Diary of a Fat Chick

Frequent

jsb and trilo, thanks a lot for your input. I'm actually not feeling too discouraged. I have a renewed motivation to hang on in there.

So yesterday I had no lunch because I slept so late (not feeling very well, fluey symptoms). I woke, and ate some porridge and apple juice. Then in the evening I cooked up some spicy chicken, peppers and onions and ate them with salsa, light creme fraiche and a couple of small flour tortillas. I also ate two pears yesterday.

This morning I had muesli, which I mixed with porridge oats, because my brand of muesli just has more dried fruit than I would like, and the porridge adds a creamier consistency. I was late, and still feeling a little rough, so I missed my supplements. I'll get them later. For my morning break I had a pear and some apple juice mixed with water and a few pumpkin seeds. Lunch will be out (again), so it is difficult to predict, but if possible I will have soup and wholewheat bread. My afternoon snack is some herbal tea, an apple and a few nuts. Dinner tonight is a cod fillet, with some "healthy chips" (a medium potato cut into wedges, drizzled with a teaspoon of olive oil, salted and roasted) and a big green salad.

If possible, I will go for a brisk 45 minute walk this evening.

Bigfatme

well done Frequent.

I think the key to sucess after a bad day is to pick yourself up, dust yourself down and get on with what you've been doing so well for so long now! No harm done.

Keep up the good work!

Frequent

Ok, I admit it, I am lapsing a little. I am surprised at myself, but every day I keep trying to get back on track. I was out on Tuesday night and had three pints. I am a bold, bold girl. People bought them for me without my asking and I drank them without protesting. AND, I went and did my Christmas shopping yesterday which for years and years has been a ritualistic treat which I have enjoyed by myself. It has always included a trip to a fast food restaurant, the one that my mum always took me to as a kid on the annual shopping trip.

I didn't even make a healthy choice.

So anyway I am firmly back on track today. I had a pear, a plum, some pumpkin seeds and a pot of natural yoghurt for breakfast. I am having some oatcakes and cottage cheese with a little fruit spread for lunch, as well as some raw carrots and a kiwi. My afternoon snack is an apple and some seeds. Dinner will be wholemeal pasta with a bolognese sauce made with lots of fresh vegetables.

I am going to a trad night tonight but as long as I keep singing and playing the badhrán I should be able to keep all the food and drink out of my mouth.

Bigfatme

Frequent... where are youooooo??

I hope all that pre- christmas temptation hasn't got you!

Seriously though, well done on picking yourself up after your little lapse... hey a girl's gotta let her hair down now and again!
You've got to have some fun at Christmas!

Frequent

I have had an awful week. Not just in terms of food. A lot of disasters and tears and things going wrong, including the death of my laptop. Hence my lack of updates.

On the subject of death, a person indirectly related to me is dying and while this person is not special to me, I have been helping care for people who are affected by this, including babysitting, organising, working extra hours etc. My whole body is tense and stressed and the long and short of it is that I have eaten for stress relief and regained two pounds. I can honestly say it helped with the stress, but my body is wrecked.

I have had training this week at work which has been in-house catered - awful white bread and mayo combinations, and pastries and coffee. No fresh water (ordinarily I am by the cooler), no fruit, nothing nutritious.

But I do not want to give up - I have organised for my gym membership to begin in February and I am in this for the long haul. But I am in a bit of a rut at the moment. It is especially difficult that there is a dinner party or get together every evening. In fact, I am writing this during a party at work (the third one so far!) to avoid the mince pies and wine. At least I am doing plenty of walking - I don't drive and there are so many errands to run right now that I am permanently on the go (which also explains the eating of fast foods).

Tonight in fact there is a party in my own house (it has been planned for weeks) and although the main course is a healthy one, the rest of the food is alcohol and festive junk. My willpower is through the floor.

Not only this, I am in the position of having to eat several Christmas dinners, from the problem of needing to be in many places at once. I feel overwhelmed by the whole food culture right now. The Christmas season is much harder than I expected it to be. I thought my mindset would be enough to get me through it but I hadn't banked on so many complications.

Pray for mojo.

Sangre

Not sure your exercise plan but if you even walk a half hour a day it would make this weight loss so much easier. (havent read whole thread). Walk with your SO, nice brisk pace while have a chat.

The reason I think a lot of women fail by dieting is because they try and achieve a caloric deficit by food, which is very hard.

justsomebloke

just make sure that all the meals that you can control are good clean meals. This will have a 2 fold effect 1) it will be a bit of a damage limitation exercise and 2) it will make getting back into the swing of things a lot easier once everything is back to normal.

Christmas is one of the hardest times of the year to eat properly and I am sure that even if others things hadn't happen you would still be finding things hard. However just remember that you have control of what you eat, you are the one who has taken the decision to eat what ever it is you have you eaten so try and not let the peer pressure of other's get to you cause in the end they are not ones that have to then have to restrict calories for a longer period to get down to your ideal weight. So by all means treat yourself it is christmas but just try and take things in moderation and come the new year you will feel a lot better because of it

also remember we are all behind you on this here, but you are one that holds the key to your own success so good luck over chrimbo

CerebralCortex

You shouldn't call yourself a fat chick. Suggests you don't believe in yourself.

hmmmm

I must say well done Frequent. I am not overweight but my diet is crap which I know will come back to haunt me. This log is an inspiration for me and i'm sure others to eat healthy.

Keep up the great work! You are doing excellent so far.

Yes it's an inspiration alright to eat healthy

how have you been getting on?

Brown_Eyed_Girl

Yeah come on back to us Frequent and let us know how you are getting on

bobbysands81

Hey Frequent, keep plugging away!!!

Frequent

Hello ladies.

I'm back! My laptop is officially dead, but I am now back in work after the Christmas stint so I have regular net access once more. After several weeks of poor diet, I am determined to get back on track.

Last night I stayed with friends, so was unable to carry on the ritual of weigh and measure as has become the Monday morning tradition. They also woke me up with orange juice and a bagel for breakfast, which would not have been my choice, and I am now feeling somewhat bloated, but at the very least I am not hungry.

I have spent the last week overseas with friends where I was fed a diet of pork, bread, pork, bread, pork, bread, gristle, cheese, pork, bread, and then sometimes a little pork. I am absolutely constipated. There was also a lot of beer and crisps. I feel like hell. My smaller-size jeans still fit, so this makes me think I have at least not regained too much.

I am going to make my meal plans for the next two weeks today, and tomorrow it is back to official clean eating (today is a semi-start, as I already ate the bagel). It is an amazing change for me that switching back to good eating now feels like getting back to normal. What's more, I had my first experience this Christmas of genuinely not wanting sweets and chocolates etc. Often I have refused, while desperately wanting them, but I have now reached a point where not only my mind but my body too are saying "Enough is enough". Usually I'd just shovel them in without any thought for wanting them or not - never mind the damage they were doing to my body.

I will resume good eating and try to get some exercise this week, and then have my weigh and measure next Monday.

Watch this space.

ponygirl

Hi Frequent,

Welcome back, loving those posts! There aren't enough of us girls posting here, but you're inspiring me to think about starting my own log...

Dragan

Frequent wrote:

It is an amazing change for me that switching back to good eating now feels like getting back to normal. What's more, I had my first experience this Christmas of genuinely not wanting sweets and chocolates etc. Often I have refused, while desperately wanting them, but I have now reached a point where not only my mind but my body too are saying "Enough is enough".

Well done! Behavioural changes are the hardest to make, and when they become ingrained they are the ones that pay of the most! Keep it up.

justsomebloke

Hey welcome back, I was starting to get worried that you had fallen off the wagon over christmas. Anway good to have you back as quite a few people are reading your thread and using you for inspiration (that said just remember this thread si for you in the long run and nobody else), and it is great that we can also use you as a great example of how you can turn your life around by simply starting to make healthy choices and not having to go extremes like soem people are.

So good luck for the new year and may it bring the rewards that you hope it will:)

Frequent

Thanks so much for all the encouragment guys, it really is heartening not to get a a telling off after a few weeks of relative failure.

Attached is what I have worked out for the next couple of weeks for my diet. Bear in mind if you happen to be using it for inspiration yourself, that my portions are generally small. Porridge and muesli servings are around 50-55g. Milk is always skimmed. Yoghurt servings are about 200g, natural and low fat. Meat is about 75g-100g. Rice and pasta are 50-75g (dry). Bread is two small slices. Vegetable servings are large.

Not listed are my snacks - 2-3 pieces of fruit a day and 2 servings of seeds or nuts (half a tablespoon is one serving). I also drink lots of water and herbal tea, and usually 2 glasses of apple juice (50% water).

g'em

Menu planning is a fantastic way to keep on track, and kudos to you for being so thorough. It takes the guess work out of eating and discourages eating unnecessarily.

And no-one's going to give you a ticking off!! It was Christmas, a season of indulgence, and I think it's pretty fair to say that even the most hardened of fitness fanatics found room for a mince pie or two ; But the new year has begun and it's onwards we go, so keep up the hard work and keep us posted.

Frequent

Ok, I have fallen off the wagon and into the mud, and now I have eaten all the mud. I am feeling very convicted and fat. I have no idea what I have regained. I will set a date to climb back onto the wagon and give a humiliating update soon.

kindle

Frequent wrote:

Ok, I have fallen off the wagon and into the mud, and now I have eaten all the mud. I am feeling very convicted and fat. I have no idea what I have regained. I will set a date to climb back onto the wagon and give a humiliating update soon.

hey just wanted to say that its not a failure more a learning excercise. Most of us spend years developing bad eating habits and think they can be fixed overnight. I'd say that you have learnt a lot from your endeavours to date, you now know how good food affects your body and that when you eat right you can lose weight. Remember the hardest part of any journey is starting it
! The problem with learning curves is they tend to involve crashes but that does not negate the progress to date. The problem with us ladies is that we tend to have a lot of emotion tied up in food so that when we do fall of the wagon the crash comes with all our emotional baggage around food landing on our heads. I have no doubt that when you are ready you will succeed. All the best with it and dont put yourself down in the meantime!

justsomebloke

ye I have to say when I fall off the wagon it is generally with biscuits and chocolate bars, oh and ice cream. I have to say mud is very odd craving to go for but each there own:D

Ok although the last sentence was a bit of a piss take it did contain one small vital piece of info as I say "when I fall off". Even after all I have learned and put myself through to lose weight I still every so often binge on stuff even though I know I shouldn't and chances are that most of the people even the ones you give out advise occasionaly will fall off the wagon and binge on the odd occasion. Now it mighn't be as bad as we use to do it but we still do it. the thing that we have learned from experience is how to pick ourselves up after and also to say when enough is enough. Truthfully I don't think anybody goes through a weight loss programme without a couple of bumps.

In relation to setting a date for when you get back on the wagon, as the saying goes there is no time like the present, and the longer you leave it the harder it will be to get back on

t-ha

Frequent wrote:

Ok, I have fallen off the wagon and into the mud, and now I have eaten all the mud. I am feeling very convicted and fat. I have no idea what I have regained. I will set a date to climb back onto the wagon and give a humiliating update soon.

Hey Frequent, I just found this thread and I have to say the 4 pages I've read have been excellent to see. You started with a good mindset and it's served you well thus far.

Regarding falling off the wagon, I lost alot of weight a few years ago and one thing I can tell you is that your body tells the tale of your everyday diet, not of the few times you fall off the wagon. Also remember that 'eating all the mud' used to be the norm, so you're still in a much better position now than you used to be. Capitalise on that and keep on keepin' on.

Dragan

S'up Frequent. As already pointed out everyone falls of the wagon….and all the good you have done since you started will still outweight the bad you did recently. Just do your best to get back into it as early as you can, use the memory of how you feel now to drive you on! Remember, failure is not a permanent state.

Frequent

Thanks for the encouragement everyone.

My scales broke some time ago so I bought myself a new set at the weekend. And so today there were no more excuses.

When I began this process a few months ago, I was 17 stone 10 lbs. In spite of the failed past 7 or 8 weeks (how can it have been that long?!), I have sustained a loss of 8lbs. I currently weigh a hefty 17 stone 2lbs. This means that I have regained maybe 6 (I can't remember exactly how much I had lost) but at least I didn't put it all back on and then some, which has been my pattern to date.

So I am feeling motivated.

Today I ate muesli for breakfast. Lunch was a chicken kiev with lots of steamed broccoli and green beans and a few ounces of boiled baby potatoes. Supper was scrambled eggs on two slices of toast. My snacks were a pear, a nectarine and a glass of (low fat) milk. I also had a coffee at one point.

So, not completely ideal, but all in all a healthier approach than the last two months. I have also starting getting regular exercise on the weekends, playing sport, which I'm genuinely enjoying. It's a small start.

I'm back.

Frequent

Well. Day two and I am already struggling.

I need some advice. The very hardest part of my day while dieting (and can nobody please tell me I am not dieting - I AM - even if it is healthy and balanced eating I am ingesting less than average in an attempt to burn fat - that is dieting) is lunch. I find lunchtimes so awkward. At home it's not a problem but when I am at work it is a nightmare. I actually think it is the reason for many of my downfalls. Not to mention that there is no question of being able to get my hands on rye bread or any such thing - you can't even get it in most supermarkets, never mind cafes/delis.

Please don't say cook meals the night before and bring them in - I do this where possible but this is about all those days when I am not prepared. Some nights, for example, I do not get home until midnight, and there is no way I am going to be standing at the cooker making pasta for lunch the next day.

I had originally been eating things like salads and oatcakes and so on. But in or around lunchtime I am permanently starving. I am not an evening snacker, I'm a midday snacker, and having small portions of unsatisfying food is very difficult. I even find my blood sugar levels dropping when I'm travelling home, and feeling angry and depressed and dizzy until I can have dinner.

For my lunch today I had a takeaway bagel and a fruit smoothie. I know bagels are calorific but I also know that I will now not snack between now and dinner because I am satisfied. If I eat a light dinner (and at this time of the day, salads and so on are fine for me) then hopefully I should still be able to lose weight with this method.

I only need lunch in work three days a week, so the other four I can cook myself some chickenand eat it with wholemeal bread and salad, or even have beans or eggs on toast.

If anyone can advise a decent filling lunch that I can pick up in a bagel bar or a Centra I would really appreciate it.

g'em

When you're in a fix just go back to basics. Opt for lean protein, lots of salad, no sauces, and a Litre of water to help fill you up. Bagels are very misleading labelled as "healthy" foods, they're very doughy and processed, they'll do your blood sugar no favours. Most Centra shops have started doing individual portions of brown bread, and you can get cooked shciken and salads at the deli counter. Virtually all sandwich shops or coffee shop chains have pre-made salads available. If you have to eat a big lunch, fill up on greens and meat, not breads.

And don't be afraid to snack in the afternoon. Some nuts, or a yoghurt, some fruit- these will help you to not to starve before dinner.

You can do this, you know you can. It's not always going to be easy, but it'll make success the more satisfying. We all fall off the wagon from time to time, I know I do, but getting back on track again is what's important, and that's exactly what you're doing right now. Good luck

Shrimp

Ask your pharmacist about lecithin, it can help supress hunger pains. It is a soya extract that helps in the movement of fats in and out of cells, as well as ions, wastes, and nutrients.

t-ha

Hey Frequent, I know what you mean - it's hard to be organised ALL the time.

I always keep a few non-perishing foods at my desk for just that reason. Seeds, nuts, protein powder, oil and tinned foods are all in there, so if I screw up on planning my meals I've got the basics to put something together. It might not taste the best, and you probably won't find these meals in a cook-book, but that's just motivation to get more organised for next time.

HammerHeadGym

Hey frequent,
Don't be too hard on yourself when you fall off the wagon. The worst thing you can do when you give in to temptation is to say, "well the diets screwed anyway, where's the nearest Mickey D's?" Realise that you slipped up and try harder the next time. Rome wasn't built in a day. Just take you time and stick with it. You're making good progress, just stay focused on your goals. At this rate, I'm sure you'll be in great shape for your christmas social
Another thing I do, when I get the craving for junk, is pause for breath and honestly ask myself, "can I do without it? just for one more day?". The answer is 'usually' yes.

Don't give up girl

Frequent

So. I'm back again. According to the scales this morning I am up to 17 stone 8lbs, which is almost right back where I started, at 17 stone 10lbs.

I guess it could be worse. I could have regained that weight and and then some, but despite all the pizza and chocolate, I haven't.

As I type, I am starving. Absolutely starving.

For breakfast, I was on the run and had some cornflakes with low fat milk. Midmorning, I ate some grapes and had a herbal tea. Lunch was a Glenisk yoghurt, a small banana and a cup-a-soup. Dinner will be a couple of chicken breasts and some stir fried vegetables.

I am ravenous. I don't know I can ever succeed at this thing. Misery.