Relative Problem

Zwak

Hello,

I've recently been having a problem with my sister, who is currently staying with me. It all started about two weeks ago, when she said she'd be comming up to check out a job.(She lives about 10 hours away) It wasn't really the best time for my family, so I simply said I didn't know if it would work. About three days later, we recieved a phone call saying she wouldn't be able to make it, and decided to travel further south instead, which was fine by us. A week and a half rolled by, and we hadn't spoken since. When I came home from work, I saw a message on our phone. It was my sister and she was three hours away with her friend!

We quickly cleaned the house, and made up the guest room. She was about an hour late, but she did arrive. On a whim, she dicided to phone her 28 year old son, who lives in the area, to come over for a visit. It was Tueseday evening, and we needed to be in bed early, but that didn't stop her. She, and her company kept us up till 3 AM. The next day we all went to work, and school and came home. My sister was gone at that time, but we'd given her keys the day before. My wife begun to make dinner, since everybody invited themselves over again. It was about 6:00 and supper was nearly finnished. Suddenly, they all decided it would be better to go out for supper and left us with with three extra plates of food. My wife was furios, and so was I.

We both agreed to confront her about what she'd done in the morning, since we were all tired, and cranky. But, when she marched through the front door at 10:30, the fight almost emidiatly broke out. She denied the whole thing, and simply said she didn't know we were making dinner. We argued for about an hour, before she ran upstairs and slammed the door. That was four days ago. In the mean time, we found out that there really was no job, and it decided to snow. She is still here, and everyime we ask her when she's leaving, she simply says "I don't know yet" :mad: She's not the most pleasurable company either, she's 50 years old, and all she does is brag her daughters who are both on welfare at the age of 30.

Can someone please give us advice? We've reached the end of our ropes. We want her to leave, but we don't want to hurt her feelings because she's family.

Lust4Life

Tell her it's time to go. If it is hurting your family, she must leave.
You say she has a son near by and 2 daughters. She can live with them.

She'll be full of excuses, but she is NOT your PROBLEM! She needs to solve her own issues.

Be firm. Set a day and time she must be out by and stick to it.

Black Swan

Lust4Life wrote:

Be firm. Set a day and time she must be out by and stick to it.

Agree.

Motley Crue

Zwak wrote:

Can someone please give us advice? We've reached the end of our ropes. We want her to leave, but we don't want to hurt her feelings because she's family.

Judging from your situation id say youd be based in America, since your Sister lives 10 hours away, and it never snows anywhere in Ireland! First, **** her feelings, she hasnt given a toss about them so far. Second, what mother is proud of the fact that she has two 30 year olds on Welfare! Shes a 50yr old woman, the way you were going on through this whole story I taught she was a ****ing teenager! Tell her to get out, and make sure she leaves, and if needs be change the locks. I can understand you want to be kind about it but you cant tiptoe around this. This woman is a moocher, someone who doesnt have the good manners to ring ahead and let you know she wont be having dinner, someone who brings her friend to a relatives house to stay unannounced, someone who storms off like a child when you challenge her....and yet she showed she can act when she wants to, she drove 10hrs to avoid the snow!

Make sure shes leaving today, take the house keys, and for gods sake dont pay for her petrol home!

Zwak

Thanks for the tips. I agree with all of you. We're going to give her today, then we're going to tell her to pack her bags tommorrow(since I don't have time today). The thing is, she can't live with her son, because he lives with her ex husband, that wouldn't turn out so good. Last night, she made an hour long call to the US to talk to her guy friend,(we live in Canada) on OUR telephone! I told her she'd be paying for the long distance charges and she just laughed! Is that her way of telling us she'll pay?? I, a 40 year old man, am providing for my 50 year old sister? I think not. And to think, she wants her son, to buy her a $7000 to get home, rather than the $3000 he'd promised her. Truth be told, I think she deserves a bus ride home, out of her OWN pocket.

Rb

Zwak wrote:

Is that her way of telling us she'll pay??

No, quite the contrary I'd imagine.
Make sure you're firm when you're telling her to leave so that shes under no impression that she might just turn back up some day in the near future and everything would be fine.
All shes done is cause trouble and hassle since before she even got to your house, she has to go, simple as.