put on hold temporarily?????

LegacyUser

Hi Everyone,

was hoping ye could give me an opinion on this. my bf told me a few weeks ago that he'd like to cool things until his exams are out of the way (we've both got our finals coming up this year). i assumed he meant cut down on nights out and that, but he wants to break up totally until they're over and pick things up then.

now i know this sounds stupid, but i've got important exams in a few months too, and theres no way i'd have broken up with him over this. We'd been together nearly 2 years and i thought he felt the same way about me as i did about him.

I know he's getting very worried about the exams tho, but still, how could you break up with someone you love, deliberately, and not see them? is it an excuse?

thanks for reading, i know theres a lot of similar posts on here, i just don't feel i can talk to anyone, most of my close friends know him pretty well too so i can't really discuss with them

miamee

Personally speaking I don't think there is any such thing as a temporary break up. Either he wants to be with you or he doesn't. What you were proposing (less nights out, seeing less of each other) would have been a reasonable compromise IMO.
Maybe he is thinking he can't give you the time & attention you deserve over the next few months & instead of feeling guilty about that he feels you'd be better off without him for this time?
Then again it might be his way of ending things without having any big dramatic scenes.

You really should talk to him & find out his reasoning behind it.

Good luck.

MojoMaker

confused! wrote:

is it an excuse?

99% of the time it is, yes

padser

confused! wrote:

I know he's getting very worried about the exams tho, but still, how could you break up with someone you love, deliberately, and not see them? is it an excuse?

Probably.

The only other possibility, in my opinion, is that he doesnt want to be around you at exam times. Do you get stressed etc? Or do you look for attention off him during the exam period, when he feels he doesnt have attention to give it? Maybe he feels his exams are too important to put them on the line by devoting his energy and attention on you.

That said, the strongest possibilty is that yes, its just an excuse.

Black Swan

confused! wrote:

I know he's getting very worried about the exams tho, but still, how could you break up with someone you love, deliberately, and not see them? is it an excuse?

Sad, but I would think it's an excuse.

LegacyUser

'thanks guys,

just needed an outside opinion. feel naive for even thinking it might be otherwise, but needed to know before i went mad.

and no, i'm not the type to lean heavily on ppl when i get stressed or worried, so it can't even be that '

king_of_inismac

Look, nobody know what he's thinking except him...

What people are saying here is just a guess, based on the scant information you have given.

Give the guy a chance, tell HIM exactly what you told us and see what HIS response is and what HE means by going on a break

Best of luck,
K

BobTheBeat

Well pressure can make people do very strange things. It seems a bit non-sensical to want to break up for a couple of weeks. What would be wrong with just not hanging out for a couple of weeks etc? Im sure that would be possible seeing as ye have made it this far already.

Having had similar experiences during my finals, I can honestly say it was nice to have someone to shoot the breeze with. You need someone who can take your mind off this stuff, even if only for 5 minutes.

Talk to him and just raise your concern about the fact that a break up is a serious thing. Who's to say that a couple months down the line,he may feel the need to break up with you for a couple more weeks, while he takes care of more committments?He's not really being fair.Best of luck to you