Santa.

gonker

My 11 year old still believes(d) in Santa up to the other day when a child in her class asked the teacher did she believe and the teacher said no she didnt. This really annoyed me as I feel its up to Adults to say they do unless its really obvious that the child doesnt. Anyway I convinced her that the teacher was a bold girl and Santa mustnt have come to her or some other stupid excuse.
Anyway she came home from school again yesterday distraught that another teacher had said to them that there wasnt any such thing as santa and not to tell their little brothers or sisters as it would ruin Christmas for them.
Now she is really upset and keeps saying to me "you would tell me wouldnt you" I am furious as she had only really questioned it once before and she accepted my explanation. Her little friends believe too.
What should I do. help

Nevyn

I suggest that you speak with the teacher.

littlebug

Gosh it's one thing when other kids say there is no santa but it really isn't the teacher's place to say it! I agree that you should have a word.

That said... at 11 it probably is time to be honest with her especially if you're getting the "you would tell me wouldn't you" thing happening. It could get to a point where she's more upset at you for lying to her than at discovering there is no santa! Others may have different opinions but I do believe that when you're asked outright, especially at that age, you should tell the truth.
Not a great time for of year for it though:( It would be nice if were held off another few weeks but I'd day the damge is already done.

I was 8 (and the youngest) when my mam told me and you know I wasnt in the slightest bit bothered by it as long as I still got presents. In fact I felt all grown up! I know when my older sisters were told my mam eased the pain of it by getting them involved in choosing and buying the presents for the younger ones and made a big fuss of them keeping the secret and making christmas more magical for the small kids.
HTH

the_syco

Talk to the teacher, and say that you're thoughly disgusted that they got off on telling your kid that santa doesn't exist.

Mark Byrne

I agree that the teacher was well out of order to confirm such news to a child. On the other hand, in this day and age I think you can consider yourself lucky that you got away with it until your child was 11. My 7 year old daughter came home from school the other day querying the whole Santa thing, saying she was told by a classmate that it's your mum and dad who buy the presents and not Santa. Think we got away with offering an explanation, makes me wonder how long more she'll believe. I was hoping to get at least another 3 years of her believing minimum. At this rate though could be her last Christmas believing in Santa, now at 7 years of age I think that this is a particularly sad development,

regards,
Mark.

Owen

While I agree with Thaedydal on how ignorant your Teacher is in this situation, I do feel however that 11 is a tad old to still be believing in Santa. I remember being that age in school at a kid saying he believed in Santa. I don't think I've ever seen someone jeered, and mocked as much. It's for her own good than you fess up and break the harsh reality.

gonker

I know its old to still believe but I was getting away with it. Her friends still believe too I know one is 11 and the other is just 10. The school has gotten back to me to say that the teachers never said any thing about Santa at all. The Spanish teacher said they were discussing Spanish customs and that the 3 wise men bring presents instead of santa over there but the phrase she came out with "dont tell your younger brothers and sisters as that would ruin christmas for them" seemed too adult or am i imagining it. I will have a chat with her this evening.

c - 13

May I put forward a slightly different take on this ?

Could it be possible that the child has an inkling that santa doesnt exist but at the same time doesnt want to come right out and say it just in case they are wrong ? Especially this close to christmas ? Could it be possible that the child is testing the waters by saying that a teacher said it to them, as a teacher would obviously be a much more trustworthy source than another child.

Now please dont get me wrong OP i'm not saying that the child is bending the truth at all merely putting forward another take. It would be wise to fully suss the situation out first as it could be very embarrasing for you to confront the teacher and have her to look at you with a blank expression.

Disclaimer - I may look at this situation slightly differently than a parent, not being a parent myself but merely drawing on the experiences that I myself have encountered with two younger siblings.

gonker

Yep c13 I will question her again this evening. She is a clever little girl but she is usually quite truthful (my little girl is an angel ha ha not).
Ill see what happens.

littlebitdull

My eldest son believed up to just after his 11th birthday and my elder daughter believed up to shorty before her 12th. So it can totally depend on the child. 11 would not seem too old to me to still believe. And the girls are willing to believe longer - they love the fairies and all that make believe stuff.

I would be livid with the teachers if they took it upon themselves to tell the kids this. Especially at this time of the year !! Imagine how horrible it would be to lose your belief just three weeks before chirstmas :mad:

I would just talk to her again... keep stressing how he is real. Time enough next summer to let her know the truth. Now is not the time of the year to learn these things. When your ready - and feel that she is too - you can take your time to let her in on the "game".

Then you can sit her down, over an ice cream, and explain how the magic of christmas can live on for as long as we want to, regardless of when your a believer or not.

Personally I am still a believer .... Christmas is still magic for me!!

iguana

I remember when I was in 5th/6th class (I can't remember which as we had the same teacher both years) took it upon herself to start a discussion about how we all discovered that Santa wasn't real. And surprise, surprise her starting the disscussion was how a few kids in the class discovered it.

Luckily, they managed to keep this quiet at the time and not get upset in front of the class. And tbh, while I knew Santa didn't exist because I had read What Katy Did and there was a scene in it where Katy and her dad and Uncle put out the Xmas presents and joke about being Santa, this school discussion was the first time it was confirmed to me as an adult. I have no idea what was going on in the teachers head when she initiated this discussion.

Kashkai

IMO, a lot of the magic of Christmas is lost when you stop believing in Santa Claus. In my case, a girl in my class (3rd I think) took it upon herself to tell everyone else that there was no Santa. Now she had been kept back a couple of years and therefore was older than the rest of us, so if she said it was true, then it must be so.:eek:

Now when poor old Santa went off to the great igloo in the north pole, the ugly commercialism of Christmas reared its head and I started to see what a mad rush and incredibly stressful time it was was people (especially in the cash strapped 1980's). This turned me off the whole Christmas thing until my wife and I had our first child. Then we had the chance to get back into the spirit of things and I have to admit, nothing has made me smile more over the past 6 years than seeing the look on my eldest daughter's face when she sees what Santa has left her. Our twins had their first visit to Santa last Saturday and they were intrigued by the red suit and the big white beard. I can't wait until they too are waking me up on Christmas morning to drag me down to the christmas tree to see what Santa has left.

A child's innocence and wonder at the jolly old man from the north pole should be protected as long as possible and to hell with the cynics and killjoys of this world.

miles teg

read in one of the morning papers today that a teacher got sacked for doing the same thing as what the OP said her child's teacher did. Wonder if it's the same incident?

gonker

I said it to my daughter that the teachers said that they didnt say there was no santa and she said that they did. She got really upset and I said well they have gotten into trouble for saying it and she said well they should because they shouldnt be telling lies to kids. She didnt backtrack or anything so I am convinced that the teachers did say it, but its an eleven year olds word against a teacher. I dont want to ask any other kids in the class because I dont want to draw too much attention to it either.
Well she says she still believes anyway so.

oRlyYaRly

Is she in 5th or 6th class?

Avns1s

I hope there's no 7 or 8 yr olds reading this! LOL

On another note, our 6 year old arrived home from school last week where an older boy told him that there was no santa because it was the postman who delivered the presents!!!

on the original question, I would have it out with the teacher. I know 11 is getting close to the time that they should know, but get this year out of it at this stage if possible, would be my opinion. In fact, I'd let them have the bit of magic as long as possible. Soon enough they'll be dealing with the harsh truths and realities of life.

gonker

5 th class

Oul Wan

I think that's awful that the teachers did that. I'd be raging!

Cutie18Ireland

Thats terrible about the teachers, I realised when i was about 12 but whenever i asked my mam she always told us there was a santa, she still to this day wont say it if i ask lol which i think worked great as a kid rather than ruining it by saying it out right there was always the hope that he was real.