The Marts Springer Show

Kojak

*Accordion Therapist enters*

Lust4Life

But SofaSpud, I keep using my Accordion Tape for things other than my Accordion!

How do you ever resist?

I keep going to the local gym and taping men's butt cheeks together in the locker rooms. It's become a habit I just can't break!

The Bollox

someone's been watching The Breakfast Club.

As for me, I have been watching Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back, funny, funny stuff

Ruu_Old

Just when you thought it was over, enter creepy brother Huck who you never knew about!

The Bollox

[enter Ma Hunclefunk] DAMMIT HUCK! I damn toal ya to stay outta theyre swimmin' hole! I'll a hafta get out the leeches again

Lust4Life

Well, Marts, you see, they had to be female cheerleaders because the internet is sadly lacking in pics of ATTRACTIVE male cheerleaders.

Evidence:


Unless you would care to don a Cheerleader outfit and show the world how it is supposed to be done, I guess we're stuck with the wimmin cheerleaders.

Dutchology

\o/ gimme an M.... gimme an A... gimme a... break... and some panadol... I'm going to fall over. I may still be intoxicated. That won't work with the pyramid thing. I foresee collapsing and stuff...

Sparky

Lust4Life wrote:

Oh, all right! These ones just happened to be in the back lot here at Paramount:

Well they all put my bed to the test. It survived.

Sofaspud

Lust4Life wrote:

An excerpt of "Dale Winton does The Robot", next week at 5!

The Bollox

Sofaspud wrote:

An excerpt of "Dale Winton does The Robot", next week at 5!

just a reminder for you all to bring projectile weapons that day

randylonghorn

Spanky-s wrote:

Well they all put my bed to the test. It survived.

It mightn't have if you had been awake at the time ...

The Bollox

Hello and welcome to The Marts Springer Show, today my guests are all annoyed at their friends for taking their men! it's called "yo, bitch, my baby ain't your play thing!"

Lust4Life

Oh my. It may be best if I skip this episode. I'll be wearing chairs left and right!
I don't mean to do it! I just love my men!


Edit: Why won't someone steal mine? Heh!

The Bollox

because we all want to steal you.

It's strange how it's not going today, after all it is the Christmas special

Sparky

[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Geneva,Swiss,SunSans-Regular]Derek
[/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Geneva,Swiss,SunSans-Regular]Rock On!!![/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Geneva,Swiss,SunSans-Regular]Ready for a road trip? Me and my boys are startin' a band and we're gonna be touring. We need some hot young chicks to be our groupies. Must be willing to share expen$es. Owning your own van a plus. Next stop MTV baby! Open minded and ready for adventure? This is the ad for you! P.S. unless you're not HOT. Then don't bother.[/FONT]


[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Geneva,Swiss,SunSans-Regular][/FONT]


[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Geneva,Swiss,SunSans-Regular]I wanna ride tha' son of a bitch above ya'll
[/FONT]

Lust4Life

Good day! And welcome to today's episode of The Marts Springer Show!

Our host is slightly delayed in his dressing room and asked if I would start the show for him! (Well at least I assumed he meant for me to come out here and announce today's subject. Yet in retrospect....)

Anyway, today's show is about coping with disfunctional families over the Christmas week! Our guests have serveral options and methods they use to get through it all!

And oh, look! My own family has flown here all the way from Wisconsin! And hey! They're all totally drunk and happy and loving each other! Ah yes, stage three of the 4Life Family drunk. The "I love you Man!" stage! The best way to get through any stressful family gathering imo!

The Bollox

*hops out while trying to get right foot into trousers*

thanks Lusty for that fine introduction. Our first guest says his/her sister is the sluttiest over the chrimbo period *shudder* I mean time, and wants to say it to her face. Welcome out *name*

Sofaspud

Howya marts?

You're a censor! How dare you?

Lusty and you. . . . you're insufferable arseholes! You arseholes!

You're a piece of shit, you piece of shit!

The Bollox

HEY! just because I SMELL like shit doesn't mean I AM shit. Legs, Louis, gettim fellas

Sofaspud

*drives through the front door of TCN studios*

Sparky

omg

Lust4Life

Sofaspud! Are you my Sister-in-law?
Drink! Drink! Then we'll all get along!

Sofaspud

Lust4Life wrote:

Sofaspud! Are you my Sister-in-law?
Drink! Drink! Then we'll all get along!

*checks*

Unless your sister in law has a willy, I don't think so.

Ahh, drink. The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

---

Today on Marts Springer, "My alcoholic sister in law has a willy"

---

The Bollox

who the hell wants this in your pants?

Sofaspud

Marts wrote:

who the hell wants this in your pants?

Well . . .

Kojak

*raises hand*

Mr Springer, I have a question.

"If he is this lad's daddy, where he been at??"

Sofaspud

Kojak wrote:

*raises hand*

Mr Springer, I have a question.

"If he is this lad's daddy, where he been at??"

Oh no you di-int!

The Bollox

He's been ridin' Sofa's oul wan

Sofaspud

Marts wrote:

He's been ridin' Sofa's oul wan

Well we've established that problem already, thanks for opening wounds

The Bollox

no sweat, that's what they pay me for, or atleast they did when I worked in the abattoir...

Star Lord

Hi Marts!

I have a strange fear that my penis may be plotting to kill me while I sleep!

Lust4Life

Oh now that is a visual image I don't think we want to catch on film! :eek:

The Bollox

oh yes, I had that problem aswell. What I do is I strangle it every night. Finally when it gives up it spits out it's spinal fluid. I always feel great after killing it, but due to witchcraft it returns every night and in the presence of Eliza Dushku...

Sofaspud

Marts wrote:

oh yes, I had that problem aswell. What I do is I strangle it every night. Finally when it gives up it spits out it's spinal fluid. I always feel great after killing it, but due to witchcraft it returns every night and in the presence of Eliza Dushku...

The most effective way to stop it, I find, is to give its spherical henchmen a good judo-chopping.

Either that or watch "The Political Party" on TV3. Great penis-deterrent, is that.

randylonghorn

Sofaspud wrote:

The most effective way to stop it, I find, is to give its spherical henchmen a good judo-chopping.

Dear God, man, see a shrink!!!

I'm completely behind Marts on this one ... though I've never got spinal fluid out of mine. Am I doing something wrong?

challengemaster

you might be.. let me see what you're doing

randylonghorn

Definitely f***ing corrupted!!!

It's that wetsuit, isn't it ... it's too tight in strategic places, I'm guessing ...

challengemaster

well.. tight enough so that it shows off the 'package' well

randylonghorn

:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

Dude!! ... Lusty will be threatening you with trailer-loads of coal for next Christmas!!!!!

challengemaster

hmm... not after she gets the pics of me in that wetsuit!

randylonghorn

Ooohhh, right!! ... laying claim to my nick, are you?

challengemaster

nah.. doesnt suit me im sure i'll think of something

Lust4Life

OMG! CM is gonna send me pics of his wetsuit cameltoe?
I could be arrested!:eek:

The Bollox

don't worry, Lusty, next week we are doing a show called

"are those nakie pics of my son?!!!1!!11!one he's only 11"

challengemaster

Lust4Life wrote:

OMG! CM is gonna send me pics of his wetsuit cameltoe?
I could be arrested!:eek:

you wont be saying cameltoe when you see it ;p

Lust4Life

Yup. You're corrupted alright!:D

challengemaster

Star Lord

Challengemaster you have revived the very thing that's trying to kill me!!!
(Nice hot pants miss, whoever you are... *drool*)

And

randylonghorn wrote:

I'm completely behind Marts on this one ... though I've never got spinal fluid out of mine. Am I doing something wrong?

What you're doing wrong is getting behind Marts, thats enough to put any man off...

randylonghorn

DamoElDiablo wrote:

Challengemaster you have revived the very thing that's trying to kill me!!!
(Nice hot pants miss, whoever you are... *drool*)

Yep, the dude's got taste, in fairness. He seems to be developing a foot fetish though ...

DamoElDiablo wrote:

What you're doing wrong is getting behind Marts, thats enough to put any man off...

ROFL!
Mind you, if I have to get involved at all, I'd prefer to be behind him than in front of him!! :eek:

Lust4Life

Oh. My. Gawd!
You went there!:eek: