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Police Comments

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  • 29-11-2006 4:26pm
    #1
    SystemError
    Closed Accounts Posts: 175 ✭✭


    The following 15 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos
    around the country.


    #15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch
    after you wear them a while."

    # 14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth
    certificate a worthless document."

    #13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

    #12 "Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? Because that's the
    speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

    #11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can
    write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

    #10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think
    it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

    #9 "Warning! You want a warning? OK, I 'm warning you not to do that
    again or I'll give you another ticket."

    #8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are
    drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

    #7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go
    to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs, and step in monkey
    poop."

    #6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster
    oven."

    #5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

    #4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"

    #3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're
    allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

    #2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal friend
    of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

    The envelope please...

    AND THE WINNER IS....

    #1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we
    don't. Sign here."


Comments

  • Options
    #2
    petes
    Registered Users Posts: 8,382 ✭✭✭petes


    Shouldn't no.14 be "If you don't take your hands of the car?".


  • Options
    #3
    SystemError
    Closed Accounts Posts: 175 ✭✭SystemError


    petes wrote:
    Shouldn't no.14 be "If you don't take your hands of the car?".
    No. Sometimes when you get arrested the pigs tell you to put your hands on the car while being searched
    Have you never watched cops ?
    "Bad boys bad boys awatchyagonnadoo"


  • Options
    #4
    petes
    Registered Users Posts: 8,382 ✭✭✭petes


    Its my brain. Slow day.


  • Options
    #5
    Snivilian
    Closed Accounts Posts: 47 ✭Snivilian


    petes wrote:
    Shouldn't no.14 be "If you don't take your hands of the car?".

    No.


  • Options
    #6
    Car Mad
    Closed Accounts Posts: 510 ✭✭✭Car Mad


    SystemError wrote:
    #1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we
    don't. Sign here."
    ouch:D nice ones.;)


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    #7
    Kojak
    Registered Users Posts: 12,801 ✭✭✭✭Kojak


    :)


  • Options
    #8
    Hail 2 Da Chimp
    Registered Users Posts: 7,589 ✭✭✭Hail 2 Da Chimp


    SystemError wrote:
    #8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are
    drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

    Hahaha :D

    SystemError does it again!


  • Options
    #9
    jobonar
    Registered Users Posts: 1,305 ✭✭✭jobonar


    SystemError wrote:
    #1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we
    don't. Sign here."

    i would love to see the face on the woman who was told this!!

    Classic :D


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