why is she texting?

LegacyUser

hope ye might be able to help me understand what is going on. met a girl in a club over a month ago and we have been textin almost everyday since. Thing is when it comes too meeting up, bar once, she always seems too busy or have something else on. We both go to the same college so it wouldn't kill her to meet for a coffee now and again. Did ask her what was going on but it didn't make me much the wiser. Would usually assume this to be a lack of interest an move on but why would she still continue sending texts and making drunken calls? Just doesnt make sense to me.

cornbb

Either she's incredibly shy and hiding behind her phone, she's a bit delicate and temporarily messed up (maybe just after a breakup?) or she's one of those headwrecking people that likes messing with heads for no real reason. If she had no interest in moving on I think she'd just stop texting you. Thats what springs to mind anyway.

Zebra3

Stop texting her for a few days. See if she keeps texting...

FX Meister

Sounds like it doesn't matter what her reasons are. Do you really want some girl who acts like that. She ain't gonna change. FACT

lagunababe

either she's really shy or just not too interested maybe. id say leave it a while before txtin her and see what happens?

LegacyUser

Somehow don't get the feeling shes not the shy type and she hasn't mentioned anything about an ex. Yeah my head has been wrecked over it and did try the no texting thing a few times. Always lasts max two days. Am starting to get the feeling I'm being messed around but I completely fail to see whats the point in it!

Sangre

Just ignore her until she suggests to meet up.

LundiMardi

delete her number, ignore her texts. That's what i'd do.

Heyes

im sorry unreg but i think it sounds like a case of "likes to be liked", basically she is loving the attention but is having doubts or may have changed her mind about what exactly she wants. Its not nice, but we all do it at some stage.

I could be very wrong, but its just how it comes across to me.

Hope im wrong.

LegacyUser

'Hey cut the girl some slack, Christmas is a busy time of year.
She could be busy shopping, catching up with friends or maybe
she's tied up in bed with her boyfriend! Sound to me she's either
not as keen on things as you are or she's getting some action
elsewhere.'

LegacyUser

'Thats what i was kinda thinkin Heyes, maybe its me but it doesn't make sense. If your not interested why bother, guess thats women!. have deleted the number in fustration but before ended up storing it again when another message came. Think thats what i need to do, just need a bit more willpower this time. Starting to feel that single attractive and sane are mutually exclusive when it comes to women!'

0utshined

It COULD be that she's a bit insecure in herself and feels too shy to meet you again even though she likes you.

It COULD be that she just likes attention and she's got a couple of text buddies.

It COULD be that her boyfriend isn't paying attention and you do.

The thing is you don't know what it is and without knowing the girl we're not going to either. It's a crappy situation but in your shoes I'd force the issue. The fact that she's in the same college as you is a big bonus. I'd be leaning towards her just being shy given what you've said but in your place I'd find her lecture schedule and wait for her after a class where she's going to have a free period next. Don't bullsh7t or anything just tell her you wanted to see her and go for a talk and a coffee or something. If she's not interested then so be it. Maybe she's got a good reason to not go there and then but at least sort another meeting out.

Best of luck dude.

Rb

Sangre wrote:

Just ignore her until she suggests to meet up.

I agree.

If she doesn't, forget about her.

Black Swan

My first impression when reading your post OP is that she has a b/f, but doesn't want you are him to know. I would ask her to get together soon for a chat. Maybe on campus? Coffee? Tea? Lunch? And find out if she has a b/f, and if not, then ask her out on a date. If she declines, then move on.

kryan1

LundiMardi wrote:

delete her number, ignore her texts. That's what i'd do.

empty ur sent messages, empty ur inbox bascally anything with her number on it, then you won't be able to txt her as u will no have her number. then let her stew for a while.

Miss Fluff

kryan1 wrote:

empty ur sent messages, empty ur inbox bascally anything with her number on it, then you won't be able to txt her as u will no have her number. then let her stew for a while.

Agreed. If she IS interested, she'll soon change her tune if you're incommunicado for a while.

Lust4Life

Ask her straight out if she has a boyfriend. That way you will know one way or the other and how to proceed. Cut the games and you'll be more happy about it all.

Kell

Heyes wrote:

im sorry unreg but i think it sounds like a case of "likes to be liked", basically she is loving the attention but is having doubts or may have changed her mind about what exactly she wants. Its not nice, but we all do it at some stage.

Damnit. What I was going to say.

OP- Have you explained to her that she is wrecking your head and would she pull her finger out and either go out with you for a whatever or fúck off and stop annoying you? Probably not or you wouldnt be here posting about your ills.

Unreguy wrote:

Starting to feel that single attractive and sane are mutually exclusive when it comes to women!'

No. There are just a lot of fúcking nutters out there you have to wade through to get to the nice ones.

K-

Shinners23

Unfortunately I am indeed one of those girls. I reckon she likes you but doesn't want anything heavy. That's what I'd do. I don't want to start something I can't finish but she must like you.


Would just leave it and stop texting her to be honest!!!

jellie

Heyes wrote:

im sorry unreg but i think it sounds like a case of "likes to be liked", basically she is loving the attention but is having doubts or may have changed her mind about what exactly she wants. Its not nice, but we all do it at some stage.

I could be very wrong, but its just how it comes across to me.

Hope im wrong.

My thoughts exactly. I have a friend like that. She always likes to have someone to text, occasionally more than one. but she never wants anything more. with her i think theres actually deeper issues in there somewhere but thats a whole other story. but at the same time she definitely does it cause she likes the attention.

secret_squirrel

Send her some really risqué texts, then leave her hanging. If she is a messer it will serve her right.

If she's genuinely interested it might be enough to get her to make a move.

Give her a good tease then just ask her where she wants to meet.

If she isnt interested after that - forget her.

J.S. Pill

Mate of mine was going out with one of those texty type girls once. He sent her this message.

'Sorry to have to dump you by text but its a girlfriend I want not a pen-pal'

faceman

OP you need to ignore her texts and calls. Sounds to me like tho like you may be forming an obsession a little.

LegacyUser

^ hes right, this happened to me. It just leads to headwrecking and heartache.
Stop texting her and don't text back.

Heyes

Kell wrote:

Damnit. What I was going to say
K-

Great minds think alike and all that

Aoife-FM104

I haven't read all the replies, but either you've moved into the friend zone or she has a boyfriend/is waiting for someone else to make a move.

No meet up for one month? It's weird. For your mental health, get rid of her. Partners/whatever are supposed to make your life better. She is making it worse.

faceman

Aoife-FM104 wrote:

I haven't read all the replies, but either you've moved into the friend zone or she has a boyfriend/is waiting for someone else to make a move.

No meet up for one month? It's weird. For your mental health, get rid of her. Partners/whatever are supposed to make your life better. She is making it worse.

Eh, she was never a partner, there is nothing to get rid of here.
The OP is making it harder on himself, not the girl.

He just needs to start ignoring her.

Húrin

Stop texting her for a while. Consider if a girl who is constantly busy is really worth having as a girlfriend.

LegacyUser

'Faceman your dead right -'