what did your parents say

pepper

what did your family friends say when you came out? My family know im bi and they were great about it- except they decided not to tell my dad as hes very old fashioned!

My friends were gr8 2- one of them called me a dyke and said she didnt wanna know me again in case i wanted to shag her!Thankfully she was the only one

cotwold

Yeah, your friend sounds like a komplete nob, does she have no male friends either?(in case they wanna shag her).
My parents were really cool about it and werent really bothered at all.

MicraBoy

I think my mother said "ughghgh"

And my father came out with the classic "Do you really admire men sexually?"

Ah well I suppose it was a shock. They got over it.

snappieT

Mam was very "As long as you're happy" and "PS, stay safe ffs"
Dad hasn't found out (very religious).

Friends all know. Close friends slag me over it in a fun way that doesn't bother me at all (catching teh ghey from me touching their pen etc...)

In school, I got a lot of slagging before I came out. This went down to about 10% when they found out I came out.

All in all, very well I guess, my sister still doesn't believe it, mammy is fine and knows about (and has met) select boyfriends. I'm happy enough.

azezil

My mother said something along the lines of, "oh ok, as long as you're happy", but I never forget my dads, timeless quote "there's no point worrying about something I can't change"... I don't think he ment it in a hurtful way, in fact I was just amused by it.

I'm sure somewhere in there, although they'd never admit it, they'd prefer if I wasn't, but they've fully embraced it, met guys I've dated and so on.

Hmm_Messiah

my mum immediately wished we'd be happy and wanted to give me money for me and himself to go on a celebratory meal

a short while later though one night she did ask in passing how I would explain JP to a future girlfriend

pepper

Hmm_Messiah wrote:

my mum immediately wished we'd be happy and wanted to give me money for me and himself to go on a celebratory meal

a short while later though one night she did ask in passing how I would explain JP to a future girlfriend

aw dats so nice:D

cotwold

Did anyones parents react really negatively?

govinda

My mams reaction was fine, very much along the "once you're happy, I'm happy" lines, but it did come as a shock to her so she had some strange questions/input for me:

"I never knew, you never let it affect your schoolwork!"
"Have you always hated girls? What about <insert female friends name>?"
"Do you know anyone else with the same problem?"

I can smile about it now, at the time I thought I'd made a big mistake telling her ;-)

Goodshape

Both my parents were fine with it.

Told my dad first, he was a bit shocked and I'm sure a little disappointed (I'm the only son out of four children) but he didn't let that show too much. Had a lot of questions along the lines of "are you sure?" Get along very well with my dad though, and that hasn't changed at all.

I stressed a bit about telling my mum, not sure why exactly (parents are separated so it wasn't a case of telling one and the other finding out automatically). Finally told her a few months later and she thought it was great craic . Her questions were more along the lines of "so does this mean you're into romance and shopping and all that stuff?". I think she was more disappointed that that wasn't the case than anything else

LegacyUser

Hmm, no negative reactions so far?

My mother started to cry and told me I had broken my heart...my Dad didn't talk to me for about 4 months...told them bother about 2 and a half years ago. It hasn't been discussed since...

Works for me *shrugs*

LegacyUser

My mother said "it's your life and no one really cares what you do with it" she meant it in a do what is best for you and don't stress about other people sort of way.

UU

My parents were cool about it and honestly had always suspected that I was gay. It's nice having liberal and understanding parents, it really makes a huge difference.

madmoe

I told my mum first, she cried but I think deep down she knew or had an inkling. She was like "as long as your happy....". Mentioned stuff about me being in a situation or something which didn't impress me back then but I'm over that now.

She never asks about BF's etc. etc. so I take a more pro-active approach and tell her. I don't rub her face in it constantly and all that, just to let her know that this is me and this is the way its gonna be.

I told dad a good while after telling her, in hind sight he took it a lot better and maybe I should have told him first. He's the type of person who is happy as long as I'm happy. Does't talk about it at all but never did enquire about women or anything when I was younger so I'm taking it that he's happy as long as I am. He's the easy going type.

I have heard some horror stories from older gay mates though....my heart goes out to them. The bf had it very very easy, his dad took him to his first gay bar!! For me that is very hard to imagine but thats different folks I guess.....

M

keynesian

I was going to write an easay on my coming out. But I'll spare u the tale, that I remember vividly. Friend, college, family, work, all fine with it.

Mates “He’s gay but sound” (not when I'm in the room)
sis “that’s so cool” (don’t know why)
friend “We all knew that, why take u so long”
mum "Oh" (what do ya what)
Any words of descent are from people that don’t mater. I get insulted for more other stuff, being gay is not on the list, except for…..

But there has been one thing that I always took comfort in, I was a good saver and always had money to change job, college and home.

Shellie13

Ha well lets see...not told d folks...if i was fully lesbian itd be great and tolerated....but they seem to think bis are just greedy

maybe we are;)

Transcendant

My mother found out when i miss sent a text to her... i was in the gaelthact at the time so i couldn't talk to her for three weeks.
She cried but only because she felt that so many of my dreams were shattered... she is slowly realising i am not easily defeated.

Isobel

I'm TS so I've said since I was 4 that I'm a girl but it was always brushed under the carpet until it got to me so much being a boy all the time that I decided to do something about it so I brought them out one night and decided that was the night I'd tell them I was going on hormones etc (bringing them to a pub meant they couldn't row in a crowed place, I know...Im a chicken ) but I told them and they were all humming and hawing but they seemed ok, or at least they were willing to discuss it so as I got more relaxed about the situation I was trying explain to them how it wasn't the end of the world or anything BUT I sort of have a defence mechanism that can kick in when I'm nervious and I start joking and I turned around to my dad and said "Well don't think of it as losing a son but gaining a daughter" well he went balistic I think more because I was so dismissive of it as being a normal thing but that was years ago, now they're fine with it my mum even asks me to do her makeup when she's going on a big night out and my older brother owns a big kitchen fitters and has offered to pay for anything I need done. I wouldn't take it but it was such a great feeling to be offered.

keynesian

Shellie13 wrote:

Ha well lets see...not told d folks...if i was fully lesbian itd be great and tolerated....but they seem to think bis are just greedy

maybe we are;)

I just tell ppl I'm gay or don't say any thing, coz if i do (in Ireland) girls turn out or they tell u your gay, I say so what I'll **** u any way.

I get better luck with women in sweden, all the guys look gay over there.

Shellie13

keynesian wrote:

girls turn out or they tell u your gay, I say so what I'll **** u any way.

Ha i love it!
Must try that one!

nobby2k1

I totally thought my mum knew I was Bi...turns out she didn't *SURPRISE*
oh the look of disappointment/shock on her face...then she started to fire all sorts of questions at me...answered them all for her...then silence...so told her I was heading out and as I was leaving the house she came over to me gave me the biggest hug...told me that she loved me very much and that she just wanted me to be happy but wasn't ready to meet a g/f.
While I was out she rang me a few times to make sure I was ok lol....but she was also wondering how she should tell my dad...so I told her that we'd do it together when she had time to process it....in the end she told him that evening while I was out and it was funny, 'cos dad has early Alzheimers so he doesn't find the right words at times but he got up outta bed to come down and give me a hug when I came home.

All my mates know...and it hasn't been an issue...but then again why would it? As one of them said, "I love you for who you are and not for who you like"

limestrawberry

I first came out when I 14 and I seem to come out every week now.Some people wouldnt believe me either.Also, did anyone else notice how everyone expects to say stuff like "OMG!That dress is so fabolous!" when they didnt before?

On the subject of bad reactions,I've had a few but I just cut those people outta my life, if they dont accept me for me, I dont need them!

Twinkle-star15

I'm not planning on coming out. Ever. However, I don't hide myself, so anyone with half a brain should already know I'm bi.

dory

nobby2k1 wrote:

I totally thought my mum knew I was Bi...turns out she didn't *SURPRISE*
oh the look of disappointment/shock on her face...then she started to fire all sorts of questions at me...answered them all for her...then silence...so told her I was heading out and as I was leaving the house she came over to me gave me the biggest hug...told me that she loved me very much and that she just wanted me to be happy but wasn't ready to meet a g/f.
While I was out she rang me a few times to make sure I was ok lol....but she was also wondering how she should tell my dad...so I told her that we'd do it together when she had time to process it....in the end she told him that evening while I was out and it was funny, 'cos dad has early Alzheimers so he doesn't find the right words at times but he got up outta bed to come down and give me a hug when I came home.

Aww that's a really cool story! I have no intention of telling my parents anytime soon. I'll let you guys know how it goes when I do...

LegacyUser

'

Twinkle-star15 wrote:

I'm not planning on coming out. Ever. However, I don't hide myself, so anyone with half a brain should already know I'm bi.

don't see the whole coming out thing working for me either. not that im even too sure, one way or the other, my parents just wouldn't accept it, unfortunately..'