Yore Ma is so fat...

Hagar

Yore Ma so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up

Yore Ma so fat her nickname is "Lardo"

Yore Ma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.

Yore Ma so fat were in her right now

Yore Ma so fat people jog around her for exercise

Yore Ma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone

Yore Ma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors

Yo mamma so fat you haveta roll over twice to get off her...

Yore Ma so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for then new world

Yore Ma so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy

Yore Ma so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!

Yore Ma so fat when she has wants someone to shake her hand, she has to give directions!

Yore Ma so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"

Yore Ma so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"

Yore Ma so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized

Yore Ma so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway

Yore Ma so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller

Yore Ma so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets

Yore Ma so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th

Yore Ma so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too

Yore Ma so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"

Yore Ma so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!

Yore Ma so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"

Yore Ma so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.

Yore Ma so fat she fell in love and broke it.

Yore Ma so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.

Yore Ma so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock.

Yore Ma so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!

Yore Ma so fat she's got her own area code!

Yore Ma so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!

Yore Ma so fat God couldn't light Earth until she moved!

Yore Ma so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!

Yore Ma so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!

Yore Ma so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago...

Yore Ma so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg.

Yore Ma so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!

Yore Ma so fat her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky!

Yore Ma so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the her good side!

Yore Ma so fat she wakes up in sections!

Yore Ma so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!

Yore Ma so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of george washington's nose.

Yore Ma so fat she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar!

Yore Ma so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!

Yore Ma so fat when she bunje jumps she goes straight to hell!

Yore Ma so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!

Yore Ma so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!

Yore Ma so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views!

Yore Ma so fat she's on both sides of the family!

Yore Ma so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!

Yore Ma so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!

Yore Ma so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!

Yore Ma so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!

Yore Ma so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand!

Yore Ma so fat she has to use a VCR as a beeper!

Yore Ma so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!

Yore Ma so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she's wearin tights!

Yore Ma so fat she got hit by a parked car!

Yore Ma so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!

Yore Ma so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans!

Yore Ma so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.

Yore Ma so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat people say "Taxi!"

Yore Ma so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway!

Yore Ma so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller!

Yore Ma so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave she landed on 12th

Yore Ma so fat when she bungee jumps she pulls down the bridge too

Yore Ma so fat she steps on a scale & it goes one at a time please

Yore Ma so fat she fell in love and broke it!

Yore Ma so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck!

Yore Ma so fat she fell in love and broke it.

Yore Ma so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.

Yore Ma so fat they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping

Yore Ma so fat when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground.

Yore Ma so fat when she back up she beep.

Yore Ma so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.

Yore Ma so fat she has to buy two airline tickets.

Yore Ma so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.

Yore Ma so fat she influences the tides.

Yore Ma so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.

Yore Ma so fat she broke her leg and gravy fell out.

Yore Ma so fat the animals at the zoo feed her.

Yore Ma so fat she was baptized at Marine World.

Yore Ma so fat she's on both sides of the family!

Yore Ma so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.

Yore Ma so fat the Aids quilt wouldn't cover her

Yore Ma so fat she stands in two time zones.

Yore Ma so fat I tried to drive around her and I ran out of gas.

Yore Ma so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops.

Yore Ma so fat shes on both sides of the family

Yore Ma so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through

Yore Ma so fat when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.

Yore Ma so fat that she cant tie her own shoes.

Yore Ma so fat sets off car alarms when she runs.

Yore Ma so fat she cant reach her back pocket.

Yore Ma so fat when she wears one of those X jackets, helicopters try to land on her back!

Yore Ma so fat her college graduation picture was an aerial photo.

Yore Ma so fat she lays on the beach and Greenpeace tried to push her back in the water

Yore Ma so fat she broke her leg and gravy poured out

Yore Ma so fat she uses redwoods to pick her teeth

Yore Ma so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures

Yore Ma so fat she jumped in the air and got stuck.

Yore Ma so fat she put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard.

Yore Ma so fat she sat on a dollar and squeezed a booger out George Washington's nose.

Yore Ma so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.

Yore Ma so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon.

Yore Ma so fat that when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and tries to tow her back into the ocean.....

Yore Ma so fat that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, she caused an eclipse.

Yore Ma so fat she hoola-hooped the super bowl.

Yore Ma so fat she was baptised in the ocean.

Yore Ma so fat she has to iron her clothes in the driveway.

Yore Ma so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.

Yore Ma so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"

Yore Ma so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow!

Yore Ma so fat that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.

Yore Ma so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet.

matt-dublin

they're brutal!
you should be banned for that!

Hagar

Yore Ma told you to say that, didn't she?

Rabies

I don't care how bad a joke is, don't moan about it. Use the thread rating system.

Bans will be handed out to repeat offenders.

Thank you.

xzanti

I thought they were good

Mr Magnolia

Hagar wrote:

Yore Ma so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets

LMAO, great post.

Yore MA is so fat .. er .. she should probably lose weight.

So yeah, your mamma jokes are always funny!!

MonkeyWrench

Thats one helluva lot of Yer ma is fat jokes. Will have to memorise a few for new years eve and the eventual downturn in humour after the 12 bells goes and everyone is pished.

c - 13

Ah I didnt see my favourite one listed -

Yore ma is so fat that everytime she goes to the beach all the whales start singing "We are family ....."

Capt'n Midnight

one of my favorites is missing too

Yore Ma is so fat she uses a boomerang to put her belt on.

And from the archive http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=210398

Yo mama's so fat she uses a hula hoop to hold up her socks

your mommas so fat when she stepped on the weighing scale it came up her phone number.

Your Mamma's so fat, I swerved to miss the b!tch & ran out of petrol

Yo momma is so fat that other fat women orbit around her.

Yo mammas so fat you`d need a Sherpa and a Yak to get up on her!!

Your mother is so rotund that when she attended her school she sat beside,
everybody.

yo mama so fat, her cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard!

your momma's so fat that she has increased risk of heart disease and diabetes.

Yo mommas so fat, when she turns around she gets a welcome home party.

yo momma's so fat when she went missing her picture took up all 4 sides of the milk carton

yo momma's so fat when she goes to the restaurant she gets an estimate


Yo mama so fat when I tell her to move her ass, she's gotta make two trips!

yo mamma's so fat, she's an .ArrayOutOfBOundsExceptionError

yo mammas so fat that when she got on the scale it said 'to be continued'

Yo mammas so fat when she wears her Malcolm X jumper, helicopters try to land on her.

Yo mammas so fat, after sex shes smokes a ham.

so fat that when her underwear is drying on the line the northern hemisphere loses an hour of daylight

Yo mama's so fat when she sits around the house, she sits around the house!

Your moma is sooo fat - when she moons - people turn into werewolves!



Yo mama's so old she owes Jesus a fiver.
Yo mama's so old her social security number is 5
Yo mamma's so old, when God said, "Let there be light," she flipped the switch.
yo'mammas so old when she was at school there was no history class


yo mama's glasses are so thick she can see into the future.

phantom_lord

some people have far too much time on their hands...

Slippin Jimmy

xzanti wrote:

I thought they were good

Agreed, this was a good post.

Plug

Your mother is so fat when she entered the fat competion they said no perfessonals.

Mad Dog

All great ones

J.R.HARTLEY

you shouldn't bring anyones mother into this, respect your mother, cause there's no other , so treat her right, take it away Mr. T

Hagar

J.R.HARTLEY wrote:

you shouldn't bring anyones mother into this, respect your mother, cause there's no other , so treat her right, take it away Mr. T

I do respect my mother, this is about Yore Ma...

Slippin Jimmy

Hagar wrote:

I do respect my mother, this is about Yore Ma...

Oouuuu good come back. Theyre only jokes, no need for anyone to get serious about them.

Hagar

You obviously don't know me.
The last time anyone can prove I was serious about anything was 7.37pm on Feb 14 1981.
I'm not even sure it would stand up in court.;)

Slippin Jimmy

Hagar wrote:

You obviously don't know me.
The last time anyone can prove I was serious about anything was 7.37pm on Feb 14 1981.
I'm not even sure it would stand up in court.;)

Haha lol:rolleyes:

Hagar

That was the day I got married... No joking...

Slippin Jimmy

Hagar wrote:

That was the day I got married... No joking...

Ahh now seriously:D , you are, aren't ya?

Hagar

Deadly serious, The Valentines Day Massacre as I like to call it.