getting over break ups

cluborange86

i know theres probably a million threads about this so sorry for posting again.

anyway myself and my ex were going out for 2 years and have been broken up for 4 months and officially only 6 weeks (she needed time to think) well basically the break up was my fault, she cant trust me anymore so its relationship over which im finding hard to deal with

we dont talk anymore that much but i want to meet up with her and get things off my chest and just draw a line under the relationship and hopefully move on, but she thinks that meeting up is a bad idea, which i can understand, but is it unfair of me to ask her to meet up? she wants to do it over text which im not gonna do

i think about her all the time and when im talking to a girl i always think of her and compare the new girl to her. i havent met anyone since her and i havent been texting any girl since which i know is making this situation a whole lot worse.

any ideas of how to get over her?

Ruu_Old

There is no easy way to do it OP. If she doesn't want to meet then thats her choice, she wants to put things away and you should do the same. Dwelling on it won't help, you are tormenting yourself. Keep yourself busy, go see some friends that you haven't in a while or something similar.

cluborange86

ya ive been keeping myself busy alrite. going the october fest tonight here in cork! but i really messed up and i cant get over that, i let a perfect girl slip through my hands, just home im lucky enough to meet someone better

free2fly

She's probably very hurt. You should respect her wishes not to meet up. She needs time to heal. She may, at some point, decide to meet up with you. Or she may not. Give her time.

All you can do now is learn from your mistake OP. It will take you time to deal with your own grief over the breakup.

Red Alert

One ex- wanted to meet up with me, I did not want to meet up with her and therefore didn't.

I would have in hindsight.

mariaalice

why don't you write her a long email explaining all your feeling about the relationship then read it carefully and think about sending it to her...but you don't need to send it to her sometimes writing things down clears your head...don't hassle her about meeting up.

bubblicious

my boyf broke up with me the other night after 8 months...i know 8 months isn't that long, but i was(and still am) completely in love with him and it makes it so hard to get over him...but the only good thing is that we've agreed to be friends...but i think, at the back of my mind, im hoping we'll get back together, so being friends right now is probably totally unhealthy on my part....

i sent him an email talking about my feelings...he never replied...i think letters are so much better...write her a letter, explain everything in it, and if u decide to send it, maybe txt her and tell her uv written her a letter and ur postin it...she doesn't need to reply but you just want her to know how u feel...i know when i did that with my ex the first time we broke up, that letter was the reason we got back together...letters are so much more personal and meanigful than any email...

LegacyUser

Theres some great replies to be found in a thread i started cluborange86, here's the link http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=269323. I dont know why it was locked as there seemed to be a lot of people in the same boat. Would it be possible for the Beruthiel?

I hope some of the posts in there help you OP. Im still not fully over mine. Good months, bad weeks. But its better than the bad months, good days I was having this time 14 or 15 months ago. Best of luck.

Dave!

Time is a healer... It mends all hearts that break...

edit: dammit, thought that was out of a song, now I just look all sappy! :mad:

Seriously OP, it's always just a matter of time. You'll feel better.

Greenfigure

Sorry to hear about your situation. We've all been through it. The only thing I can say to you is time will heal. Give it a month or so, then tell her how u feel. If she asks u why you've waited so long, then tell her that you wanted to give her time.
Meanwhile, go out with your friends, leave your phone at home! Spend time with loved ones, they'll make you feel better.

cluborange86

hey guys thanks for the replies. thanks for the link to your thread heartbroken2 some very good advice in there and im only on the 3rd page.

i think one of the main things thats wronf for me is that i still hope that we'll get together. when we broke up she said she still loved me and that she was still in love with me. theres no closure for me and i need that cause im pretty much leaving the door open for her to realize her mistake so we can get back together.

she said she could meet up tomorrow but i dont think i will. she didnt really want to, so i think i should respect her choice but i need to get these things off my chest.

and for those who said write a letter, i already did that and didnt get any response

CathyMoran

Am going to send you a PM

Black Swan

cluborange86 wrote:

well basically the break up was my fault, she cant trust me anymore so its relationship over which im finding hard to deal with

No trust, no relationship. It's good that you recognize this. Learn from it and move on.

cluborange86 wrote:

we dont talk anymore that much but i want to meet up with her and get things off my chest and just draw a line under the relationship and hopefully move on, but she thinks that meeting up is a bad idea, which i can understand, but is it unfair of me to ask her to meet up?

You can ask, but she can say no, and you should respect that and not pressure her.

cluborange86 wrote:

any ideas of how to get over her?

Get out and meet people. Pubs/clubs, SOCs if a student or social groups that share your interests.