Murphy's Lesser Known Laws

fred funk }{

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.


He who laughs last, thinks slowest.



Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.



Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.



Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.



Do not argue with a fool because he might be doing the same thing.



Do not argue with Idiots. They only bring you down to their level, and beat you with experience.



The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.



If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.



If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.



The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those who got there first.



Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.



Give a man a campfire and he will be warm for one night. Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.



Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.



The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.



A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.



When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.



Rule of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.



A paranoid person is simply someone who is in possession of all the facts

Shellie13

yup their good ones al right:

reality is the main source of stress for those who believe in it

Kojak

Not bad.

cudman

man who goes to bed with itchy bum, wakes up with smelly finger!