tell me to relax....

LegacyUser

ok, so i met this guy a few months ago..nice guy lets call him Paul, didnt fancy him or anything, used to meet him in a club every weekend with my friends, all my friends knew his friends , so we would generally all hang around 2 gether.

One night i was with one of our mutual friends, and the following weekend we were in the same club again and i got talking to paul. We got on really good this nite and chatted for ages, we were close to kissing but i said i had better not as i had kissed the other guy the week before and it wouldnt have been fair on him cos he was in the club too..

anyway to cut an extremely long story short, ia few weeks later after things hd fisseled out with the guy i kissed i ended up with Paul. A few days later i heard from a friend that Paul told him he had no interest in a relatioship, so that put a spanner in the works , so i thought. Paul txted me a few times and we both said we'd meet up at this party that was happening, so we did and we were together again..the following week he asked me out for a drink, o i did, but i met him the the local, where all our mutual friends were again , so we didnt get the chance to talk that much.. but we met again and again..and then he asked me to be his girlfriend...so i said yeah.

Now, i'm really after falling for this guy...he says he likes me too..but i just cant believe him! i see him every weekend, he spends friday sat and sunday nights out with me and might just meet his friends one night during the week..everything just seems to be going great...but i cant help thinking that this is just one big p1ss take and he is just using me and it wouldnt even be for sex cos we havent had sex yet, but i dunno why i think he is using me..i rang him last night and there was no answer , he txted me at like 1am saying he was just finished work, and i only got one message from him today, now i know if i told him or my friends how insecure i was they would just tell me i was stupid..

i guess i'm not looking for advice as such..just need someone to tell me to cop on and calm down...

hullaballoo

It's understandable to feel that way about it, but you are being unreasonable. Naturally though. I mean, most people are unreasonable in relationships and operate on feelings in place of logic.

However, you have to trust him if it's going to work. There's nothing that kills a relationship faster than a lack of trust.

Also, don't expect him to text you too much. Maybe not even every day. Men don't subscribe to an avid text-life.

oulu

Don't ruin your relationship before it has even started, you are afraid of been hurt like us all, but that does not mean that he will hurt you maybe you will hurt him, or maybe you will have kids and grow old together.relax and enjoy it is all one great big adventure, cut this guy some slack and yourself.

Chinafoot

baloobas wrote:

A few days later i heard from a friend that Paul told him he had no interest in a relatioship,

Is that why you think he's using you?

From what you've said I honestly think you're being unnecessarily insecure about things. Maybe at the start he didn't want a relationship, but it is possible that he's really happy with how things have developed between you that now he does want a relationship.

Right before I met my current boyfriend I didn't want a relationship. I had exams and then I'd be going into my final year of college so it seemed like it would have been an extra burden on top of all the pressure I already had to face.
However, when I met him we instantly clicked and after meeting up a few times the "no relationships" line of thinking went straight out the window.

You need to relax about things. Don't stress out about the text messages. Hulla's right, some men hate it so it's possible your guy is one of them. Just enjoy spending time together and don't stress yourself out.


Just as an aside,

baloobas wrote:

i see him every weekend, he spends friday sat and sunday nights out with me and might just meet his friends one night during the week

This jumped out at me. You need to be careful to not cut of friends on either side. You said in the start of your post that you and your friends would hang out with him and his friends on a night out. You should try and maintain this, even just for one night at the weekend, to keep a good balance in the relationship.

Anyway, go and enjoy your relationship (the first few months are always fantastic) and let yourself relax a bit.

dr.bollocko

Yesh you know what you should do, FFS its in the subject line of this post! The guy has given you no reason to think that he is just mucking around with you. And until he does, enjoy being in lurve!!!!!!!!(ewwww)

Black Swan

New relationship? Just learning about each other? Gives you his entire weekends? Chill out and take it easy.

daiixi

I have a friend who, according to most people I know, has no interest in relationships. This didn't stop him asking out a girl he really liked and dating her for a wee while (she ended it). I have another friend who, according to most people I knew, never wanted to marry or have kids. He's now married with three children. Don't believe everything you hear.