The Onion talks to Maynard

"For the most part, I have no idea who those people are—especially when we're traveling through Europe. And it's not all our fault; it's a whole series of events. [You play] heavy music, and your record company, which has never owned an album anything like what you're doing, immediately markets you to the obvious stinky kid with the dreadlocks and the B.O. and the urine on his shoes because he's been sleeping in his own filth in a festival in the middle of the rain.They basically market right to that guy. And then you realize the only people showing up to your shows are those primates—these weird, cretin people"

http://www.avclub.com/content/node/55757/1

Good read

Motley Crue

As opinionated as Maynard is, please be aware that the Onion is a sactrical magazine which has run stories in the past that have been completely fictionialised out of spite of particular artists, and I would be suprised if this is the case here. I mean, with this kind of attitude towards their label, TOOL should go shopping for something new in the Spring.

Alucard II

^ i have no idea what you're talking about

i read this earlier today tho; good interview. for once its seems the interviewer got on MJKs good side. he can come across as being pretentious and hard to approach at times, but there are the few times when he's himself with interviewers, and he seems much cooler, funny guy too. i think it really depends on the impression the interviewer makes.

im also very, VERY glad they didnt get the Yeah Yeah Yeahs to support them

buck65

yeah guys this is a great interview - ye guys who are complaining must be the cheese type guys he hates - listening to rubbish music - Tool are a step above you guys.
Whats satirical about it?
You idiots probably scoff at wine drinkers - grow up trolls.
Tool are too intelligent for guys like you if ye dont find this enlightening

Alucard II

^ this guy has to be a shoe-in for ****wit of the week.

i'm a massive Tool fan, i love everything about them, except some of their fans, and you sir/madam/child, are the type that i hate. yes Tool are very intelligent, but for **** sake, they are only human. why do people have to elevate them to godlike status? Maynard would scoff at you for being so foolish.

its people like you who stand for one of the biggest things that Tool opposes; following blindly.

Maynard: Think for yourselves
Buck65: Yes sir, Mr Keenan sir

granted, im not entirely sure what Motley Crue was getting at in his post, but i didnt see anyone in this thread, ie. myself or 2 other posters, belittling at Tool or Maynard in anyway, and you come on talking ****, and insulting people, and this is exactly why Tool fans get a bad name. you make us look like extremists. take your own advice, grow up.

buck65

Alucard II wrote:

^ this guy has to be a shoe-in for ****wit of the week.

i'm a massive Tool fan, i love everything about them, except some of their fans, and you sir/madam/child, are the type that i hate. yes Tool are very intelligent, but for **** sake, they are only human. why do people have to elevate them to godlike status? Maynard would scoff at you for being so foolish.

its people like you who stand for one of the biggest things that Tool opposes; following blindly.

Maynard: Think for yourselves
Buck65: Yes sir, Mr Keenan sir

granted, im not entirely sure what Motley Crue was getting at in his post, but i didnt see anyone in this thread, ie. myself or 2 other posters, belittling at Tool or Maynard in anyway, and you come on talking ****, and insulting people, and this is exactly why Tool fans get a bad name. you make us look like extremists. take your own advice, grow up.

You plonker
I was agreeing with you initially
The original poster doubted Maynard saying these things about their fans and record label
Why doubt it ?
I know those idiots he talks about, you can find them at every metal concert , moshing away, drunk as hell, reckon Deicide have as much to say as Tool, still think that Metallica are relevant ,
I've grown up man , I am a Tool fan and just sick of all you apeholes

Alucard II

....the original poster didnt make any comments beyond "good read". he just posted a link, and a quote from the interview.
apologies if i was off the mark by the by; i've had many a run-in with Tool fans who are just too immature for their own good.

o1s1n

buck65 wrote:

have as much to say as Tool

What's this big thing about Tool having something to say? They're not bloody phophets. Just a few musicians who've hit a market niche in kids who are sick of the boring old generic head banging metal and want something "deeper".

In the end they just make the same old music, just with a pretense of greatness and out and out snobbery. Some of their long winded stuff has to be the most boring and dull music I've ever witnessed a band preform live.

It wasn't me!

A lot of Tool fans have some kind of complex, they think they're chosen, that Maynard James Keenan is some kind of messiah, speaking only to them and their clique of artsy friends who listen to Tool because it "speaks to them" or "has a message" or some generic bull**** like that. Tool are a ****ing rock band, not a religion, and Keenan's had plenty to say in the past about those dickheads, at least as much as about the sweaty long-haired types who go to rock shows. Here's the thing, he doesn't really like anyone, and there's noone he's always nice to, so get off your goddamn high horse, it's not about being relevant or any such thing. Rage Against The Machine were relevant, Audioslave, not so much. A Rage Against The Machine album is as important now as it was ten years ago. Metallica, still as important in the evolution of music as ever, though they've moved out of the stream now. Bad Religion, if you want to make the point, have a ****load more than Tool have ever, ever had to say, are far more informed, and have been saying exactly what they want for nearly thirty years now, so pardon me if I don't join the Maynard choir. If you want to make the point, Deicide *do* have as much to say as Tool, they just say different things. In the same regard, the bloody Beach Boys have as much to say, they're just ****ing musicians, not politicians. They're informed and opinionated, but this is not their area of expertise, the music they write and release is, so get off your high horse, stop assuming this was written for you and your friends alone, who of course will never ever get drunk or have their own kind of fun ever, so can sit quietly in the corner while Maynard gets up on the pulpit and preaches to you, never mind the rest of the ignorant masses, they're just silly, thinking they're there just to enjoy a show.

o1s1n

buck65 wrote:

still think that Metallica are relevant ,
I've grown up man , I am a Tool fan and just sick of all you apeholes

This annoys me. So what, you simply listen to music because it is relevant? Relevant to what exactly? Our times? Political scene? Current World religions? Talk about total bull. I don't listen to Metallica, not because they're not "relevant" anymore, but because i cant stand the sound of them.

Thats all it should come down to. Whether its an enjoyable experience for your ears or not. Relevancy has nothing to do with it.

You've grown up? .. does growing up involve becoming pretentious and forgetting what music is actually about?

Catari Jaguar

o1s1n wrote:

. Some of their long winded stuff has to be the most boring and dull music I've ever witnessed a band preform live.

I second that

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

love all their music, but I think the lads themselves are a bit daft.

sacred geometry my ass.
still, it's nice to see a band that clearly puts a lot of effort into their music. I can respect that, even if I don't neccesarily respect them.

Alucard II

^ people have strange beliefs. even if you dont buy into it yourself, you have to respect their right to believe. my family is christian, i dont hold it against them

Cousin it

Alucard II wrote:

^ people have strange beliefs. even if you dont buy into it yourself, you have to respect their right to believe. my family is christian, i dont hold it against them

couldn;t agree more. well put.

also if you think the sacred geometry stuff is a load of crap (which it might be, it;s not for me to say as i haven;t done the research yet) check out what this guy does with it:

www.alexgrey.com

Alucard II

^ Alex Grey FTW. love his work, or most of it anyway.

seanironmaiden

cool interview...

Diarmuid

Whenever I read so called Tool "fans", funnily enough I think of Hooker With A Penis. Keenan writes great music with some very insightful lyrics. Enjoy it but don't take it too seriously.

j0e

One of the best interviews I've read to date the interviewer really got him to open up for once

Tar.Aldarion

Diarmuid wrote:

Whenever I read so called Tool "fans", funnily enough I think of Hooker With A Penis. Keenan writes great music with some very insightful lyrics. Enjoy it but don't take it too seriously.

This is my favourite Tool song, sums a lot of people up so well.

buck65

take it easy guys was only winding ye up