New baby = animal's banished

SuzyS1972

I see this a lot - not on this board per se but a lot in rescue.
Why do people feel it is ok to discard their animals " immediately " even though they have been pregnant for 9 months.
Really annoys me.
I don't see any harm in keeping a dog with a baby ?
Anyone got any insight into this for me

Is it pressure from families etc - I can understand people who give it a try and it doesn't work for whatever reason but getting shot before the baby is even born is just careless

bounty_hunter

I'm sure it's due quite a lot to the common stereotypes associated with keeping babies and pets in the same house, such as "my cat will smother my baby" and "my dog will get jealous and attack the new arrival".
I've personally come across a fair few situations where this has been the case, especially where cats are concerned.

Aside from this, a lot of new mothers tend to panic and worry that they will not have the time to devote to both their new baby and their pet, or they simply don't want to have to deal with the pet when the excitement of spending all their time with the baby instead presents itself.

I do agree with you though, just going on stereotypes and random assumptions and not even being willing to give it a go is very bad form, a pet is for life. If you've tried and failed...well, it's a sad fact of life that sometimes these unfortunate situations are just unavoidable. But not even making any effort to honour the commitment you made to your pet when you took it on is inexcusable. Women especially should think about what's going to happen if and when they become pregant before they take on an animal.

Sigma Force

You know what, I am fed up of feeling you have to tip toe around new mothers oh no they are pregnant it's such a sensative subject the baby is sooo precious and the pets shoudln't matter compared to the baby..insert sarcastic tone.

Yes of course a new baby is precious that goes without saying.

But for god sake most of these people are just plain lazy, they coudln't be bothered looking after more than one thing at a time. Ok not all situations are the same some may have financial problems or family problems etc and don't feel they can manage pets and baby which is fair enough and I would be the first to sympathise and I would help in situations if it was needed.

But to me the majority is pure lazyness, yes babies take time but most people have family or partners who can help and for goodness sake there are women out there with 3 or more kids and a house full of pets and manage perfectly well.
The hilarious thing is that most people that want to rehome due to being pregnant no1. do so at the last minute when they have had 9 months or even longer if a baby was planned, no.2 have only one or two pets to begin with.
Most animals take only about 10 minutes out of a day to feed and clean then all you need is to take the animal out for a walk twice a day if it's a dog ..a family member can do it until the mother is recovered trust me what most new mums don't realise is that they will be up bright and early every morning and the day can be very long with a young baby ..who mostly sleep and taking them out in the pram with the dog in tow isn't that hard.

I managed a newborn, with no help from family (live a distance away) partner was working long hours, we had a dog and added more pets as time went on, also wasn't well for the first few years after but in no way did I even think about rehoming the dog thought would never of crossed my mind.

There I've said it get over it and stop using new babies as an excuse just say it out that you couldn't be
bothered and don't want your pet anymore because something better came along.

Before anyone has a go read above no directed at anyone who has serious genuine problems

FranknFurter

One thing I will say, a NEW mother is often so unexpectantly overwhelmed by the baby that she panics. Ive seen that happen time and time again.
A lot of them end up regretting it after 6 months when they have a routine and have gotten to know babies moods etc.

I wouldnt be too quick to judge when it comes to NEW mothers, I can see how easy it would be to have a panic reaction to such a huge change.
I think they tend to underestimate when pregnant exactly how much will change which I think is why its often left so late.

Not fair on poor rover at all, but I can see how it happens.

B

iguana

What I don't understand is why people don't think of this when they first get the pet. I have no kids, but I know I plan to in a few years and this was a consideration when I got my dogs and it is a consideration in their training. I've introduced them to children and kept strict control over their behaviour when around them. If I'm holding a baby or small child they know that they are not to jump up on me or get in my way.

I would hope not to have children for a few years so the dogs will be a little older and more settled, but if an accident happened I would be working on training the dogs even more from the first day I discovered the pregnancy. My parents had two children and two dogs when my youngest brother was born. They also moved house when he was 6 months and they managed fine. Getting rid of the dogs was never a consideration, though I'm sure if they did they'd've had bigger problems in the mutiny that would have come from myself and my other brother.

That said my mother-in-law has a psychotic, pampered pooch which nobody in the family has any control of, who tries to attack anyone, even my father-in-law, if they so much as touch my m-i-l around her. There is no-way I'd consider bringing a baby into that house while the dog is still alive. Luckily she looks to be on her last legs.:rolleyes:

Our man in Havana

A lot of the time its the health care workers that are to blame - I have a lot of pets & when I have kids the pets will learn to respect the baby & so will the baby learn that they can not hurt the dogs or cats.

Family members often will also pressure the mother to get rid of the pets. In my opinion when you have pets in the house you have less allergies (I have always been around cats/dogs/gerbils/budgies/hamters etc etc & I dont get hayfever or suffer from asthma - but this is just my opinion.

Sigma Force

Many new mothers panic even if they don't have pets, and tbh these days many pregnancies are planned so it doesn't always come as a suprise.
Tbh the first thing a new mother should be worried about is cutting out drinking/smoking/pate and taking their folic acid not getting rid of Fido.

I can see how it happens too as I said I would be the first to help in a situation if it was genuine not if the mother just simply can't believe she is pregnant and doesn't know what to do next.

I was young..ish 21, single (partner was around but not married or living with at the time) with not a bean and all the rest that goes with becoming a new mum. I had a dog for a number of years, was living at home with my parents dog and a number of cats no one ever mentioned getting rid of any pets if they did they would of got a slap.

It can take a woman 3 months to come to terms with the fact they are going to have a baby, or sometimes even longer in that time no rash decisions regarding pets should be made.

Put it this way you pregnant women out there hold on to your dog or other pets, because you will soon realise that it's the only excuse you will have to a.go out for a walk and leave partner minding baby so you can see the real world again and b. have something else to talk about besides nappies and baby poop

Boston

bounty_hunter wrote:

I'm sure it's due quite a lot to the common stereotypes associated with keeping babies and pets in the same house, such as "my cat will smother my baby" and "my dog will get jealous and attack the new arrival".

It happens, don't pretend it doesn happen. The risk, however small, is not worth it. An animal is still an animal at the end of the day.

bounty_hunter

Where exactly was I pretending it doesn't happen?
Perhaps you should look up the meaning of the word stereotype.

SuzyS1972

No he / she is right
Sure haven't you seen the headlines every day of cats smothering babies and dogs eating babies
God how could ye miss it

SuzyS1972

Actually on a serious note can anyone find any real evidence of cats killing babies - like a real link to an incident that happened ?

I can't find anything other than Urban Myths

bounty_hunter

An acquantaince tells me that her mother has a friend who has a friend (you can see where this is going...) whose child was suffocated by a cat while sleeping in his cot. I'm not sure I'd believe this person though.

Nala

I can believe that a cat would get into a cot with a baby and could smother it by accident. I often wake up with my cat lying on top of me, that's fine for me as I'm 5 feet longer than the cat and 10.5 times her weight and can push her off but a baby couldn't. Simple solution- if i ever have a baby, the cat wont be able to get into the baby's room.

bounty_hunter

Exactly Nala, just keep the ****ing door closed.
My cat sleeps wrapped around my head halo style, so there's no doubt that if they find a nice warm little body to lie on they probably will do so, but the idea is just to not present them with a situation where that could happen. And even if it did manage to happen a couple of times, the chances of the baby coming to any harm are slim to none.

EGAR

Time and time again I get phone calls, emails etc from expecting mothers and/or their partners. Baby is coming, dog has to go. WHY? Well, it could bite, scratch, maul the child... Is the dog usually alright with kids? Oh yes, he/she loves them to bits...

I have a child, Nathan will be 3 next August. When I brought him home from hospital I introduced him to the house dogs (my own dogs, not rescue dogs). They were allowed to sniff him and to say hello. The rest was easy. They had soon figured out he was a hairless pup and here to stay. Now they pretty much ignore each other as Nathan has as good as no interest in them as he is used to them. However, precautions have to be taken and I never ever would leave him alone with the dogs or tolerate him annoying them when they eat/sleep etc and the other way around. With a bit of common sense this is no big deal.

The Health Visitor was not impressed but that's because she is scared of dogs otherwise she has had no objections and if she had, I couldn't care less. I grew up with animals and that taught me a thing or two I would have otherwise missed out on.

When I was pregnant I got lots of *good advise* such as *But now you will have to close your rescue* or *Now you have to get rid of all the dogs* and the best one was: *Now that you will have a child of your own you don't need all these dogs anymore* . Ahem, I have never called a dog of mine *my baby* nor are they substitutes for children. They are DOGS and as such they are members of my family but NOT my kids.

mjffey

I'AM A HERO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:D I'AM A HERO !!!!!!!!

I'm 47! When I was born there was a litter of kittens under my mums bed. We always had cats/dogs whatever.

I'am a hero and so is everybody born before the 70 -tish when we weren't ruled by a group of people who think they know it all.
I played in the garden, might have stuck things in my mouth I maybe shouldn't have. When you fell you could get hurt. If you wanted to use a dog for a pony ride (which I did when I was 5) then you could get bitten (which happened). My parents didn't blame the dog. It was their fault and mine and I still think that they did the right thing. I would do exactly the same if it would happen to my child (if I had one). If you still touched the stove even after being told 3 times that it's hot and would hurt, then you got burned. But next time you knew not to do it.
Now the only thing they create are a big bunch of softies!


All that talking about animals being dangerous for childeren makes me angry. It's not the animal, it's the parents who are to blame if something goes wrong.

hehe. That's of my chest. Back to work:)

2funki4wheelz

mjffey wrote:

I'AM A HERO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:D I'AM A HERO !!!!!!!!

I'm 47! When I was born there was a litter of kittens under my mums bed. We always had cats/dogs whatever.

I'am a hero and so is everybody born before the 70 -tish when we weren't ruled by a group of people who think they know it all.
I played in the garden, might have stuck things in my mouth I maybe shouldn't have. When you fell you could get hurt. If you wanted to use a dog for a pony ride (which I did when I was 5) then you could get bitten (which happened). My parents didn't blame the dog. It was their fault and mine and I still think that they did the right thing. I would do exactly the same if it would happen to my child (if I had one). If you still touched the stove even after being told 3 times that it's hot and would hurt, then you got burned. But next time you knew not to do it.
Now the only thing they create are a big bunch of softies!


All that talking about animals being dangerous for childeren makes me angry. It's not the animal, it's the parents who are to blame if something goes wrong.

hehe. That's of my chest. Back to work:)

Best post ever, you've summed up my feelings about parenting in society perfectly!

btw Pets are a responsibility just like kids and won't turn round and say 'I hate you' when they turn 16. If your kid was poking the dog in the eye and running after it with a stick would you re-home the kid or dump it in a shelter?
(I think I would )