St00pid things you do pissed...Mega Merge] *hic*

shane86

So me and my mate went on the tear Friday night. Fair few drinks, we got talkin to this Russian bird, absoloutely beautiful looking princess, probably the best my mate has ever pulled (he did so later). The phrase "you snooze you lose" came into effect, I go to the bar to top up the drink and come back to find my mate on the floor dancin with her. Briefly pulled her mate (who was fairly fine as well, however she was one of these who likes to lead you on a bit on the floor, the kiss for 5 seconds then pull back for more of a dance type, so tbh in terms of my mates achievement it didnt count on the oul ego stroking scale) but the oul jealously and regret at my trip to the bar was burnin inside of me.

Anyways, fall home about 3:30am slump infront of the tv and, much like that mad cockney geezer out of Human Traffic with the post session chat lines, there was some sex chat text lines on that local cable channel. Me pure locked read half the smallprint "only 10 cent per text, meet local girls now!" and thought **** it (come on like, I was rubbered and my pride has been damaged). I must have sent at least five in row, and now the ***** are texting me back, depleting about 4 euro a time from my credit. If any other alcoholics/dirty old men/lonely nerds on boards are familliar with it, the number is 57033. Unlike most advertising you get there is no "to cancel reply unsubscribe to 57033" and there is no "for problems with the service call 1850 xxx xxx" either. Anyone have an idea how to stop them? I know a night out costs a lump of money, you dont expect to be still payin for it on Monday ****ing morning!


So I suppose in the vein of that waffle, whats the stupidest thing yiv done pissed?


edit- I got an address for them, some bastards called FlirtFun. Droppin them an email now.

Im chancing my arm here but.......has anyone ever actually met up with a bird off these and......oh **** it nevermind, of course nobody has

petes

Send "stop" or "unsubscribe" back to the number.

Nalz

send unscrib or stop or end to the number, its one of those! there was a thread similar to this on here recently. Have a route around for it

Archeron

Well, one of my prouder moments involved a work night out in the Turks Head pub in Dublin. After a major amount of drink, I decided it was time to go home, so I grabbed what appeared to my long winter coat. Not realizing it was the long winter coat of a very tall female colleague of mine, off I trotted with the biggest fuzziest furry collars and wrists known to man.

At the time I lived on the Northside of Dublin, so by the time I got to the Five Lamps, I was rightly tired and grumbly that no taxis were stopping. Deciding to take matters in my own hands, I waited for a "taxi" to stop at the lights and just try to clamber in. As it turned out, the car that I tried wasnt actually a taxi, but a Nissan Micra with two girls in it. They stopped at the lights and turned around to see what could only be described as a 250 pound six foot two p*ssed up transvestite trying to squash his way into their back seat. Luckily, I couldnt really fit and they drove off at speed with the back door still open before I actually got in. To those girls, I apologize wholeheartedly.

Then I got sick on my female colleagues coat and hadnt the heart to tell her, so I dumped it and told her I lost it.

Dragan

Ring your servcie provider and give them the 5 digit code, they will give you a contact number to call.

When you call that number, if they give you any grief, just say you want it stopped or you will feel obliged to contact ComReg.

That'll work, believe me.

connundrum

Hahahahahahahaha... oh wait a sec...

Hahahahahahahaha!!

Best laugh all morning, especially ->

shane86 wrote:

Im chancing my arm here but.......has anyone ever actually met up with a bird off these and......oh **** it nevermind, of course nobody has

Change your number, you'll never get rid of em! (or so I hear )

shane86

connundrum wrote:

Hahahahahahahaha... oh wait a sec...

Hahahahahahahaha!!

Best laugh all morning, especially ->





Change your number, you'll never get rid of em! (or so I hear )

Im a complete and utter spastic, granted :rolleyes:

r3nu4l

Archeron wrote:

...turned around to see what could only be described as a 250 pound six foot two p*ssed up transvestite trying to squash his way into their back seat.

That is absolutely brilliant

OP, now I know why those premium number lines exist, I must see how I can go about setting one up

tbh

from:

http://www.regtel.ie/unsubscribe.php

SMS Short Code Allocations - Results for Code "57033"

Short Code Service Provider Telephone
57033 Zamano 01 488 5823



Call this number and tell them you want your number removed. they have 48 hours to do it.

shane86

Cheers tbh your a legend. The srvice site only gave an 086 premium number, 80c per minute in daytime, 40 at night.

tbh

no probs! that site works for any 5-digit number.

Setun

It would seem that a lot of boardsies have been in your situation shane...

kano476

im completely missing two hours from last saturday night. one of my mates put me into a taxi at 1am in tramore to get me home he went off into waterford. my house is 5 minutes walk from the taxi rank in tramore. the mother said i came in at half 3 covered in dirt, apologised for being in the horrors and went to bed. i have no idea what happened in those two hours. hopefully i was just asleep somewhere!
Another night i was caught taking a dump in the back garden by my neighbour because i couldnt get back into the house. that was a bit awkward.

Muzzy

The stupidest thing I ever did when I was pissed was during rag week last year, was my last rag week so I made the best of it. I was putting credit into my mobile from the ATM, everything worked out fine except I put €100 credit into my phone. Took me four months to get rid of it:(

Black Swan

Rarely drink more than one, but a couple months back got toasted with a flatmate (who had just broken up with her b/f). We were drinking Adios Madres, a 22 oz fishbowl drink that tastes like fruit punch and really has a sucker punch for anyone crazy enough to start on the second one! We started numero two, and cannot remember a thing or how we got back to our flat (and we were on the beach with a 2-seat sportscar about 5 miles from where we live). One of us must of drove. Now that's really stupid!

SoupyNorman

Muzzy wrote:

The stupidest thing I ever did when I was pissed was during rag week last year, was my last rag week so I made the best of it. I was putting credit into my mobile from the ATM, everything worked out fine except I put €100 credit into my phone. Took me four months to get rid of it:(

Great stuff ha ha.

A 'stand out' moment for me;
One night, came home to my apt scuttered. No sooner had the head hit the pillow did I know I was about to spew. Up I got and made for the b/room knowing I wouldnt make it to the porcilin telephone to God so I was going to settle for expelling the demons on the bathroom floor (which was one of those bathroom floors that has no shower tray) so I could just power shower the badness away but alas the god damn hotpress door is right next to the b.room door <oo>
\/

SirLemonhead

Hahahaha the old one on tv is it? That thing is hilarious.

Five seven zero...tree tree!

Sengoku79

here's two of my mates at 10.30 in the morning still going after a night on the tiles!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4UY6a_YaDY

jazoo

i have a list of stupid and embarrassing things ive done while drunk,apart from sleeping with me mates girlfriend .Heres another, one christmas day i spent drinking, the usual, my father and mother in law were staying up with us for the holidays . i was in my friends house. boom next thing i can remember was waking up in the same bed as the in laws....... since given up booze

il gatto

One night, I came home from work and my brother and his mates were pissed. When my brother drinks, he falls asleep, and when you wake him up, he's like a zombie. He mutters, he doesn't understand the simplest things and he carries on conversations with himself. I was sitting in the kitchen watching T.V., when he woke up in the next room and came in. I heard a noise, but it took a few seconds to regiter. He was pissing on the couch. I shouted two or three times before he came to, and semi-realised what he was at. He staggered off to bed and I had to clean it up. Twat.

Caco

il gatto wrote:

One night, I came home from work and my brother and his mates were pissed. When my brother drinks, he falls asleep, and when you wake him up, he's like a zombie. He mutters, he doesn't understand the simplest things and he carries on conversations with himself. I was sitting in the kitchen watching T.V., when he woke up in the next room and came in. I heard a noise, but it took a few seconds to regiter. He was pissing on the couch. I shouted two or three times before he came to, and semi-realised what he was at. He staggered off to bed and I had to clean it up. Twat.

Lol, my brother seems to wanna piss everywhere when he's locked and sleepwalking aswell... includin my other brother's head one night!

Stupidest thing I've probably done while drunk was a few months ago, read here as I'm too lazy to type it out again. All nighters doing college work placement reports then goin on the piss dont mix well! Falling asleep walking is not one of my proudest moments at all!

Summerjones

jazoo wrote:

i have a list of stupid and embarrassing things ive done while drunk,apart from sleeping with me mates girlfriend .Heres another, one christmas day i spent drinking, the usual, my father and mother in law were staying up with us for the holidays . i was in my friends house. boom next thing i can remember was waking up in the same bed as the in laws....... since given up booze

:eek: LOL

Max_Damage

Jesus, all these stories puts me too shame!

Apprently I've cycled into oncoming traffic on a bicycle before, completely hammered, or so I was told by eye-witness accounts! Quite lucky I wasn't killed!

stepbar

Continuing on where this thread left of (new year and all that )
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2054881603&referrerid=&highlight=worst+drunk

So.... Whats the worst thing you've done whilst drunk in the last year?

I can safely say losing my shoes has been the worst (and most stupidist) to date

MrJoeSoap

Yore Ma. Tbh.

stepbar

MrJoeSoap wrote:

Yore Ma. Tbh.

Now dont be bitter just because she turned you down.....

phantom_lord

losing?

stepbar

phantom_lord wrote:

losing?

Well thanks for spotting the typo but I really wasn’t looking for that response TBH....

Pighead

The worst ever? Impossible to answer. Far too many incidents of drunken tomfoolery to process.

Worst recently was when Pighead was at a party a while back, one of those affairs where there's a quite a few people you're not aquainted with.

At some point of the night, my buddy changed the cd, at which point I slurred:
"What you put this fcuking rubbish on for, who the fcuk is it anyway??"

At which point a bloke sat quietly in the corner put up his hand and said in the saddest most pathetic voice imaginable "Its me". I'm almost sure his bottom lip quivered as he said it.

"Great chorus" I whimpered as I shuffled into the kitchen.

DonkeyStyle \o/

Splashing cold water on my face in the gents while wearing my glasses... God that must have looked stupid.

woosaysdan

yeah ya did!!! i was at a party one night and got pissed on schnapps and ended getting sick into her basket of clean cloths!!!

admiralofthefleet

i was once locked, stupid drunk and was wearing grey trousers...went for a piss and went back to my seat not knowing that i had a huge wet patch on my thigh, my mates didnt point it out for ages though, it was a huge map of ireland

slightly ot, but isnt the worst feeling in the world the desperate need for a dump while your pissed in a very busy pub

Msfc

I was out one night and on our way home i thought it would be a great idea to throw my handbag into a bin for the craic (oh ye should try it,its a mad laugh-NOT) only to discover that i, nor anybody else could get it out:( and in my beloved bag was my phone, digital camera, and other stuff!! it still brings a tear to my eye to this day :mad:
God damn you alcohol!!

kizzyr

Didn't happen in the last year but is the worst thing I've ever done while drunk: got very very drunk at work night out and told the MD, Deputy MD, and the next two in line EXACTLY what I thought of them all....unfortunately I didn't think good things.:o

Archeron

I once ended up very drunk in an ex'es house. I went and threw up in the downstairs loo, but missed a bit and got it all over the floor. I accidentally knocked over a basket of pot pourri which went all over the puke. In my drunken wisdom, I thought the best thing to do was to scoop up the pot pourri and put it back in its little basket, and say nothing, but unfortunately, I scooped up a lot of sick too, and left a lovely little basket of dried flowers and cider vomit on her windowledge. I hadnt the balls to tell her the next day either, I just legged it in a taxi.

Dan133269

friend of mine one time, trying to keep up with Russians drinking straight vodka at a party, passed out.
Next day he was informed, (which was confirmed by everyone's testimony and laughter) that he woke from his sleep, needed to sh*t desperately, was helped to the bathroom, once he finished his business discovered there was no toilet paper, so instead of shouting out for some, got the bright idea to use his hand and smear his own sh*t all over the walls of the bathroom! classy

faceman

a fat chick.

oops sorry i mean "made whoopee to a geometrically challenged female"

Muineach

Once when drunk I thought it would be a good idea to give myself a piercing, not so bad, the area ? the foreskin
wasnt too bad, i was so drunk I didnt feel anything, didnt get infrected thank god, imagine heading to A&E with that !

connundrum

When out for Rag Week in Carolw IT I decided that it'd be great craic to go for a swim in the Barrow river at +/- 3.30am. So I convinced my mates to go down to the river side (under the bridge there), where I stripped down to me jocks and lept in.. fully expecting the lads to be right behind me!

Of course they had 1 brain cell between them and decided that river swimming in February might not be the best idea.

The cold I experienced was unbelievable, my body went into complete shock. I got out very quickly and legged it back to the gaf where I jumped into the shower for the next hour or so.

Bad whiskey, bad bad whiskey

Nalz

leave msgs on the ex birds phone begging for her back...bad form that. I ripped up a 20 euro note one night too, dunno which is worse actually

shane86

Mine was so stupid I required the help of the wise men of boards to solve it

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055021060&referrerid=&


Apart from that, got into some trouble after downing 2 litres of vodka in the early hours of Good Friday last year. Which makes me at least the 2nd and possibly the 3rd in my family to get into serious bother on GF (my uncle was injured years ago when on a session up the North he was hit by a car, pissed as a fart of course)

There is a god, and if you drink on Good Friday he will strike you down

Terry

connundrum wrote:

When out for Rag Week in Carolw IT I decided that it'd be great craic to go for a swim in the Barrow river at +/- 3.30am. So I convinced my mates to go down to the river side (under the bridge there), where I stripped down to me jocks and lept in.. fully expecting the lads to be right behind me!

Of course they had 1 brain cell between them and decided that river swimming in February might not be the best idea.

The cold I experienced was unbelievable, my body went into complete shock. I got out very quickly and legged it back to the gaf where I jumped into the shower for the next hour or so.

Bad whiskey, bad bad whiskey

I lost a t-shirt in the barrow once. long story.

i'm sitting here trying to remember which is the worst on many, many bad things i've done whilst under the influence.
no. i'm not going to go into it here. it's really too personal and sad and ****ed up.
i'll just tell you about the time i got lost on my way home from a house party. walked through some gardens, climbed a few walls and walked through a few fields and eventually found a road. then the cops pulled up beside me, i asked them for a lift home and they delightfully told me that i was getting a lift, but it wouldn't be home. instead i spent the night in a cell after being charged with trespassing. last time i ever drink vodka.

YeAh!

I ran around cork city, past all the nightclubs with my friend in a trolly. We kept hitting the sidewalk and she'd fall out and just get back in. Very, very embaressed the next morning.
However, that same friend was caught by the guards peeing in the middle of the street. Even more embaressing!

arseagon

One of my worst (there have been many) was deciding to take a "shortcut" across a training pitch and running track in the middle of the night. Half way along I decided that this hadn't been a good idea because it was very muddy. next thing i spotted a railing leading down to the running track and decided to head for this, climb over and walk down the steps on the other side.... There were no steps just a pitch black drop, trouble was i'd climbed over at this stage and was so pissed I couldn't pull myself back up. So the only choice was to let myself drop. I still to this day don't know how much of a drop it was, I just remember waking up on my back.

sunnyjim

Hmmm, once I was in Rome with 3 of the lads. There are 2/3 companies who run pub crawls, where you get free drink/tshirts etc. Well anyway, we bumped into a few friends who were interrailing and happened to be in Rome on one of these pub crawls.... Apparently, at the end of the night I was nearly passed out outside on the pavement, and the girls came over to see of I was ok.

"I'm ok"
"Now your not"
"I know... I know.... I'm on herion... Been strung out since '98"

Elphaba

Probably the stupidest thing that springs to mind is one night a few years ago when I was in college. Went out on the lash and was drinkin vodka to beat the band. Vodka always makes me feel dehydrated when I get home so I woke up at God knows what time dyin for a drink. Without turning the light on I reached around on the locker beside my bed and in my drunken state opened the first bottle I put my hand on and took 2 big swigs out of it. Something was wrong and after a minute of sitting in the dark feeling the bottle I realised it was nail varnish remover. Then I just went back asleep (as you do). Was in bits the next day so I was never sure if it was the nail varnish remover or the vodka that did it to me!

Steyr

Was at a mates birthday in his house and he was twatted drunk ( buckfast yup yup ) and he was so out of it he fell asleep so we decided to mess his head up so we all agreed that when he woke up we would act like he didnt exist as in he died the night of his party, so he wakes up, sees us on the couch crying, pretending to be on the phone to the hospital asking "is he really dead" "oh drink poisoning you say" ( all of us crying etc ) asking his brother to ring his parents to tell them their son has died:D and to organise a coffin and ring a priest to come to the house to give the last rights as he is lying on the bed. ( all the time this was going on he was shouting "im alive" look at me, we just acted like he wasnt there ):D

Classic 21ST!

Maccattack

shane86 wrote:

So me and my mate went on the tear Friday night...

That is one of THE funniest posts ive ever read. You rock.

I salute you!

Pet

Forgetting to eat, drinking more, repeat several times, then leaving coat in someone's flat, and having to walk home in this FREEZING weather, after a night on the Second Most Uncomfortable Couch Ever.

Hangover of doom today. :-/

Car Mad

Steyr wrote:

Was at a mates birthday in his house and he was twatted drunk ( buckfast yup yup ) and he was so out of it he fell asleep so we decided to mess his head up so we all agreed that when he woke up we would act like he didnt exist as in he died the night of his party, so he wakes up, sees us on the couch crying, pretending to be on the phone to the hospital asking "is he really dead" "oh drink poisoning you say" ( all of us crying etc ) asking his brother to ring his parents to tell them their son has died:D and to organise a coffin and ring a priest to come to the house to give the last rights as he is lying on the bed. ( all the time this was going on he was shouting "im alive" look at me, we just acted like he wasnt there ):D

Classic 21ST!

Ha ha thats brilliant this one one of the las thought he was going deaf so after a few when he was gone to the jax.We all agreed we were going to pretend we were talking by just moving our lips.He comes back we start moving our lips he starts rubbing his ears we keep on like nothins wrong when he shouts at the top of his voice.Fup i really am gone deaf . We were in the stiches:D

Terry

il gatto wrote:

One night, I came home from work and my brother and his mates were pissed. When my brother drinks, he falls asleep, and when you wake him up, he's like a zombie. He mutters, he doesn't understand the simplest things and he carries on conversations with himself. I was sitting in the kitchen watching T.V., when he woke up in the next room and came in. I heard a noise, but it took a few seconds to regiter. He was pissing on the couch. I shouted two or three times before he came to, and semi-realised what he was at. He staggered off to bed and I had to clean it up. Twat.

I had a lodger who used to sleepwalk.
one night he was hammered and walked into my room. I was in the middle of painting it at the time and my digibox was on the floor. he proceedd to take out his lad and attempt to piss on the digibox. i dived off the bed and woke him before he blew himself up. ****ing dumbass.