Too young to move out?

LegacyUser

Hey,

Alright im turning 17 next week ive finished the leaving cert and am now in college.

Parents are very restrictive on what i can/cant do such as go out with friends, go to clubs etc..

My question is..

Is it illegal to move out at 17? and what options are open to me?

Gratz.

Suebh

As a mother of a 17 year old about to do his leaving cert I would say 17 is very young to move from home but I do understand there are differing maturity levels at any age. I would suggest you work on the feasability of a move, financially particularily...have you enough income to cover the bills, eat and have (hopefully) a social life. I dont know about the legalities of it but I would assume it is not illegal although we are not considered adults till we are 18. I remember being 17/18 and could not wait to get away from the restrictions of parental control so even though I older now I still remember :rolleyes: Check out what you may have to pay out financially, places to live, are they convenient to your college, how many hours will you have to work as well as going to college.
Good luck with it

Sue

ARGINITE

I have known plenty of 17 year olds who have moved out, other than what Suebh has said about finance the rest shouldnt be a problem.

Sangre

uhh, no its not illegal to move out.

Ste.phen

Surely an under 18 would still be under the guardianship of the parents?
(and thus it would be illegal for him to move out if the parents didnt want them to?)

IANAL though, obviously

greenkittie

I moved out at 17 and it was good but ive always been a very independant mature person. my little brother is 17 now and idea of him moving out seems totally ridiculous due to the way he is.

Saruman

I was under the impression that you could live by yourself from 16?

Faith

It's common in Scotland for kids to start University at 17, and most of them move out to do that. There's nothing stopping you except finances, really.

Also, speaking from experience, moving out is hard. It's different for me because I moved from my family home to a new country 500 miles away, but nonetheless there's challenges that you don't experience at home. You're on your own, and if anything goes wrong, you're responsible for getting it fixed, and paying for it.

Just be sure that you're mature enough to handle anything and everything that can go wrong, and you should be fine.

matrim

I moved away from home to go to university when I was 17, and I loved it. I found that even when I'd go home for a weekend my parents were alot more open about me going out and doing my own thing.

So, if you can afford it, I'd say go for it.

Even if you don't move out, wait until the summer and consider something like going away for a couple of months. This will give your parents time to realise that you are becoming an adult and need independence.

If you stay just remember that it's your parents house and they can set the rules (also that they think what they are doing is for your own good). Talk to them, and explain that you need your own space and freedom to do your own thing. Then you can try to come up with a compromise that suits both of you.

Sangre

Igy wrote:

Surely an under 18 would still be under the guardianship of the parents?
(and thus it would be illegal for him to move out if the parents didnt want them to?)

IANAL though, obviously

Short answer- No.

You don't have to even be 18 to marry.

Rb

OP: Providing its financially feasible, go for it. As has been said, its not at all illegal. Go to your student union (I think) and enquire about a grant, get a part time job if you don't already have one and get yourself some freedom.

dudara

My sister is 17 and started college in October. She moved into her own house, as opposed to digs or college accomodation. I still consider her a child (the problem of being an older sibling) but I've been very impressed by her maturity and how she is dealing with it all.

The Sweeper

I moved out when I was 17. It was a college-related move, however, so I had a student grant that paid my rent and I used to work and save all summer so I didn't have to work much in college.

It's not a bad thing, but it is a big step. How much do you do for yourself at home? Can you cook, clean and keep your surroundings clean? Have you ever cleaned the loo, or washed down the bath? Have you ever taken the powder tray out of the washing machine and washed it so it doesn't get scummy? Have you ever split your clothes out, whites from darks, for laundry? Ever hand washed anything?

Since you're unlikely to move into somewhere on your own, be very aware that the first few years of your life away from your parents involve you sharing with other people. This can be great fun, and also a total pain in the ass. You might live in a house with no central heating for a winter, because someone in your house will refuse to contribute for heating oil, and you won't want to pay for it and they get the benefit. I found that if I spent some money on a non-stick pan, it'd be about two days before I'd catch a house mate scraping scrambled eggs out of it with a metal fork. Still, it's all a good learning experience.

Basically, the upshot is this: you're not too young to move out. But there's no need for a bridge-burning, dramatic gesture that means you'll find it difficult to go home if you get into trouble. Your desire for independence is good. Longer term, you may find yourself back home in your mid-twenties, trying to save for the deposit on a house!

LegacyUser

'how the hell does a 17 year old have enough money to move out?! :P'

upthere

unreg12453 wrote:

Hey,

Alright im turning 17 next week ive finished the leaving cert and am now in college.

Parents are very restrictive on what i can/cant do such as go out with friends, go to clubs etc..

My question is..

Is it illegal to move out at 17? and what options are open to me?

Gratz.

You can go to prison if you move out at 17, just look at all the crime!

Garret

killaqueen wrote:

'how the hell does a 17 year old have enough money to move out?! :P'

by working perhaps and being an astute saver

LegacyUser

'17 is old enough to move out but make sure you are going to be able to deal with the life first.

Have you worked before?
Do your parents pay for your clothes and food while at home?
Will your parents take it badly?

I was younger when I moved out but didn't have rent for the 1st year or so and had always worked and was used to supporting myself for most things,and alwyas had th eoption to move to my parents house again if I so wanted.

college and working are a hard combination if it is for more then just drinking money!'

Black Swan

Depends on your level of maturity, finances, resources, goals, whatever. I left at the ripe old age of 18 and went overseas to boot.

biko

Myself and a friend both left home at 16 and got our own place together. Parents were supportive with rent etc.
Some mad parties were had I've never lived at home since.

ferdi

i can see most landlords being reluctant to rent a room to a 17yr old. at 19/20 i had massive difficulty in this field.

Just My View

Minesajackdaniels wrote:

But there's no need for a bridge-burning, dramatic gesture that means you'll find it difficult to go home if you get into trouble.

Listen to this man. He is talking sense.
Our son moved out, things went bad for him and we haven't heard from him in almost a year. We don't know where he lives any more, we have no phone number for him and none of his friends will tell us anything. There is nothing we can do for him 'til he contacts us and I don't think that's likely to happen anytime soon. Basically we've lost a son, he might as well be dead.

Just don't be an arsehole, keep your family close if you do move out. I've said enough.

ferdi

Just My View wrote:

Listen to this man. He is talking sense.
Our son moved out, things went bad for him and we haven't heard from him in almost a year. We don't know where he lives any more, we have no phone number for him and none of his friends will tell us anything. There is nothing we can do for him 'til he contacts us and I don't think that's likely to happen anytime soon. Basically we've lost a son, he might as well be dead.

jesus christ man - just becuase you're not in contact, he might as well be dead? what a wonderful attitude, no wonder he's keeping clear of yiz.

Just My View

You're misreading my post. For all we know he could be dead. We are worried sick and it's not getting better.

Sorry for going OT.

ferdi

ok sorry, back on topic

r3nu4l

Yes you can move out.

Options:

Living on campus: Usually more expensive than off-campus but convenient and many utilities (e.g. electricity, heating) are often included in rent

Living in digs: You move in with a family/Man/Woman and pay high rent that includes food and sometimes bills. They take you on and feed you, Can be quite restrictive also and some families lay down some strict rules about when you can and can't use certain rooms, kitchen, living room etc. They are not supposed to do this but in practice many do.

Renting a room with other people: Look at MinesaJackDaniels post. This can be really great fun but can also be very annoying. I too have had non-stick frying pans ruined, glasses and mugs broken, food stolen from the fridge :rolleyes: etc. but the right housemates can be very supportive and a great laugh

The above are the more usual options. As others have said, you do need to think seriously about rent and money. What is the average rent for people living where you are thinking of moving to? How much will it cost for food, electricity, gas/oil, phone bills etc. Will you have to take up a part-time job, will it effect your studies? What happens if you lose that job, do you have savings to tide you over until you get another job? Will you have to buy cutlery and saucepans?

Think about it before jumping at it. My folks were very restrictive when I was 17 and I wanted out too but it can be hard work when you come home from college and have to cook your dinner, put a wash in the machine, wash your dishes etc before studying when all you waant to do is relax

blorg

I moved out at 17 to go to UCD (parents lived in Meath), best thing I ever did. My parents were very supportive.

The key issue really is going to be the expense - if you don't qualify for a grant and are not going to get financial support from your parents you will have to work this out very carefully as it IS very expensive, rent in particular. I would think you would need near €750-€1,000 a month to manage it in Dublin these days, including the cost of bills, textbooks, etc.

It is _very_ important that whatever you do you have _enough_ money, a certain amount of economy and self-sufficiency is great but if you are _really_ stringing it out you will suffer in your studies. I made this mistake myself as did many of my friends, really living on a shoestring and wasted SO much time working out where I could save a few pence on this or that. Honestly, get a student loan if you can't earn enough, they can be good value and you will presumably be making a decent amount of money after you complete your course. I only took one for my last year and for a smallish amount but made sure I had it paid back before I even left college (started my first "proper" job part-time in the March.)

Once you leave school and go to college I really do think parents have to back out of your life a bit (it is much more of a defining moment than the arbitrary age of "18".) But whatever you do make sure as other posters state that you all stay on good terms. In fact I suspect moving out would likely improve your relationship, it's time to start an adult-to-adult relationship with them. YOU won't be a burden to them, THEY won't be nagging you any more, and you'll probably both enjoy visits a lot more with none of that stuff hanging over you.

Kolodny

I don't think 17 is too young to leave home as long as you are fully prepared for the reality of it. It really depends on your own maturity. Obviously you have to know how to look after yourself (although that can apply to people of all ages in fairness - I know 30-somethings who haven't a clue how to manage their finances or do the most basic of household tasks including one or two that probably didn't leave home young enough!)

I felt prepared when I left home at 17 for my second year in college (25 miles from home) and I moved from England to Ireland the following year. A lot of this was due to my mother who, as soon as I started working part-time at 16, asked me to contribute to the rent on our flat, bills etc and cook and clean for myself. She treated me as a young adult from that age, rather than a child and I thank her for that because it definitely made me more independent than I might have been. However, I didn’t leave home to get away from parental restrictions; it was more because I just felt ready to do my own thing. Personally, it improved my relationship with my mother as I think we developed more respect for each other after I left home.

Things can easily go pear-shaped if you revel in your ‘freedom’ a bit too much (especially when studying and paying your own way) and if you don’t want to have to go back to your parents after a while, tail between legs, just make sure you’re prepared to make it work. It could be great or it could be a disaster – either way it’s a valuable experience.

Ickle Magoo

Yip, I moved out at 16 & have been completely independent (both financially & physically) ever since - it's not difficult if you really want to do things that way & your folks are great to give you advice on life outside the home as they went through it all. Talk to the university you attend re reccomended digs - the halls of residence are even better if you have never lived on your own before & need to find your feet. If you want or need to be financially independent then it may be worth speaking to your student advisor re grants or loans available & getting a part-time job. It is absolutely possible & living away from home definately has it's good points - but free/cheap accomodation, meals, etc with your parents support & experience on tap is great too. Add up the pro's & con's & see which is better for you in the long run. Best of luck!