I don't know what is wrong with me

LegacyUser

Hi There,

I am a regular poster on these boards but over the last few weeks i've become seriously depressed and i don't know i just need to let it all out here - it's eating my up inside.

Ok where to start - I am sick of doing the exact same thing every day - coming going from college - same ole crap in it. The class is so god damn small (only about 5 of us in average in) so i see the same people every day. I suppose I can get over that but this is the thing. There is one girl in the course and well we are best of friends - so close to eachother.
She finds the course quite difficult so I helped her a lot last year in all her assignments and coming up to summer exams i helped her out a lot. I don't mind this i like helping people.
She passed so she in year two now with myself and a few other lads. Things going just as well this year until about 4 weeks ago.
There was a class party on and well i had a house mate outing that night planned before hand so i tried to get both done together so thought id go to the bar to the class and then go to a nightclub with my house mates.
She came over to my house that evening and we started drinking - got on great that hour or so but then went to the bar. I paid for taxi and all like a fool, well then that was fine and we got back into town on a bus to nightclub. I was going back to the nigthclub to meet my housemates and expected her to come with me as well i had her invited and all and well we were kinda out together that night but she said in the other night club the class were going to. This kinda upsetted me a bit. So i go to the other club alone to find doors locked then went to house to find i had no keys to get in so that was a **** night.

Well ever since that night now she seems to be extremly friendly with another guy in the class (that i get on well with and all) and he seems to be mad onto her now what ever happened that night. Now whenever he is around she laughing and he always beside her, always chatting to her and i'm left on the outside on my own.
This is really bothering me as it is like he is a replacement of me. I know this sounds stupid but its all well till you are in the situation.
I think i actually like her, i never thought i did but since this happening now i've actually come to realise it. My housemate keeps saying that she knows theres something between the girl and i but i keep saying nothing. All this is making me think about the girl even more.
Other things make me kinda upset as well like how I done so much for her and I get nothing in return. All these small things are adding up and i think i going crazy. Just before this now i drove home from college and i felt so angry, taking it out in my driving like revving crazy when taking off. Its not me like.
This evening she had an assignment to be in and well i was prepared to give her a hand and well he sat beside her first before i could get a chance and he started helping her and i was sitting there like a fool so i just left. I think they noticed that i was pissed.

Most of this probably doesn't make sense now but i hope people can understand the gist of it. I would love to talk to someone bout it but the only person i can talk to is her and well yeah she the problem

Thanks for reading.

Caliden

Sounds like she's made her 'choice'. Maybe you came accross a bit strong.
I'd say just move on and since you are in such a small class she would let you know whether or not she is interested in you in the future.
Don't go dropping everything to please her, enjoy yourself.

LegacyUser

I think i actually like her, i never thought i did but since this happening now i've actually come to realise it.

she probably just saw you as a friend, if you didnt realise you liked her how was she supposed to know?

i was sitting there like a fool so i just left. I think they noticed that i was pissed.

done so much for her and I get nothing in return. All these small things are adding up and i think i going crazy. Just before this now i drove home from college and i felt so angry

i dont understand why you're directing your anger at her or this other guy? They haven't done anything wrong.

you didn't make a move, this guy obviously did and shes into him.

its only natural that you're gonna feel jealous of him, but don't throw away your friendship by being bitter or angry towards her.


i presume ye go out drinking together anyway, so you'll find out soon enough if theres anything going on between them.

Whatever you do if indeed her and this other guy are 'together' i wouldn't advise blurting out your feelings to her

Just try not to let it bother you (easier said i know..) If the relationship between them or whatever fizzles out then maybe you'll get a second chance to tell her how you really feel.

Black Swan

Caliden wrote:

Sounds like she's made her 'choice'.

Looks this way, from the way you have described it OP. Happens to many "in love and war." Time to cut your losses? Learn from it, get over it, and move on? And you just might be lucky in the long run, if she is a "user" personality?

Húrin

I don't think it's a good idea to go out with someone in your class, especially when the class is so small.

Kold

Well attraction is hardly about good ideas now. I think you will actually just have to accept this, noone is really worth obsessing over. There will always be someone to fill the gap that she'll leave.

LegacyUser

'Thanks for the replys.
Just a few things to clear up here -
I would never intend on getting together wit her as this would really have an effect on our good friendship.
What is annoying me is whenever this guy is around i get ignored. Put on the sideline so to speak. I know she only likes him cause he funny and sound but i know she wouldn't get with him either - Don't ask me why - just know.
I can get over not ever getting together with her, its just the close friendship we had seems to be drifting away.
I don't think it is nice for her "to move on" from a friendship. I hope this won't happen as she is my best friend.

Thanks anyways people, all i wanted to do is get this out of me '

upthere

That's how bad I am , i just read the first line of ur thing but I get like that too. You need to get away. Like what lenny kraviz said!