mate??? Whoo-hoo! go you!! )

c - 13

FranknFurter wrote:

Here ya go!
www.inevertoldyou.com



B

And when your done there
Grouphug

Blitzkrieger

When I was a smallie I once stepped in dog **** on my way in from lunch break in primary school. I realised before I got to my desk so, being the only person in the classroom so far, I wiped it off on the coat of the guy in front of me. The teacher saw the trail of ****ty footprints as soon as he came in, followed it, and started yelling at the poor fella for dragging it in. He was nearly crying but he showed the teacher the soles of his shoes which were spotless so was off the hook. For the rest of the day he kept sniffing - wondering where the smell of dog **** was coming from and checking his shoes over and over. The last I saw of him that day was getting into his mothers car, with his coat on him, still none the wiser. I can imagine him getting a beating for wiping **** onto the car seat.

The worst thing is - I'm almost in tears laughing at this now.

xzanti

FranknFurter wrote:

Here ya go!
www.inevertoldyou.com



B

(CSG, his cousin AND his best mate??? Whoo-hoo! go you!! )

Some really deep sh1t in there :eek:

Ruu_Old

Pighead wrote:

:eek: And Pighead thought his crime was bad! Stuck together indeed. Likely story. 17 Hail Marys for you Ruu.

Ah sure we'll go to hell together then Pighead, hooray. Its your round btw.:)

Sleepy

Wasn't there a much bigger version of that site before?

I took the cookies from the cookie jar.

NoDayBut2Day

Deleted User wrote:

I took the cookies from the cookie jar.

But you would never know from *these* eyes...

But seriously... umm... I didn't do it, but I was with a friend who took a huge lock and hid it in the grass... It was on a door that had a ladder leading to the roof. Later on we walked by and the door was shut, but the lock was still missing.

SmoothyG

When in high school i was in the band playing for the leaving cert mass, I signed up because we were allowed to choose the songs to play, we were practicing in the church when the priest came to tell us that we would only be able to play songs from his list. At 17 i was a bit of an anarchist punk, i argued with him over the matter, and when he turned to leave i blew out the eternal flame on the alter. He went ballistic, the only reason i wasnt expelled from school was that he grabed me and shook me with anger, I was a big 17 year old, and he didnt hurt me at all, but later i got one of my mates to punch me in the arm a good few times to bring up a bruise, so when brought up infront of the principal i was armed with the threat of abuse, all was forgiven.
If the old story of a firey hell exsists then ill see ye al there,

FranknFurter

FranknFurter wrote:

Here ya go!
www.inevertoldyou.com



B

(CSG, his cousin AND his best mate??? Whoo-hoo! go you!! )

NO:eek: His cousin, who's his best mate also !!!!!

Feral Mutant

Daily Confessions
Edit: Link fixed.

Rb

xzanti wrote:

Some really deep sh1t in there :eek:

There certainly is! I'd wonder how many are taking the píss though.

Feral Mutant wrote:

Daily Confessions

Link doesn't work, think you mean Daily Confession

Pighead

Deleted User wrote:

I took the cookies from the cookie jar.

Is that some hip new slang you kids use for masturbating? Because if it is don't worry boney. We all take cookies from the cookie jar. Happy weekend buddy.

FranknFurter

rb_ie wrote:

There certainly is! I'd wonder how many are taking the píss though.

There is, aye.
From what I know, each comment is carefully considered before it is put in "the comment loop" and most of the ridiculous ones are'nt posted.
Its not some automated posting thing afaik, I think its manually moderated so to speak.
So I spose that would stop some of the obviously untrue.

B

Lirange

In honour of Pigman ...

Mr. Bad Example

by Warren Zevon.

I started as an alter boy, working at the church
Learning all my holy moves, doing some research
Which led me to a cash box, labeled "Children's Fund"
I'd leave the change, and tuck the bills inside my cumberbund

I got a part-time job at my father's carpet store
Laying tackless stripping, and housewives by the score
I loaded up their furniture, and took it to Spokane
And auctioned off every last naugahyde divan

I'm very well aquainted with the seven deadly sins
I keep a busy schedule trying to fit them in
I'm proud to be a glutton, and I don't have time for sloth
I'm greedy, and I'm angry, and I don't care who I cross

I'm Mr. Bad Example, intruder in the dirt
I like to have a good time, and I don't care who gets hurt
I'm Mr. Bad Example, take a look at me
I'll live to be a hundred, and go down in infamy

Of course I went to law school and took a law degree
And counseled all my clients to plead insanity
Then worked in hair replacement, swindling the bald
Where very few are chosen, and fewer still are called

Then on to Monte Carlo to play chemin de fer
I threw away the fortune I made transplanting hair
I put my last few francs down on a prostitute
Who took me up to her room to perform the flag salute

Whereupon I stole her passport and her wig
And headed for the airport and the midnight flight, you dig?
And fourteen hours later I was down in Adelaide
Looking through the want ads sipping Fosters in the shade

I opened up an agency somewhere down the line
To hire aboriginals to work the opal mines
But I attached their wages and took a whopping cut
And whisked away their workman's comp and pauperised the lot

I'm Mr. Bad Example, intruder in the dirt
I like to have a good time, and I don't care who gets hurt
I'm Mr. Bad Example, take a look at me
I'll live to be a hundred and go down in infamy

I bought a first class ticket on Malaysian Air
And landed in Sri Lanka none the worse for wear
I'm thinking of retiring from all my dirty deals
I'll see you in the next life, wake me up for meals

Pighead

Pighead wrote:

Is that some hip new slang you kids use for masturbating? Because if it is don't worry boney. We all take cookies from the cookie jar. Happy weekend buddy.

Damn.

You broke my code. I have to come up with something new now ..

KdjaCL

Done some bad bad **** some seriously bad.

The most humurous i can think off would when armed raiders broke into a shop storage warehouse in D22 many moons ago and the police came and checked it out and we were witting on my back wall watching everything unfold. As the police left someone was meant to come and close the shutter door to ehh heaven but before he came if he ever ddi i dont know, we looted the place, the armed raiders took the whiskey and smokes, i was 11 and saw 3 pallets of wagon wheels and other such things Choccie polo and drinks.

15 or so trips later and our tree house had enough food to last a nuclear fallout, our gang was quite happy with the days events and lived on biscuits crisps and sweets for many days afterwards.


kdjac

Flashraziel

on a school trip to Rome in 5th year I masturbated in St. Peters Basillica. But in the toilets. Not on the alter or anything.

r3nu4l

When I was about 9 there was a little kid up the road who had more Star Wars figures than you could shake a light-sabre at. He was always pretty mean about letting us play with them so one day my brother and I 'borrowed' three of them :cough: without asking.

Anyway, three days later he realises that we have 'borrowed' them and makes off home with one of my figures hidden away in his coat. Now my brother and I had feck all Star Wars toys as my parents weren't loaded so, I say to my brother 'feck this!' and we march up to his house, I ring the doorbell and his Mam answers. I proceed to tell her that little Paul has taken one of our Star Wars figures in the 'mistaken' belief that we took some of his and ask very nicely if we can have it back.

So his Mam asks for a description of the figure and I tell her he's an Imperial Stormtrooper and so she drags Paul kicking and screaming into the hallway and forces him to give it back and apologise to me and my brother for being so wicked and bold So I take the figure, tell him I forgive him, thank his Mam and me and my brother go home having freed ou Stormtrooper and still kept his toys

Poor kid didn't speak to us for about a year He got a severe beating witht he wooden sppoon thanks to my thievery and brazen balls I still feel bad about that but thank you Pighead for allowing me to cleanse my soul, very cathartic indeed
.
.
.
.
.sorry Paul



Edit: flash...Whoa, you going to hell but at least you did it with style!

sonic juice

once I had dirty thoughts...

Endasaurus

Flashraziel wrote:

on a school trip to Rome in 5th year I masturbated in St. Peters Basillica. But in the toilets. Not on the alter or anything.

That's just evil :eek:

Dreamcrusher

i broke up with a girl once. while she gave me head. she was still on her knees when i said it. i was very....very druk, and very young and stupid. im not proud of it, but its a story to tell nonetheless

fillmore jive

i put the screw in the tuna.

icemanjimbo04

In school we used to be given trocaire boxes for all our family which i kinda never returned to the school..

Keeping it goin for two or three years seemed like a good thing to do at the time..:(

Black Swan

Confession? Surely you jest! Too many Our Fathers, Hail Marys and Glory Bes stacked up waiting for me.

LundiMardi

Dreamcrusher wrote:

i broke up with a girl once. while she gave me head. she was still on her knees when i said it. i was very....very druk, and very young and stupid. im not proud of it, but its a story to tell nonetheless

That's just dangerous!!

EOA_Mushy

Blitzkrieger wrote:

When I was a smallie I once stepped in dog **** on my way in from lunch break in primary school. I realised before I got to my desk so, being the only person in the classroom so far, I wiped it off on the coat of the guy in front of me. The teacher saw the trail of ****ty footprints as soon as he came in, followed it, and started yelling at the poor fella for dragging it in. He was nearly crying but he showed the teacher the soles of his shoes which were spotless so was off the hook. For the rest of the day he kept sniffing - wondering where the smell of dog **** was coming from and checking his shoes over and over. The last I saw of him that day was getting into his mothers car, with his coat on him, still none the wiser. I can imagine him getting a beating for wiping **** onto the car seat.

The worst thing is - I'm almost in tears laughing at this now.

Pure evil man / pure genius! LMAO

For my self, a period of shop lifting... Breaking a few windows in the local construction site & a spot of *arsen.... In my defence I was not the one to throw the mollotove. Moving quickly allong.

*Disclaimer: All a long time ago, fun at the time and not to be repeated

Lust4Life

Had my whole church assuming the Hubby and I were married.
(They never asked, we never said!)
I was even Vice Prez of the Church Council and leader of the Church Choir!
Asked Father Bill one day if he'd be interested in performing the ceremony.
I think he crapped his pants!
Fastest Church wedding in Catholic History!
Hee hee!

zuutroy

Ripped off the shop I was working in for months on end. Only got caught coz 6 others employees were at it too. Only got away without being charged because the owner's brother in law was one of them!

rogue-entity

Sinners, Sinners all of you..
Confess your sins here: http://www.absolution-online.com/

Hmm, Once when in spain, we had to buy a few things from the supermarket. I walked passed the fruit section and noticed that one of their price signs wasnt up, so I picked it up and stuck it in the pile of fruits, I accidentally skewered one of the fruits, ruining it. One of the store assistance gave out to me in spanish, but I didnt understand, my aunt who is a fluent speaker asked if I ruined one of the fruits and I lied. She basically told that shop assistant to stuff it, we dropped our bags and left.

*goes to e-confessional and confesses sins*

Car Mad

this one is the best not mine found it on the confession site.

I confess that I am a bit of a smart-mouth.
I was flying a couple weeks ago and tensions were high because of a terror warning. When the security people asked the elderly man to take off his shoes, I started to take my tennis shoes off. When the same security person that told the 70+ man to take off his wingtips, he told me that tennis shoes were ok. I asked why. The security person shrugged and I said, 'Guess that the 9-year-olds in Thailand can't make tennis shoes out of bomb materials.'

Apparently you aren't allowed to say bomb in an airport anymore.

Seconds after my JOKE, I was whisked away to a private room for questioning. They bluntly asked me if I was a terrorist. I, being a smartass and not yet realizing the seriousness of the situation, said, 'Well, I am Osama Bin Laden's fourth cousin twice removed.'

I missed my flight, and was kept there for more than six hours. Serves me right I guess. But I am Irish and as white as they come with bright red hair.

I confess I am now working on making a pair of tennis shoes out of play dough to wear to the airport next time.

Interceptor

I got VERRRRRYY drunk in an airport in Florida, barely made it onto my flight back to London and midway across the Atlantic, after the meal and the movie (two double Jack and Cokes, a red wine and a Baileys with the meal btw) I woke up and needed to puke.

Instead of the smart option of getting a sick-bag and staying seated, I climbed over the two people between me and the aisle and started running toward the toilet but it was too late. I put my hands over my mouth as I ran to try and stop it but I managed to spray everyone from Row 24 to Row 48 in beer puke, before covering the entire cubicle and myself.

I passed out on the floor and the cabin steward had to force the door open. They gave me a nice Virgin Airways tracksuit and a seat near the jacks and they were all so nice, but I pretended to be asleep until everyone was off the plane. The stares in baggage reclaim from the dried-puke covered passengers was awful. I don't drink, or go in Virgin Atlantic airplanes anymore...

To anyone who is reading who was on that flight back from Disneyland - I'm sorry from bringing a little of Dipsoland into your life and for not offering to pay your dry cleaning bill.

'cptr

gucci

when i was younger(probably 6?) i was forced to play with my mums friends kid who was a real pain in the ass and i did not want to be stuck playing with!

anyways i was fed up of this kid annoying me and offered to swap some of my matchbox cars with him, course he had none with im at my house but i was like "its fine il get them off you next time your calling over"
as soon as he went skipping off down the road with a few of my cars in his pockets i squealed to my 2big brothers that sean* was after STEALING my favourite cars, two brothers hop up on theyre bikes chase down the road after him and giive him a proper beating and seize the contraband cars.......needless to say i never had to suffer him again



*name changed for legal reasons!

Siogfinsceal

when I was about 4 I was in playschool and this other kid had a pair of gloves with little wollen knitted men on each finger I was v jealous so took them and said they were mine- by chance it was my uncle instead of my mam who collected me that day and he hadnt a clue and believed me and got into a huge row with the mother of the kid that did own the gloves...it was only when we got home that my mam told him I didnt own any gloves...

Dan133269

among the numerous violent escapades I got myself into as a child this is probably the most funniest. I was around 10 maybe and my friend and I were playing tennis, we disagreed over a call or something, he proceeded to strike me on the leg with the tennis racket and me being one for justice wasn't going to let this stand,
now I was alot bigger than he was and so he starts running away from me in the direction of his house, I start chasing him and holding the tennis racket over my head ready to whack him, I'm right behind him and at this stage he's crying with fear while I'm half-laughing half angry to get revenge, he eventually makes it to his front door thinking he's safe, opens the door and runs into his front hall at which point he's so exhausted he's starting to lose his balance and falling forward which is conveniently when I strike him right between the shoulder blades with the tennis racket as hard as I can producing a blood-curdling scream from him as he falls to the ground blubbering like a baby.
I then turned around and ran out of his house laughing. Cruel but ever so funny :rolleyes:

lzbones

What about http://www.venials.com