Dumb and Funny Warning Labels On Products

pepper

Toilet Plunger
Caution: Do not use near power lines.(Say what?)

Dremel Electric Rotary Tool
This product not intended for use as a dental drill. (i should hope not)


Hair Coloring
Do not use as an ice cream topping.(Dam there goes my dinner plans)


Dial Soap
Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that would be how?)

Stridex Foaming Face Wash
May contain foam. (you dont say!!!)

Sleeping Pills
Warning: May cause Drowsiness(Well thats no good to me)

Christmas Lights
Warning: For indoor or outdoor use only.(as opposed to?)

Mattress
Warning: Do not attempt to swallow(WHAT?)


RCA Television Remote Control
Not Dishwasher Safe(Well how else can i clean it?)

Pine Mountain Fire Logs
Caution: Risk of fire(well duh!!!!!!!!!!)

Hair Dryer
Warning: Do not use while sleeping. (but thats the only time i have to do my hair)

Road Sign
Caution water on road during rain.(Maybe get a blanket?)

Children's Superman Costume
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.(But i wanna be a superhero......)

Air Conditioner
Caution: Avoid dropping air conditioners out of windows.(Well im not lugging it down the stairs)

Slush Puppy Cup
This ice may be cold(May- thats not definate right?)

Bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.(A shoplifters dream!!)

Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.(So this is why all those 5 year olds have been crashing thier cars-Mystery solved)

Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.(Oh dear sorry im allergic)

Korean kitchen knife:
Warning keep out of children(But how else will i kill them!!)

New Zealand insect spray:
This product not tested on animals.(Just bugs!!)

Blanket from taiwan:
not to be used as protection from a tornado(Oh dont worry it wont be)

Infant's bathtub:
Do not throw baby out with bath water.(Cos that would be crazy?)

Package of Fisherman's Friend throat lozenges:
Not meant as substitute for human companionship.(HA HA HA)

Curling Iron
Warning: This product can burn eyes.(Only the eyes-Im ok so)

Toner cartridge for a laser printer
Do not eat toner.(But im hungry)

A toilet bowl cleaning brush.
Do not use orally.(What about analy?)

A birthday card for a 1 year old.
Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less.(In case of????)

Can of air freshener.
For use by trained personnel only.(Good im just finished my training course)

Sign at a railroad station
Beware! To touch these wires is instant death.
Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted.(I think the death is punishment enough)

Manual for an SGI computer.
Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers.(But i hate them)

Small print from car commercial which shows a car in the ocean
Do not drive cars in ocean.(But i like to swim).

Bag of cat biscuits
Simply pour the biscuits into a bowl and allow the cat to eat when it wants.(No it will eat when i say!!)

Depend Adult Diapers
Step into underwear and pull them on just like regular underwear.(Im a big girl now)

Box of household nails
CAUTION! - Do NOT swallow nails! May cause irritation!(I dont feel anything so far)

county

some good ones there

Peteee

Cyanide Pills - Caution, may contain traces of peanuts

fobster

pepper wrote:

Sign at a railroad station
Beware! To touch these wires is instant death.
Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted.(I think the death is punishment enough)

ROFLMAO!

Another one.

Bag of peanuts. Caution: Small children can choke on nuts.

Fair enough but so can anybody else, what makes children so damn special lol!

Kojak

Lol

Mad Dog

Rofl

byte

pepper wrote:

Sign at a railroad station
Beware! To touch these wires is instant death.
Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted.(I think the death is punishment enough)

Should that not be electrocuted

admiralofthefleet

fobster wrote:

ROFLMAO!

Another one.

Bag of peanuts. Caution: Small children can choke on nuts.

Fair enough but so can anybody else, what makes children so damn special lol!

some bloke sued a peanut company and won a few years ago after he choked on peanuts, now certain brands of peanuts carry the warning 'warning:may contain nuts'

carpenoctem

LOVE those. A few to add:

On a Swedish Chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hands or genitals."
(I want to add that in Swedish the word for genitals is the same as the word for limbs, but it still cracks me up!)

On a bottle of shampoo for dogs:
"Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish."

On a Revlon hairdryer:
"Do not use in shower."
(But wouldn't that be handy? To wash the hair and dry it at the same time!)

On a hand held massaging device:
"Do not use while sleeping or unconscious."

On a toilet at a public sports facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan:
"Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking."
(Damn, I always drink out of loos!)

On a 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow:
"Not intended for highway use."
(Well where ELSE would you have wheelbarrow races then?!)

On a rock garden set called 'Popcorn Rocks':
"Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth."
(Hmmmm... it may just lead to more than that)

On a laser pointer:
"Do not look into laser with remaining eye."
(Cause if you just looked inte the laser with one eye, you may not wanna lose the other one as well?)

On a microwave oven:
"Do not use for drying pets."
(Words defy me...)

A label inside a protective bag (for fragile objects), which measures 15cm by 15cm by 12cm:
"Warning: Do not climb inside this bag and zip it up. Doing so will cause injury and death."
(If I were a midget, I would say TOO LATE )

On a packet of blu-tac:
"Do not use as ear plugs."
(Well, everyone knows that chewing gum's the way to go!)

On a Boeing 757:
"Fragile. Do not drop."
(Yeah, I thought that was the whole idea of aircraft?)

On a ortable stroller:
"Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage."
(That might be clever)

On packaging for an iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body."
(Well, if you dry your hair in the shower, this is just another way to save time...)

On a hammer:
"May be harmful if swallowed."
(Well if you swallowed the nails from the last one...)

On seal on a packet of ketchup:
"Do not eat if seal is missing."
(Well how would you know?!)

On the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle:
"Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death."
(There's a risk...)

On a 6x10 inch inflatable photo frame:
"Not to be used as a personal flotation device."
(Again, if I were a midget...)

On a cordless phone packet:
"Do not put lit candles on phone."
(And you would do that why?)

On packaging for a wristwatch:
"Warning! This is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants."
(Again, why?!)

c - 13

This one has always been my favorite, seen it on matches and a few other bits and pieces.

r3nu4l

Very good pepper I like them

Originally posted in AH I see, isn't this the second thread in two days you've had moved? I guess you just post everything in AH and use the mods as your aministrative staff to ensure it eventually gets to the right place

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Billy Connolly was on telly last night about hairdryers:

"Do not use while in shower..."
The acting-stupid was first rate!

pepper

r3nu4l wrote:

Very good pepper I like them

Originally posted in AH I see, isn't this the second thread in two days you've had moved? I guess you just post everything in AH and use the mods as your aministrative staff to ensure it eventually gets to the right place

Ya i wasnt sure where to put it sorry

Feral Mutant

pepper wrote:

Korean kitchen knife:
Warning keep out of children

Who are they to tell you how to raise your kids?

r3nu4l

On the bottom of Mars celebrations boxes:

'Do not read this while box is open' (obviously a joke)

Capt'n Midnight

fobster wrote:

ROFLMAO!

Another one.

Bag of peanuts. Caution: Small children can choke on nuts.

Fair enough but so can anybody else, what makes children so damn special lol!

Because they have smaller oesophagus / windpipes ?

or maybe it's because kids nowadays are allergic to peanuts, that sort of thing didn't happen when I was young.