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Boyfriend possibly depressed... I'm so unsure!?

  • 14-11-2006 4:53pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hey, I'd love some help with this problem I'm having at the moment. It's really getting me down.

    I've been seeing this guy for about 5 or 6 weeks now. He asked me to be exclusive after about a week and a half and even though this was extremely quick I agreed because I really liked (like) the guy. He always doted over me like a mad man and kept telling me how great he thought I was etc...

    For the past week or so he's been telling me that he's really down in himself. College and family problems are bringing him down a lot and he's having a hard time. He says he gets like this every now and then. I'm pretty sure one of his parents suffers from depression, going by things he has told me.

    At the moment he never seems to want to meet up with me or do anything. His text messages to me are really unaffectionate compared to how they used to be up until very recently and all he talks about is how down he is.

    His sudden lack of affection towards me is getting me down and his lack of wanting to do anything with me is getting to me as well. I feel like he's getting ready to dump me. However I'm just not sure because I've never dealt with depression at first hand and don't truly know how it feels. Although I've offered him a caring ear to listen to anything he wants to talk about, he says he doesn't want to talk about it, that he just needs to deal with it. I feel like he's closing me out because of this.

    Does it sound to you like he may be suffering from depression? (I wasn't sure whether I should just ask him straight out or not, so I haven't)

    I don't want to be selfish and talk about how much it's affecting me, but it's really getting me down. I can't figure out whether he's lost interest in me, or if he really is having difficulties with himself and just needs time. And if that is the case, surely he'd want to be with me to cheer him up?

    I just don't know... Any help appreciated!


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    hmm, it does sound like hes depressed alright, of course he could just be going through a rough patch.
    as someone whos battled with depression maybe i can shed a bit of light-of course this is just my opinion and not fact.


    His sudden lack of affection towards me is getting me down and his lack of wanting to do anything with me is getting to me as well.

    The thing about depression is that when your depressed being surrounded by people makes you feel even emptier.

    However I'm just not sure because I've never dealt with depression at first hand and don't truly know how it feels. Although I've offered him a caring ear to listen to anything he wants to talk about, he says he doesn't want to talk about it, that he just needs to deal with it. I feel like he's closing me out because of this.

    'just needs to deal with it'
    when i have boughts of depression they usually come out of the blue, its not a rational thing, its different to 'feeling sad or upset about something' its an absolute irrational complete emptiness inside, a hollow feeling i cant describe. to be honest when it gets like that i just have to 'feel' it theres really nothing else you can do. Talking about its not really an option, theres nothing to talk about because its irrational, i know theres no reason really to feel like that - i just do.

    And if that is the case, surely he'd want to be with me to cheer him up?
    if only it were that easy, like i said depression is more than jusy a feeling of being 'sad' its not possible to 'cheer' him up.
    For the past week or so he's been telling me that he's really down in himself. College and family problems are bringing him down a lot and he's having a hard time. He says he gets like this every now and then. I'm pretty sure one of his parents suffers from depression, going by things he has told me[\quote]
    it sounds like hes confided a lot in you, the best thing you can do is just be there for him, don't smother him or press him into discussing things he doesn't want to. Hes a lucky guy to have someone who cares about him, sooner or later he'll realise that.


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